Marlon Byrd: Worst No. 3 Hitter in Baseball

[Saul Goodman]

Wait. Pancakes?

[Eli]

Matt Diaz hit third for the Pirates last night.

[Internet Apex]

Wait. Pancakes?

You don't want to know. In the Hall of Retarded Desipio Nicknames, this is written on the doormat.

[Bort]

Wait. Pancakes?

You don't want to know. In the Hall of Retarded Desipio Nicknames, this is written on the doormat.

Which is next to the door knocker to the shoutbox that's engraved "TYLENOL GLAVIN"

[R-V]

Wait. Pancakes?

You don't want to know. In the Hall of Retarded Desipio Nicknames, this is written on the doormat.

Which is next to the door knocker to the shoutbox that's engraved "TYLENOL GLAVIN"

Pancakes are what you make for breakfast when you're all out of garbanzo beans.

[World's #1 Astros Fan]

Wait. Pancakes?

You don't want to know. In the Hall of Retarded Desipio Nicknames, this is written on the doormat.

Still asshurt about that one, I see.

[SKO]

Pen's beloved O Dawg is a pretty bad #3 hitter.

Byrd and Soto have been bad, and Pena and Colvin have been awful. But...one game out of first, dogdens.

Shut your goddamn mouth. .929 OPS in the last week. Soto, also known as THE BEST OFFENSIVE CATCHER IN BASEBALL, 2010™ is going to be just fine. Leave him out of this.

[R-V]

Pen's beloved O Dawg is a pretty bad #3 hitter.

Byrd and Soto have been bad, and Pena and Colvin have been awful. But...one game out of first, dogdens.

Shut your goddamn mouth. .929 OPS in the last week. Soto, also known as THE BEST OFFENSIVE CATCHER IN BASEBALL, 2010™ is going to be just fine. Leave him out of this.

If you take away all the at-bats in which Derrek Lee had hits, he had a terrible season in 2005.

Relax. I love Soto more than your mother loves you.

[SKO]

Pen's beloved O Dawg is a pretty bad #3 hitter.

Byrd and Soto have been bad, and Pena and Colvin have been awful. But...one game out of first, dogdens.

Shut your goddamn mouth. .929 OPS in the last week. Soto, also known as THE BEST OFFENSIVE CATCHER IN BASEBALL, 2010™ is going to be just fine. Leave him out of this.

If you take away all the at-bats in which Derrek Lee had hits, he had a terrible season in 2005.

Relax. I love Soto more than your mother loves you.

That's good. I don't tolerate Soto-hate. Mostly because I have compiled the following list of successful Cubs hitting prospects since the year of my birth:

SUCCESSFUL CUBS HITTING PROSPECTS SINCE 1988
1. Geovany Soto
2. Fucking Nobody.

[World's #1 Astros Fan]

Pen's beloved O Dawg is a pretty bad #3 hitter.

Byrd and Soto have been bad, and Pena and Colvin have been awful. But...one game out of first, dogdens.

Shut your goddamn mouth. .929 OPS in the last week. Soto, also known as THE BEST OFFENSIVE CATCHER IN BASEBALL, 2010™ is going to be just fine. Leave him out of this.

If you take away all the at-bats in which Derrek Lee had hits, he had a terrible season in 2005.

Relax. I love Soto more than your mother loves you.

That's good. I don't tolerate Soto-hate. Mostly because I have compiled the following list of successful Cubs hitting prospects since the year of my birth:

SUCCESSFUL CUBS HITTING PROSPECTS SINCE 1988
1. Geovany Soto
2. Fucking Nobody.

Why do you hate Starlin Castro, SKO?  WHY?!?!?!?!

[Yeti]

Pen's beloved O Dawg is a pretty bad #3 hitter.

Byrd and Soto have been bad, and Pena and Colvin have been awful. But...one game out of first, dogdens.

Shut your goddamn mouth. .929 OPS in the last week. Soto, also known as THE BEST OFFENSIVE CATCHER IN BASEBALL, 2010™ is going to be just fine. Leave him out of this.

If you take away all the at-bats in which Derrek Lee had hits, he had a terrible season in 2005.

Relax. I love Soto more than your mother loves you.

That's good. I don't tolerate Soto-hate. Mostly because I have compiled the following list of successful Cubs hitting prospects since the year of my birth:

SUCCESSFUL CUBS HITTING PROSPECTS SINCE 1988
1. Geovany Soto
2. Fucking Nobody.

What's up?

[SKO]

Pen's beloved O Dawg is a pretty bad #3 hitter.

Byrd and Soto have been bad, and Pena and Colvin have been awful. But...one game out of first, dogdens.

Shut your goddamn mouth. .929 OPS in the last week. Soto, also known as THE BEST OFFENSIVE CATCHER IN BASEBALL, 2010™ is going to be just fine. Leave him out of this.

If you take away all the at-bats in which Derrek Lee had hits, he had a terrible season in 2005.

Relax. I love Soto more than your mother loves you.

That's good. I don't tolerate Soto-hate. Mostly because I have compiled the following list of successful Cubs hitting prospects since the year of my birth:

SUCCESSFUL CUBS HITTING PROSPECTS SINCE 1988
1. Geovany Soto
2. Fucking Nobody.

STARLIN CASTRO

Right. The Kid is fucking amazing, but I thought it was generally held that you have to have more than one full successful season under your belt? Otherwise I'd have thrown in Jerome Walton or Rick Wilkins.

[Bort]

Pen's beloved O Dawg is a pretty bad #3 hitter.

Byrd and Soto have been bad, and Pena and Colvin have been awful. But...one game out of first, dogdens.

Shut your goddamn mouth. .929 OPS in the last week. Soto, also known as THE BEST OFFENSIVE CATCHER IN BASEBALL, 2010™ is going to be just fine. Leave him out of this.

If you take away all the at-bats in which Derrek Lee had hits, he had a terrible season in 2005.

Relax. I love Soto more than your mother loves you.

That's good. I don't tolerate Soto-hate. Mostly because I have compiled the following list of successful Cubs hitting prospects since the year of my birth:

SUCCESSFUL CUBS HITTING PROSPECTS SINCE 1988
1. Geovany Soto
2. Fucking Nobody.

What's up?

Nice try. Take your FACE like a man.

[Yeti]

Pen's beloved O Dawg is a pretty bad #3 hitter.

Byrd and Soto have been bad, and Pena and Colvin have been awful. But...one game out of first, dogdens.

Shut your goddamn mouth. .929 OPS in the last week. Soto, also known as THE BEST OFFENSIVE CATCHER IN BASEBALL, 2010™ is going to be just fine. Leave him out of this.

If you take away all the at-bats in which Derrek Lee had hits, he had a terrible season in 2005.

Relax. I love Soto more than your mother loves you.

That's good. I don't tolerate Soto-hate. Mostly because I have compiled the following list of successful Cubs hitting prospects since the year of my birth:

SUCCESSFUL CUBS HITTING PROSPECTS SINCE 1988
1. Geovany Soto
2. Fucking Nobody.

STARLIN CASTRO

Right. The Kid is fucking amazing, but I thought it was generally held that you have to have more than one full successful season under your belt? Otherwise I'd have thrown in Jerome Walton or Rick Wilkins.

So, Starlin is Jerome and Rick? Fuck, man

[World's #1 Astros Fan]

Pen's beloved O Dawg is a pretty bad #3 hitter.

Byrd and Soto have been bad, and Pena and Colvin have been awful. But...one game out of first, dogdens.

Shut your goddamn mouth. .929 OPS in the last week. Soto, also known as THE BEST OFFENSIVE CATCHER IN BASEBALL, 2010™ is going to be just fine. Leave him out of this.

If you take away all the at-bats in which Derrek Lee had hits, he had a terrible season in 2005.

Relax. I love Soto more than your mother loves you.

That's good. I don't tolerate Soto-hate. Mostly because I have compiled the following list of successful Cubs hitting prospects since the year of my birth:

SUCCESSFUL CUBS HITTING PROSPECTS SINCE 1988
1. Geovany Soto
2. Fucking Nobody.

STARLIN CASTRO

Right. The Kid is fucking amazing, but I thought it was generally held that you have to have more than one full successful season under your belt? Otherwise I'd have thrown in Jerome Walton or Rick Wilkins.

I think it's fair to jump the gun and declare Castro legit.  We all suspected Wilkins' '93 campaign was a fluke and when Jerome Walton showed up to Spring Training in 1990 looking like Fred "Rerun" Berry our expectations for him were suddenly lowered.  I'd be surprised AND shocked to see Castro fall off the earth now.  Show a little faith in the kid.