Theo Epstein Sploosh Thread

[Internet Apex]

Move over, Gary Karton. You've got company on the Retarded Sun-Times Columns About Theo Epstein dais.

The analogy Telander tries to draw is so breathtakingly stupid that I don't know what to quote.

http://www.suntimes.com/sports/8439764-419/cubs-have-adopted-the-1-percent-solution.html

This is pretty good:

Yale undergrad, law degree in his spare time, smart-as-a-whip, boy-wonder Theo won two World Series in his nine years as general manager for the Red Sox. But where did he play his pro ball? Oh, in the hallways of various front offices.

Screw his success doing what the Cubs hired him to do. He never did this other job that the Cubs don't need him to do*

*Hendry never played pro ball ether, FWIW.

Here's the thing about bringing in Theo...

It's such a self-evidently smart hire that the lackwits in the Chicago sports media—so accustomed to being able to replay the same familiar bits, aimed at the same easy targets, over and over again—have had to go out and trailblaze whole new frontiers of stupidity just for sake of having something, anything, to say about it.

We've entered a brave new era of discovery, with each day bringing us a new pioneer of the absurd unearthing a whole new brand of idiocy that seems like it, too, could stand for all time as The Dumbest Fucking Thing Ever Written. But just you wait until tomorrow.

What a time to be alive.

Yes.

[CBStew]

Move over, Gary Karton. You've got company on the Retarded Sun-Times Columns About Theo Epstein dais.

The analogy Telander tries to draw is so breathtakingly stupid that I don't know what to quote.

http://www.suntimes.com/sports/8439764-419/cubs-have-adopted-the-1-percent-solution.html

This is pretty good:

Yale undergrad, law degree in his spare time, smart-as-a-whip, boy-wonder Theo won two World Series in his nine years as general manager for the Red Sox. But where did he play his pro ball? Oh, in the hallways of various front offices.

Screw his success doing what the Cubs hired him to do. He never did this other job that the Cubs don't need him to do*

*Hendry never played pro ball ether, FWIW.

Here's the thing about bringing in Theo...

It's such a self-evidently smart hire that the lackwits in the Chicago sports media—so accustomed to being able to replay the same familiar bits, aimed at the same easy targets, over and over again—have had to go out and trailblaze whole new frontiers of stupidity just for sake of having something, anything, to say about it.

We've entered a brave new era of discovery, with each day bringing us a new pioneer of the absurd unearthing a whole new brand of idiocy that seems like it, too, could stand for all time as The Dumbest Fucking Thing Ever Written. But just you wait until tomorrow.

What a time to be alive.

Yes.

Puts me in mind of this guy Hawking.  Where was he when the Universe was created?  What are his credentials?

[R-V]

Move over, Gary Karton. You've got company on the Retarded Sun-Times Columns About Theo Epstein dais.

The analogy Telander tries to draw is so breathtakingly stupid that I don't know what to quote.

http://www.suntimes.com/sports/8439764-419/cubs-have-adopted-the-1-percent-solution.html

This is pretty good:

Yale undergrad, law degree in his spare time, smart-as-a-whip, boy-wonder Theo won two World Series in his nine years as general manager for the Red Sox. But where did he play his pro ball? Oh, in the hallways of various front offices.

Screw his success doing what the Cubs hired him to do. He never did this other job that the Cubs don't need him to do*

*Hendry never played pro ball ether, FWIW.

Here's the thing about bringing in Theo...

It's such a self-evidently smart hire that the lackwits in the Chicago sports media—so accustomed to being able to replay the same familiar bits, aimed at the same easy targets, over and over again—have had to go out and trailblaze whole new frontiers of stupidity just for sake of having something, anything, to say about it.

We've entered a brave new era of discovery, with each day bringing us a new pioneer of the absurd unearthing a whole new brand of idiocy that seems like it, too, could stand for all time as The Dumbest Fucking Thing Ever Written. But just you wait until tomorrow.

What a time to be alive.

Yes.

Between this post and pointing me out to Chuck's hilarious ramblings about the Greek priest and Soriano's contract, Tank wins Desipio for today. Shut 'er down, Ratto.

[Shooter]

Twenty-two of the 29 paragraphs are one sentence. What the hell kind of writing is that?

Although in his defense, this BC-esque parasentence clocks in at 65 words"

At a time when the middle class is vanishing, when Baby Boomers are wondering how they're going to be able to retire, when job-hunting young people who are saddled with mammoth education and government debt are protesting the clever profiteers at the top of the capitalist food chain, is it silly to ask if Tom Ricketts and Theo Epstein are appropriate heroes for the times?

[Slaky]

Twenty-two of the 29 paragraphs are one sentence. What the hell kind of writing is that?

Although in his defense, this BC-esque parasentence clocks in at 65 words"

At a time when the middle class is vanishing, when Baby Boomers are wondering how they're going to be able to retire, when job-hunting young people who are saddled with mammoth education and government debt are protesting the clever profiteers at the top of the capitalist food chain, is it silly to ask if Tom Ricketts and Theo Epstein are appropriate heroes for the times?

In other words, how can you think about sports at a time like this asks the extremely rich, old, white, lazy sportswriter who doesn't have to even try to write a decent column to collect his giant paycheck anymore.

[CT III]

Twenty-two of the 29 paragraphs are one sentence. What the hell kind of writing is that?

Although in his defense, this BC-esque parasentence clocks in at 65 words"

At a time when the middle class is vanishing, when Baby Boomers are wondering how they're going to be able to retire, when job-hunting young people who are saddled with mammoth education and government debt are protesting the clever profiteers at the top of the capitalist food chain, is it silly to ask if Tom Ricketts and Theo Epstein are appropriate heroes for the times?

In other words, how can you think about sports at a time like this asks the extremely rich, old, white, lazy sportswriter who doesn't have to even try to write a decent column to collect his giant paycheck anymore.

OCCUPY RICK TELANDER'S HOUSE!

[Quality Start Machine]

Twenty-two of the 29 paragraphs are one sentence. What the hell kind of writing is that?

Although in his defense, this BC-esque parasentence clocks in at 65 words"

At a time when the middle class is vanishing, when Baby Boomers are wondering how they're going to be able to retire, when job-hunting young people who are saddled with mammoth education and government debt are protesting the clever profiteers at the top of the capitalist food chain, is it silly to ask if Tom Ricketts and Theo Epstein are appropriate heroes for the times?

The Cubs won pennants in 1932, 1935 and 1938. Maybe the Cubs need a Great Depression to put a winner on the field. You ever think of that Rick?

[thehawk]

Twenty-two of the 29 paragraphs are one sentence. What the hell kind of writing is that?

Although in his defense, this BC-esque parasentence clocks in at 65 words"

At a time when the middle class is vanishing, when Baby Boomers are wondering how they're going to be able to retire, when job-hunting young people who are saddled with mammoth education and government debt are protesting the clever profiteers at the top of the capitalist food chain, is it silly to ask if Tom Ricketts and Theo Epstein are appropriate heroes for the times?

The Cubs won pennants in 1932, 1935 and 1938. Maybe the Cubs need a Great Depression to put a winner on the field. You ever think of that Rick?

Things weren't all that good in 1907 or 1908 either:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Panic_of_1907

guess we should root for the double dip.

[Brownie]

Twenty-two of the 29 paragraphs are one sentence. What the hell kind of writing is that?

Although in his defense, this BC-esque parasentence clocks in at 65 words"

At a time when the middle class is vanishing, when Baby Boomers are wondering how they're going to be able to retire, when job-hunting young people who are saddled with mammoth education and government debt are protesting the clever profiteers at the top of the capitalist food chain, is it silly to ask if Tom Ricketts and Theo Epstein are appropriate heroes for the times?

The Cubs won pennants in 1932, 1935 and 1938. Maybe the Cubs need a Great Depression to put a winner on the field. You ever think of that Rick?

Things weren't all that good in 1907 or 1908 either:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Panic_of_1907

guess we should root for the double dip.

Fuck! TARP screwed us in more ways than one!

On October 1, 2008, the Senate debated and voted on an amendment to H.R. 1424, which substituted a newly revised version of the Emergency Economic Stabilization Act of 2008 for the language of H.R. 1424.[6][7] The Senate accepted the amendment and passed the entire amended bill, voting 74–25.[8] Additional unrelated provisions added an estimated $150 billion to the cost of the package and increased the length of the bill to 451 pages.[9][10] (See Public Law 110-343 for details on the added provisions.) The amended version of H.R. 1424 was sent to the House for consideration, and on October 3, the House voted 263-171 to enact the bill into law.[6][11][12] President George W. Bush signed the bill into law within hours of its congressional enactment, creating the $700 billion Troubled Asset Relief Program (TARP) to purchase failing bank assets.[13]

Meanwhile, what happened in baseball on Oct. 1 and 2?

[CBStew]

Here's your Halloween scare, coutesy of Mr. Selig.

"Hoyer and Epstein also have one more day to work out a deal with Boston for compensation over the Epstein signing. Commissioner Bud Selig gave the two teams until Nov. 1 to cut a deal, threatening to become the sole arbiter if they could not get anything done."

The arrangement between the major league clubs must be a real winner if it gives the Commissioner to appoint himself as the "arbiter" with the power to make a final and binding decison on how to strip the Cubs of players/prospects.

[Saul Goodman]

Here's your Halloween scare, coutesy of Mr. Selig.

"Hoyer and Epstein also have one more day to work out a deal with Boston for compensation over the Epstein signing. Commissioner Bud Selig gave the two teams until Nov. 1 to cut a deal, threatening to become the sole arbiter if they could not get anything done."

The arrangement between the major league clubs must be a real winner if it gives the Commissioner to appoint himself as the "arbiter" with the power to make a final and binding decison on how to strip the Cubs of players/prospects.

If conventional wisdom is right (I hear you laughing), Selig won't let Boston have much for compensation since the league doesn't want to set a bad precedent for executives switching teams.  Might be a good thing if he takes over.  Maybe he'll just throw up his hands and declare a tie.

[Brownie]

Here's your Halloween scare, coutesy of Mr. Selig.

"Hoyer and Epstein also have one more day to work out a deal with Boston for compensation over the Epstein signing. Commissioner Bud Selig gave the two teams until Nov. 1 to cut a deal, threatening to become the sole arbiter if they could not get anything done."

The arrangement between the major league clubs must be a real winner if it gives the Commissioner to appoint himself as the "arbiter" with the power to make a final and binding decison on how to strip the Cubs of players/prospects.

If conventional wisdom is right (I hear you laughing), Selig won't let Boston have much for compensation since the league doesn't want to set a bad precedent for executives switching teams.  Might be a good thing if he takes over.  Maybe he'll just throw up his hands and declare a tie.

Intrepid Reader: BC

Bud Selig hates the Cubs, so he will order Starlin Castro and Matt Garza to go to the Red Sox and then make the Cubs pay the Cardinals and the Brewers $150 MM each so they can re-sign Pujols and Fielder.

[World's #1 Astros Fan]

Let's look again what Dallas Green did with the Cubs. They were more rancid and less interesting in 1981 than they were in 2011. True story. Green rebuilt them into a semi-contender in 1983 (they were a half game out of first on the morning of July 4th, as the Cubs evidently did get hotter than shit just so Lee Elia could shove it up the ass of the 5,000 nickel-dime people who showed up every day) and a division champion in 1984. This was a quick rebuild job, and by the end of 1988, only Sandberg, Sanderson and Rick Sutcliffe remained. In 1989, the Cubs reaped the true fruit of Dallas Green's system.

That's what to expect, ideally, with Epstein. Build a competitive team that could mount a run for a division title early, and then quietly build a pipeline of young talent to replace the aging team later. I don't think it's out of the question to sign Aramis, especially if Epstein has the freedom to pursue Fielder and a top-line starting pitcher.

THIS.

[Quality Start Machine]

Let's look again what Dallas Green did with the Cubs. They were more rancid and less interesting in 1981 than they were in 2011. True story. Green rebuilt them into a semi-contender in 1983 (they were a half game out of first on the morning of July 4th, as the Cubs evidently did get hotter than shit just so Lee Elia could shove it up the ass of the 5,000 nickel-dime people who showed up every day) and a division champion in 1984. This was a quick rebuild job, and by the end of 1988, only Sandberg, Sanderson and Rick Sutcliffe remained. In 1989, the Cubs reaped the true fruit of Dallas Green's system.

That's what to expect, ideally, with Epstein. Build a competitive team that could mount a run for a division title early, and then quietly build a pipeline of young talent to replace the aging team later. I don't think it's out of the question to sign Aramis, especially if Epstein has the freedom to pursue Fielder and a top-line starting pitcher.

THIS.

so when can we expect Larry Himes?

[SKO]

Let's look again what Dallas Green did with the Cubs. They were more rancid and less interesting in 1981 than they were in 2011. True story. Green rebuilt them into a semi-contender in 1983 (they were a half game out of first on the morning of July 4th, as the Cubs evidently did get hotter than shit just so Lee Elia could shove it up the ass of the 5,000 nickel-dime people who showed up every day) and a division champion in 1984. This was a quick rebuild job, and by the end of 1988, only Sandberg, Sanderson and Rick Sutcliffe remained. In 1989, the Cubs reaped the true fruit of Dallas Green's system.

That's what to expect, ideally, with Epstein. Build a competitive team that could mount a run for a division title early, and then quietly build a pipeline of young talent to replace the aging team later. I don't think it's out of the question to sign Aramis, especially if Epstein has the freedom to pursue Fielder and a top-line starting pitcher.

THIS.

I agree with the gist here. My stance on Theo is simple: I expect him to improve the Chicago Cubs immediately, but I also am willing to wait a few years to see how this plays out. The problem is that when this team goes 11-13 in April or whatever we all know the vast majority of idiots out there are going to spew the "same old Cubs" bile. The problem with TJ's Dallas Green analogy is exactly the fact that the idiots lost patience with the guy that actually had a plan and shit fell apart all over again. I fear this fanbase hasn't changed much, except to become even more impatient.