Totally Unreadable

[Slaky]

Here's Rian heavily overcompensating for the fact that his reign hasn't been very smooth so far:

http://www.baseballprospectus.com/article.php?articleid=28379

But hey, at least he's gotten more Twitter followers. Not that he'd ever talk about his follower count.

I had to stop when that fucking chode assumed people reading goddamn Baseball Prospectus needed him to definie "paradigm shift"

Jesus Christ, these people.

The you missed this gem:

"The best baseball writing I've read this year has been about more than baseball. It's been about politics, and race, and gender, and sexuality, and money, and power..."

Sexuality?

Jesus Christ. What is going on with this site?

[Saul Goodman]

Phil Rogers just broke my brain.

7. Nationals hire Dusty Baker

Hooray for an organization bold enough to hire an experienced manager. The Cubs did it with Maddon last season, and it worked out just fine.

[CT III]

Phil Rogers just broke my brain.

7. Nationals hire Dusty Baker

Hooray for an organization bold enough to hire an experienced manager. The Cubs did it with Maddon last season, and it worked out just fine.

I...what?

[Bort]

Phil Rogers just broke my brain.

7. Nationals hire Dusty Baker

Hooray for an organization bold enough to hire an experienced manager. The Cubs did it with Maddon last season, and it worked out just fine.

I...what?

Any time I read someone else and think "this is the dumbest opinion anyone could have about baseball," Phil Rogers is there to remind me that, no, no one will ever have a dumber opinion about anything.

[Saul Goodman]

So how are things over at BP Wrigleyville?

INTERIOR of Dexter Fowler's living room. Fowler is on the speaker phone with his agent.

CASEY CLOSE

So it looks like 3 years, 33 million is the best Angelos is gonna do.

DEXTER FOWLER

I guess that's what I'll have to go with. There aren't any other offers?

CASEY CLOSE

None that I'm aware of ...

OFFSCREEN VOICE

I wouldn't be so sure of that.

CUT TO medium shot of Theo Epstein stepping out of the shadows dressed in a black trenchcoat and eye patch.

THEO EPSTEIN

I'm here to talk to you about the Avenger initiative.

RYAN DEMPSTER

Did somebody call Captain America?

THEO EPSTEIN

Why must you kill the mood EVERY TIME?!

***

I'm 95 percent sure that's how it went down.

Hm. That had the cadence of a joke.

But there's yet another place Maddon can put Zobrist to get optimal value from his skillset and in the process make Kyle Schwarber's life a lot easier: Show choir choreographer sixth.

What?

Fowler

Heyward

Rizzo

Bryant

Schwarber

(Incidentally, if you enter this line-up into MLB'16 The Show, you unlock the ability to end each at bat with the phrase "FINISH HIM." Which is especially intimidating coming from the voice of Pat Hughes.)

Yeah yeah yeah, funny man. Where's that BP Wrigleyville trademark arrogance?

This is the kind of advantage the Cubs can gain if they properly utilize Zobrist and Heyward.

Getting Zobrist and Heyward at bats at different parts of the line-up is not only a strength, it's essential for the Cubs to get the most out of their offense this year.

That's the stuff. "Not only is it smart to listen to MEEEEE, it's essential." Maddon must be thrilled he has his own free baseball think tank to help him with all these brain-busting decisions.

Ken Schultz is a stand-up comedian currently living in New York City.

Now that's funny.

Also can't help but notice BP:W has copied Al and hired their own shitty comedian a la Danny Rockett.

[World's #1 Astros Fan]

So how are things over at BP Wrigleyville?

INTERIOR of Dexter Fowler's living room. Fowler is on the speaker phone with his agent.

CASEY CLOSE

So it looks like 3 years, 33 million is the best Angelos is gonna do.

DEXTER FOWLER

I guess that's what I'll have to go with. There aren't any other offers?

CASEY CLOSE

None that I'm aware of ...

OFFSCREEN VOICE

I wouldn't be so sure of that.

CUT TO medium shot of Theo Epstein stepping out of the shadows dressed in a black trenchcoat and eye patch.

THEO EPSTEIN

I'm here to talk to you about the Avenger initiative.

RYAN DEMPSTER

Did somebody call Captain America?

THEO EPSTEIN

Why must you kill the mood EVERY TIME?!

***

I'm 95 percent sure that's how it went down.

Hm. That had the cadence of a joke.

But there's yet another place Maddon can put Zobrist to get optimal value from his skillset and in the process make Kyle Schwarber's life a lot easier: Show choir choreographer sixth.

What?

Fowler

Heyward

Rizzo

Bryant

Schwarber

(Incidentally, if you enter this line-up into MLB'16 The Show, you unlock the ability to end each at bat with the phrase "FINISH HIM." Which is especially intimidating coming from the voice of Pat Hughes.)

Yeah yeah yeah, funny man. Where's that BP Wrigleyville trademark arrogance?

This is the kind of advantage the Cubs can gain if they properly utilize Zobrist and Heyward.

Getting Zobrist and Heyward at bats at different parts of the line-up is not only a strength, it's essential for the Cubs to get the most out of their offense this year.

That's the stuff. "Not only is it smart to listen to MEEEEE, it's essential." Maddon must be thrilled he has his own free baseball think tank to help him with all these brain-busting decisions.

Ken Schultz is a stand-up comedian currently living in New York City.

Now that's funny.

Also can't help but notice BP:W has copied Al and hired their own shitty comedian a la Danny Rockett.

Sounds like Ken Schultz is stealing Alex Kaseberg's bit.

[Shooter]

So how are things over at BP Wrigleyville?

INTERIOR of Dexter Fowler's living room. Fowler is on the speaker phone with his agent.

CASEY CLOSE

So it looks like 3 years, 33 million is the best Angelos is gonna do.

DEXTER FOWLER

I guess that's what I'll have to go with. There aren't any other offers?

CASEY CLOSE

None that I'm aware of ...

OFFSCREEN VOICE

I wouldn't be so sure of that.

CUT TO medium shot of Theo Epstein stepping out of the shadows dressed in a black trenchcoat and eye patch.

THEO EPSTEIN

I'm here to talk to you about the Avenger initiative.

RYAN DEMPSTER

Did somebody call Captain America?

THEO EPSTEIN

Why must you kill the mood EVERY TIME?!

***

I'm 95 percent sure that's how it went down.

Hm. That had the cadence of a joke.

But there's yet another place Maddon can put Zobrist to get optimal value from his skillset and in the process make Kyle Schwarber's life a lot easier: Show choir choreographer sixth.

What?

Fowler

Heyward

Rizzo

Bryant

Schwarber

(Incidentally, if you enter this line-up into MLB'16 The Show, you unlock the ability to end each at bat with the phrase "FINISH HIM." Which is especially intimidating coming from the voice of Pat Hughes.)

Yeah yeah yeah, funny man. Where's that BP Wrigleyville trademark arrogance?

This is the kind of advantage the Cubs can gain if they properly utilize Zobrist and Heyward.

Getting Zobrist and Heyward at bats at different parts of the line-up is not only a strength, it's essential for the Cubs to get the most out of their offense this year.

That's the stuff. "Not only is it smart to listen to MEEEEE, it's essential." Maddon must be thrilled he has his own free baseball think tank to help him with all these brain-busting decisions.

Ken Schultz is a stand-up comedian currently living in New York City.

Now that's funny.

Also can't help but notice BP:W has copied Al and hired their own shitty comedian a la Danny Rockett.

Sounds like Ken Schultz is stealing Alex Kaseberg's bit.

Notice it doesn't say working in New York.

[Slaky]

So how are things over at BP Wrigleyville?

INTERIOR of Dexter Fowler's living room. Fowler is on the speaker phone with his agent.

CASEY CLOSE

So it looks like 3 years, 33 million is the best Angelos is gonna do.

DEXTER FOWLER

I guess that's what I'll have to go with. There aren't any other offers?

CASEY CLOSE

None that I'm aware of ...

OFFSCREEN VOICE

I wouldn't be so sure of that.

CUT TO medium shot of Theo Epstein stepping out of the shadows dressed in a black trenchcoat and eye patch.

THEO EPSTEIN

I'm here to talk to you about the Avenger initiative.

RYAN DEMPSTER

Did somebody call Captain America?

THEO EPSTEIN

Why must you kill the mood EVERY TIME?!

***

I'm 95 percent sure that's how it went down.

Hm. That had the cadence of a joke.

But there's yet another place Maddon can put Zobrist to get optimal value from his skillset and in the process make Kyle Schwarber's life a lot easier: Show choir choreographer sixth.

What?

Fowler

Heyward

Rizzo

Bryant

Schwarber

(Incidentally, if you enter this line-up into MLB'16 The Show, you unlock the ability to end each at bat with the phrase "FINISH HIM." Which is especially intimidating coming from the voice of Pat Hughes.)

Yeah yeah yeah, funny man. Where's that BP Wrigleyville trademark arrogance?

This is the kind of advantage the Cubs can gain if they properly utilize Zobrist and Heyward.

Getting Zobrist and Heyward at bats at different parts of the line-up is not only a strength, it's essential for the Cubs to get the most out of their offense this year.

That's the stuff. "Not only is it smart to listen to MEEEEE, it's essential." Maddon must be thrilled he has his own free baseball think tank to help him with all these brain-busting decisions.

Ken Schultz is a stand-up comedian currently living in New York City.

Now that's funny.

Also can't help but notice BP:W has copied Al and hired their own shitty comedian a la Danny Rockett.

I just read through his twitter feed. Definitely channeling Kaseberg.

[Saul Goodman]

The season is ruined because the Cubs and especially shitty tactician Joe Maddon are racists

[SKO]

The season is ruined because the Cubs and especially shitty tactician Joe Maddon are racists

I actually think that article was really well-written and nuanced and fairly easy on Maddon. It gave him the benefit of the doubt and mentioned Kawasaki gave his consent to the whole thing, but it did question whether the whole culture of how teams treat Japanese players is still a little off-base, which I think is a fair question.

I mean if we heard about the Cardinals playing "Turning Japanese" and "Kung Fu Fighting" with their lone Asian player do you really think we'd let it slide?

[Eli]

The season is ruined because the Cubs and especially shitty tactician Joe Maddon are racists

I actually think that article was really well-written and nuanced and fairly easy on Maddon. It gave him the benefit of the doubt and mentioned Kawasaki gave his consent to the whole thing, but it did question whether the whole culture of how teams treat Japanese players is still a little off-base, which I think is a fair question.

I mean if we heard about the Cardinals playing "Turning Japanese" and "Kung Fu Fighting" with their lone Asian player do you really think we'd let it slide?

Maddon's a registered Republican and is always talking about personal responsibility. Now he's going on about how things are too politically correct. How long until his Trump endorsement? smdh.

[SKO]

The season is ruined because the Cubs and especially shitty tactician Joe Maddon are racists

I actually think that article was really well-written and nuanced and fairly easy on Maddon. It gave him the benefit of the doubt and mentioned Kawasaki gave his consent to the whole thing, but it did question whether the whole culture of how teams treat Japanese players is still a little off-base, which I think is a fair question.

I mean if we heard about the Cardinals playing "Turning Japanese" and "Kung Fu Fighting" with their lone Asian player do you really think we'd let it slide?

Maddon's a registered Republican and is always talking about personal responsibility. Now he's going on about how things are too politically correct. How long until his Trump endorsement? smdh.

I have to imagine the Cubs are image-conscious enough to have emphasized to everyone that they should avoid expressing political views during this time. At least I hope so.

[Eli]

The season is ruined because the Cubs and especially shitty tactician Joe Maddon are racists

I actually think that article was really well-written and nuanced and fairly easy on Maddon. It gave him the benefit of the doubt and mentioned Kawasaki gave his consent to the whole thing, but it did question whether the whole culture of how teams treat Japanese players is still a little off-base, which I think is a fair question.

I mean if we heard about the Cardinals playing "Turning Japanese" and "Kung Fu Fighting" with their lone Asian player do you really think we'd let it slide?

Maddon's a registered Republican and is always talking about personal responsibility. Now he's going on about how things are too politically correct. How long until his Trump endorsement? smdh.

I have to imagine the Cubs are image-conscious enough to have emphasized to everyone that they should avoid expressing political views during this time. At least I hope so.

I don't actually think he's a Trump supporter. He's probably more annoyed that Dr. Rand Paul's campaign didn't take off.

[SKO]

The season is ruined because the Cubs and especially shitty tactician Joe Maddon are racists

I actually think that article was really well-written and nuanced and fairly easy on Maddon. It gave him the benefit of the doubt and mentioned Kawasaki gave his consent to the whole thing, but it did question whether the whole culture of how teams treat Japanese players is still a little off-base, which I think is a fair question.

I mean if we heard about the Cardinals playing "Turning Japanese" and "Kung Fu Fighting" with their lone Asian player do you really think we'd let it slide?

Maddon's a registered Republican and is always talking about personal responsibility. Now he's going on about how things are too politically correct. How long until his Trump endorsement? smdh.

I have to imagine the Cubs are image-conscious enough to have emphasized to everyone that they should avoid expressing political views during this time. At least I hope so.

I don't actually think he's a Trump supporter. He's probably more annoyed that Dr. Rand Paul's campaign didn't take off.

I don't either, but I'm also not interested in finding out either way, and I hope Epstink has sent that memo out to everyone.

[CBStew]

The season is ruined because the Cubs and especially shitty tactician Joe Maddon are racists

I actually think that article was really well-written and nuanced and fairly easy on Maddon. It gave him the benefit of the doubt and mentioned Kawasaki gave his consent to the whole thing, but it did question whether the whole culture of how teams treat Japanese players is still a little off-base, which I think is a fair question.

I mean if we heard about the Cardinals playing "Turning Japanese" and "Kung Fu Fighting" with their lone Asian player do you really think we'd let it slide?

Maddon's a registered Republican and is always talking about personal responsibility. Now he's going on about how things are too politically correct. How long until his Trump endorsement? smdh.

I have to imagine the Cubs are image-conscious enough to have emphasized to everyone that they should avoid expressing political views during this time. At least I hope so.

I don't actually think he's a Trump supporter. He's probably more annoyed that Dr. Rand Paul's campaign didn't take off.

I don't either, but I'm also not interested in finding out either way, and I hope Epstink has sent that memo out to everyone.

Last time I checked it was not illegal to vote Republican, (not that I would, or ever have).  From my experience most professional athletes are conservative and are in the higher tax brackets.  So it follows that they identify with politicians on the right (not in the sense of correct) side of the political spectrum.  I don't admire them because of their political acumen, but rather for their athletic ability.