Monumental

[PenPho]

Worried about the future of America? 
Worried about what kind of world your kids will grow up in?

Well, don't worry, because so is Kirk Cameron. 
And unlike you, he's doing something about it.

Even if you don't click the link and read the story, I implore you to watch the trailer.
I don't even think it's possible to make a spoof of this.

Also - this amazing movie poster:

[Gilgamesh]

For a moment, I thought Christina Hendricks' chest secured a biopic.

[Tonker]

I'm speechless, not least at the assertion that America is the "free-est (sic) nation the World has ever seen".  Really?  How are you measuring that, exactly, Kirk?

How the fuck did this film get made, exactly?

[BH]

"It's been four years since Kirk Cameron appeared in the impactful marriage film "Fireproof," but he hasn't been resting"

Has anyone even heard of this impactful film?

[PenPho]

"It's been four years since Kirk Cameron appeared in the impactful marriage film "Fireproof," but he hasn't been resting"

Has anyone even heard of this impactful film?

I have, but only because I spend the majority of my days in a chatroom with strange men on a dark corner of the internet.

[Chuck to Chuck]

For a moment, I thought Christina Hendricks' chest secured a biopic.

This film will earn fewer dollars than Christina has pounds.

So, it could be #1 at the box office.

[J. Walter Weatherman]

I'm speechless, not least at the assertion that America is the "free-est (sic) nation the World has ever seen".  Really?  How are you measuring that, exactly, Kirk?

How the fuck did this film get made, exactly?

I remain amazed that, even after all this time, Tonker is so clueless about what makes Real America™ tick.

Jesus invented freedom in 1776. End of story.

[flannj]

"It's been four years since Kirk Cameron appeared in the impactful marriage film "Fireproof," but he hasn't been resting"

Has anyone even heard of this impactful film?

I didn't even know who Kirk Cameron is. I had heard the name before but it meant nothing to me.
So I watched the trailer...
And then I read the article...
And then I read the Wiki entry on "Fireproof".

All I can say is, thanks a lot Pen.
You ass.

[PenPho]

I'm speechless, not least at the assertion that America is the "free-est (sic) nation the World has ever seen".  Really?  How are you measuring that, exactly, Kirk?

How the fuck did this film get made, exactly?

I remain amazed that, even after all this time, Tonker is so clueless about what makes Real America™ tick.

Jesus invented freedom in 1776. End of story.

Well, it was the end of the story. 
Then this happened.

[J. Walter Weatherman]

I didn't even know who Kirk Cameron is.

Jesus. How old are you, flannj?

[flannj]

I didn't even know who Kirk Cameron is.

Jesus. How old are you, flannj?

I think it has less to do with my old age than my avoidance of pure shit TV shows.

[PenPho]

I didn't even know who Kirk Cameron is.

Jesus. How old are you, flannj?

I think it has less to do with my old age than my avoidance of pure shit TV shows.

I'm willing to turn a blind eye to a lot of stuff around these parts, but referring to Growing Pains as "pure shit" is getting awfully close to the line, pal.  

Because 13-year old Pen's feelings about that blonde from Crocodile Dundee paled in comparison to those for Carol Seaver.

Hell, Maggie Seaver Malone too, for that matter.  

Lest we forget:

[J. Walter Weatherman]

I didn't even know who Kirk Cameron is.

Jesus. How old are you, flannj?

I think it has less to do with my old age than my avoidance of pure shit TV shows.

The number one sign you're old as fuck in 2012: you thought "Growing Pains" was a "pure shit TV show" in 1988.

[Chuck to Chuck]

I didn't even know who Kirk Cameron is.

Jesus. How old are you, flannj?

I think it has less to do with my old age than my avoidance of pure shit TV shows.

The number one sign you're old as fuck in 2012: you thought "Growing Pains" was a "pure shit TV show" in 1988.

Well it was a pale ripoff of Family Ties, which ran concurrently. It wasn't hard to figure that out.

[flannj]

I didn't even know who Kirk Cameron is.

Jesus. How old are you, flannj?

I think it has less to do with my old age than my avoidance of pure shit TV shows.

The number one sign you're old as fuck in 2012: you thought "Growing Pains" was a "pure shit TV show" in 1988.

Well it was a pale ripoff of Family Ties, which ran concurrently. It wasn't hard to figure that out.

Cocaine's a helluva a drug...