Grantland: A Bill Simmons Joint

[Richard Chuggar]

We get it, you're all jealous that a guy has a sweet job of writing some half-ass blog and makes a shitton of money for it while you do whatever is that you do everyday.

That's how all criticism works. Clearly we all want to be what we criticise. Which means you want to be a large, gay black guy who plays XBox all day.

http://www.desipio.com/messageboard/index.php?topic=7369.msg242752#msg242752

[PenPho]

If this dreck about THE WRIGLEY EXPERIENCE doesn't make your ass itch, nothing will.

Now there are about 1,000 people who watch the Cubs from across Sheffield and across Waveland. Even when the stadium isn't full, the rooftops are. This says a lot about baseball in Wrigleyville.

Winning, which the Cubs did do occasionally, was a superfluous kind of treat. It didn't feel too much different than losing — just like when you're at the beach, getting one flavor of ice cream doesn't feel so different than any other. They all taste fine when you're at the beach, right?

Precisely who was pitching for the Cubs didn't and doesn't matter. Precisely who was hitting the next home run off the Cubs didn't and doesn't matter. I still don't know who it was.

Fenway is spectacular, but in a very different way than Wrigley. Fenway is electric. Fenway is tense. When you're at a Red Sox game, you're at a professional baseball game, you're standing up, you're paying attention, you're keeping track of things. Because your team has a chance to win.

With the Cubs, though, all of that worry is gone. You're there, and there is a game being played, but then again, there's the sun, and what's that guy doing with his stomach over there? And where's the beer guy? And who's playing at the Cubby Bear tonight? Peter Tosh's brother? Should we leave after this inning to get a seat near the stage?

And there's a Bartman mention too!

Ah, it looks like our old friends are still recovering from the negative publicity of August 2008 and thus allowed Dave Eggers to eat and drink free or something:

We were at a place called Brixen Ivy.

By the way, from 1980-1989, the time Eggers came of age, the Cubs were the best team in the NL twice. Only the Cardinals were the best team in the league more (three times). The Mets twice were the best team in the league, the Astros once, the Reds once (1981, in which the strike cost them a playoff appearance), and the Dodgers once. Thus, winning obviously WAS an issue in the 1980s, especially from approximately the date of Lee Elia's "15 percent" address to the time they put Sutcliffe on the disabled list in 1985, when they were easily the best team in the NL over that two year span. These are the same Cubs that had to face Whitey Herzog's Cardinals, Darryl-Doc-Nails-led Mets, Mike Schmidt-era Phillies, the OF of the 1980s Expos and the young Bonds-Bonilla Van Slyke Pirates 18 times every year. It might not have been an ultimately successful decade, but winning at Wrigley was as much a concern in the 1980s as it was at Fenway (two playoff appearances). So Eggers doesn't know what he's talking about. And the people at Brixen Ivy aren't particularly nice, at least during the 2008 season when the Cubs again were the best team in the NL.

Fixed.

Also, fuck off TJ with your facts and reasonable analysis. Dave Eggers has tired memes to regurgitate for a trendy pop culture Internet vortex.

I saw the link for this article and I knew I was going to hate it, and then I read it and immediately came here because I knew it would have been discussed already and I could just come and say "THIS".

So THAT.

[Bort]

Guys, this site is only going to get worse. Either stop reading now or wait for Rosendouche, Yellon, and Fro Dog to get hired before griping.

[morpheus]

Guys, this site is only going to get worse. Either stop reading now or wait for Rosendouche, Yellon, and Fro Dog to get hired before griping.

They already have an Editor-in-Chief, so Yellon's out.

Bill Simmons is the Editor in Chief of Grantland and the author of the recent New York Times No. 1 best-seller The Book of Basketball. For every Simmons column and podcast, log on to Grantland.

[Bort]

Guys, this site is only going to get worse. Either stop reading now or wait for Rosendouche, Yellon, and Fro Dog to get hired before griping.

They already have an Editor-in-Chief, so Yellon's out.

Bill Simmons is the Editor in Chief of Grantland and the author of the recent New York Times No. 1 best-seller The Book of Basketball. For every Simmons column and podcast, log on to Grantland.

Is that a threat?

[World's #1 Astros Fan]

Dave Eggers might be the most insufferable and pretentious writer of these early days of the 21st century. 

[World's #1 Astros Fan]

DPD.

I would like to  add that this line...

Now there are about 1,000 people who watch the Cubs from across Sheffield and across Waveland. Even when the stadium isn't full, the rooftops are. This says a lot about baseball in Wrigleyville.

...is so full of wrong it's giving birth to a  thousand sperm-sized Chucks as we speak.  There were plenty of times during the 2008 season--when the Cubs won more games than they have in any season since 1945--where there was nobody on some of the rooftops.  If they can't get enough people to justify the operating costs of being opened, they'll just leave it dark--and that happens frequently in April and May.  What a fucking douche.  I hope you're proud of this Illinois alum, all of you Illini grads.

[Gilgamesh]

DPD.

I would like to  add that this line...

Now there are about 1,000 people who watch the Cubs from across Sheffield and across Waveland. Even when the stadium isn't full, the rooftops are. This says a lot about baseball in Wrigleyville.

...is so full of wrong it's giving birth to a  thousand sperm-sized Chucks as we speak.  There were plenty of times during the 2008 season--when the Cubs won more games than they have in any season since 1945--where there was nobody on some of the rooftops.  If they can't get enough people to justify the operating costs of being opened, they'll just leave it dark--and that happens frequently in April and May.  What a fucking douche.  I hope you're proud of this Illinois alum, all of you Illini grads.

We don't take much pride in anything Illini-related of late.

Not even a Texas Bowl championship.

[Indolent Reader]

DPD.

I would like to  add that this line...

Now there are about 1,000 people who watch the Cubs from across Sheffield and across Waveland. Even when the stadium isn't full, the rooftops are. This says a lot about baseball in Wrigleyville.

...is so full of wrong it's giving birth to a  thousand sperm-sized Chucks as we speak.  There were plenty of times during the 2008 season--when the Cubs won more games than they have in any season since 1945--where there was nobody on some of the rooftops.  If they can't get enough people to justify the operating costs of being opened, they'll just leave it dark--and that happens frequently in April and May.  What a fucking douche.  I hope you're proud of this Illinois alum, all of you Illini grads.

We don't take much pride in anything Illini-related of late.

Not even a Texas Bowl championship.

I've heard from my sources that Assembly Hall is getting a brand new basketball court for the first time in 25 years.  STATE!  PRIDE!

[SKO]

DPD.

I would like to  add that this line...

Now there are about 1,000 people who watch the Cubs from across Sheffield and across Waveland. Even when the stadium isn't full, the rooftops are. This says a lot about baseball in Wrigleyville.

...is so full of wrong it's giving birth to a  thousand sperm-sized Chucks as we speak.  There were plenty of times during the 2008 season--when the Cubs won more games than they have in any season since 1945--where there was nobody on some of the rooftops.  If they can't get enough people to justify the operating costs of being opened, they'll just leave it dark--and that happens frequently in April and May.  What a fucking douche.  I hope you're proud of this Illinois alum, all of you Illini grads.

We don't take much pride in anything Illini-related of late.

Not even a Texas Bowl championship.

Oh Rly?

[Slaky]

Andy takes a poke at Grantland. A long poke.

http://www.desipio.com/?p=3599

[Slaky]

After last week's pathetic attempt at a hockey column, in which Bill Simmons hailed the tough play of Bruins' forward "Patrick Beverly" - he tries again to fit in with a piece celebrating Boston's latest champion. Sadly, Mr. Simmons didn't learn from his mistakes and world be damned he refuses to get an editor or a fact-checker. After Twitter blew up the mistake was fixed but I captured a screenshot for posterity. In essence, he tries to create an entire narrative around something that never happened. Observe and spot the error(s):

http://min.us/mvjA9qe

[SKO]

After last week's pathetic attempt at a hockey column, in which Bill Simmons hailed the tough play of Bruins' forward "Patrick Beverly" - he tries again to fit in with a piece celebrating Boston's latest champion. Sadly, Mr. Simmons didn't learn from his mistakes and world be damned he refuses to get an editor or a fact-checker. After Twitter blew up the mistake was fixed but I captured a screenshot for posterity. In essence, he tries to create an entire narrative around something that never happened. Observe and spot the error(s):

http://min.us/mvjA9qe

Wow. That's even worse than Yellon's little bit last year where he pretended to have been a heartbroken Blackhawks fan by saying that he'd walked away because they'd let too many good players go and then reciting a bunch of facts about the franchise he could have found on Wikipedia. I think we all got banned from SBNation that day. Good times.

[Bort]

They should just run Michael Schur articles and nothing else.

[Slaky]

After last week's pathetic attempt at a hockey column, in which Bill Simmons hailed the tough play of Bruins' forward "Patrick Beverly" - he tries again to fit in with a piece celebrating Boston's latest champion. Sadly, Mr. Simmons didn't learn from his mistakes and world be damned he refuses to get an editor or a fact-checker. After Twitter blew up the mistake was fixed but I captured a screenshot for posterity. In essence, he tries to create an entire narrative around something that never happened. Observe and spot the error(s):

http://min.us/mvjA9qe

Wow. That's even worse than Yellon's little bit last year where he pretended to have been a heartbroken Blackhawks fan by saying that he'd walked away because they'd let too many good players go and then reciting a bunch of facts about the franchise he could have found on Wikipedia. I think we all got banned from SBNation that day. Good times.

Funny enough, if Simmons would have used Wikipedia he would have been just fine here.