Let's look forward to the Cardinals Methocalypse

[Quality Start Machine]

Reds up 7-0 headed into the 7th. Go Reds!

Also, nothing new here, but Joey Votto is awesome. He's hitting .500/.605/.759 since the ASB. And yet Marty/Thom hate him because he only has 12 RBIs over that span.

They had to take a breather from bitching about his walks.

[Oleg]

Anyone notice that the 2015 dROY has been sent down for a second time?

[SKO]

So last Saturday the Cardinals needed only to beat Andrew Cashner to cut it to 5.5 games, with a game against a Marlins spot starter to follow and then 6 straight against the Reds and Braves. My ass was clenched so tight I'd crush coal into Diamonds. Brian Matusz sent me into a fit of hysteria.

The Cardinals then dropped 6 of those 8 games and are 11.5 games back. Lolz.

[Quality Start Machine]

Please, just fuck these guys. They're already 4 behind in the loss column to the Cubs, and they are only going to fall further behind.

At this point they're going to have to duke it out for the Seligcard. They don't fucking matter.

[World's #1 Astros Fan]

So last Saturday the Cardinals needed only to beat Andrew Cashner Colin Rea, who was injured in his 3rd inning as a Marlin before being sent back to San Diego to cut it to 5.5 games, with a game against a Marlins spot starter to follow and then 6 straight against the Reds and Braves. My ass was clenched so tight I'd crush coal into Diamonds. Brian Matusz sent me into a fit of hysteria.

The Cardinals then dropped 6 of those 8 games and are 11.5 games back. Lolz.

For accuracy's sake'd.

[Oleg]

So last Saturday the Cardinals needed only to beat Andrew Cashner to cut it to 5.5 games, with a game against a Marlins spot starter to follow and then 6 straight against the Reds and Braves. My ass was clenched so tight I'd crush coal into Diamonds. Brian Matusz sent me into a fit of hysteria.

The Cardinals then dropped 6 of those 8 games and are 11.5 games back. Lolz.

You don't say...

[SKO]

So last Saturday the Cardinals needed only to beat Andrew Cashner to cut it to 5.5 games, with a game against a Marlins spot starter to follow and then 6 straight against the Reds and Braves. My ass was clenched so tight I'd crush coal into Diamonds. Brian Matusz sent me into a fit of hysteria.

The Cardinals then dropped 6 of those 8 games and are 11.5 games back. Lolz.

You don't say...

You know when I'm being self-aware of how much of a panicky moron I am you don't actually have to point out that I was being a panicky moron. I just copped to it.

[Oleg]

So last Saturday the Cardinals needed only to beat Andrew Cashner to cut it to 5.5 games, with a game against a Marlins spot starter to follow and then 6 straight against the Reds and Braves. My ass was clenched so tight I'd crush coal into Diamonds. Brian Matusz sent me into a fit of hysteria.

The Cardinals then dropped 6 of those 8 games and are 11.5 games back. Lolz.

You don't say...

You know when I'm being self-aware of how much of a panicky moron I am you don't actually have to point out that I was being a panicky moron. I just copped to it.

That's probably true.

[Quality Start Machine]

So last Saturday the Cardinals needed only to beat Andrew Cashner to cut it to 5.5 games, with a game against a Marlins spot starter to follow and then 6 straight against the Reds and Braves. My ass was clenched so tight I'd crush coal into Diamonds. Brian Matusz sent me into a fit of hysteria.

The Cardinals then dropped 6 of those 8 games and are 11.5 games back. Lolz.

You don't say...

He was intrigued by your tight ass.

You know when I'm being self-aware of how much of a panicky moron I am you don't actually have to point out that I was being a panicky moron. I just copped to it.

[Saul Goodman]

Currently 4-0 Reds in the third inning against Michael Wacha. Full-fledged panic may be setting in for #CardinalNation at #BushStadium.

[Yeti]

Currently 4-0 Reds in the third inning against Michael Wacha. Full-fledged panic may be setting in for #CardinalNation at #BushStadium.

4-4, Saul Fork

[Yeti]

Currently 4-0 Reds in the third inning against Michael Wacha. Full-fledged panic may be setting in for #CardinalNation at #BushStadium.

4-4, Saul Fork

5-4 Cardinals. Stop picking up fork's bad habits

[Saul Goodman]

Currently 4-0 Reds in the third inning against Michael Wacha. Full-fledged panic may be setting in for #CardinalNation at #BushStadium.

4-4, Saul Fork

5-4 Cardinals. Stop picking up fork's bad habits

I don't even know what that means, but me posting on this stupid messageboard has no effect on MLB games. The Reds bullpen is trash. Fact.

[World's #1 Astros Fan]

Currently 4-0 Reds in the third inning against Michael Wacha. Full-fledged panic may be setting in for #CardinalNation at #BushStadium.

4-4, Saul Fork

5-4 Cardinals. Stop picking up fork's bad habits

I don't even know what that means, but me posting on this stupid messageboard has no effect on MLB games. The Reds bullpen is trash. Fact.

You might want to factor that in ahead of your premature ejaculation is all.

[SKO]

Currently 4-0 Reds in the third inning against Michael Wacha. Full-fledged panic may be setting in for #CardinalNation at #BushStadium.

4-4, Saul Fork

5-4 Cardinals. Stop picking up fork's bad habits

I don't even know what that means, but me posting on this stupid messageboard has no effect on MLB games. The Reds bullpen is trash. Fact.

You might want to factor that in ahead of your premature ejaculation is all.

The 9th was a beautiful bit of a management by a tanking team. They left Cingrani in as he got repeatedly knocked around, let him give up 3 runs and load the bases again, and only pulled him when it actually made the least amount of sense to do so, by bringing in Ohlendorf, a shitty right hander, to face Moss, who has a .208/.259/.333/.576 line against LHP this year and a 1.035 OPS vs RHP. They should have either left Cingrani in to face Moss, or pulled him a batter earlier and let Ohlendorf face Matt Holliday's right handed corpse.