Let's look forward to the Cardinals Methocalypse

[Saul Goodman]

Eat it, fuckheads.

[Quality Start Machine]

Eat it, fuckheads.

[flannj]

Eat it, fuckheads.

[Bort]

Eat it, fuckheads.

[CT III]

Eat it, fuckheads.

[thehawk]

Eat it, fuckheads.

[Armchair_QB]

Eat it, fuckheads.

[The Big Cheese]

Eat it, fuckheads.

[Quality Start Machine]

Eat it, fuckheads.

[World's #1 Astros Fan]

CUBS POLL: WHAT WAS YOU FAVORITE MOMENT FROM THE WEEKEND?


#1 - Yadi failing to scoop a bad throw from Martinez Friday that would've been a  big out and maybe stemmed the eventual bloodbath that inning
#2 - Yadi rolling into a Double Play against Hendricks Saturday when it was 0-0 in the 3rd inning
#3 - Shrimp Dejonge becoming Hendricks' 8th pickoff victim of the year the next inning
#4 - CJ Edwards coming into a suddenly tense game to face STL's true legitimate good young hitter in Pham, and setting his ass down on 3 pitches in the 8th on Saturday
#5 - Russell coming in to pinch-hit in the bottom half of the inning, first action in 6 weeks, getting a standing "O", then proceeding to basically ice the game by dropping one into the back goddamn row of the bleachers and getting a second Standing "O"
#6 - Russell catching the last out of the game Saturday.
#7 - Another Schwarbomb to put them up yesterday
#8- Yadi's second rally-killing, bases-loaded double-play of the weekend in the 4th yesterday.
#9- Heyward delivering not just the back-breaking RBI for the sweep (and virtual elimination), but one that was the result of one of his better swings and better-struck balls all year (and a reminder that about the only awesome thing that could have happened this weekend but didn't was Jay getting a hit instead of striking out earlier with 2nd and 3rd).
#10 - Any of the dozen or so stunning plays that Baez made all damn weekend, compelling me to start thinking up some historical trash talk ("Ozzie Who, motherfuckers?")

[SKO]

I just really love how many of them honestly believed last year was a fluke, the Cubs would go right back to irrelevance, the Cardinals were somehow the team on the rise. Their entire worldview has been shaped around taking it for granted that they'd always be better than the Cubs and they are just really trying hard to fight the evidence in front of their own eyes. It's never going to be what it was, people. This division will never be your playground again.

[Brownie]

CUBS POLL: WHAT WAS YOU FAVORITE MOMENT FROM THE WEEKEND?


#1 - Yadi failing to scoop a bad throw from Martinez Friday that would've been a  big out and maybe stemmed the eventual bloodbath that inning
#2 - Yadi rolling into a Double Play against Hendricks Saturday when it was 0-0 in the 3rd inning
#3 - Shrimp Dejonge becoming Hendricks' 8th pickoff victim of the year the next inning
#4 - CJ Edwards coming into a suddenly tense game to face STL's true legitimate good young hitter in Pham, and setting his ass down on 3 pitches in the 8th on Saturday
#5 - Russell coming in to pinch-hit in the bottom half of the inning, first action in 6 weeks, getting a standing "O", then proceeding to basically ice the game by dropping one into the back goddamn row of the bleachers and getting a second Standing "O"
#6 - Russell catching the last out of the game Saturday.
#7 - Another Schwarbomb to put them up yesterday
#8- Yadi's second rally-killing, bases-loaded double-play of the weekend in the 4th yesterday.
#9- Heyward delivering not just the back-breaking RBI for the sweep (and virtual elimination), but one that was the result of one of his better swings and better-struck balls all year (and a reminder that about the only awesome thing that could have happened this weekend but didn't was Jay getting a hit instead of striking out earlier with 2nd and 3rd).
#10 - Any of the dozen or so stunning plays that Baez made all damn weekend, compelling me to start thinking up some historical trash talk ("Ozzie Who, motherfuckers?")

Ozzie Who? He has a message for St. Louis, mang:

[SKO]

CUBS POLL: WHAT WAS YOU FAVORITE MOMENT FROM THE WEEKEND?


#1 - Yadi failing to scoop a bad throw from Martinez Friday that would've been a  big out and maybe stemmed the eventual bloodbath that inning
#2 - Yadi rolling into a Double Play against Hendricks Saturday when it was 0-0 in the 3rd inning?
#3 - Shrimp Dejonge becoming Hendricks' 8th pickoff victim of the year the next inning?
#4 - CJ Edwards coming into a suddenly tense game to face STL's true legitimate good young hitter in Pham, and setting his ass down on 3 pitches in the 8th on Saturday
#5 - Russell coming in to pinch-hit in the bottom half of the inning, first action in 6 weeks, getting a standing "O", then proceeding to basically ice the game by dropping one into the back goddamn row of the bleachers and getting a second Standing "O"
#6 - Russell catching the last out of the game Saturday.
#7 - Another Schwarbomb to put them up yesterday
#8- Yadi's second rally-killing, bases-loaded double-play of the weekend in the 4th yesterday.
#9- Heyward delivering not just the back-breaking RBI for the sweep (and virtual elimination), but one that was the result of one of his better swings and better-struck balls all year (and a reminder that about the only awesome thing that could have happened this weekend but didn't was Jay getting a hit instead of striking out earlier with 2nd and 3rd).
#10 - Any of the dozen or so stunning plays that Baez made all damn weekend, compelling me to start thinking up some historical trash talk ("Ozzie Who, motherfuckers?")

Fun fact: Tommy Pham is 29 fucking years old. He's not young at all. He's just a career minor leaguer who finally figured it out just in time to flash in the pan before his decline phase.

I heard that a lot from Cardinals fans lately. "Next year we'll be a younger team etc etc". 5 of their likely starters next year (Molina, Fowler, Gyorko, Pham, Carpenter) will be at least 29 or older. Guys like Grichuk, Piscotty, and Wong are no longer young prospects, they're three or more years in and decidedly average. Paul DeJong was a non prospect for a reason. He's struck out 115 times and only walked 17 times (one of which we know from experience WASN'T A FUCKING WALK), after the requisite Cardinals Rando Insanely Hot Streak he's got a .666 OPS over the last month. He'll struggle in year two just like Diaz, Grichuk, Piscotty and every other mediocre chud they had who benefitted from a bunch of fastballs and BABIP luck. None of their "young" guys are anything but role players.

TL;DR: they're going to keep winning just enough games to avoid a protected pick while missing the playoffs for another year or two before rebuilding too late to really cash in any of their chips and it's going to be fucking great.

[CT III]

CUBS POLL: WHAT WAS YOU FAVORITE MOMENT FROM THE WEEKEND?


#1 - Yadi failing to scoop a bad throw from Martinez Friday that would've been a  big out and maybe stemmed the eventual bloodbath that inning
#2 - Yadi rolling into a Double Play against Hendricks Saturday when it was 0-0 in the 3rd inning
#3 - Shrimp Dejonge becoming Hendricks' 8th pickoff victim of the year the next inning
#4 - CJ Edwards coming into a suddenly tense game to face STL's true legitimate good young hitter in Pham, and setting his ass down on 3 pitches in the 8th on Saturday
#5 - Russell coming in to pinch-hit in the bottom half of the inning, first action in 6 weeks, getting a standing "O", then proceeding to basically ice the game by dropping one into the back goddamn row of the bleachers and getting a second Standing "O"
#6 - Russell catching the last out of the game Saturday.
#7 - Another Schwarbomb to put them up yesterday
#8- Yadi's second rally-killing, bases-loaded double-play of the weekend in the 4th yesterday.
#9- Heyward delivering not just the back-breaking RBI for the sweep (and virtual elimination), but one that was the result of one of his better swings and better-struck balls all year (and a reminder that about the only awesome thing that could have happened this weekend but didn't was Jay getting a hit instead of striking out earlier with 2nd and 3rd).
#10 - Any of the dozen or so stunning plays that Baez made all damn weekend, compelling me to start thinking up some historical trash talk ("Ozzie Who, motherfuckers?")

If I'm picking Javy moments it's probably him busting his ass into the OF to play that weird carom off the side wall and throw Piscotty out at 2nd in Friday's game.

[World's #1 Astros Fan]

CUBS POLL: WHAT WAS YOU FAVORITE MOMENT FROM THE WEEKEND?


#1 - Yadi failing to scoop a bad throw from Martinez Friday that would've been a  big out and maybe stemmed the eventual bloodbath that inning
#2 - Yadi rolling into a Double Play against Hendricks Saturday when it was 0-0 in the 3rd inning
#3 - Shrimp Dejonge becoming Hendricks' 8th pickoff victim of the year the next inning
#4 - CJ Edwards coming into a suddenly tense game to face STL's true legitimate good young hitter in Pham, and setting his ass down on 3 pitches in the 8th on Saturday
#5 - Russell coming in to pinch-hit in the bottom half of the inning, first action in 6 weeks, getting a standing "O", then proceeding to basically ice the game by dropping one into the back goddamn row of the bleachers and getting a second Standing "O"
#6 - Russell catching the last out of the game Saturday.
#7 - Another Schwarbomb to put them up yesterday
#8- Yadi's second rally-killing, bases-loaded double-play of the weekend in the 4th yesterday.
#9- Heyward delivering not just the back-breaking RBI for the sweep (and virtual elimination), but one that was the result of one of his better swings and better-struck balls all year (and a reminder that about the only awesome thing that could have happened this weekend but didn't was Jay getting a hit instead of striking out earlier with 2nd and 3rd).
#10 - Any of the dozen or so stunning plays that Baez made all damn weekend, compelling me to start thinking up some historical trash talk ("Ozzie Who, motherfuckers?")

If I'm picking Javy moments it's probably him busting his ass into the OF to play that weird carom off the side wall and throw Piscotty out at 2nd in Friday's game.

Yeah--some of the plays above additionally qualify under "Bullshit That The Cardinals Used To Always Luck Themselves Into"--and disregarding the skill and hustle that Baez had on display on that play for a moment, the "carom" part felt like very satisfying karmic retribution (as did the Russell "hosanna" at-bat)