Totally Unreadable

[PenFoe]

RV can put that Joe Sheehan crap in here anytime.

[World's #1 Astros Fan]

RV can put that Joe Sheehan crap in here anytime.

I think RV's fatalistic fear of Aramis Ramirez still not majorly nut-punching the Cubs in any game down the stretch ultimately paralyzed him while watching what turned out to be a 5-4-3 that Aram hit into in the (?) 6th.

[SKO]

RV can put that Joe Sheehan crap in here anytime.

I know no respectable stats man thinks head to head matters because blah blah SSS but I feel like with the Cubs finishing one single game behind the Pirates, and having the 11-8 advantage head to head, and a 6-4 record in Pittsburgh going into the game, the Pirates were hardly anything but the CLEARLY BETTER TEAM IF THE CUBS DIDN'T HAVE ARRIETA. They scored four fucking runs off of Cole, there's a damn good chance they win that game with Lester on the mound.

Sheehan can take it somewhere else of that's how younger about it.

[Brownie]

Who the fuck is Dan Buffa?

If I had to choose which team I'd like the Cards to face in the NLDS in 2015, I'd take the Chicago Cubs. You can't tell me that series wouldn't be thrilling. As my dad said after a Cards comeback victory over the Cubs this season. "We gave them a taste. Now that's enough." If the Cubs make it out of Pittsburgh with a victory, it will be appropriate for the sheriff in town to quickly shut them up.

It's time for analogies to Westerns? It certainly doesn't connect very well with First Amendment jurisprudence.

This is all you need to read:

... losing to the Cubs would be a very bad ending to the 2015 campaign. Depressing in fact.

[Oleg]

Sam Miller, at BP (paywall, yada, yada), wrote a pretty interesting recap of the game that wasn't much of a recap but a diatribe about luck and how The Pirates were just unlucky all the way around (not necessarily just in the game).

But, for some reason, this paragraph brought me joy:

It's just a rotten way to go. Last year, when so much was made of the Giants' ability to leverage Madison Bumgarner's otherworldliness, by having him throw 33 percent of their postseason innings, like can you even imagine such a thing, 33 percent? But for the Pirates, 100 percent of the postseason was against Jake Arrieta. If you stretched this postseason out on a molecular level so that it lasted forever, there'd always be Jake Arrieta, in the beginning and in the end, the everpresent sun around which the whole Pirates solar system revolved, and it would be an evil sun that burned holes in their umbrellas and vomited sun gas all over their pets.

[InternetApex]

Sam Miller, at BP (paywall, yada, yada), wrote a pretty interesting recap of the game that wasn't much of a recap but a diatribe about luck and how The Pirates were just unlucky all the way around (not necessarily just in the game).

But, for some reason, this paragraph brought me joy:

It's just a rotten way to go. Last year, when so much was made of the Giants' ability to leverage Madison Bumgarner's otherworldliness, by having him throw 33 percent of their postseason innings, like can you even imagine such a thing, 33 percent? But for the Pirates, 100 percent of the postseason was against Jake Arrieta. If you stretched this postseason out on a molecular level so that it lasted forever, there'd always be Jake Arrieta, in the beginning and in the end, the everpresent sun around which the whole Pirates solar system revolved, and it would be an evil sun that burned holes in their umbrellas and vomited sun gas all over their pets.

Well written. But fails to call into account:

[R-V]

RV can put that Joe Sheehan crap in here anytime.

I think RV's fatalistic fear of Aramis Ramirez still not majorly nut-punching the Cubs in any game down the stretch ultimately paralyzed him while watching what turned out to be a 5-4-3 that Aram hit into in the (?) 6th.

Correct. I am now paralyzed from the tits down, but lived to tell the tale.

[PenFoe]

Holy shit.

Cole is simply not good enough for Pirates

[Eli]

Holy shit.

Cole is simply not good enough for Pirates

The Pirates have scored one run in their past three postseason games.

Damn, sounds like a problem. How do you think they should fix that?

the Pirates aren't competitive at postseason baseball's most important position.

That would be starting pitching.

[SKO]

Holy shit.

Cole is simply not good enough for Pirates

The Pirates have scored one run in their past three postseason games.

Damn, sounds like a problem. How do you think they should fix that?

the Pirates aren't competitive at postseason baseball's most important position.

That would be starting pitching.

I hope I am typing this sentence correctly, as I have blinded by the searing heat of that take.

[J. Walter Weatherman]

Haven't actually read this. Just going on a hunch...

http://www.chicagotribune.com/sports/columnists/ct-spt-1009-leitch-cardinals-cubs-20151008-story.html

[Wheezer]

Sam Miller, at BP (paywall, yada, yada), wrote a pretty interesting recap of the game that wasn't much of a recap but a diatribe about luck and how The Pirates were just unlucky all the way around (not necessarily just in the game).

But, for some reason, this paragraph brought me joy:

It's just a rotten way to go. Last year, when so much was made of the Giants' ability to leverage Madison Bumgarner's otherworldliness, by having him throw 33 percent of their postseason innings, like can you even imagine such a thing, 33 percent? But for the Pirates, 100 percent of the postseason was against Jake Arrieta. If you stretched this postseason out on a molecular level so that it lasted forever, there'd always be Jake Arrieta, in the beginning and in the end, the everpresent sun around which the whole Pirates solar system revolved, and it would be an evil sun that burned holes in their umbrellas and vomited sun gas all over their pets.

This is a Tim Leary–level collection of pseudoscientific mixed metaphors.

[SKO]

Holy shit.

Cole is simply not good enough for Pirates

The Pirates have scored one run in their past three postseason games.

Damn, sounds like a problem. How do you think they should fix that?

the Pirates aren't competitive at postseason baseball's most important position.

That would be starting pitching.

I hope I am typing this sentence correctly, as I have blinded by the searing heat of that take.

The guy who said Gerrit Cole isn't good enough is now taking pot shots at McCutchen:

Why isn't Andrew McCutchen an MVP-caliber player in the postseason?

No home runs.

No RBIs.

No big moments.

Everybody is waiting for McCutchen to deliver, like a franchise player is expected to do.

Criticism of his underwhelming Octobers is fair, deserved and no different than what is directed at the Penguins' Sidney Crosby and the Steelers' Ben Roethlisberger.

Crosby owns a championship ring.

Roethlisberger owns two championship rings.

McCutchen owns earrings.

McCutchen has a .321 average and a .798 OPS in the postseason and went 2-4 off Arrieta.

[Oleg]

Holy shit.

Cole is simply not good enough for Pirates

The Pirates have scored one run in their past three postseason games.

Damn, sounds like a problem. How do you think they should fix that?

the Pirates aren't competitive at postseason baseball's most important position.

That would be starting pitching.

I hope I am typing this sentence correctly, as I have blinded by the searing heat of that take.

The guy who said Gerrit Cole isn't good enough is now taking pot shots at McCutchen:

Why isn't Andrew McCutchen an MVP-caliber player in the postseason?

No home runs.

No RBIs.

No big moments.

Everybody is waiting for McCutchen to deliver, like a franchise player is expected to do.

Criticism of his underwhelming Octobers is fair, deserved and no different than what is directed at the Penguins' Sidney Crosby and the Steelers' Ben Roethlisberger.

Crosby owns a championship ring.

Roethlisberger owns two championship rings.

McCutchen owns earrings.

McKinney for Cole and McCutchen.  Cubs giving up too much?

[World's #1 Astros Fan]

Sam Miller, at BP (paywall, yada, yada), wrote a pretty interesting recap of the game that wasn't much of a recap but a diatribe about luck and how The Pirates were just unlucky all the way around (not necessarily just in the game).

But, for some reason, this paragraph brought me joy:

It's just a rotten way to go. Last year, when so much was made of the Giants' ability to leverage Madison Bumgarner's otherworldliness, by having him throw 33 percent of their postseason innings, like can you even imagine such a thing, 33 percent? But for the Pirates, 100 percent of the postseason was against Jake Arrieta. If you stretched this postseason out on a molecular level so that it lasted forever, there'd always be Jake Arrieta, in the beginning and in the end, the everpresent sun around which the whole Pirates solar system revolved, and it would be an evil sun that burned holes in their umbrellas and vomited sun gas all over their pets.

This is a Tim Leary–level collection of pseudoscientific mixed metaphors.