Theo Epstein Sploosh Thread

[J. Walter Weatherman]

Endorsed. I for one am glad Stew and Eli are here to keep us all from choking on Jepstink's breathtaking, veiny, throbbing members. I commend Stew for heeding Al Swearengen's advice and giving some back to the franchise that has beaten him down for longer than any of us:

Again, I should make it clear I think Jepstink is awesome. I think the longer-than-expected time to a good team is much more related to ownership than the front office. I really think Theo and Jed figured there would be more money to spend.

I guess I still don't really see who they would have spent the money on if they had it.

Good baseball players, ideally.

Fuck that. The best baseball players.

That's good stuff, guys. Good ideas all around.

Get good players! Who? The good ones.

Darvish and Cespedes are two that come to mind. Can't think of any Real Americans off the top of my head that would have been worth fat stacks.

I believe the Cubes were first runners up both of those guys.

Maybe they were outbid because they were handcuffed by ownership, maybe because Oopstink didn't value them quite as highly as Texas and Oakland. WHO COULD SAY FOR SURE?

[ChuckD]

Endorsed. I for one am glad Stew and Eli are here to keep us all from choking on Jepstink's breathtaking, veiny, throbbing members. I commend Stew for heeding Al Swearengen's advice and giving some back to the franchise that has beaten him down for longer than any of us:

Again, I should make it clear I think Jepstink is awesome. I think the longer-than-expected time to a good team is much more related to ownership than the front office. I really think Theo and Jed figured there would be more money to spend.

I guess I still don't really see who they would have spent the money on if they had it.

Good baseball players, ideally.

Fuck that. The best baseball players.

That's good stuff, guys. Good ideas all around.

Get good players! Who? The good ones.

Darvish and Cespedes are two that come to mind. Can't think of any Real Americans off the top of my head that would have been worth fat stacks.

Choo would be pretty great. He'd be like Fukudome except better and more Korean.

[Eli]

Endorsed. I for one am glad Stew and Eli are here to keep us all from choking on Jepstink's breathtaking, veiny, throbbing members. I commend Stew for heeding Al Swearengen's advice and giving some back to the franchise that has beaten him down for longer than any of us:

Again, I should make it clear I think Jepstink is awesome. I think the longer-than-expected time to a good team is much more related to ownership than the front office. I really think Theo and Jed figured there would be more money to spend.

I guess I still don't really see who they would have spent the money on if they had it.

Good baseball players, ideally.

Fuck that. The best baseball players.

That's good stuff, guys. Good ideas all around.

Get good players! Who? The good ones.

Darvish and Cespedes are two that come to mind. Can't think of any Real Americans off the top of my head that would have been worth fat stacks.

I believe the Cubes were first runners up both of those guys.

Maybe they were outbid because they were handcuffed by ownership, maybe because Oopstink didn't value them quite as highly as Texas and Oakland. WHO COULD SAY FOR SURE?

My hunch (or what I'd like to believe) is the bolded part. They were also the runner-up for Puig. And they would have had Anibal Sanchez instead of Edwin Jackson if there was a few million more available.

I said I wasn't going to do this.

[Slaky]

Endorsed. I for one am glad Stew and Eli are here to keep us all from choking on Jepstink's breathtaking, veiny, throbbing members. I commend Stew for heeding Al Swearengen's advice and giving some back to the franchise that has beaten him down for longer than any of us:

Again, I should make it clear I think Jepstink is awesome. I think the longer-than-expected time to a good team is much more related to ownership than the front office. I really think Theo and Jed figured there would be more money to spend.

I guess I still don't really see who they would have spent the money on if they had it.

Good baseball players, ideally.

Fuck that. The best baseball players.

That's good stuff, guys. Good ideas all around.

Get good players! Who? The good ones.

Darvish and Cespedes are two that come to mind. Can't think of any Real Americans off the top of my head that would have been worth fat stacks.

It would have been pretty cool to have Darvish.

[J. Walter Weatherman]

...and furthermore,  I watch what Oakland has been doing for years.  There is more to it than parsimony.  (I think that's the word.)  If Brad Pitt can produce a winner on a shoestring, why can't Epstein/Hoyer?  And if you tell me that it is a few years away, at my age that is like saying that they can't.

But the A's were trying to win as many games as they could, so they did their best with that shoestring budget. The Cubs don't give a shit about winning more regular season games, they're trying to win championships. Fielding a team that's over 500 but not in the playoffs means they don't get a shot at players like Kris Bryant. At least it's a plan.

Plus, every penny they don't spend in 2012-2015 is a penny more they can spend on some shitty, too-old second baseman free agent when the Cubs look like they might be good in 2016.

CANO 2018 2024!!!

It's not the money it's the years'd

[Slaky]

Endorsed. I for one am glad Stew and Eli are here to keep us all from choking on Jepstink's breathtaking, veiny, throbbing members. I commend Stew for heeding Al Swearengen's advice and giving some back to the franchise that has beaten him down for longer than any of us:

Again, I should make it clear I think Jepstink is awesome. I think the longer-than-expected time to a good team is much more related to ownership than the front office. I really think Theo and Jed figured there would be more money to spend.

I guess I still don't really see who they would have spent the money on if they had it.

Good baseball players, ideally.

Fuck that. The best baseball players.

That's good stuff, guys. Good ideas all around.

Get good players! Who? The good ones.

Darvish and Cespedes are two that come to mind. Can't think of any Real Americans off the top of my head that would have been worth fat stacks.

I believe the Cubes were first runners up both of those guys.

Maybe they were outbid because they were handcuffed by ownership, maybe because Oopstink didn't value them quite as highly as Texas and Oakland. WHO COULD SAY FOR SURE?

My hunch (or what I'd like to believe) is the bolded part. They were also the runner-up for Puig. And they would have had Anibal Sanchez instead of Edwin Jackson if there was a few million more available.

I said I wasn't going to do this.

I didn't ask you to do it to mock you. I asked because I was curious.

Now we are conversing, you see?

[ChuckD]

...and furthermore,  I watch what Oakland has been doing for years.  There is more to it than parsimony.  (I think that's the word.)  If Brad Pitt can produce a winner on a shoestring, why can't Epstein/Hoyer?  And if you tell me that it is a few years away, at my age that is like saying that they can't.

But the A's were trying to win as many games as they could, so they did their best with that shoestring budget. The Cubs don't give a shit about winning more regular season games, they're trying to win championships. Fielding a team that's over 500 but not in the playoffs means they don't get a shot at players like Kris Bryant. At least it's a plan.

Plus, every penny they don't spend in 2012-2015 is a penny more they can spend on some shitty, too-old second baseman free agent when the Cubs look like they might be good in 2016.

CANO 2018 2024!!!

It's not the money it's the years'd

I'm not one to complain about baseball players making a lot of money, but I wouldn't mind see him getting slapped down to 9 yrs / 200 million out of principle. WHO SAYS "I REALLY NEED YOU TO PAY ME ANOTHER $25 MILLION DOLLARS WHEN I'M 40 AND SLOW AND BROKEN AND SHITTY SO FUCK YOUR 9 YRS AND $225 MILLION?"

Edit: GODDAMMIT, MARINERS. 10yrs/$240MM

[J. Walter Weatherman]

...and furthermore,  I watch what Oakland has been doing for years.  There is more to it than parsimony.  (I think that's the word.)  If Brad Pitt can produce a winner on a shoestring, why can't Epstein/Hoyer?  And if you tell me that it is a few years away, at my age that is like saying that they can't.

But the A's were trying to win as many games as they could, so they did their best with that shoestring budget. The Cubs don't give a shit about winning more regular season games, they're trying to win championships. Fielding a team that's over 500 but not in the playoffs means they don't get a shot at players like Kris Bryant. At least it's a plan.

Plus, every penny they don't spend in 2012-2015 is a penny more they can spend on some shitty, too-old second baseman free agent when the Cubs look like they might be good in 2016.

CANO 2018 2024!!!

It's not the money it's the years'd

I'm not one to complain about baseball players making a lot of money, but I wouldn't mind see him getting slapped down to 9 yrs / 200 million out of principle. WHO SAYS "I REALLY NEED YOU TO PAY ME ANOTHER $25 MILLION DOLLARS WHEN I'M 40 AND SLOW AND BROKEN AND SHITTY SO FUCK YOUR 9 YRS AND $225 MILLION?"

Who says that? A guy who's now getting 10 years/$240MM, that's who.

[Eli]

Sorry, Chuck.

[ChuckD]

...and furthermore,  I watch what Oakland has been doing for years.  There is more to it than parsimony.  (I think that's the word.)  If Brad Pitt can produce a winner on a shoestring, why can't Epstein/Hoyer?  And if you tell me that it is a few years away, at my age that is like saying that they can't.

But the A's were trying to win as many games as they could, so they did their best with that shoestring budget. The Cubs don't give a shit about winning more regular season games, they're trying to win championships. Fielding a team that's over 500 but not in the playoffs means they don't get a shot at players like Kris Bryant. At least it's a plan.

Plus, every penny they don't spend in 2012-2015 is a penny more they can spend on some shitty, too-old second baseman free agent when the Cubs look like they might be good in 2016.

CANO 2018 2024!!!

It's not the money it's the years'd

I'm not one to complain about baseball players making a lot of money, but I wouldn't mind see him getting slapped down to 9 yrs / 200 million out of principle. WHO SAYS "I REALLY NEED YOU TO PAY ME ANOTHER $25 MILLION DOLLARS WHEN I'M 40 AND SLOW AND BROKEN AND SHITTY SO FUCK YOUR 9 YRS AND $225 MILLION?"

Who says that? A guy who's now getting 10 years/$240MM, that's who.

I'M SURE THEY'LL BE VERY SATISFIED WITH HIS PERFORMANCE AND NOT REGRET GIVING HIM A QUARTER OF A BILLION DOLLARS AT ALL.

[Slaky]

And Granderson gets 4 years from the Mets.

[PenFoe]

And Feldmania gets 3/$30 from the Astros and will likely be their Opening Day starter.

Baseball is a hell of a thing.

[Eli]

I didn't realize that Felix was the only Mariner under contract after 2014. The contract is insane, of course, but it explains why they had so much to spend. Sounds like they're going to go hard after David Price now.

[PenFoe]

I didn't realize that Felix was the only Mariner under contract after 2014. The contract is insane, of course, but it explains why they had so much to spend. Sounds like they're going to go hard after David Price now.

But WE were supposed to get David Price!

[Internet Apex]

I didn't realize that Felix was the only Mariner under contract after 2014. The contract is insane, of course, but it explains why they had so much to spend. Sounds like they're going to go hard after David Price now.

But WE were supposed to get David Price!

WE'll get nothing and like it.