NBA Hoop Thread (Non-Fro Dog Edition)

[Internet Apex]

I want the Heat to win because I want to see what bullshit narrative the media is forced into when LeBron is a champion. I guess they'll say he needs to win at least six more.

I'd like to see him win at least six more.

[Eli]

I want the Heat to win because I want to see what bullshit narrative the media is forced into when LeBron is a champion. I guess they'll say he needs to win at least six more.

Plus, we can watch Apex to wrestle with the underlying guilt he'll feel at being a long-suffering Cubs/Bears fan who latched onto a championship-ready team and pretended like it meant something to him.

[Internet Apex]

I want the Heat to win because I want to see what bullshit narrative the media is forced into when LeBron is a champion. I guess they'll say he needs to win at least six more.

Plus, we can watch Apex to wrestle with the underlying guilt he'll feel at being a long-suffering Cubs/Bears fan who latched onto a championship-ready team and pretended like it meant something to him.

Every game I pretend to sit in my apartment alone and scream at the top of my lungs for two hours so that my neighbors will hear me and think I'm fucking insane. I really need them to think this so they'll leave me alone.

[Eli]

Every game I pretend to sit in my apartment alone and scream at the top of my lungs for two hours

Sounds like overcompensating to me.

[Internet Apex]

Every game I pretend to sit in my apartment alone and scream at the top of my lungs for two hours

Sounds like overcompensating to me.

For my small penis.

[World's #1 Astros Fan]

Every game I pretend to sit in my apartment alone and scream at the top of my lungs for two hours

Sounds like overcompensating to me.

For my small penis.

Natch.

[Internet Apex]

Every game I pretend to sit in my apartment alone and scream at the top of my lungs for two hours

Sounds like overcompensating to me.

For my small penis.

Natch.

I literally injured my right calf (identical to left calf injury in softball playoffs last year for Cody's historians) dancing in my apartment after last night's win. Couldn't celebrate much at the bar because everybody was either sadsack, ANGRY or indifferent. So when I got home I threw on Harry Belafonte's "Jump In The Line" and jumped in the line - kablewie! - right plantaris tendon gone.

Am I a true fan now?

[Quality Start Machine]

Every game I pretend to sit in my apartment alone and scream at the top of my lungs for two hours

Sounds like overcompensating to me.

For my small penis.

Natch.

I literally injured my right calf (identical to left calf injury in softball playoffs last year for Cody's historians) dancing in my apartment after last night's win. Couldn't celebrate much at the bar because everybody was either sadsack, ANGRY or indifferent. So when I got home I threw on Harry Belafonte's "Jump In The Line" and jumped in the line - kablewie! - right plantaris tendon gone.

Am I a true fan now?

Who can truly question LeBron's toughness now? These guys.

[Internet Apex]

Every game I pretend to sit in my apartment alone and scream at the top of my lungs for two hours

Sounds like overcompensating to me.

For my small penis.

Natch.

I literally injured my right calf (identical to left calf injury in softball playoffs last year for Cody's historians) dancing in my apartment after last night's win. Couldn't celebrate much at the bar because everybody was either sadsack, ANGRY or indifferent. So when I got home I threw on Harry Belafonte's "Jump In The Line" and jumped in the line - kablewie! - right plantaris tendon gone.

Am I a true fan now?

Who can truly question LeBron's toughness now? These guys.

Those guys who go play for like 2 minutes at a time and sit for 5-17 doing nothing but swearing and drinking water? Ok. Not saying they aren't tougher than LeBron or any other basketball player but jeez, guys.

[PenPho]

Every game I pretend to sit in my apartment alone and scream at the top of my lungs for two hours

Sounds like overcompensating to me.

For my small penis.

Natch.

I literally injured my right calf (identical to left calf injury in softball playoffs last year for Cody's historians) dancing in my apartment after last night's win. Couldn't celebrate much at the bar because everybody was either sadsack, ANGRY or indifferent. So when I got home I threw on Harry Belafonte's "Jump In The Line" and jumped in the line - kablewie! - right plantaris tendon gone.

Am I a true fan now?

Who can truly question LeBron's toughness now? These guys.

Those guys who go play for like 2 minutes at a time and sit for 5-17 doing nothing but swearing and drinking water? Ok. Not saying they aren't tougher than LeBron or any other basketball player but jeez, guys.

There's a Jay Cutler Injury/Twitter joke here somewhere, but I'll be damned if I can't Chork up the inspiration.  

[SKO]

Every game I pretend to sit in my apartment alone and scream at the top of my lungs for two hours

Sounds like overcompensating to me.

For my small penis.

Natch.

I literally injured my right calf (identical to left calf injury in softball playoffs last year for Cody's historians) dancing in my apartment after last night's win. Couldn't celebrate much at the bar because everybody was either sadsack, ANGRY or indifferent. So when I got home I threw on Harry Belafonte's "Jump In The Line" and jumped in the line - kablewie! - right plantaris tendon gone.

Am I a true fan now?

Who can truly question LeBron's toughness now? These guys.

Those guys who go play for like 2 minutes at a time and sit for 5-17 doing nothing but swearing and drinking water? Ok. Not saying they aren't tougher than LeBron or any other basketball player but jeez, guys.

That's a Jay Cutler Injury/Twitter joke here somewhere, but I'll be damned if I can't Chork up the inspiration. 

Penis right. Anyone criticizing LeBron for that's just as much of a moron as those mouthbreathers. Christ almighty. He's going to win the thing. Let it happen and stop being so asshurt. #backlashagainstthebacklash

[Slaky]

Every game I pretend to sit in my apartment alone and scream at the top of my lungs for two hours

Sounds like overcompensating to me.

For my small penis.

Natch.

I literally injured my right calf (identical to left calf injury in softball playoffs last year for Cody's historians) dancing in my apartment after last night's win. Couldn't celebrate much at the bar because everybody was either sadsack, ANGRY or indifferent. So when I got home I threw on Harry Belafonte's "Jump In The Line" and jumped in the line - kablewie! - right plantaris tendon gone.

Am I a true fan now?

Who can truly question LeBron's toughness now? These guys.

Those guys who go play for like 2 minutes at a time and sit for 5-17 doing nothing but swearing and drinking water? Ok. Not saying they aren't tougher than LeBron or any other basketball player but jeez, guys.

That's a Jay Cutler Injury/Twitter joke here somewhere, but I'll be damned if I can't Chork up the inspiration. 

Penis right. Anyone criticizing LeBron for that's just as much of a moron as those mouthbreathers. Christ almighty. He's going to win the thing. Let it happen and stop being so asshurt. #backlashagainstthebacklash

I have been backed into the Heat's corner by planet-dwarfing idiocy. Go Heat. End this thing.

[morpheus]

Every game I pretend to sit in my apartment alone and scream at the top of my lungs for two hours

Sounds like overcompensating to me.

For my small penis.

Natch.

I literally injured my right calf (identical to left calf injury in softball playoffs last year for Cody's historians) dancing in my apartment after last night's win. Couldn't celebrate much at the bar because everybody was either sadsack, ANGRY or indifferent. So when I got home I threw on Harry Belafonte's "Jump In The Line" and jumped in the line - kablewie! - right plantaris tendon gone.

Am I a true fan now?

Who can truly question LeBron's toughness now? These guys.

Those guys who go play for like 2 minutes at a time and sit for 5-17 doing nothing but swearing and drinking water? Ok. Not saying they aren't tougher than LeBron or any other basketball player but jeez, guys.

That's a Jay Cutler Injury/Twitter joke here somewhere, but I'll be damned if I can't Chork up the inspiration. 

Penis right. Anyone criticizing LeBron for that's just as much of a moron as those mouthbreathers. Christ almighty. He's going to win the thing. Let it happen and stop being so asshurt. #backlashagainstthebacklash

I have been backed into the Heat's corner by planet-dwarfing idiocy. Go Heat. End this thing.

something something leave Oleg out of something

[Eli]

Every game I pretend to sit in my apartment alone and scream at the top of my lungs for two hours

Sounds like overcompensating to me.

For my small penis.

Natch.

I literally injured my right calf (identical to left calf injury in softball playoffs last year for Cody's historians) dancing in my apartment after last night's win. Couldn't celebrate much at the bar because everybody was either sadsack, ANGRY or indifferent. So when I got home I threw on Harry Belafonte's "Jump In The Line" and jumped in the line - kablewie! - right plantaris tendon gone.

Am I a true fan now?

Nope.

[Internet Apex]

Every game I pretend to sit in my apartment alone and scream at the top of my lungs for two hours

Sounds like overcompensating to me.

For my small penis.

Natch.

I literally injured my right calf (identical to left calf injury in softball playoffs last year for Cody's historians) dancing in my apartment after last night's win. Couldn't celebrate much at the bar because everybody was either sadsack, ANGRY or indifferent. So when I got home I threw on Harry Belafonte's "Jump In The Line" and jumped in the line - kablewie! - right plantaris tendon gone.

Am I a true fan now?

Nope.

:(