Primary Clusterfuck 2012

[Tinker to Evers to Chance]

Didn't we just do this?  Fuck.

For future Gil-mockery:

Prediction for Iowa this evening:

1. Paul
2. Romney
3. Santorum
4. Perry
5. Newt
6. Bachmann

[Gilgamesh]

Didn't we just do this?  Fuck.

For future Gil-mockery:

Prediction for Iowa this evening:

1. Paul
2. Romney
3. Santorum
4. Perry
5. Newt
6. Bachmann

IT'S MY LOCK OF THE WEEK.

::produces giant lock::

[Gilgamesh]

Rick Perry compared the GOP's efforts to defeat President Obama "to one of the deadliest battles of the D-Day landings in Normandy in 1944," NBC News reports.

Said Perry: "This election is about stopping a president of the United States and his administration that is abusing the Constitution of this country, that is putting America on a track to bankruptcy. It is a powerful moment in Americans' history, and you are on the front lines. This is Concord. This is Omaha Beach. This is going up the hill realizing that the battle is worth winning."

Rick Perry is an idiot.

[Internet Apex]

Rick Perry compared the GOP's efforts to defeat President Obama "to one of the deadliest battles of the D-Day landings in Normandy in 1944," NBC News reports.

Said Perry: "This election is about stopping a president of the United States and his administration that is abusing the Constitution of this country, that is putting America on a track to bankruptcy. It is a powerful moment in Americans' history, and you are on the front lines. This is Concord. This is Omaha Beach. This is going up the hill realizing that the battle is worth winning."

Rick Perry is an idiot.

Every time I read something like that I feel like abusing the constitution until it allows for Obama to get a third term with an option for a fourth.

[Quality Start Machine]

Rick Perry compared the GOP's efforts to defeat President Obama "to one of the deadliest battles of the D-Day landings in Normandy in 1944," NBC News reports.

Said Perry: "This election is about stopping a president of the United States and his administration that is abusing the Constitution of this country, that is putting America on a track to bankruptcy. It is a powerful moment in Americans' history, and you are on the front lines. This is Concord. This is Omaha Beach. This is going up the hill realizing that the battle is worth winning."

Rick Perry is an idiot.

Every time I read something like that I feel like abusing the constitution until it allows for Obama to get a third term with an option for a fourth.

Obama doesn't even need to campaign. Just let these people continue running against each other.

[Internet Apex]

Rick Perry compared the GOP's efforts to defeat President Obama "to one of the deadliest battles of the D-Day landings in Normandy in 1944," NBC News reports.

Said Perry: "This election is about stopping a president of the United States and his administration that is abusing the Constitution of this country, that is putting America on a track to bankruptcy. It is a powerful moment in Americans' history, and you are on the front lines. This is Concord. This is Omaha Beach. This is going up the hill realizing that the battle is worth winning."

Rick Perry is an idiot.

Every time I read something like that I feel like abusing the constitution until it allows for Obama to get a third term with an option for a fourth.

Obama doesn't even need to campaign. Just let these people continue running against each other.

In fact it's better if he doesn't. My point isn't that he's awesome. It's just that the others scare me so very, very much. And that includes the rest of the turds in the pew next to you.

[Gilgamesh]

Paul in third, Newt with a respectable fourth. Rick Perry and Michelle Bachmann did some things and some people knew who Jon Huntsman was.

Santorum is mixing it up with Mitt, getting a little messy.  If Mitt doesn't win this tonight, that has to be a blow going into New Hampshire.  Maybe that hurts the inevitability argument for Romney.

I'm interested how long Perry and Bachmann stick around from here out.  Newt will fight until Florida, I'd imagine.

[Tinker to Evers to Chance]

I was wrong.

[Gilgamesh]

I was wrong.

Santorum ruined my 6-2 quinella!!!

[J. Walter Weatherman]

If Mitt doesn't win this tonight, that has to be a blow going into New Hampshire.  Maybe that hurts the inevitability argument for Romney.

Nope × 2

[Wheezer]

Paul in third, Newt with a respectable fourth. Rick Perry and Michelle Bachmann did some things and some people knew who Jon Huntsman was.

Santorum is mixing it up with Mitt, getting a little messy.  If Mitt doesn't win this tonight, that has to be a blow going into New Hampshire.  Maybe that hurts the inevitability argument for Romney.

I'm interested how long Perry and Bachmann stick around from here out.  Newt will fight until Florida, I'd imagine.

Wait, this was supposed to sound prurient, right?

[BC]

This will probably be the only time in my life I quote from a Rolling Stone story, but this basically sums up my belief that a possible Obama-Romney race would be a choice between Shitty and Slightly Less Shitty...

"Most likely, it'll be Mitt Romney versus Barack Obama, meaning the voters' choices in the midst of a massive global economic crisis brought on in large part by corruption in the financial services industry will be a private equity parasite who has been a lifelong champion of the Gordon Gekko Greed-is-Good ethos (Romney), versus a paper progressive who in 2008 took, by himself, more money from Wall Street than any two previous presidential candidates, and in the four years since has showered Wall Street with bailouts while failing to push even one successful corruption prosecution (Obama)."

Read more: http://www.rollingstone.com/politics/blogs/taibblog/iowa-the-meaningless-sideshow-begins-20120103#ixzz1iSaS2rVt

[Gilgamesh]

Paul in third, Newt with a respectable fourth. Rick Perry and Michelle Bachmann did some things and some people knew who Jon Huntsman was.

Santorum is mixing it up with Mitt, getting a little messy.  If Mitt doesn't win this tonight, that has to be a blow going into New Hampshire.  Maybe that hurts the inevitability argument for Romney.

I'm interested how long Perry and Bachmann stick around from here out.  Newt will fight until Florida, I'd imagine.

Wait, this was supposed to sound prurient, right?

Ding.

[Gilgamesh]

They exist!!!

@fivethirteight: "6 votes for Lizard People just counted in Allamakee County."

[BC]

Fox just reported that a guy driving a truck has the results out of Story County, the largest county still outstanding, and is driving the results to the secret vote-counting center. Seriously, the Republican nomination for President of the United States is, at least for a moment, controlled by a guy driving a truck out of Story County, Iowa.

Wow.