Pick Your Poison

[SKO]

So glad I asked this question.

[Internet Apex]

This will certainly make tonight's game less hateable. Thanks again, TJ.

[Armchair_QB]

Game 7 of the Yellon Cup was supposed to feature Kerry Wood and Greg Maddux one more time. You might remember that Wood and Maddux last faced each other in a deciding playoff game on Oct. 3, 1998. Wood went five innings and gave up just a run pitching in his first game since August and his last game until May 2000. Maddux gave up two runs in seven-plus innings, and the Braves clinched the NLDS. There would be no rematch. Wood came in with back spasms, so he'd be replaced by Scott Downs. As for Maddux, he finally got Ned Colletti to part with Cesar Izturis, so he was en route to Los Angeles and freedom from the Cubs' clubhouse. Baker went with the miraculously healthy Angel Guzman.

1   Eric Young   2B
2   Ricky Gutierrez   SS
3   Sammy Sosa   RF
4   Mark Grace   1B
5   Glenallen Hill   LF
6   Shane Andrews   3B
7   Damon Buford   CF
8   Joe Girardi   C
9      Scott Downs   P

1   Juan Pierre   CF
2   Cesar Izturis   SS
3   Derrek Lee   1B
4   Aramis Ramirez   3B
5   Jacque Jones   RF
6   Henry Blanco   C
7   Matt Murton   LF
8   Ryan Theriot   2B
9      Guzman         P

2006 Cubs 8, 2000 Cubs 7

Chip Caray didn't even have a chance to joke about Steve Stone not picking up the check at Harry Caray's on Kinzie when Glenallen Hill BELTED a Guzman offering onto Waveland. The 2006 Cubs were able to pull within a run on Jock's solo shot the opposite way, and a Theriot triple, driving in Hank Whie. Alas, Guzman again faced Glenallen Hill, and Mr. HGH came up with another three-run homer to left-center to make it 6-2 in the top of the third.

Baker's Battling Twenty-oh-sixers chiseled a run off the deficit in the fourth with another RBI by Theriot, this time on a single to right that drove in Murton. Hill made it a hat trick with a homer into the left-field basket off of Glendon Rusch to make it 7-3.

The 2006 Cubs managed another run in the bottom of the seventh when Theriot lead off with a double. After pinch-hitter Phil Nevin struck out, Juan Pierre touched Todd Van Poppel for a hard ground ball that got just past Eric Young.

Tim Worrell got the call to start the bottom of the eighth. Back-to-back singles by Aramis Ramirez and Jock Jones started the inning. After Henry Blanco lined out to Andrews at third, Ginger's single to right drove home Aramis Ramirez and got Baylor to bring in Steve Rain, who was promptly greeted by another Theriort RBI single.

Not ever seeing a rally he didn't like to kill, Baker brings in FFF Bynym to pinch hit for Fourthmeal. He lines out to third and Pierre strikes out and the Y2Kers enter the ninth with a one-run lead.

Just as a young Slak is cursing his TV and threatening to Aardsma himself, Baker brings in the young right-hander to pitch the ninth and keep the game close. Aardsma, fans Sleeves and then walks Girardi. O Henry, pinch-hitting for Rain, grounds out to Lee at first, sending Girardi to second. An Aardma wild pitch sends Girardi to third, but Eric Young kills any chance at insurance runs with a fly ball to left.

Of course, it wasn't time to worry for the Y2Kers as it was Aguilera-time. Aguilera immediately retires the Cubs' new prize, acquired from Los Angeles for the Hall of Famer. Izturis watches strike three go by.

Derrek Lee promptly singles to right, bringing up the dangerous Aramis Ramirez, who put his warning track power on display to make the second out of the inning.

This brought up Jacque Jones, whom Chuck called "Jacqueshit" earlier this thread. Huey is in a catatonic fit, cursing, blustering, shaking impaling himself with his plastic beer cups, calling his daughter and demanding she root for the Toledo Mud Hens, anyone but the Cubs.

Chuck is writing a smug blog post about Jacqueshit. When...




F


Y


C!

The 2006ers win the Yellon Cup. Al Yellon, of course was on hand, and is seen congratulating the player who best personifies the spirit of the champs:



(The 2006 Cubs were 1-3 in games Barrett started).

There you have it. 2006 Cubs, maybe a little more talented. 2000 Cubs definitely less hateable?

There are no winners in a series like this.

But, you sir, are a genius!

[Saul Goodman]

Inspired work.  Did you start writing a 3000-word Yellon post about the series only to give up when you couldn't find any pictures taken from the blimp and rooftops to illustrate it?

[Slaky]

And now the kudos shall flow.

That's what makes this board great.

[SKO]

And now the kudos shall flow.

That's what makes this board great.

T.J. Brown? I agree.

[Slaky]

And now the kudos shall flow.

That's what makes this board great.

T.J. Brown? I agree.

Pretty much. Him and Stew, really.

[Bort]

Goddamn, TJ. You get the longest slow clap I've ever given.

[Waco Kid]

Outstanding work here by TJ.

[Tonker]

Fuck it.  I had fifty quid on the 2000 Cubs.

[morpheus]

A looooooooong.....slooooowwwww.......clap for TJ for that inspired piece of work. 

The only site, indeed.

Share this thread with your friends, Stew.

THI!

[R-V]

TJ wins the tubes. Between this gem:

"Huey is in a catatonic fit, cursing, blustering, shaking impaling himself with his plastic beer cups, calling his daughter and demanding she root for the Toledo Mud Hens, anyone but the Cubs."

And the series ending with an epic FYC, what more could a reader want?

[SKO]

TJ wins the tubes. Between this gem:

"Huey is in a catatonic fit, cursing, blustering, shaking impaling himself with his plastic beer cups, calling his daughter and demanding she root for the Toledo Mud Hens, anyone but the Cubs."

And the series ending with an epic FYC, what more could a reader want?

Yeah, the descriptions of Al, Young Slak, Chuck and Huey are the best. I do wonder why Slak and Huebert were both rooting only for the '06 version. We must never let this thread get ratto'd.

[Chuck to Chuck]

And the series ending with an epic FYC, what more could a reader want?

The fix was in.

[Armchair_QB]

Here's a game that will make you laugh (or possibly cry).

http://www.sporcle.com/games/htimsetan/cubs_opening_day_lineups