Let's look forward to the Cardinals Methocalypse

[Slaky]

I know we call them the Satanic Fowl, but can anyone prove that they haven't sold their souls to some sort of Baseball Satan?

Xavier Scruggs.

[Powdered Toast Man]

That sure was nice of the ESPN announcers to whitewash the role Oscar Taveras's poor decisionmaking and .287 BAC played in the "tragic" but super inspirational car crash that is directly responsible for Carlos Martinez being so great.

It's ESPN...awful is what they do. And they do it well.

[World's #1 Astros Fan]

I know we call them the Satanic Fowl, but can anyone prove that they haven't sold their souls to some sort of Baseball Satan?

Xavier Scruggs.

Seriously....following the games all weekend and I had,at one point, though to myself "Xavier Scruggs"  is such a typical Cardinals' name.  Where do they find these fucking people?

[Slaky]

I know we call them the Satanic Fowl, but can anyone prove that they haven't sold their souls to some sort of Baseball Satan?

Xavier Scruggs.

Seriously....following the games all weekend and I had,at one point, though to myself "Xavier Scruggs"  is such a typical Cardinals' name.  Where do they find these fucking people?

They spawn from a demon portal that casts from the Arch during lightning storms and when the Cubs leave town they lurch underground only to reappear just in time for the next Cubs series.

Watch this fuckhead go 0-16 against the White Sox or something.

[InternetApex]

I know we call them the Satanic Fowl, but can anyone prove that they haven't sold their souls to some sort of Baseball Satan?

Xavier Scruggs.

Seriously....following the games all weekend and I had,at one point, though to myself "Xavier Scruggs"  is such a typical Cardinals' name.  Where do they find these fucking people?

Were you aware that he's black? If I hadn't seen it, I wouldn't have believed it.

[World's #1 Astros Fan]

I know we call them the Satanic Fowl, but can anyone prove that they haven't sold their souls to some sort of Baseball Satan?

Xavier Scruggs.

Seriously....following the games all weekend and I had,at one point, though to myself "Xavier Scruggs"  is such a typical Cardinals' name.  Where do they find these fucking people?

Were you aware that he's black? If I hadn't seen it, I wouldn't have believed it.

This is the first I'm learning of this.

[Saul Goodman]

Because of course he will.

[Saul Goodman]

DPD. In our hour of darkness (damn it), at least we can enjoy the Best Fans' butthurt from Kris Bryant's All-Star triumph over the forces of evil, i.e. Matt Carpenter.  Kris's dreamy eyes beat Bogdan's brows any day, Methheads.

[Saul Goodman]

TPD. I love baseball. Baseball is great.

[SKO]

The Cardinals broadcasters endless butthurt over that Russell single (that was fucking fair) will fuel me for days

[World's #1 Astros Fan]

The Cardinals broadcasters endless butthurt over that Russell single (that was fucking fair) will fuel me for days

Walking down Clark St. after the game toward my car, I overheard a couple of butthurt Cardinals mentioning that the Cubs "should *expect* to beat two minor-league pitchers". I was going to point out that the Cubs rolled out a minor league pitcher too, but with my son on my shoulders and the cross-street where I was turning off of approaching, I figured it'd be just more enjoyable to soak up the glorious butthurt in silence.

[SKO]

The Cardinals broadcasters endless butthurt over that Russell single (that was fucking fair) will fuel me for days

Walking down Clark St. after the game toward my car, I overheard a couple of butthurt Cardinals mentioning that the Cubs "should *expect* to beat two minor-league pitchers". I was going to point out that the Cubs rolled out a minor league pitcher too, but with my son on my shoulders and the cross-street where I was turning off of approaching, I figured it'd be just more enjoyable to soak up the glorious butthurt in silence.

I just don't even engage with Cardinals fans. There is no joy to ever be derived from the exercise in any fashion. Best to just enjoy the company of the nine billion people on twitter who hate the Cardinals instead.

[ChuckD]

The Cardinals broadcasters endless butthurt over that Russell single (that was fucking fair) will fuel me for days

I really want to hear it, but don't know what you were listening to. I can't find the endless butthurt. The two TV guys were iffy on it, but no real butthurt. Both radio guys thought it was fair.

[SKO]

The Cardinals broadcasters endless butthurt over that Russell single (that was fucking fair) will fuel me for days

I really want to hear it, but don't know what you were listening to. I can't find the endless butthurt. The two TV guys were iffy on it, but no real butthurt. Both radio guys thought it was fair.

I was watching the FSN Midwest feed. It was pretty amusing, they both said it was obviously foul to begin with, then retracted their statements once it the initial replay was obviously fair or at worst too close to call.

Then the Cubs took the lead and through the subsequent innings there was a slow build until that call became second only to Denkinger. The initial reaction was admittedly tame.

[Tonker]

The Cardinals broadcasters endless butthurt over that Russell single (that was fucking fair) will fuel me for days

I really want to hear it, but don't know what you were listening to. I can't find the endless butthurt. The two TV guys were iffy on it, but no real butthurt. Both radio guys thought it was fair.

I was watching the FSN Midwest feed. It was pretty amusing, they both said it was obviously foul to begin with, then retracted their statements once it the initial replay was obviously fair or at worst too close to call.

Then the Cubs took the lead and through the subsequent innings there was a slow build until that call became second only to Denkinger. The initial reaction was admittedly tame.

When I got to that part of the game, I switched feeds so I could listen to it.  One of them said it was fair, and subsequently changed his mind to foul, and the other said it was foul, and subsequently changed his mind to fair.  In any event, I thought butthurt was disappointingly thin on the ground.  They did, though, completely miss the fact that Maness had been ejected (as did Matheny), something that Len and JD identified as soon as it happened.