Theo Epstein Sploosh Thread

[World's #1 Astros Fan]

The 2004 collapse was one of the hardest cockpunches I've had as a Cubs fan.

So, a team 13 games out of first when the collapse started, despite coming off a previous year division winner and adding Greg Maddux and Derrek Lee was a bigger cockpunch than Florida and San Diego?  5 outs and 12 outs from a pennant hurt LESS than losing a wild card?

Okay.

Solipsistic Chuck also assumes Bort was old enough to remember '84, which I don't believe he was.

Unless he's mining through cultural memory, in which case I'd ask him how Hack Wilson losing a ball in the sun in the '29 Series, precipitating a blown 8-0 lead rates, or where he'd put the Cubs wasting Stan Hack's leadoff triple against the Tigers in '35.

I'm pretty sure Bort's right around the same age as me, and that he remembers it.

I'm going to surmise that Bort was running through the hills of South Carolina, chased by his drunken whore grandmother, and that the Cubs were not on his radar in '84.

The point of the story--one on which I assume we can agree-- is that Fuck You, Chuck.

[Slaky]

The 2004 collapse was one of the hardest cockpunches I've had as a Cubs fan.

So, a team 13 games out of first when the collapse started, despite coming off a previous year division winner and adding Greg Maddux and Derrek Lee was a bigger cockpunch than Florida and San Diego?  5 outs and 12 outs from a pennant hurt LESS than losing a wild card?

Okay.

Solipsistic Chuck also assumes Bort was old enough to remember '84, which I don't believe he was.

Unless he's mining through cultural memory, in which case I'd ask him how Hack Wilson losing a ball in the sun in the '29 Series, precipitating a blown 8-0 lead rates, or where he'd put the Cubs wasting Stan Hack's leadoff triple against the Tigers in '35.

I'm pretty sure Bort's right around the same age as me, and that he remembers it.

I'm going to surmise that Bort was running through the hills of South Carolina, chased by his drunken whore grandmother, and that the Cubs were not on his radar in '84.

The point of the story--one on which I assume we can agree-- is that Fuck You, Chuck.

When DeRosa hit into a bases loaded double play on a 3-1 count against the ancient Livan Fucking Hernandez in game 3 of the 2007 NLDS Chuck uncorked his finest bottle of champagne.

Meanwhile I swore a blue streak at Jock Jones and was kicked out of Wrigley Field.

[Quality Start Machine]

While Stew can add in the hearbreak of 1945, I think if we were to keep it to the last half century, my ranking of nutpunches would be:

The years where the Cubs had the (arguably) best team in the NL, only to see it all go into the shitter:

1. 2003
2. 1984
3. 2008
4. 2007

The years where they bled out:

5. 1969
6. 1972
7. 2004
8. 1970

The years where they gave us hope, but got outclassed:

9. 1989
10. 1998

Goddamnt. I hate this team.

[SKO]

While Stew can add in the hearbreak of 1945, I think if we were to keep it to the last half century, my ranking of nutpunches would be:

The years where the Cubs had the (arguably) best team in the NL, only to see it all go into the shitter:

1. 2003
2. 1984
3. 2008
4. 2007

The years where they bled out:

5. 1969
6. 1972
7. 2004
8. 1970

The years where they gave us hope, but got outclassed:

9. 1989
10. 1998

Goddamnt. I hate this team.

I know you put the qualifier "arguably" in there, but the 2007 Cubs were nowhere near the best team in the NL that year. They got what was coming to 'em.

[World's #1 Astros Fan]

The 2004 collapse was one of the hardest cockpunches I've had as a Cubs fan.

So, a team 13 games out of first when the collapse started, despite coming off a previous year division winner and adding Greg Maddux and Derrek Lee was a bigger cockpunch than Florida and San Diego?  5 outs and 12 outs from a pennant hurt LESS than losing a wild card?

Okay.

Solipsistic Chuck also assumes Bort was old enough to remember '84, which I don't believe he was.

Unless he's mining through cultural memory, in which case I'd ask him how Hack Wilson losing a ball in the sun in the '29 Series, precipitating a blown 8-0 lead rates, or where he'd put the Cubs wasting Stan Hack's leadoff triple against the Tigers in '35.

I'm pretty sure Bort's right around the same age as me, and that he remembers it.

I'm going to surmise that Bort was running through the hills of South Carolina, chased by his drunken whore grandmother, and that the Cubs were not on his radar in '84.

The point of the story--one on which I assume we can agree-- is that Fuck You, Chuck.

When DeRosa hit into a bases loaded double play on a 3-1 count against the ancient Livan Fucking Hernandez in game 3 of the 2007 NLDS Chuck uncorked his finest bottle of champagne.

Meanwhile I swore a blue streak at Jock Jones and was kicked out of Wrigley Field.

When Preston Wilson went opposite-field against Flash Gordon in early September, 2001, Chuck bought a round of drinks for those around him.

[Yeti]

While Stew can add in the hearbreak of 1945, I think if we were to keep it to the last half century, my ranking of nutpunches would be:

The years where the Cubs had the (arguably) best team in the NL, only to see it all go into the shitter:

1. 2003
2. 1984
3. 2008
4. 2007

The years where they bled out:

5. 1969
6. 1972
7. 2004
8. 1970

The years where they gave us hope, but got outclassed:

9. 1989
10. 1998

Goddamnt. I hate this team.

I know you put the qualifier "arguably" in there, but the 2007 Cubs were nowhere near the best team in the NL that year. They got what was coming to 'em.

Yea, I'd move 2007 to the third category

[World's #1 Astros Fan]

While Stew can add in the hearbreak of 1945, I think if we were to keep it to the last half century, my ranking of nutpunches would be:

The years where the Cubs had the (arguably) best team in the NL, only to see it all go into the shitter:

1. 2003
2. 1984
3. 2008
4. 2007

The years where they bled out:

5. 1969
6. 1972
7. 2004
8. 1970

The years where they gave us hope, but got outclassed:

9. 1989
10. 1998

Goddamnt. I hate this team.

You left the 2001 team on the "bled out" list.

That was the first time in my lifetime that the Cubs actually were in legitimate contention after Labor Day and didn't close the deal (counter to public perception of the Cubs as habitual chokers...the reality being that they were so infrequently in this position to begin with to test such a  theory)

But the aforementioned Preston Wilson game, which followed Jeff Fassero serving up a turd cookie to Ryan Klesko, and was followed by Shitbird Farnsworth pissing a game away against Cincinnati in the first game after the September 11th attacks, constitute a troika of celebratory blown games for Chuck.

[Brownie]

The 2004 collapse was one of the hardest cockpunches I've had as a Cubs fan.

So, a team 13 games out of first when the collapse started, despite coming off a previous year division winner and adding Greg Maddux and Derrek Lee was a bigger cockpunch than Florida and San Diego?  5 outs and 12 outs from a pennant hurt LESS than losing a wild card?

Okay.

Solipsistic Chuck also assumes Bort was old enough to remember '84, which I don't believe he was.

Unless he's mining through cultural memory, in which case I'd ask him how Hack Wilson losing a ball in the sun in the '29 Series, precipitating a blown 8-0 lead rates, or where he'd put the Cubs wasting Stan Hack's leadoff triple against the Tigers in '35.

I'm pretty sure Bort's right around the same age as me, and that he remembers it.

I'm going to surmise that Bort was running through the hills of South Carolina, chased by his drunken whore grandmother, and that the Cubs were not on his radar in '84.

The point of the story--one on which I assume we can agree-- is that Fuck You, Chuck.

When DeRosa hit into a bases loaded double play on a 3-1 count against the ancient Livan Fucking Hernandez in game 3 of the 2007 NLDS Chuck uncorked his finest bottle of champagne.

Meanwhile I swore a blue streak at Jock Jones and was kicked out of Wrigley Field.

When Preston Wilson went opposite-field against Flash Gordon in early September, 2001, Chuck bought a round of drinks for those around him.

When Rick Sutcliffe, Steve Trout, Dennis Eckersley and Scott Sanderson went on the DL over the course of 10 days in June 1985, Chuck partied for the next six weeks before the inevitable depression caused by the coming Bears season.

[World's #1 Astros Fan]

While Stew can add in the hearbreak of 1945, I think if we were to keep it to the last half century, my ranking of nutpunches would be:

The years where the Cubs had the (arguably) best team in the NL, only to see it all go into the shitter:

1. 2003
2. 1984
3. 2008
4. 2007

The years where they bled out:

5. 1969
6. 1972
7. 2004
8. 1970

The years where they gave us hope, but got outclassed:

9. 1989
10. 1998

Goddamnt. I hate this team.

I know you put the qualifier "arguably" in there, but the 2007 Cubs were nowhere near the best team in the NL that year. They got what was coming to 'em.

Yea, I'd move 2007 to the third category

THIS.

2007 was nice in that Piniella was able to turn the elephant around, but that team was as playoff-worthy as the '98 Cubs.  They lost 4 of their last 6 (5 of their last 11) and were promptly swept out of the postseason.

[World's #1 Astros Fan]

Chuck stood and cheered when Hue Hollins' questionable foul call on Scottie Pippen denied the Bulls a chance to win a title without Michael.

[Slaky]

While Stew can add in the hearbreak of 1945, I think if we were to keep it to the last half century, my ranking of nutpunches would be:

The years where the Cubs had the (arguably) best team in the NL, only to see it all go into the shitter:

1. 2003
2. 1984
3. 2008
4. 2007

The years where they bled out:

5. 1969
6. 1972
7. 2004
8. 1970

The years where they gave us hope, but got outclassed:

9. 1989
10. 1998

Goddamnt. I hate this team.

I know you put the qualifier "arguably" in there, but the 2007 Cubs were nowhere near the best team in the NL that year. They got what was coming to 'em.

Yea, I'd move 2007 to the third category

Yep. 2007 was the year they rebounded from a pretty awful start but still didn't quite have the goods to do something.

BUT that doesn't change the pure anger I felt during that Arizona series mostly because Marmol melted down and Augie Ojeda bulldozed Cubs pitching and everyone was upset about Lou pulling Zambrano and they, as usual, couldn't fucking hit in October

[J. Walter Weatherman]

I was about to put forth my own ranking. Then I asked myself: why? We're really rehashing the horrors of 2003, 2004, 2008, etc., etc., etc. all over again?

Fuck you, Chuck.

[World's #1 Astros Fan]

I was about to put forth my own ranking. Then I asked myself: why? We're really rehashing the horrors of 2003, 2004, 2008, etc., etc., etc. all over again?

Fuck you, Chuck.

We're doing it, apparently, in an effort to cheer Chuck up during these long, solitary winter days.

[J. Walter Weatherman]

I was about to put forth my own ranking. Then I asked myself: why? We're really rehashing the horrors of 2003, 2004, 2008, etc., etc., etc. all over again?

Fuck you, Chuck.

We're doing it, apparently, in an effort to cheer Chuck up during these long, solitary winter days.

Well, I hope he's 'enjoying the shit out of' everyone's PTSD.

[World's #1 Astros Fan]

Don't even get Chuck started on Aaron Rodger's 4th-and-11 TD pass last month. 

Pretty sure he's still glowing over that one.