Week 13: In which we don't jump around like a bunch of Kansas City Palkos

[CT III]

ACL and MCL is the rumor I just heard about through an e-mail. I don't know the difference between just tearing one and tearing two, but I know that anything-CL being torn isn't good at all.

Thanks for the laugh on this sad afternoon, CT.

Ouch?

I thought BC was one of your Internet characters.

Nah, for extra cash I sold all my characters to all comers.  BC is now the intellectual property of The Hallmark Channel.

I did retain animation rights, however.

[CubFaninHydePark]

It's better for Caleb Hanie's sake that he didn't lead the comeback against GB last year. The things the Steelers defense would've done to him in the Super Bowl would have caused him permanent anal soreness and kept him from ever looking at himself in the mirror again.

This is all Johnny Knox's fault for not knowing how to make a cut on a route. After his performance today, I wouldn't really mind if he never dressed as a Bear again. But this was about as shitty of a way to lose as possible. Time to play for a not-entirely-shitty draft pick.

[Internet Apex]

And to top it all off, my ex fiancee is dating Todd Walker AND Matt Murton. Todd bangs her on weekends and Murton reads the Bible and jacks off with her through the week.

[BC]

Murton reads the Bible and jacks off with her through the week.

I'm amazed that he can do both those things at the same time.

[Internet Apex]

Murton reads the Bible and jacks off with her through the week.

I'm amazed that he can do both those things at the same time.

And despite that rare gift, he can't get past first base with her even though teh Paul's Doppelganger is bending her up like a pretzel every weekend. What a twink.

[CubFaninHydePark]

Falcons lost. Giants lost. Cowboys lost. No pressure from the East or West. It might be really ugly, but it's still entirely possible to win one or two more games and back into the playoffs.

[BC]

Falcons lost. Giants lost. Cowboys lost. No pressure from the East or West. It might be really ugly, but it's still entirely possible to win one or two more games and back into the playoffs.

Don't do this. Please. I speak from experience. All you'll end up doing is pissing yourself off in the short-term and, one day in the longer-term future, you'll look in the mirror and wonder why you hate yourself so damn much.

[J. Walter Weatherman]

Falcons lost. Giants lost. Cowboys lost. No pressure from the East or West. It might be really ugly, but it's still entirely possible to win one or two more games and back into the playoffs.

Don't do this. Please. I speak from experience.

TOO MANY EXPERIENCE.

[SKO]

Falcons lost. Giants lost. Cowboys lost. No pressure from the East or West. It might be really ugly, but it's still entirely possible to win one or two more games and back into the playoffs.

Don't do this. Please. I speak from experience.

TOO MANY EXPERIENCE.

I definitely have not seen this before. In my lifetime (so before the inevitable Huey WHAT ABOUT 1986 CHARLES MARTIN anecdote) I've never seen a Bears team that looked so promising completely go into the shitter thanks to the loss of its star QB and RB. Mostly because for most of my life there've been neither promising Bears teams, star QBs, or star RBs.

[Internet Apex]

Falcons lost. Giants lost. Cowboys lost. No pressure from the East or West. It might be really ugly, but it's still entirely possible to win one or two more games and back into the playoffs.

Don't do this. Please. I speak from experience.

TOO MANY EXPERIENCE.

I definitely have not seen this before. In my lifetime (so before the inevitable Huey WHAT ABOUT 1986 CHARLES MARTIN anecdote) I've never seen a Bears team that looked so promising completely go into the shitter thanks to the loss of its star QB and RB. Mostly because for most of my life there've been neither promising Bears teams, star QBs, or star RBs.

Erik Kramer and Curtis Enis say hi. What should I tell them?

[SKO]

Falcons lost. Giants lost. Cowboys lost. No pressure from the East or West. It might be really ugly, but it's still entirely possible to win one or two more games and back into the playoffs.

Don't do this. Please. I speak from experience.

TOO MANY EXPERIENCE.

I definitely have not seen this before. In my lifetime (so before the inevitable Huey WHAT ABOUT 1986 CHARLES MARTIN anecdote) I've never seen a Bears team that looked so promising completely go into the shitter thanks to the loss of its star QB and RB. Mostly because for most of my life there've been neither promising Bears teams, star QBs, or star RBs.

Erik Kramer and Curtis Enis say hi. What should I tell them?

Tell Erik I said I'm very sorry about the death of his son. Tell Curtis that I'll have him fired the next time he puts mayonnaise on my burger.

[BC]

I was speaking more about the tendency to talk yourself into still believing in the team even when all the evidence suggests not to.

It just isn't healthy.

[Internet Apex]

Falcons lost. Giants lost. Cowboys lost. No pressure from the East or West. It might be really ugly, but it's still entirely possible to win one or two more games and back into the playoffs.

Don't do this. Please. I speak from experience.

TOO MANY EXPERIENCE.

I definitely have not seen this before. In my lifetime (so before the inevitable Huey WHAT ABOUT 1986 CHARLES MARTIN anecdote) I've never seen a Bears team that looked so promising completely go into the shitter thanks to the loss of its star QB and RB. Mostly because for most of my life there've been neither promising Bears teams, star QBs, or star RBs.

Erik Kramer and Curtis Enis say hi. What should I tell them?

Tell Erik I said I'm very sorry about the death of his son. Tell Curtis that I'll have him fired the next time he puts mayonnaise on my burger.

Cool. Curtis is supposed to text me as soon as my ex gets done rimming him.

[CubFaninHydePark]

Falcons lost. Giants lost. Cowboys lost. No pressure from the East or West. It might be really ugly, but it's still entirely possible to win one or two more games and back into the playoffs.

Don't do this. Please. I speak from experience. All you'll end up doing is pissing yourself off in the short-term and, one day in the longer-term future, you'll look in the mirror and wonder why you hate yourself so damn much.

I'm just saying--if Michael Turner and Julio Jones stay hurt, and if the Cowboys go 2-0 against the Giants, and if the Bears simply don't lose track of WR's against Denver like the Vikings did today...

I don't expect this team to win in the playoffs. I'm just saying it's eminently believable to see 2 of the 4 teams in the wild card hunt doing as bad or worse than the Bears, especially when the Giants are starting at a game disadvantage.

[Internet Apex]

Falcons lost. Giants lost. Cowboys lost. No pressure from the East or West. It might be really ugly, but it's still entirely possible to win one or two more games and back into the playoffs.

Don't do this. Please. I speak from experience. All you'll end up doing is pissing yourself off in the short-term and, one day in the longer-term future, you'll look in the mirror and wonder why you hate yourself so damn much.

If all the teams in the hunt somehow lose all the rest of their games, I think the Bears will get in. I don't know if that's possible or not, but I will surely "crunch" the numbers and not get back to you on it.

*hat tip to JD for that line. It will never be unfunny to me.

I'm just saying--if Michael Turner and Julio Jones stay hurt, and if the Cowboys go 2-0 against the Giants, and if the Bears simply don't lose track of WR's against Denver like the Vikings did today...

I don't expect this team to win in the playoffs. I'm just saying it's eminently believable to see 2 of the 4 teams in the wild card hunt doing as bad or worse than the Bears, especially when the Giants are starting at a game disadvantage.