The Incredibly Unlikely Darwin Barney Splooge Thread

[Internet Apex]

I wouldn't have hated Theriot as much if stupid people didn't love him so much. There's no way the same stupid people fall in love with an Asian version is there? As long as he doesn't become a scrappy folk hero I can stay indifferent, which ain't that bad really.

I said the same thing last night. He's a middling player. I have no reason to hate middling players until idiots decide a team full of middling players is better than a team of excellent players.

Unfortunately, our fellow Cubbie fans are mostly idiots.

Hence my hatred of pretty much every scrappy gritball the Cubs have signed in the last decade.

Cub fans everywhere went pretty much apeshit for Fukudome during his maiden April. Once it was discovered that he sucked they abandoned him en masse. Even though, at his corkscrewing worst, Fukudome is twice as useful as Theriot, there was a segment that either wouldn't or couldn't see that. Could have something to do with Fukudoe's contract but nah, probably racisim.

Idito. The difference between Fukodume and Theriot was that Theriot was a HOME GROWN KUBBEE TALENT. You boo free agents when they flop, you don't boo a guy who was taught for years what it's like to be a cub, wearing cubbie blue, learning lessons from teh Cubs legends in spring training. A guy who gets it. Theriot was a simple man, who had no expectations, then VOILA, he saved our butts time and time again. And he was ours from the start. All ours. Chief on that, dark skins.

And I laughed.

[Lance Dicksons Arm]

15 posts, and nary a mention of his GRIT.   You should all be ashamed.

[Quality Start Machine]

15 posts, and nary a mention of his GRIT.   You should all be ashamed.

Blake Dewitt's stubbliness laughs at Barney's grit.

[Slaky]

Uh, game winning RBI splooge? Jesus, Asian Theriot won't stop doing good stuff.

[flannj]

Uh, game winning RBI splooge? Jesus, Asian Theriot won't stop doing good stuff.

I'm confused, am I supposed to hate him or what?

[Yeti]

Excuse me while I go be underwhelmed by his .686 OPS (86 OPS+)

[BBM]

Excuse me while I go be underwhelmed by his .686 OPS (86 OPS+)

STATFAG! DAT GUY IS CLUTCH MY FRENT UNLIKE DAT CATRO GUY.

[Richard Chuggar]

Excuse me while I go be underwhelmed by his .686 OPS (86 OPS+)

I'm whelmed by it.  He's a 5'7" half asian second baseman.  What would anybody else expect?

[Slaky]

Excuse me while I go be underwhelmed by his .686 OPS (86 OPS+)

I'm whelmed by it.  He's a 5'7" half asian second baseman.  What would anybody else expect?

It's not about what you would expect but the constant Barney Blow Jobs that everyone seems to be handing out. He's fooling everyone.

[J. Walter Weatherman]

"What's up, dickheads?"

[World's #1 Astros Fan]

Excuse me while I go be underwhelmed by his .686 OPS (86 OPS+)

I'm whelmed by it.  He's a 5'7" half asian second baseman.  What would anybody else expect?

Quoting this as a reminder that TDubbs can sometimes be funny.

[Powdered Toast Man]

Two great plays by Darwin in the 8th last night.

[J. Walter Weatherman]

Two great plays by Darwin in the 8th last night.

"What's up, dickheads?"

[Slaky]

Excuse me while I go be underwhelmed by his .686 OPS (86 OPS+)

I'm whelmed by it.  He's a 5'7" half asian second baseman.  What would anybody else expect?

Quoting this as a reminder that TDubbs can sometimes be funny.

Where's the reminder?

[Richard Chuggar]

Excuse me while I go be underwhelmed by his .686 OPS (86 OPS+)

I'm whelmed by it.  He's a 5'7" half asian second baseman.  What would anybody else expect?

Quoting this as a reminder that TDubbs can sometimes be funny.

Where's the reminder?