Theo Epstein Sploosh Thread

[InternetApex]

If someone actually enjoys the losing even a little bit, they're not a Cubs fan.

In general, yes. But I enjoyed the shit out of the 2004 team's collapse.

Ah, Jesus, Chuck.  I fucking hated that team, but I'd still have loved to see them win it all.

Yes, I would have loved to have seen that, too.  But it didn't hai. And once the shit hit the fan in Shea, I was glad to see those cocksuckers collapse.  And very glad that Kent Mercker wouldn't forever be a "Cub Hero."

Cocksuckers like Kerry Wood, Mark Prior, Sammy Sosa, Derrick Lee, Aramis Ramirez, Greg Maddux, Matt Clement, Nomar Garciaparra, Moises Alou etc... You were glad to see those guys collapse because something something Kent Mercker and Dusty Baker? No you weren't. I'm not buying revisionist Chuck's 2004 fantasy at all.

I was fucking DEVASTATED. It was worse for me than the 2003 loss 1.) because it was compounded and 2.) Because at least in 2003 I had the joy of seeing them win the Central and the Division Series. Also my mom died in August of 2004 and I was in a bit of a funk. Locking myself in my room with some beer and a bowl and watching or listening to the game was about all I had going on. I drove pretty far with a decent piss on after one of those losses not really caring what happened to me. Not proud of that.

[PenFoe]

If someone actually enjoys the losing even a little bit, they're not a Cubs fan.

In general, yes. But I enjoyed the shit out of the 2004 team's collapse.

Ah, Jesus, Chuck.  I fucking hated that team, but I'd still have loved to see them win it all.

Yes, I would have loved to have seen that, too.  But it didn't hai. And once the shit hit the fan in Shea, I was glad to see those cocksuckers collapse.  And very glad that Kent Mercker wouldn't forever be a "Cub Hero."

Cocksuckers like Kerry Wood, Mark Prior, Sammy Sosa, Derrick Lee, Aramis Ramirez, Greg Maddux, Matt Clement, Nomar Garciaparra, Moises Alou etc... You were glad to see those guys collapse because something something Kent Mercker and Dusty Baker? No you weren't. I'm not buying revisionist Chuck's 2004 fantasy at all.

I was fucking DEVASTATED. It was worse for me than the 2003 loss 1.) because it was compounded and 2.) Because at least in 2003 I had the joy of seeing them win the Central and the Division Series. Also my mom died in August of 2004 and I was in a bit of a funk. Locking myself in my room with some beer and a bowl and watching or listening to the game was about all I had going on. I drove pretty far with a decent piss on after one of those losses not really caring what happened to me. Not proud of that.

It's too bad you didn't drive right through Chuck's fucking living room.

[Eli]

This may actually be No. 1 on BuzzFeed's list of 79 Infuriating Chuckisms You'll Never Believe.

Accompanying .gif:

[Bort]

Jesus fucking Christ Holy fucking Moses, Chuck. Who the fuck threw rocks at the hornets' nest you use in place of a brain when you log on to the Internet? The 2004 collapse was one of the hardest cockpunches I've had as a Cubs fan. Before it happened, what in the name of hell was so wrong with that team that you would feel schadenfreude at what happened?

[Slaky]

I just caught up here. Only thing that I can surmise is that Chuck is lying and just gets super hard over making us all angry.

[Chuck to Chuck]

The 2004 collapse was one of the hardest cockpunches I've had as a Cubs fan.

So, a team 13 games out of first when the collapse started, despite coming off a previous year division winner and adding Greg Maddux and Derrek Lee was a bigger cockpunch than Florida and San Diego?  5 outs and 12 outs from a pennant hurt LESS than losing a wild card?

Okay.

[Eli]

The 2004 collapse was one of the hardest cockpunches I've had as a Cubs fan.

So, a team 13 games out of first when the collapse started, despite coming off a previous year division winner and adding Greg Maddux and Derrek Lee was a bigger cockpunch than Florida and San Diego?  5 outs and 12 outs from a pennant hurt LESS than losing a wild card?

Okay.

[CubFaninHydePark]

Garza to the Algonquin's "good land" for $12.5 million/year for four years.  How much of those 4 years will be spent on the DL?

[InternetApex]

The 2004 collapse was one of the hardest cockpunches I've had as a Cubs fan.

So, a team 13 games out of first when the collapse started, despite coming off a previous year division winner and adding Greg Maddux and Derrek Lee was a bigger cockpunch than Florida and San Diego?  5 outs and 12 outs from a pennant hurt LESS than losing a wild card?

Okay.

Yeah, cuz Wild Card teams only win the World Series once every few years. Who's to say that would of been one of those years?

[J. Walter Weatherman]

The key to understanding Chuck is that he doesn't really enjoy sports.

[Yeti]

The key to understanding Chuck is that he doesn't really enjoy sports.

Besides Pixar movies, I can't come up with anything he actually likes.

[World's #1 Astros Fan]

The 2004 collapse was one of the hardest cockpunches I've had as a Cubs fan.

So, a team 13 games out of first when the collapse started, despite coming off a previous year division winner and adding Greg Maddux and Derrek Lee was a bigger cockpunch than Florida and San Diego?  5 outs and 12 outs from a pennant hurt LESS than losing a wild card?

Okay.

Solipsistic Chuck also assumes Bort was old enough to remember '84, which I don't believe he was.

Unless he's mining through cultural memory, in which case I'd ask him how Hack Wilson losing a ball in the sun in the '29 Series, precipitating a blown 8-0 lead rates, or where he'd put the Cubs wasting Stan Hack's leadoff triple against the Tigers in '35.

[World's #1 Astros Fan]

I assume that, following this...ahem..."logic"...that Chuck also enjoyed the shit out of Bartman reaching for a souvenir and Alex Gonzalez flubbing a chance to bail him out.

And Leon Durham's error in '84?  Bigger celebration than his Bar Mitzvah.

#Chuckworld

[CT III]

The 2004 collapse was one of the hardest cockpunches I've had as a Cubs fan.

So, a team 13 games out of first when the collapse started, despite coming off a previous year division winner and adding Greg Maddux and Derrek Lee was a bigger cockpunch than Florida and San Diego?  5 outs and 12 outs from a pennant hurt LESS than losing a wild card?

Okay.

Solipsistic Chuck also assumes Bort was old enough to remember '84, which I don't believe he was.

Unless he's mining through cultural memory, in which case I'd ask him how Hack Wilson losing a ball in the sun in the '29 Series, precipitating a blown 8-0 lead rates, or where he'd put the Cubs wasting Stan Hack's leadoff triple against the Tigers in '35.

I'm pretty sure Bort's right around the same age as me, and that he remembers it.

[SKO]

The 2004 collapse was one of the hardest cockpunches I've had as a Cubs fan.

So, a team 13 games out of first when the collapse started, despite coming off a previous year division winner and adding Greg Maddux and Derrek Lee was a bigger cockpunch than Florida and San Diego?  5 outs and 12 outs from a pennant hurt LESS than losing a wild card?

Okay.

Solipsistic Chuck also assumes Bort was old enough to remember '84, which I don't believe he was.

Unless he's mining through cultural memory, in which case I'd ask him how Hack Wilson losing a ball in the sun in the '29 Series, precipitating a blown 8-0 lead rates, or where he'd put the Cubs wasting Stan Hack's leadoff triple against the Tigers in '35.

I'm pretty sure Bort's right around the same age as me, and that he remembers it.

I don't remember it, but had I been alive I doubt my response before game five would have been "fuck you people, you should have won game four. You deserve this fate" because I'm not a crazy evil bastard.