2012 Chicago Cubs

[J. Walter Weatherman]

Cool story, bruh.

Cool new "thing", dawg.

It's here to stay like herpes.

And nearly as irritating.

[World's #1 Astros Fan]

Poag Mahone over Doc Hallady in Philly tonight.

This is why I don't gamble.

[Wheezer]

"Fasten your seatbelts" from Pat with a 5-0 lead going into the 9th.
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JESUS!

[Slaky]

"Fasten your seatbelts" from Pat with a 5-0 lead going into the 9th.
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JESUS!

Remember when Carlos Marmol was fun bad? Now he's bad bad.

[Brownie]

"Fasten your seatbelts" from Pat with a 5-0 lead going into the 9th.
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JESUS!

Remember when Carlos Marmol was fun bad? Now he's bad bad.

What Wheezer wrote is almost verbatim what I told my 2-year-old in the car when I heard Pat say that.

[Quality Start Machine]

"Fasten your seatbelts" from Pat with a 5-0 lead going into the 9th.
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.
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JESUS!

Remember when Carlos Marmol was fun bad? Now he's bad bad.

What Wheezer wrote is almost verbatim what I told my 2-year-old in the car when I heard Pat say that.

Hey, at least he's a bargain, right?
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RIGHT?????

[J. Walter Weatherman]

"Fasten your seatbelts" from Pat with a 5-0 lead going into the 9th.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
JESUS!

Remember when Carlos Marmol was fun bad? Now he's bad bad.

What Wheezer wrote is almost verbatim what I told my 2-year-old in the car when I heard Pat say that.

Hey, at least he's a bargain, right?
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
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RIGHT?????

Intrepid Reader: Internet Chuck

At least his contract wasn't backloaded or anything.

[Slaky]

I don't hate this team.

[Eli]

I don't hate this team.

With Lahair hitting like Barry Bonds and Garza, Samardzija and that unicycle pedalling paragon to Northside asshattery all apparently battling for the Cy Young, maybe this season won't suck as much as everyone thought.

Just kidding. It'll still suck.

[Tonker]

I don't hate this team.

No, me neither - It's not their fault they suck.

[World's #1 Astros Fan]

The only thing I'm currently able to muster up any hatred for is Darwin Barney and his sub-.290 OBP.  Other than that, they're kind of like a spirited kid with Downs Syndrome that's keeping his head above water at the Special Olympics.  It's hard not to find this team--though still rather talentless-- a little charming and even harder to actually hate them.

[Bort]

The only thing I'm currently able to muster up any hatred for is Darwin Barney and his sub-.290 OBP.  Other than that, they're kind of like a spirited kid with Downs Syndrome that's keeping his head above water at the Special Olympics.  It's hard not to find this team--though still rather talentless-- a little charming and even harder to actually hate them.

Que joke about Huey seeing a lot of himself on this team.

[World's #1 Astros Fan]

The only thing I'm currently able to muster up any hatred for is Darwin Barney and his sub-.290 OBP.  Other than that, they're kind of like a spirited kid with Downs Syndrome that's keeping his head above water at the Special Olympics.  It's hard not to find this team--though still rather talentless-- a little charming and even harder to actually hate them.

Que joke about Huey seeing a lot of himself on this team.

I don't really like myself that much.....so no.

[Quality Start Machine]

They're adorable the way they keep hovering around .500 before reality sets in and the 2-wins-in-15-games hais.

[BH]

I don't hate this team.

With Lahair hitting like Barry Bonds and Garza, Samardzija and that unicycle pedalling paragon to Northside asshattery all apparently battling for the Cy Young, maybe this season won't suck as much as everyone thought.

Just kidding. It'll still suck.

It's going to be really strange when we trade Garza and Dempster who are playing well for good, young prospects, instead of making them the highest paid pitchers in baseball. Plus lifetime no trade clauses.