Totally Unreadable

[Quality Start Machine]

Jesse Rogers appoints himself head of the panic patrol.

Jesse says the Cubs need to strike out the right way

No one is saying Soler needs to bunt, but with two strikes, putting the ball in play should be paramount.

"No one is saying bunt, except for me -- I am saying bunt."

And if Soler had bunted foul, Jesse would have been there to tell us how terrible an idea it was to take the bat out of Soler's hands.

[Saul Goodman]

Revisionist history from annoying columnist Jon Greenberg:

Renteria is a sunny, optimistic kind of manager, a rah-rah guy who walks around back-slapping and hand-clapping. He was always upbeat in his one season with the Cubs, even though everyone knew he was in a hopeless situation. He was a placeholder there, someone to bridge the gap between Dale Sveum and Joe Maddon. What is he on the South Side?

Everyone knew it was hopeless and he was bridging the gap to Maddon? The same Maddon who became available when his boss left after Rick got done managing the season? Okay. Why didn't Jon share his clear-eyed foresight with us at the time?

[Chuck to Chuck]

Revisionist history from annoying columnist Jon Greenberg:

Renteria is a sunny, optimistic kind of manager, a rah-rah guy who walks around back-slapping and hand-clapping. He was always upbeat in his one season with the Cubs, even though everyone knew he was in a hopeless situation. He was a placeholder there, someone to bridge the gap between Dale Sveum and Joe Maddon. What is he on the South Side?

Everyone knew it was hopeless and he was bridging the gap to Maddon? The same Maddon who became available when his boss left after Rick got done managing the season? Okay. Why didn't Jon share his clear-eyed foresight with us at the time?

I don't think many people believed Ricky would be managing the team by 2016. I don't think anyone thought it would be Maddon when Ricky came in, but did anyone here think Ricky was more than a 1 to 2 year stopgap?

[Oleg]

Revisionist history from annoying columnist Jon Greenberg:

Renteria is a sunny, optimistic kind of manager, a rah-rah guy who walks around back-slapping and hand-clapping. He was always upbeat in his one season with the Cubs, even though everyone knew he was in a hopeless situation. He was a placeholder there, someone to bridge the gap between Dale Sveum and Joe Maddon. What is he on the South Side?

Everyone knew it was hopeless and he was bridging the gap to Maddon? The same Maddon who became available when his boss left after Rick got done managing the season? Okay. Why didn't Jon share his clear-eyed foresight with us at the time?

I don't think many people believed Ricky would be managing the team by 2016. I don't think anyone thought it would be Maddon when Ricky came in, but did anyone here think Ricky was more than a 1 to 2 year stopgap?

Probably Ricky did.

[SKO]

Revisionist history from annoying columnist Jon Greenberg:

Renteria is a sunny, optimistic kind of manager, a rah-rah guy who walks around back-slapping and hand-clapping. He was always upbeat in his one season with the Cubs, even though everyone knew he was in a hopeless situation. He was a placeholder there, someone to bridge the gap between Dale Sveum and Joe Maddon. What is he on the South Side?

Everyone knew it was hopeless and he was bridging the gap to Maddon? The same Maddon who became available when his boss left after Rick got done managing the season? Okay. Why didn't Jon share his clear-eyed foresight with us at the time?

I don't think many people believed Ricky would be managing the team by 2016. I don't think anyone thought it would be Maddon when Ricky came in, but did anyone here think Ricky was more than a 1 to 2 year stopgap?

Yeah I took that sentence as more awkward phrasing than anything. Most of us thought Ricky was just brought in to be a nice guy who would help the Cubs young guys since Sveum had started actively hindering their development. I certainly never expected him to make it as far as 2016. I think Jon just used "Joe Maddon" as shorthand for The Inevitable Guy Who Would Manage the Team When the Games Mattered Again.

[Wheezer]

Somebody tell Sullivan to get a proofreader. It would be a shame if his laptop needed more forensics at Shitty's, if you get my drift.

[Saul Goodman]

Somebody tell Sullivan to get a proofreader. It would be a shame if his laptop needed more forensics at Shitty's, if you get my drift.

Someone give Bleacher Nation (and The Athletic, honestly) the exact same advice, because this is just egregious and similar errors can be found in every story.

They're overall rating in 2016 (5.00) and percent increase (39%), then, ranks ninth and first respectively in all of baseball.

[SKO]

Vlahos wrote this: http://www.pjstar.com/news/20161012/nick-in-am-for-cubs-maybe-this-time-will-be-different

And still managed to spend most of it defending his anti-Theo ramblings:

Epstein and his minions stripped the Cubs' roster and rebuilt it, mostly through internal player development. That resulted in some horrible seasons.
Some fans praised the approach and said it was long overdue. Others, including Nick in the Morning, suggested a big-market, big-league franchise should not be acting like a low-budget outfit.
They had seen empty results from previous general managers with great reputations and/or plans for grandeur (Dallas Green, Andy MacPhail or Jim Hendry, anyone?). They had seen ownership that over-promised and under-delivered (Tribune Co.). They had seen field managers who had won major prizes elsewhere (Dusty Baker and Lou Piniella, among others) but seemed to crack under the unique pressure the Cubs' position provided."

They did, despite jangling the nerves of many of their battle-scarred fans. Others maintained this Cubs team and this front-office regime weren't like previous ones.
Maybe they were right. Maybe Nick in the Morning was wrong. Search the internet and you'll see plenty of our previous opinions about it.
Is Epstein's plan a success? Not yet. For that to be true, the Cubs under his guidance have to do something the others haven't. Advance to the World Series and it's possible. Win one and all doubt will be erased.

You know, if they win this thing finally, a small, microscopic piece of me might feel glad even for a guy like Yellon, who for all of his flaws lives and dies with this team. But this fuck, who'd rather be right about hating the GM of his own team rather than actually see them win the fucking thing? Fuck him.

[Quality Start Machine]

Vlahos wrote this: http://www.pjstar.com/news/20161012/nick-in-am-for-cubs-maybe-this-time-will-be-different

And still managed to spend most of it defending his anti-Theo ramblings:

Epstein and his minions stripped the Cubs' roster and rebuilt it, mostly through internal player development. That resulted in some horrible seasons.
Some fans praised the approach and said it was long overdue. Others, including Nick in the Morning, suggested a big-market, big-league franchise should not be acting like a low-budget outfit.
They had seen empty results from previous general managers with great reputations and/or plans for grandeur (Dallas Green, Andy MacPhail or Jim Hendry, anyone?). They had seen ownership that over-promised and under-delivered (Tribune Co.). They had seen field managers who had won major prizes elsewhere (Dusty Baker and Lou Piniella, among others) but seemed to crack under the unique pressure the Cubs' position provided."

They did, despite jangling the nerves of many of their battle-scarred fans. Others maintained this Cubs team and this front-office regime weren't like previous ones.
Maybe they were right. Maybe Nick in the Morning was wrong. Search the internet and you'll see plenty of our previous opinions about it.
Is Epstein's plan a success? Not yet. For that to be true, the Cubs under his guidance have to do something the others haven't. Advance to the World Series and it's possible. Win one and all doubt will be erased.

You know, if they win this thing finally, a small, microscopic piece of me might feel glad even for a guy like Yellon, who for all of his flaws lives and dies with this team. But this fuck, who'd rather be right about hating the GM of his own team rather than actually see them win the fucking thing? Fuck him.

Curbstomp whatever piece of you that could have any possibility of good feelings for Alvin.

[Canadouche]

Vlahos wrote this: http://www.pjstar.com/news/20161012/nick-in-am-for-cubs-maybe-this-time-will-be-different

And still managed to spend most of it defending his anti-Theo ramblings:

Epstein and his minions stripped the Cubs' roster and rebuilt it, mostly through internal player development. That resulted in some horrible seasons.
Some fans praised the approach and said it was long overdue. Others, including Nick in the Morning, suggested a big-market, big-league franchise should not be acting like a low-budget outfit.
They had seen empty results from previous general managers with great reputations and/or plans for grandeur (Dallas Green, Andy MacPhail or Jim Hendry, anyone?). They had seen ownership that over-promised and under-delivered (Tribune Co.). They had seen field managers who had won major prizes elsewhere (Dusty Baker and Lou Piniella, among others) but seemed to crack under the unique pressure the Cubs' position provided."

They did, despite jangling the nerves of many of their battle-scarred fans. Others maintained this Cubs team and this front-office regime weren't like previous ones.
Maybe they were right. Maybe Nick in the Morning was wrong. Search the internet and you'll see plenty of our previous opinions about it.
Is Epstein's plan a success? Not yet. For that to be true, the Cubs under his guidance have to do something the others haven't. Advance to the World Series and it's possible. Win one and all doubt will be erased.

You know, if they win this thing finally, a small, microscopic piece of me might feel glad even for a guy like Yellon, who for all of his flaws lives and dies with this team. But this fuck, who'd rather be right about hating the GM of his own team rather than actually see them win the fucking thing? Fuck him.

Curbstomp whatever piece of you that could have any possibility of good feelings for Alvin.

A Cubs World Series is bigger than any of us. It's like coming together to fight a war. You might be a racist POS, but when the war's won, you're celebrating with anybody who's around you, skin color be damned. If the Cubs win the World Series, that day is Al Yellon Amnesty Day.

I'm sure the peace would quickly fall apart sometime after.

[Quality Start Machine]

Vlahos wrote this: http://www.pjstar.com/news/20161012/nick-in-am-for-cubs-maybe-this-time-will-be-different

And still managed to spend most of it defending his anti-Theo ramblings:

Epstein and his minions stripped the Cubs' roster and rebuilt it, mostly through internal player development. That resulted in some horrible seasons.
Some fans praised the approach and said it was long overdue. Others, including Nick in the Morning, suggested a big-market, big-league franchise should not be acting like a low-budget outfit.
They had seen empty results from previous general managers with great reputations and/or plans for grandeur (Dallas Green, Andy MacPhail or Jim Hendry, anyone?). They had seen ownership that over-promised and under-delivered (Tribune Co.). They had seen field managers who had won major prizes elsewhere (Dusty Baker and Lou Piniella, among others) but seemed to crack under the unique pressure the Cubs' position provided."

They did, despite jangling the nerves of many of their battle-scarred fans. Others maintained this Cubs team and this front-office regime weren't like previous ones.
Maybe they were right. Maybe Nick in the Morning was wrong. Search the internet and you'll see plenty of our previous opinions about it.
Is Epstein's plan a success? Not yet. For that to be true, the Cubs under his guidance have to do something the others haven't. Advance to the World Series and it's possible. Win one and all doubt will be erased.

You know, if they win this thing finally, a small, microscopic piece of me might feel glad even for a guy like Yellon, who for all of his flaws lives and dies with this team. But this fuck, who'd rather be right about hating the GM of his own team rather than actually see them win the fucking thing? Fuck him.

Curbstomp whatever piece of you that could have any possibility of good feelings for Alvin.

A Cubs World Series is bigger than any of us. It's like coming together to fight a war. You might be a racist POS, but when the war's won, you're celebrating with anybody who's around you, skin color be damned. If the Cubs win the World Series, that day is Al Yellon Amnesty Day.

I'm sure the peace would quickly fall apart sometime after.

It would only last for as long as it took anybody to read his shitty blog and see that he managed to make it all about him.

[SKO]

This has got to be the most pretentious, nonsensical article written yet about the Cubs: https://theringer.com/god-is-dead-and-so-is-evenyearmagic-d2b4b85eac6a#.pe7cdauaf

But if they win the World Series, it means that if a franchise has enough money and a national brand and hires the best front office and the best manager and nails every high draft pick and every high-profile free-agent signing, it'll win, no matter what curses stand in its way.

Maddon and Theo Epstein breaking the 108-year hex on the Cubs would feel like the apotheosis of sabermetrics, the final triumph of empiricism over hokum, and proof of concept that there's no bogeyman we can't outsmart.

The Epstein coalition isn't the first to take on this Apollo program of metaphysical conquest, but we've accepted as a baseball culture that it's a realistic possibility that they'll succeed. To assault the biggest spiritual curse in American sports and even contemplate victory before it's in hand feels hubristic, a rebuke to our shared history and mythology on the scale of the Tower of Babel. Without that mythology, baseball is merely throwing darts at a bell curve — it's Yahtzee with a better literary tradition.

I forgot that baseball isn't a sport, it's apparently a play by Aeschylus, and GMs who dare build great teams should be struck down for flying too close to the sun, or something.

[Saul Goodman]

This has got to be the most pretentious, nonsensical article written yet about the Cubs: https://theringer.com/god-is-dead-and-so-is-evenyearmagic-d2b4b85eac6a#.pe7cdauaf

But if they win the World Series, it means that if a franchise has enough money and a national brand and hires the best front office and the best manager and nails every high draft pick and every high-profile free-agent signing, it'll win, no matter what curses stand in its way.

Maddon and Theo Epstein breaking the 108-year hex on the Cubs would feel like the apotheosis of sabermetrics, the final triumph of empiricism over hokum, and proof of concept that there's no bogeyman we can't outsmart.

The Epstein coalition isn't the first to take on this Apollo program of metaphysical conquest, but we've accepted as a baseball culture that it's a realistic possibility that they'll succeed. To assault the biggest spiritual curse in American sports and even contemplate victory before it's in hand feels hubristic, a rebuke to our shared history and mythology on the scale of the Tower of Babel. Without that mythology, baseball is merely throwing darts at a bell curve — it's Yahtzee with a better literary tradition.

I forgot that baseball isn't a sport, it's apparently a play by Aeschylus, and GMs who dare build great teams should be struck down for flying too close to the sun, or something.

Has anyone checked in on Wendy Thurm? I need her to explain why the Giants are still the better team and whose fault this is.

[morpheus]

This has got to be the most pretentious, nonsensical article written yet about the Cubs: https://theringer.com/god-is-dead-and-so-is-evenyearmagic-d2b4b85eac6a#.pe7cdauaf

But if they win the World Series, it means that if a franchise has enough money and a national brand and hires the best front office and the best manager and nails every high draft pick and every high-profile free-agent signing, it'll win, no matter what curses stand in its way.

Maddon and Theo Epstein breaking the 108-year hex on the Cubs would feel like the apotheosis of sabermetrics, the final triumph of empiricism over hokum, and proof of concept that there's no bogeyman we can't outsmart.

The Epstein coalition isn't the first to take on this Apollo program of metaphysical conquest, but we've accepted as a baseball culture that it's a realistic possibility that they'll succeed. To assault the biggest spiritual curse in American sports and even contemplate victory before it's in hand feels hubristic, a rebuke to our shared history and mythology on the scale of the Tower of Babel. Without that mythology, baseball is merely throwing darts at a bell curve — it's Yahtzee with a better literary tradition.

I forgot that baseball isn't a sport, it's apparently a play by Aeschylus, and GMs who dare build great teams should be struck down for flying too close to the sun, or something.

Has anyone checked in on Wendy Thurm? I need her to explain why the Giants are still the better team and whose fault this is.

Holy shit, I just went to look at her tweets and she's blocked me.  I don't even know why.  I don't even recall ever reading her tweets, let alone interacting with her in such a way as to get blocked.

[Quality Start Machine]

This has got to be the most pretentious, nonsensical article written yet about the Cubs: https://theringer.com/god-is-dead-and-so-is-evenyearmagic-d2b4b85eac6a#.pe7cdauaf

But if they win the World Series, it means that if a franchise has enough money and a national brand and hires the best front office and the best manager and nails every high draft pick and every high-profile free-agent signing, it'll win, no matter what curses stand in its way.

Maddon and Theo Epstein breaking the 108-year hex on the Cubs would feel like the apotheosis of sabermetrics, the final triumph of empiricism over hokum, and proof of concept that there's no bogeyman we can't outsmart.

The Epstein coalition isn't the first to take on this Apollo program of metaphysical conquest, but we've accepted as a baseball culture that it's a realistic possibility that they'll succeed. To assault the biggest spiritual curse in American sports and even contemplate victory before it's in hand feels hubristic, a rebuke to our shared history and mythology on the scale of the Tower of Babel. Without that mythology, baseball is merely throwing darts at a bell curve — it's Yahtzee with a better literary tradition.

I forgot that baseball isn't a sport, it's apparently a play by Aeschylus, and GMs who dare build great teams should be struck down for flying too close to the sun, or something.

Has anyone checked in on Wendy Thurm? I need her to explain why the Giants are still the better team and whose fault this is.

Holy shit, I just went to look at her tweets and she's blocked me.  I don't even know why.  I don't even recall ever reading her tweets, let alone interacting with her in such a way as to get blocked.

You're not missing anything. Not a lot of salt there.