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Author Topic: BIG BEAR JEW!  ( 5,210 )

Chuck to Chuck

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BIG BEAR JEW!
« on: April 28, 2011, 10:11:13 PM »
Shalom, Gabe!

Tonker

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Re: BIG BEAR JEW!
« Reply #1 on: April 29, 2011, 05:43:34 AM »
Your toilet's broken, Dave, but I fixed it.

R-V

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Re: BIG BEAR JEW!
« Reply #2 on: April 29, 2011, 08:37:36 AM »

Internet Apex

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Re: BIG BEAR JEW!
« Reply #3 on: April 29, 2011, 08:48:44 AM »
Face. Palm.

http://www.chicagotribune.com/sports/football/bears/cbsports-bears-gm-on-failed-trade-with-ravens-it-was-a-glitch-on-our-part-20110428,0,4438833.story

Angelo almost spent the 29th and an a 4th to get the Bear Jew. The clusterfuck with the Ravens at 26 that allowed KC to jump them? Jerry's fault. In the end everyone got their man (||) and the Ravens are probably still pissed at Angleo. But the important thing to remember is that Angelo tried and FAILED to spend two picks on the Bear Jew instead of one. I fucking hate this team.
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Chuck to Chuck

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Re: BIG BEAR JEW!
« Reply #4 on: April 29, 2011, 08:49:51 AM »
Quote from: R-V on April 29, 2011, 08:37:36 AM
Quote from: Tonker on April 29, 2011, 05:43:34 AM
Quote from: Chuck to Chuck on April 28, 2011, 10:11:13 PM
Shalom, Gabe!

Whuh?

The offensive tackle the Bears drafted last night is Jewish.

QuoteThere aren't many Jews that are similar to me in build, but I think people generally consider my physical stature before thinking about my religious affiliation.

No shit.

BBM

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Re: BIG BEAR JEW!
« Reply #5 on: April 29, 2011, 09:05:58 AM »
I can attest Carimi is not a golem.

Chuck to Chuck

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Re: BIG BEAR JEW!
« Reply #6 on: April 29, 2011, 09:08:46 AM »
Quote from: Internet Apex on April 29, 2011, 08:48:44 AM
Face. Palm.

http://www.chicagotribune.com/sports/football/bears/cbsports-bears-gm-on-failed-trade-with-ravens-it-was-a-glitch-on-our-part-20110428,0,4438833.story

Angelo almost spent the 29th and an a 4th to get the Bear Jew. The clusterfuck with the Ravens at 26 that allowed KC to jump them? Jerry's fault. In the end everyone got their man (||) and the Ravens are probably still pissed at Angleo. But the important thing to remember is that Angelo tried and FAILED to spend two picks on the Bear Jew instead of one. I fucking hate this team.

Check off box issues.

Telling one kid he was drafted when they actually drafted another kid.

Ravengate.

Vag McCaskey should call the recruiter that helped them get Angelo and ask for her money back.

CBStew

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Re: BIG BEAR JEW!
« Reply #7 on: April 29, 2011, 09:17:39 AM »
Wait.  He fasts on Yom Kippur and plays in a game if it falls on Yom Kippur?   Which branch of Judaism is that? 


"His decision to fast on Yom Kippur each year, despite the fact that it often falls on game days, is noteworthy in that it demonstrates his ability to maintain his commitment to his faith and career."
If I had known that I was going to live this long I would have taken better care of myself.   (Plagerized from numerous other folks)

Internet Apex

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Re: BIG BEAR JEW!
« Reply #8 on: April 29, 2011, 09:18:53 AM »
Quote from: CBStew on April 29, 2011, 09:17:39 AM
Wait.  He fasts on Yom Kippur and plays in a game if it falls on Yom Kippur?   Which branch of Judaism is that?  


"His decision to fast on Yom Kippur each year, despite the fact that it often falls on game days, is noteworthy in that it demonstrates his ability to maintain his commitment to his faith and career."


But does he bowl on Shabbos?
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Slaky

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Re: BIG BEAR JEW!
« Reply #9 on: April 29, 2011, 09:28:04 AM »
Quote from: Internet Apex on April 29, 2011, 09:18:53 AM
Quote from: CBStew on April 29, 2011, 09:17:39 AM
Wait.  He fasts on Yom Kippur and plays in a game if it falls on Yom Kippur?   Which branch of Judaism is that?  


"His decision to fast on Yom Kippur each year, despite the fact that it often falls on game days, is noteworthy in that it demonstrates his ability to maintain his commitment to his faith and career."


But does he bowl on Shabbos?

He sure as shit does not fucking roll.

Chuck to Chuck

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Re: BIG BEAR JEW!
« Reply #10 on: April 29, 2011, 09:30:50 AM »
For those of you unaware, here's is the key Inglorious Basterds bit:

Lt. Aldo Raine: [Drawing a map] Up the road apiece, there's a orchard. Now, besides you, we know there's another kraut patrol fuckin' here somewhere. Now if that patrol were to have any crackshots, that orchard would be a goddamn sniper's delight. Now if you ever want to eat a sauerkraut sandwich again, you gotta show me on this map where they are, you gotta tell me how many there are, and you gotta tell me what kinda artillery they're carrying with 'em.
Sgt. Werner Rachtman: You can't expect me to divulge information that would put German lives in danger?
Lt. Aldo Raine: Well Werner, that's where you're wrong, because that's exactly what I expect. I need to about Germans hiding in them trees, and you need to tell me, and you need to tell me. And you need to tell me right now. Now take your finger and point out on this map where this party's being held, how many's coming, and what they brought to play with.
Sgt. Werner Rachtman: I respectfully refuse.
Lt. Aldo Raine: [a smack is heard offscreen] Here that? That's Sgt. Donny Donowitz. But you might know him better by his nickname. The Bear Jew. Now, if you heard of Aldo the Apache, you gotta have heard of the Bear Jew.
Sgt. Werner Rachtman: I have heard of the Bear Jew.
Lt. Aldo Raine: What did you hear about him, Werner?
Sgt. Werner Rachtman: He beats German soldiers with a club
Lt. Aldo Raine: He bashes their brains in with a baseball bat is what he does. Now, Werner, I'm gonna ask you one more goddamn time, and if you still "respectfully refuse," I'm callin' the Bear Jew over here, and he's gonna take that big-ole bat of his, and he's gonna beat you to death with it. Now take your wiener schnitzel lickin' finger and point out on this map what I want to know.
Sgt. Werner Rachtman: Fuck you.
[pause]
Sgt. Werner Rachtman: And your Jew dogs!
[the Basterds all laugh]
Lt. Aldo Raine: Actually, Werner, we're all tickled to here you say that. Frankly, watchin' Donny beat Nazis to death is is the closest we ever get to goin' to the movies.
[Calling offscreen]
Lt. Aldo Raine: DONNY!
Sgt. Donny Donowitz: [From offscreen] Yeah?
Lt. Aldo Raine: We got a German here who wants to die for his country! Oblige him!

Gilgamesh

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Re: BIG BEAR JEW!
« Reply #11 on: April 29, 2011, 09:48:32 AM »
Quote from: Chuck to Chuck on April 29, 2011, 09:30:50 AM
For those of you unaware, here's is the key Inglorious Basterds bit:

Lt. Aldo Raine: [Drawing a map] Up the road apiece, there's a orchard. Now, besides you, we know there's another kraut patrol fuckin' here somewhere. Now if that patrol were to have any crackshots, that orchard would be a goddamn sniper's delight. Now if you ever want to eat a sauerkraut sandwich again, you gotta show me on this map where they are, you gotta tell me how many there are, and you gotta tell me what kinda artillery they're carrying with 'em.
Sgt. Werner Rachtman: You can't expect me to divulge information that would put German lives in danger?
Lt. Aldo Raine: Well Werner, that's where you're wrong, because that's exactly what I expect. I need to about Germans hiding in them trees, and you need to tell me, and you need to tell me. And you need to tell me right now. Now take your finger and point out on this map where this party's being held, how many's coming, and what they brought to play with.
Sgt. Werner Rachtman: I respectfully refuse.
Lt. Aldo Raine: [a smack is heard offscreen] Here that? That's Sgt. Donny Donowitz. But you might know him better by his nickname. The Bear Jew. Now, if you heard of Aldo the Apache, you gotta have heard of the Bear Jew.
Sgt. Werner Rachtman: I have heard of the Bear Jew.
Lt. Aldo Raine: What did you hear about him, Werner?
Sgt. Werner Rachtman: He beats German soldiers with a club
Lt. Aldo Raine: He bashes their brains in with a baseball bat is what he does. Now, Werner, I'm gonna ask you one more goddamn time, and if you still "respectfully refuse," I'm callin' the Bear Jew over here, and he's gonna take that big-ole bat of his, and he's gonna beat you to death with it. Now take your wiener schnitzel lickin' finger and point out on this map what I want to know.
Sgt. Werner Rachtman: Fuck you.
[pause]
Sgt. Werner Rachtman: And your Jew dogs!
[the Basterds all laugh]
Lt. Aldo Raine: Actually, Werner, we're all tickled to here you say that. Frankly, watchin' Donny beat Nazis to death is is the closest we ever get to goin' to the movies.
[Calling offscreen]
Lt. Aldo Raine: DONNY!
Sgt. Donny Donowitz: [From offscreen] Yeah?
Lt. Aldo Raine: We got a German here who wants to die for his country! Oblige him!

A bit that Bernstein first referenced on teh Twitter and you are now beating into the ground.

As if people had never seen "Inglorious Basterds."

Guh.
This is so bad, I'd root for the Orioles over this fucking team, but I can't. Because they're a fucking drug and you can't kick it and they'll never win anything and they'll always suck, but it'll always be sunny at Wrigley and there will be tits and ivy and an old scoreboard and fucking Chads.

Internet Apex

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Re: BIG BEAR JEW!
« Reply #12 on: April 29, 2011, 09:49:25 AM »
If only there were some website with videos on it that you could watch for free. Not like whole movies but just specific clips for reference and such.

Oh, wait...
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Chuck to Chuck

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Re: BIG BEAR JEW!
« Reply #13 on: April 29, 2011, 09:54:30 AM »
Quote from: Gilgamesh on April 29, 2011, 09:48:32 AM
A bit that Bernstein first referenced on teh Twitter Tonks didn't understand and you are now beating into the ground explaining for him and anyone else who .

As if people
had never seen "Inglorious Basterds."

Guh.

Internet Apex

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Re: BIG BEAR JEW!
« Reply #14 on: April 29, 2011, 09:59:31 AM »
Quote from: Chuck to Chuck on April 29, 2011, 09:54:30 AM
Quote from: Gilgamesh on April 29, 2011, 09:48:32 AM
A bit that Bernstein first referenced on teh Twitter Tonks didn't understand and you are now beating into the ground explaining for him and anyone else who .

As if people
had never seen "Inglorious Basterds."

Guh.

You're a fucking boob. I'm sure Tonks has seen Inglorious Basterds but was blissfully unaware that the Bears had drafted a Jew from Wisconsin to play O-Line. Your first post reads Shalom, Gabe! And I knew exactly what you meant but that you had failed in your attempt to create a lol.    I figured you were drinking and didn't give it much thought.
The 37th Tenet of Pexism:  Apestink is terrible.