NBA Hoop Thread (Non-Fro Dog Edition)

[SKO]

The day we stop saying it's alright to lump entire groups of people together and judge them by the lowest common denominator is the day we're all no better than the dirty Jews.

Your final solution to this problem is to send them to take showers, no doubt.

*feels guilty about casually anti-semitic joke, decides to write check to Jewish charity*
*doesn't know any Jewish charities*
*signs check to "The Jews" and addresses envelope with "Hollywood"...assumes it'll end up in the right hands*

[SKO]

Seriously, though, Heat fans are terrible.

[Chuck to Chuck]

The day we stop saying it's alright to lump entire groups of people together and judge them by the lowest common denominator is the day we're all no better than the dirty Jews.

Your final solution to this problem is to send them to take showers, no doubt.

*feels guilty about casually anti-semitic joke, decides to write check to Jewish charity*
*doesn't know any Jewish charities*
*signs check to "The Jews" and addresses envelope with "Hollywood"...assumes it'll end up in the right hands*

Competition there. One wrong person gets that and your e-meter is in the mail.

[Chuck to Chuck]

About 95% of teams winning a baseball game going into the 9th inning win, so I guess it will be OK when Cubs fans leave Wrigley when the Rays have a 2 run lead going into the 9th inning of game 6 of the 2016 World Series.

And it is understandable that nobody goes to Pacers games. There is just too much other stuff to do in Indianoplace.

So, the AL won the All Star game that year? *places bet*

If Game 6 is "at Wrigley," then...

Besides.  They are winning in 2015 just like we saw in Back to the Future II.  October 20th to be precise (Marty arrives the 21st)

[SKO]

About 95% of teams winning a baseball game going into the 9th inning win, so I guess it will be OK when Cubs fans leave Wrigley when the Rays have a 2 run lead going into the 9th inning of game 6 of the 2016 World Series.

And it is understandable that nobody goes to Pacers games. There is just too much other stuff to do in Indianoplace.

So, the AL won the All Star game that year? *places bet*

If Game 6 is "at Wrigley," then...

Besides.  They are winning in 2015 just like we saw in Back to the Future II.  October 20th to be precise (Marty arrives the 21st)

But I thought TODAY was the day Marty arrived in the future. I saw it on facebook.

[Quality Start Machine]

Mostly. What people don't really get though is that Miami is Latin America's team. They have an enormous Latino following inside and outside of the U.S. These people aren't represented in the lower bowl of AAA or on Twitter, but they cram the bars and outdoor party areas all over the city on game days. And then there is me. Alone. In my apartment. Screaming.

And LeBron Santiago.

[World's #1 Astros Fan]

And wonder why your team isn't in one of these funny videos.

Because we didn't hop on a team's bandwagon once it was clear they would be awesome.

Apex is actually, without question, the best Miami Heat fan alive. Every other Heat fan is actual fucking garbage.

http://www.sbnation.com/nba/2013/6/19/4443978/heat-spurs-fans-leave-early-nba-finals-2013

Wow. I was listening on the radio and Tirico said something about people leaving. I got home in time for overtime and the stands still looked full, so I figured he was exaggerating or wrong. Anyone who left should never be allowed into another sporting event.

According to ESPN, teams that lead by 5 points with 20-30 seconds remaining win 98.6 percent of the time. If somebody wanted to start walking out rather than watch an opponent celebrate a title on their team's home floor, I'm not going to call them a shitty fan. That's fucking illiterate.

I hear all the time about awful Miami Heat fans but I follow dozens of them on Twitter that are just like everybody else. So there are some real doucherockets with season tickets in the lower bowl of American Airlines Arena. The upper reaches are always filled with fans who come early to watch LeBron put on his dunk display in warmups and stay late just like fans of every other NBA team besides the Pacers, who despite having arguably the third best team in the league, ranked 27th in attendance this year. That's lower than the Bobcats.

And a word about the officiating. At the end of an NBA Finals Game 6, don't go begging for calls. LeBron shouldn't either but he did and that's the one thing about him that really pisses me off. He's got to stop doing that shit.

And then this. After Ray Allen's three, the officials stopped the game to review the shot and ensure that it was in fact a three-pointer. Clearly it was. When they stopped the game, San Antonio had no timeouts and Tim Duncan wasn't on the floor. You might have noticed that when Bosh was snagging the offensive rebound and finding Ray in the corner. Well, after the review, Duncan entered the game. That's an illegal substitution. It should have been a technical foul, Ray should have gotten a free throw and the ball and the game should never have gone to overtime.

Bad is bad. Cry me a fucking river.

I figured a guy who left a Bears/Vikings game in 2007 before the Bears staged a game-tying comeback (before still derping the game) would defend his Heat fan brethren.

[Internet Apex]

And wonder why your team isn't in one of these funny videos.

Because we didn't hop on a team's bandwagon once it was clear they would be awesome.

Apex is actually, without question, the best Miami Heat fan alive. Every other Heat fan is actual fucking garbage.

http://www.sbnation.com/nba/2013/6/19/4443978/heat-spurs-fans-leave-early-nba-finals-2013

Wow. I was listening on the radio and Tirico said something about people leaving. I got home in time for overtime and the stands still looked full, so I figured he was exaggerating or wrong. Anyone who left should never be allowed into another sporting event.

According to ESPN, teams that lead by 5 points with 20-30 seconds remaining win 98.6 percent of the time. If somebody wanted to start walking out rather than watch an opponent celebrate a title on their team's home floor, I'm not going to call them a shitty fan. That's fucking illiterate.

I hear all the time about awful Miami Heat fans but I follow dozens of them on Twitter that are just like everybody else. So there are some real doucherockets with season tickets in the lower bowl of American Airlines Arena. The upper reaches are always filled with fans who come early to watch LeBron put on his dunk display in warmups and stay late just like fans of every other NBA team besides the Pacers, who despite having arguably the third best team in the league, ranked 27th in attendance this year. That's lower than the Bobcats.

And a word about the officiating. At the end of an NBA Finals Game 6, don't go begging for calls. LeBron shouldn't either but he did and that's the one thing about him that really pisses me off. He's got to stop doing that shit.

And then this. After Ray Allen's three, the officials stopped the game to review the shot and ensure that it was in fact a three-pointer. Clearly it was. When they stopped the game, San Antonio had no timeouts and Tim Duncan wasn't on the floor. You might have noticed that when Bosh was snagging the offensive rebound and finding Ray in the corner. Well, after the review, Duncan entered the game. That's an illegal substitution. It should have been a technical foul, Ray should have gotten a free throw and the ball and the game should never have gone to overtime.

Bad is bad. Cry me a fucking river.

I figured a guy who left a Bears/Vikings game in 2007 before the Bears staged a game-tying comeback (before still derping the game) would defend his Heat fan brethren.

I've been that guy for quite some time now. I blame my ADD and my propensity for mind-crippling butthurt. I get too stressed out because I care way too much. I don't think that makes me a shitty fan, but probably means I have some personal issues to sort out.

[PenFoe]

And wonder why your team isn't in one of these funny videos.

Because we didn't hop on a team's bandwagon once it was clear they would be awesome.

Apex is actually, without question, the best Miami Heat fan alive. Every other Heat fan is actual fucking garbage.

http://www.sbnation.com/nba/2013/6/19/4443978/heat-spurs-fans-leave-early-nba-finals-2013

Wow. I was listening on the radio and Tirico said something about people leaving. I got home in time for overtime and the stands still looked full, so I figured he was exaggerating or wrong. Anyone who left should never be allowed into another sporting event.

According to ESPN, teams that lead by 5 points with 20-30 seconds remaining win 98.6 percent of the time. If somebody wanted to start walking out rather than watch an opponent celebrate a title on their team's home floor, I'm not going to call them a shitty fan. That's fucking illiterate.

I hear all the time about awful Miami Heat fans but I follow dozens of them on Twitter that are just like everybody else. So there are some real doucherockets with season tickets in the lower bowl of American Airlines Arena. The upper reaches are always filled with fans who come early to watch LeBron put on his dunk display in warmups and stay late just like fans of every other NBA team besides the Pacers, who despite having arguably the third best team in the league, ranked 27th in attendance this year. That's lower than the Bobcats.

And a word about the officiating. At the end of an NBA Finals Game 6, don't go begging for calls. LeBron shouldn't either but he did and that's the one thing about him that really pisses me off. He's got to stop doing that shit.

And then this. After Ray Allen's three, the officials stopped the game to review the shot and ensure that it was in fact a three-pointer. Clearly it was. When they stopped the game, San Antonio had no timeouts and Tim Duncan wasn't on the floor. You might have noticed that when Bosh was snagging the offensive rebound and finding Ray in the corner. Well, after the review, Duncan entered the game. That's an illegal substitution. It should have been a technical foul, Ray should have gotten a free throw and the ball and the game should never have gone to overtime.

Bad is bad. Cry me a fucking river.

I figured a guy who left a Bears/Vikings game in 2007 before the Bears staged a game-tying comeback (before still derping the game) would defend his Heat fan brethren.

I've been that guy for quite some time now. I blame my ADD and my propensity for mind-crippling butthurt. I get too stressed out because I care way too much. I don't think that makes me a shitty fan, but probably means I have some personal issues to sort out.

Even if I did this, it would have to have been because I loved her very much, right?

[R-V]

Not a peep from Apex?

Hypothetical for you, internet friend - if LeBron opts out a year from now and signs with the Bulls, who will you root for?

[Internet Apex]

Not a peep from Apex?

Hypothetical for you, internet friend - if LeBron opts out a year from now and signs with the Bulls, who will you root for?

The Bulls.

*offers hypothetical shirtless hug*

But listening to LeBron talk about how honored he feels to play for the Heat organization, I don't think he's leaving. I mean, people can say what they want, it's good for ratings and clicks and whatever, but I don't know why he'd leave with the Bird Rights in place and the ability to recruit more veterans to play for titles with him every year from South Beach.

[Quality Start Machine]

Not a peep from Apex?

Hypothetical for you, internet friend - if LeBron opts out a year from now and signs with the Bulls, who will you root for?

The Bulls.

*offers hypothetical shirtless hug*

But listening to LeBron talk about how honored he feels to play for the Heat organization, I don't think he's leaving. I mean, people can say what they want, it's good for ratings and clicks and whatever, but I don't know why he'd leave with the Bird Rights in place and the ability to recruit more veterans to play for titles with him every year from South Beach.

Not to mention the lack of a state sales tax, so he can net as much with a smaller gross.

[PenFoe]

Not a peep from Apex?

Hypothetical for you, internet friend - if LeBron opts out a year from now and signs with the Bulls, who will you root for?

The Bulls.

*offers hypothetical shirtless hug*

But listening to LeBron talk about how honored he feels to play for the Heat organization, I don't think he's leaving. I mean, people can say what they want, it's good for ratings and clicks and whatever, but I don't know why he'd leave with the Bird Rights in place and the ability to recruit more veterans to play for titles with him every year from South Beach.

Not to mention the lack of a state sales tax, so he can net as much with a smaller gross.

He's been in Miami for 3 years, they've made 3 finals and won 2 of them. 

Can't possibly imagine a scenario in which he leaves.

[Slaky]

Not a peep from Apex?

Hypothetical for you, internet friend - if LeBron opts out a year from now and signs with the Bulls, who will you root for?

The Bulls.

*offers hypothetical shirtless hug*

But listening to LeBron talk about how honored he feels to play for the Heat organization, I don't think he's leaving. I mean, people can say what they want, it's good for ratings and clicks and whatever, but I don't know why he'd leave with the Bird Rights in place and the ability to recruit more veterans to play for titles with him every year from South Beach.

Not to mention the lack of a state sales tax, so he can net as much with a smaller gross.

He's been in Miami for 3 years, they've made 3 finals and won 2 of them. 

Can't possibly imagine a scenario in which he leaves.

I hope down the road at some point when Larbon is all done we see Spoelstra coach a different team without Larbon and Gang.

I wanna see it.

[Internet Apex]

Not a peep from Apex?

Hypothetical for you, internet friend - if LeBron opts out a year from now and signs with the Bulls, who will you root for?

The Bulls.

*offers hypothetical shirtless hug*

But listening to LeBron talk about how honored he feels to play for the Heat organization, I don't think he's leaving. I mean, people can say what they want, it's good for ratings and clicks and whatever, but I don't know why he'd leave with the Bird Rights in place and the ability to recruit more veterans to play for titles with him every year from South Beach.

Not to mention the lack of a state sales tax, so he can net as much with a smaller gross.

He's been in Miami for 3 years, they've made 3 finals and won 2 of them. 

Can't possibly imagine a scenario in which he leaves.

I hope down the road at some point when Larbon is all done we see Spoelstra coach a different team without Larbon and Gang.

I wanna see it.

He's doing a great job but there are probably a handful of coaches in history that actually, really matter. He's not one of them yet.