Let's look forward to the Cardinals Methocalypse

[Oleg]

Yeah, yeah...it's a Cardinal.  But what a goddamn backwards policy.

[Saul Goodman]

Yeah, yeah...it's a Cardinal.  But what a goddamn backwards policy.

Weed?  Come on, Alex.  You could have had your teammates wearing black "AR" patches on their uniforms, all season long, had you gotten yourself plastered and killed your girlfriend instead.  Nice choice, asshole.

[Bort]

Yeah, yeah...it's a Cardinal.  But what a goddamn backwards policy.

Weed?  Come on, Alex.  You could have had your teammates wearing black "AR" patches on their uniforms, all season long, had you gotten yourself plastered and killed your girlfriend instead.  Nice choice, asshole.

A performance de-hancing drug gets 50 games? That's dumb as hell.

[Tonker]

Yeah, yeah...it's a Cardinal.  But what a goddamn backwards policy.

Weed?  Come on, Alex.  You could have had your teammates wearing black "AR" patches on their uniforms, all season long, had you gotten yourself plastered and killed your girlfriend instead.  Nice choice, asshole.

A performance de-hancing drug gets 50 games? That's dumb as hell.

I believe the word is "unhancing".

[Quality Start Machine]

Yeah, yeah...it's a Cardinal.  But what a goddamn backwards policy.

Weed?  Come on, Alex.  You could have had your teammates wearing black "AR" patches on their uniforms, all season long, had you gotten yourself plastered and killed your girlfriend instead.  Nice choice, asshole.

A performance de-hancing drug gets 50 games? That's dumb as hell.

I believe the word is "unhancing".

Looking forward to seeing him in a battery with Geo Soto.

[Quality Start Machine]

DPD

2016 just got a lot less fun.

[InternetApex]

DPD

2016 just got a lot less fun.

Not sure why. This could motivate the Cards to re-sign Lackey, which would improve my quality of life slightly.

[Quality Start Machine]

DPD

2016 just got a lot less fun.

Not sure why. This could motivate the Cards to re-sign Lackey, which would improve my quality of life slightly.

Has anybody other than Crazy Rumor Guy mentioned what Lackey's looking for? All I've seen is Crazy Rumor Guy saying 3/50. Which I would positive, as long as the top of the paycheck says anything other than "Chicago Cubs".

[Saul Goodman]

Fact: Jedd Gyorko sucks. But just wait until he taps in to the St. Louis HGH supply.

[Saul Goodman]

U mad?

[Bort]

The Germans have a word for this.

[PenFoe]

But hey, at least they got Jonathan Broxton.

[Saul Goodman]

There are much worse uses for the Ricketts' money than provoking epic Cardinal Nation butthurt. Like this column, which says the Cardinals can easily replace Jason Heyward's terrible terrible bat with Jedd Gyorko. I'm typing this from the hospital because I passed out from laughing too hard.

[InternetApex]

There are much worse uses for the Ricketts' money than provoking epic Cardinal Nation butthurt. Like this column, which says the Cardinals can easily replace Jason Heyward's terrible terrible bat with Jedd Gyorko. I'm typing this from the hospital because I passed out from laughing too hard.

Jedd Gyrkoff.

[SKO]

These fucking people: http://www.stlsportspage.com/CARDSBASEBALL/tabid/91/entryid/3394/cardinals-should-thank-heyward-for-turning-down-their-offer.aspx

Heyward is not worth that kind of money. Based on the track record of his major-league career, there is no reason to expect him to be more than what he has been – an excellent defensive outfielder, perhaps the best in the game, but nothing more than a very good hitter.

YEAH WHY WOULD HE BE WORTH THE MONEY HE'S JUST THE BEST DEFENSIVE PLAYER IN THE GAME WHO ALSO HAPPENS TO BE A VERY GOOD HITTER FUCK IT STEPHEN PISCOTTY IS  WHITE AND BETTER AND Y'ALL KNOW IT