The Anthony Rizzo DongFest Thread

[Saul Goodman]

Pretty sure this is the thread where we had some good laughs at old Trueblood's expense.

Now he's redefining the Rookie of the Year award to the Rookie with the Best Combination of Performance and Zips Projections award. Or something.

He'd never vote for a pitcher for ROY because they're more likely to get injured in the future? The mind boggles.

I love the way he responded "you both asked, here's my methodology!"

Meaning he posted the entire thing in the first place so as to have an excuse to show off his "genius" once some outraged person asked how he came up with such an answer.

I have a different paradigm than most for RoY. I look for even mix of best season, best future.

Gosh he's just so precious. I like how he redefines the Rookie OF THE YEAR Award to the Best Future Player In Matthew Trueblood's Subjective Opinion Except for Pitchers And Anyone Else I Arbitrarily Deem Unworthy. Why does BP pay this guy?

This. This isn't Most Valuable Player where "valuable" is open to some interpretation and invites the stats vs value to team etc. This is literally "Rookie of the Year", as in singular, as in this year, jackass.

He is the worst. Someone send this to John Oliver so they can do a "Watch As John Oliver EVISCERATES Matthew Trueblood (VIDEO)" piece.

[Saul Goodman]

Pretty sure this is the thread where we had some good laughs at old Trueblood's expense.

Now he's redefining the Rookie of the Year award to the Rookie with the Best Combination of Performance and Zips Projections award. Or something.

He'd never vote for a pitcher for ROY because they're more likely to get injured in the future? The mind boggles.

I love the way he responded "you both asked, here's my methodology!"

Meaning he posted the entire thing in the first place so as to have an excuse to show off his "genius" once some outraged person asked how he came up with such an answer.

I have a different paradigm than most for RoY. I look for even mix of best season, best future.

Gosh he's just so precious. I like how he redefines the Rookie OF THE YEAR Award to the Best Future Player In Matthew Trueblood's Subjective Opinion Except for Pitchers And Anyone Else I Arbitrarily Deem Unworthy. Why does BP pay this guy?

This. This isn't Most Valuable Player where "valuable" is open to some interpretation and invites the stats vs value to team etc. This is literally "Rookie of the Year", as in singular, as in this year, jackass.

So, on top of everything else, he feels like Kerry Wood was undeserving of Rookie of the Year. 

That's all I need to know.

This is a good point. Has someone asked him about KW?

[InternetApex]

Pretty sure this is the thread where we had some good laughs at old Trueblood's expense.

Now he's redefining the Rookie of the Year award to the Rookie with the Best Combination of Performance and Zips Projections award. Or something.

He'd never vote for a pitcher for ROY because they're more likely to get injured in the future? The mind boggles.

I love the way he responded "you both asked, here's my methodology!"

Meaning he posted the entire thing in the first place so as to have an excuse to show off his "genius" once some outraged person asked how he came up with such an answer.

I have a different paradigm than most for RoY. I look for even mix of best season, best future.

Gosh he's just so precious. I like how he redefines the Rookie OF THE YEAR Award to the Best Future Player In Matthew Trueblood's Subjective Opinion Except for Pitchers And Anyone Else I Arbitrarily Deem Unworthy. Why does BP pay this guy?

This. This isn't Most Valuable Player where "valuable" is open to some interpretation and invites the stats vs value to team etc. This is literally "Rookie of the Year", as in singular, as in this year, jackass.

So, on top of everything else, he feels like Kerry Wood was undeserving of Rookie of the Year. 

That's all I need to know.

This is a good point. Has someone asked him about KW?

Please don't. He'll remind you that Wood missed the entire 1999 season with Tommy John disease so his 1998 season was null and void.

[Saul Goodman]

Pretty sure this is the thread where we had some good laughs at old Trueblood's expense.

Now he's redefining the Rookie of the Year award to the Rookie with the Best Combination of Performance and Zips Projections award. Or something.

He'd never vote for a pitcher for ROY because they're more likely to get injured in the future? The mind boggles.

I love the way he responded "you both asked, here's my methodology!"

Meaning he posted the entire thing in the first place so as to have an excuse to show off his "genius" once some outraged person asked how he came up with such an answer.

I have a different paradigm than most for RoY. I look for even mix of best season, best future.

Gosh he's just so precious. I like how he redefines the Rookie OF THE YEAR Award to the Best Future Player In Matthew Trueblood's Subjective Opinion Except for Pitchers And Anyone Else I Arbitrarily Deem Unworthy. Why does BP pay this guy?

This. This isn't Most Valuable Player where "valuable" is open to some interpretation and invites the stats vs value to team etc. This is literally "Rookie of the Year", as in singular, as in this year, jackass.

So, on top of everything else, he feels like Kerry Wood was undeserving of Rookie of the Year. 

That's all I need to know.

This is a good point. Has someone asked him about KW?

Please don't. He'll remind you that Wood missed the entire 1999 season with Tommy John disease so his 1998 season was null and void.

Are you okay with asking him the question in the form of a Kerry Wood fastball to the groin then?

[Saul Goodman]

Definitely keep pitching to Tony Ballgame with Siegrist, Mike.

[CubFaninHydePark]

Let the 2016 additions commence.

[Tonker]

I literally don't have the words to express how I feel about Tony Ballgame.  I don't yet love him quite as much as I do Kerry, but he's heading in that direction.

[SKO]

I literally don't have the words to express how I feel about Tony Ballgame.  I don't yet love him quite as much as I do Kerry, but he's heading in that direction.

Oh he's tops in my book already, but I apparently just gravitate towards any good Cubs first baseman. Mark Grace was my favorite growing up, Derrek Lee was my favorite for pretty much his entire tenure, but now Tony is the man. Considering Tony will hopefully play over a decade in Chicago and be the first baseman on multiple pennant/championship winning teams, I think he'll have the #1 spot locked down for good.

[J Rod]

I literally don't have the words to express how I feel about Tony Ballgame.  I don't yet love him quite as much as I do Kerry, but he's heading in that direction.

Oh he's tops in my book already, but I apparently just gravitate towards any good Cubs first baseman. Mark Grace was my favorite growing up, Derrek Lee was my favorite for pretty much his entire tenure, but now Tony is the man. Considering Tony will hopefully play over a decade in Chicago and be the first baseman on multiple pennant/championship winning teams, I think he'll have the #1 spot locked down for good.

Definitely #1 on the current team currently [/edit].  I usually don't put much stock into what a guy is like off the field, but from what I understand Tony is an all around good dude, in addition to being nails on the field, so it makes it that much easier to root for him (and why I don't mind my son wearing a Rizzo shersey).

[Quality Start Machine]

Rizzo's dangerously close to leapfrogging Dawson as my #2 all-time. He is the fucking balls.

[InternetApex]

Rizzo's dangerously close to leapfrogging Dawson as my #2 all-time. He is the fucking balls.

I feel like having FAVORITE PLAYERS at my age is extremely childish. But then LeBron's dong falls out of my mouth and I realize I'm a fucking fetus. That said, it's hard to pick a favorite on this team. Arrieta has to be it for me though. He is everything that is man.

[Powdered Toast Man]

My favorite Cub is Mark Grace. That may be an odd choice, but I played 1B as a kid and learned a lot about hitting by watching his AB's.

My favorite current Cub is Kris Bryant, but this roster is so full of players that you just can't hate.

Rizzo is definitely the heartbeat of the clubhouse. Look back on when he first arrived. You remember him? Timid? Quiet? I think it all turned around the moment he decided he wanted to close hand fistfight Aroldis Chapman in Cincinnati. It's been a good time watching him morph into the player and teammate he is today.

I already have Bryant and Soler shirseys, I root for Bryant and Schwarber and Soler with the might and hope of a trillion suns, and just last night when Rizzo sent that dong a flying into the fake rocks in Anaheim, I looked deep inside myself and realized I've been taking Tony Ballgame for granted all this time.

Gotta get that shirsey.

ETA: I completely forgot about Kerry Wood. I'm sorry, Kerry. I'm sorry, world. (I had a Kerry Wood shirsey.)

[Canadouche]

That was one of the best parts of last year: it's hard to find a player to hate on this team. I presume that Lackey will fill that role this year, and I may even come to love to despise him.

I became a Cubs fan in 1987, and it was on the back of Andre Dawson, who will always be my favourite player. There were a lot of likeable Cubs on those teams as well, and I'm always going to fondly remember Dunston, Sandberg, Grace, Maddux, Sutcliffe, and a few others. Wood was my first favourite as an adult, although I spent most of his career in anxiety about his career, which kind of kills the buzz.

Modern day, I really think Heyward is going to surge to the forefront of my favourite players. He just reminds me too much of Dawson, even though he doesn't hit as many homeruns. But it's legitimately hard to choose one guy on this team. You almost have to break it down to favourite guy in the infield (Brizzoyant), favourite guy in the outfield, and favourite pitcher (Jake).

But if I'm being honest, I miss Starlin. I hope someone can carry about with the kind of energy he had last year. I don't think it was essential, but it was special.

[PenFoe]

That was one of the best parts of last year: it's hard to find a player to hate on this team. I presume that Lackey will fill that role this year, and I may even come to love to despise him.

I became a Cubs fan in 1987, and it was on the back of Andre Dawson, who will always be my favourite player. There were a lot of likeable Cubs on those teams as well, and I'm always going to fondly remember Dunston, Sandberg, Grace, Maddux, Sutcliffe, and a few others. Wood was my first favourite as an adult, although I spent most of his career in anxiety about his career, which kind of kills the buzz.

Modern day, I really think Heyward is going to surge to the forefront of my favourite players. He just reminds me too much of Dawson, even though he doesn't hit as many homeruns. But it's legitimately hard to choose one guy on this team. You almost have to break it down to favourite guy in the infield (Brizzoyant), favourite guy in the outfield, and favourite pitcher (Jake).

But if I'm being honest, I miss Starlin. I hope someone can carry about with the kind of energy he had last year. I don't think it was essential, but it was special.

I mean, if we're actually gonna do this:
LaStella
Lackey
Hammel (hopefully not, but certainly has continued potential)

There are some other long-term bets (Zobrist, for sure) but the list is much smaller than in prior years.

[InternetApex]

That was one of the best parts of last year: it's hard to find a player to hate on this team. I presume that Lackey will fill that role this year, and I may even come to love to despise him.

I became a Cubs fan in 1987, and it was on the back of Andre Dawson, who will always be my favourite player. There were a lot of likeable Cubs on those teams as well, and I'm always going to fondly remember Dunston, Sandberg, Grace, Maddux, Sutcliffe, and a few others. Wood was my first favourite as an adult, although I spent most of his career in anxiety about his career, which kind of kills the buzz.

Modern day, I really think Heyward is going to surge to the forefront of my favourite players. He just reminds me too much of Dawson, even though he doesn't hit as many homeruns. But it's legitimately hard to choose one guy on this team. You almost have to break it down to favourite guy in the infield (Brizzoyant), favourite guy in the outfield, and favourite pitcher (Jake).

But if I'm being honest, I miss Starlin. I hope someone can carry about with the kind of energy he had last year. I don't think it was essential, but it was special.

I mean, if we're actually gonna do this:
LaStella
Lackey
Hammel (hopefully not, but certainly has continued potential)

There are some other long-term bets (Zobrist, for sure) but the list is much smaller than in prior years.

Why Zobrist? Too old and may fail to live up to his reasonable contract? I don't find much to hate about a guy with his skill set and personality. Plus Joe knows him and likes him. What am I missing here?