The Incredibly Unlikely Darwin Barney Splooge Thread

[SKO]

Might as well enjoy it while we can. Splooge for his 2 run homer in the first inning.

[Internet Apex]

Might as well enjoy it while we can. Splooge for his 2 run homer in the first inning.

I enjoyed it for about 2 minutes until my FF button caught up with the (insert shitty Illinois basketball player)ian performance by my guy Starlin. D'angelo Hall just called a radio station somewhere and called Starlin a clown. But D'angelo Hall is still a tard.

[Slaky]

I refuse to splooge for Asian Theriot.

[Yeti]

I refuse to splooge for Asian Theriot.

Thank you. I was just telling this to my stepdad on Sunday, and I said those exact words

[Internet Apex]

I refuse to splooge for Asian Theriot.

Thank you. I was just telling this to my stepdad on Sunday, and I said those exact words

I just read Andy Dolan's excellent post comparing Barney and Theriot and while I'm not even semi-hard for Barney, I do not hate him enough to label him an Asian Theriot. Yet.

[Tony]

I wouldn't have hated Theriot as much if stupid people didn't love him so much. There's no way the same stupid people fall in love with an Asian version is there? As long as he doesn't become a scrappy folk hero I can stay indifferent, which ain't that bad really.

[Bort]

I wouldn't have hated Theriot as much if stupid people didn't love him so much. There's no way the same stupid people fall in love with an Asian version is there? As long as he doesn't become a scrappy folk hero I can stay indifferent, which ain't that bad really.

I said the same thing last night. He's a middling player. I have no reason to hate middling players until idiots decide a team full of middling players is better than a team of excellent players.

[Tony]

I wouldn't have hated Theriot as much if stupid people didn't love him so much. There's no way the same stupid people fall in love with an Asian version is there? As long as he doesn't become a scrappy folk hero I can stay indifferent, which ain't that bad really.

I said the same thing last night. He's a middling player. I have no reason to hate middling players until idiots decide a team full of middling players is better than a team of excellent players.

Unfortunately, our fellow Cubbie fans are mostly idiots.

[Bort]

I wouldn't have hated Theriot as much if stupid people didn't love him so much. There's no way the same stupid people fall in love with an Asian version is there? As long as he doesn't become a scrappy folk hero I can stay indifferent, which ain't that bad really.

I said the same thing last night. He's a middling player. I have no reason to hate middling players until idiots decide a team full of middling players is better than a team of excellent players.

Unfortunately, our fellow Cubbie fans are mostly idiots.

Hence my hatred of pretty much every scrappy gritball the Cubs have signed in the last decade.

[PenPho]

I wouldn't have hated Theriot as much if stupid people didn't love him so much. There's no way the same stupid people fall in love with an Asian version is there? As long as he doesn't become a scrappy folk hero I can stay indifferent, which ain't that bad really.

I said the same thing last night. He's a middling player. I have no reason to hate middling players until idiots decide a team full of middling players is better than a team of excellent players.

Unfortunately, our fellow Cubbie fans are mostly idiots.

Hence my hatred of pretty much every scrappy gritball the Cubs have signed in the last decade.

This will all come together once we have the 40-Barney roster.

[Gilgamesh]

I wouldn't have hated Theriot as much if stupid people didn't love him so much. There's no way the same stupid people fall in love with an Asian version is there? As long as he doesn't become a scrappy folk hero I can stay indifferent, which ain't that bad really.

I said the same thing last night. He's a middling player. I have no reason to hate middling players until idiots decide a team full of middling players is better than a team of excellent players.

Unfortunately, our fellow Cubbie fans are mostly idiots.

Hence my hatred of pretty much every scrappy gritball the Cubs have signed in the last decade.

This will all come together once we have the 40-Barney roster.

Can the Cubs afford 40 purple, plush costumes?

[CBStew]

I wouldn't have hated Theriot as much if stupid people didn't love him so much. There's no way the same stupid people fall in love with an Asian version is there? As long as he doesn't become a scrappy folk hero I can stay indifferent, which ain't that bad really.

I said the same thing last night. He's a middling player. I have no reason to hate middling players until idiots decide a team full of middling players is better than a team of excellent players.

Unfortunately, our fellow Cubbie fans are mostly idiots.

Hence my hatred of pretty much every scrappy gritball the Cubs have signed in the last decade.

This will all come together once we have the 40-Barney roster.

Can the Cubs afford 40 purple, plush costumes?

Quiet. You will bring Andy Stern out of retirement.

[Internet Apex]

I wouldn't have hated Theriot as much if stupid people didn't love him so much. There's no way the same stupid people fall in love with an Asian version is there? As long as he doesn't become a scrappy folk hero I can stay indifferent, which ain't that bad really.

I said the same thing last night. He's a middling player. I have no reason to hate middling players until idiots decide a team full of middling players is better than a team of excellent players.

Unfortunately, our fellow Cubbie fans are mostly idiots.

Hence my hatred of pretty much every scrappy gritball the Cubs have signed in the last decade.

Cub fans everywhere went pretty much apeshit for Fukudome during his maiden April. Once it was discovered that he sucked they abandoned him en masse. Even though, at his corkscrewing worst, Fukudome is twice as useful as Theriot, there was a segment that either wouldn't or couldn't see that. Could have something to do with Fukudoe's contract but nah, probably racisim.

[Internet Apex]

I wouldn't have hated Theriot as much if stupid people didn't love him so much. There's no way the same stupid people fall in love with an Asian version is there? As long as he doesn't become a scrappy folk hero I can stay indifferent, which ain't that bad really.

I said the same thing last night. He's a middling player. I have no reason to hate middling players until idiots decide a team full of middling players is better than a team of excellent players.

Unfortunately, our fellow Cubbie fans are mostly idiots.

Hence my hatred of pretty much every scrappy gritball the Cubs have signed in the last decade.

Cub fans everywhere went pretty much apeshit for Fukudome during his maiden April. Once it was discovered that he sucked they abandoned him en masse. Even though, at his corkscrewing worst, Fukudome is twice as useful as Theriot, there was a segment that either wouldn't or couldn't see that. Could have something to do with Fukudoe's contract but nah, probably racisim.

Which is almost as bad as racism.

[BH]

I wouldn't have hated Theriot as much if stupid people didn't love him so much. There's no way the same stupid people fall in love with an Asian version is there? As long as he doesn't become a scrappy folk hero I can stay indifferent, which ain't that bad really.

I said the same thing last night. He's a middling player. I have no reason to hate middling players until idiots decide a team full of middling players is better than a team of excellent players.

Unfortunately, our fellow Cubbie fans are mostly idiots.

Hence my hatred of pretty much every scrappy gritball the Cubs have signed in the last decade.

Cub fans everywhere went pretty much apeshit for Fukudome during his maiden April. Once it was discovered that he sucked they abandoned him en masse. Even though, at his corkscrewing worst, Fukudome is twice as useful as Theriot, there was a segment that either wouldn't or couldn't see that. Could have something to do with Fukudoe's contract but nah, probably racisim.

Idito. The difference between Fukodume and Theriot was that Theriot was a HOME GROWN KUBBEE TALENT. You boo free agents when they flop, you don't boo a guy who was taught for years what it's like to be a cub, wearing cubbie blue, learning lessons from teh Cubs legends in spring training. A guy who gets it. Theriot was a simple man, who had no expectations, then VOILA, he saved our butts time and time again. And he was ours from the start. All ours. Chief on that, dark skins.