The Anthony Rizzo DongFest Thread

[morpheus]

He gonna suck

Bumped for a two-run FYY

The fact that we do not have an open "FYY" thread is one of the great injustices of our time.

[Shooter]

He gonna suck

Bumped for a two-run FYY

The fact that we do not have an open "FYY" thread is one of the great injustices of our time.

We do have this: link

[Yeti]

Fuck me?

[World's #1 Astros Fan]

Why aren't CastroBombs FYY material?  I'm cornfused.

[Brownie]

Why aren't CastroBombs FYY material?  I'm cornfused.

Aren't we waiting for Epstink to sign Starlin to a 9-year extension that includes the most restrictive no-trade clause in history to FYC in a way neither Corey Patterson nor Soriano were capable of producing?

[World's #1 Astros Fan]

Why aren't CastroBombs FYY material?  I'm cornfused.

Aren't we waiting for Epstink to sign Starlin to a 9-year extension that includes the most restrictive no-trade clause in history to FYC in a way neither Corey Patterson nor Soriano were capable of producing?

Not sure but back on topic for a sec--until now I hadn't actually seen Rizzo's first HR on Saturday.  Kind of sweet that it followed a two-out, opposite field single by Starlin, and way awesome that he nearly hit out on to Sheffield-- a more difficult task than reaching the streets in left-- but I confess to being slightly uncomfortable with his pose/strut.  I mean, I don't mind rooting for a douche if it means a championship, but given a choice, I'd likelike for my guys not to be douches.  Tell me what a prick I'm being.

[CT III]

Why aren't CastroBombs FYY material?  I'm cornfused.

Aren't we waiting for Epstink to sign Starlin to a 9-year extension that includes the most restrictive no-trade clause in history to FYC in a way neither Corey Patterson nor Soriano were capable of producing?

Not sure but back on topic for a sec--until now I hadn't actually seen Rizzo's first HR on Saturday.  Kind of sweet that it followed a two-out, opposite field single by Starlin, and way awesome that he nearly hit out on to Sheffield-- a more difficult task than reaching the streets in left-- but I confess to being slightly uncomfortable with his pose/strut.  I mean, I don't mind rooting for a douche if it means a championship, but given a choice, I'd likelike for my guys not to be douches.  Tell me what a prick I'm being.

Whatever you're being, it's certainly not a meatball.

[World's #1 Astros Fan]

Why aren't CastroBombs FYY material?  I'm cornfused.

Aren't we waiting for Epstink to sign Starlin to a 9-year extension that includes the most restrictive no-trade clause in history to FYC in a way neither Corey Patterson nor Soriano were capable of producing?

Not sure but back on topic for a sec--until now I hadn't actually seen Rizzo's first HR on Saturday.  Kind of sweet that it followed a two-out, opposite field single by Starlin, and way awesome that he nearly hit out on to Sheffield-- a more difficult task than reaching the streets in left-- but I confess to being slightly uncomfortable with his pose/strut.  I mean, I don't mind rooting for a douche if it means a championship, but given a choice, I'd likelike for my guys not to be douches.  Tell me what a prick I'm being.

Whatever you're being, it's certainly not a meatball.

ACK LIKE YOO BIN DERE BEFORE, LIKE WALTER!

(Screw you, Eli)

[Powdered Toast Man]

Not sure but back on topic for a sec--until now I hadn't actually seen Rizzo's first HR on Saturday.  Kind of sweet that it followed a two-out, opposite field single by Starlin, and way awesome that he nearly hit out on to Sheffield-- a more difficult task than reaching the streets in left-- but I confess to being slightly uncomfortable with his pose/strut.  I mean, I don't mind rooting for a douche if it means a championship, but given a choice, I'd likelike for my guys not to be douches.  Tell me what a prick I'm being.

What in the fucking fuck?

[Quality Start Machine]

Seriously - all Hoyer gave up was Cashner for this guy?

[Saul Goodman]

Seriously - all Hoyer gave up was Cashner for this guy?

Whoa there. Let's see what he does over a full season or two. There's still time for Cashner to win twelve Cy Youngs while Rizzo defaults to LaRochian mediocrity.

[Chuck to Chuck]

Seriously - all Hoyer gave up was Cashner for this guy?

And Adrian Gonzalez.

[Internet Apex]

Why aren't CastroBombs FYY material?  I'm cornfused.

Aren't we waiting for Epstink to sign Starlin to a 9-year extension that includes the most restrictive no-trade clause in history to FYC in a way neither Corey Patterson nor Soriano were capable of producing?

Not sure but back on topic for a sec--until now I hadn't actually seen Rizzo's first HR on Saturday.  Kind of sweet that it followed a two-out, opposite field single by Starlin, and way awesome that he nearly hit out on to Sheffield-- a more difficult task than reaching the streets in left-- but I confess to being slightly uncomfortable with his pose/strut.  I mean, I don't mind rooting for a douche if it means a championship, but given a choice, I'd likelike for my guys not to be douches.  Tell me what a prick I'm being.

Didn't you ride the Big Z wagon til the wheels fell off with the rest of us? How many championships did that thing garner? Not that it was Z's fault that he was the only player on the team who showed up for both playoff sweeps in the late oughts. But there probably was no larger douche than that guy and boy did we love him just the same. What are you turning into?

Also, that was a go-ahead dong. You do what you gotta do in that situation. It's not showing anybody up. If a player acts like that in garbage time, that's when they get plunked for it. Unless they're Sammy Sosa. Seemed like he could do whatever the fuck he wanted.

[World's #1 Astros Fan]

Why aren't CastroBombs FYY material?  I'm cornfused.

Aren't we waiting for Epstink to sign Starlin to a 9-year extension that includes the most restrictive no-trade clause in history to FYC in a way neither Corey Patterson nor Soriano were capable of producing?

Not sure but back on topic for a sec--until now I hadn't actually seen Rizzo's first HR on Saturday.  Kind of sweet that it followed a two-out, opposite field single by Starlin, and way awesome that he nearly hit out on to Sheffield-- a more difficult task than reaching the streets in left-- but I confess to being slightly uncomfortable with his pose/strut.  I mean, I don't mind rooting for a douche if it means a championship, but given a choice, I'd likelike for my guys not to be douches.  Tell me what a prick I'm being.

Didn't you ride the Big Z wagon til the wheels fell off with the rest of us? How many championships did that thing garner? Not that it was Z's fault that he was the only player on the team who showed up for both playoff sweeps in the late oughts. But there probably was no larger douche than that guy and boy did we love him just the same. What are you turning into?

Also, that was a go-ahead dong. You do what you gotta do in that situation. It's not showing anybody up. If a player acts like that in garbage time, that's when they get plunked for it. Unless they're Sammy Sosa. Seemed like he could do whatever the fuck he wanted.

Also, it was gone as soon as he hit it--like I said, it takes a poke to reach Sheffield so it had to be an awesome feeling to hit what you know right away is a legit HR in any ballpark.  

Just wanted to check it out, get it on record, that's all.  

Also for the record, and back to the sploosh, I wanted to note this play .  This was before said first  homerun and kept the score 1-0.  Helluva play.  Scooped a grounder on a tough hop, makes the decision to throw home and throws a strike.  Any indecision on that play results in the run scoring and possibly an error.  I already love how this kid plays.

[BH]

Why aren't CastroBombs FYY material?  I'm cornfused.

Aren't we waiting for Epstink to sign Starlin to a 9-year extension that includes the most restrictive no-trade clause in history to FYC in a way neither Corey Patterson nor Soriano were capable of producing?

Not sure but back on topic for a sec--until now I hadn't actually seen Rizzo's first HR on Saturday.  Kind of sweet that it followed a two-out, opposite field single by Starlin, and way awesome that he nearly hit out on to Sheffield-- a more difficult task than reaching the streets in left-- but I confess to being slightly uncomfortable with his pose/strut.  I mean, I don't mind rooting for a douche if it means a championship, but given a choice, I'd likelike for my guys not to be douches.  Tell me what a prick I'm being.

Didn't you ride the Big Z wagon til the wheels fell off with the rest of us? How many championships did that thing garner? Not that it was Z's fault that he was the only player on the team who showed up for both playoff sweeps in the late oughts. But there probably was no larger douche than that guy and boy did we love him just the same. What are you turning into?

Also, that was a go-ahead dong. You do what you gotta do in that situation. It's not showing anybody up. If a player acts like that in garbage time, that's when they get plunked for it. Unless they're Sammy Sosa. Seemed like he could do whatever the fuck he wanted.

Also, it was gone as soon as he hit it--like I said, it takes a poke to reach Sheffield so it had to be an awesome feeling to hit what you know right away is a legit HR in any ballpark.  

Just wanted to check it out, get it on record, that's all.  

Also for the record, and back to the sploosh, I wanted to note this play .  This was before said first  homerun and kept the score 1-0.  Helluva play.  Scooped a grounder on a tough hop, makes the decision to throw home and throws a strike.  Any indecision on that play results in the run scoring and possibly an error.  I already love how this kid plays.

You just hate his attitude? Good God man.