The Anthony Rizzo DongFest Thread

[Tonker]

Holy Christing fuck.

[Quality Start Machine]

He caught Joe Hardy Trevor Story. Now he gets 6 games of feasting on Brewers/Braves pitching.

[SKO]

He caught Joe Hardy Trevor Story. Now he gets 6 games of feasting on Brewers/Braves pitching.

I know baseball and baseball things happen (hence Lackey shitting the tub against the Reds the other night), but I'm not going to lie...I am expecting them to win every single game against these two at home, and will be mildly disappointed if they do not go 6-0.

[Quality Start Machine]

He caught Joe Hardy Trevor Story. Now he gets 6 games of feasting on Brewers/Braves pitching.

I know baseball and baseball things happen (hence Lackey shitting the tub against the Reds the other night), but I'm not going to lie...I am expecting them to win every single game against these two at home, and will be mildly disappointed if they do not go 6-0.

Which would put them 15 games over before May 1.

This.

Fucking.

Team.

[Eli]

He caught Joe Hardy Trevor Story. Now he gets 6 games of feasting on Brewers/Braves pitching.

I know baseball and baseball things happen (hence Lackey shitting the tub against the Reds the other night), but I'm not going to lie...I am expecting them to win every single game against these two at home, and will be mildly disappointed if they do not go 6-0.

Which would put them 15 games over before May 1.

This.

Fucking.

Team.

I'm eager to see the Pirates and Nationals series. Not that this start isn't impressive, but they've only had 3 games against non-garbage teams so far. Facing some kind of test will be good for them.

[SKO]

He caught Joe Hardy Trevor Story. Now he gets 6 games of feasting on Brewers/Braves pitching.

I know baseball and baseball things happen (hence Lackey shitting the tub against the Reds the other night), but I'm not going to lie...I am expecting them to win every single game against these two at home, and will be mildly disappointed if they do not go 6-0.

Which would put them 15 games over before May 1.

This.

Fucking.

Team.

I'm eager to see the Pirates and Nationals series. Not that this start isn't impressive, but they've only had 3 games against non-garbage teams so far. Facing some kind of test will be good for them.

Indeed, but I'd also like to be 15 games above .500 and hopefully like 5-7 games up in the division by the time they get there so that said test will be completely irrelevant to the standings.

[Shooter]

He caught Joe Hardy Trevor Story. Now he gets 6 games of feasting on Brewers/Braves pitching.

I know baseball and baseball things happen (hence Lackey shitting the tub against the Reds the other night), but I'm not going to lie...I am expecting them to win every single game against these two at home, and will be mildly disappointed if they do not go 6-0.

Which would put them 15 games over before May 1.

This.

Fucking.

Team.

I'm eager to see the Pirates and Nationals series. Not that this start isn't impressive, but they've only had 3 games against non-garbage teams so far. Facing some kind of test will be good for them.

The National's schedule has been even weaker -- zero games against non-garbage teams so far.

[Brownie]

Oh, I don't know:

Records of Cubs opponents against teams that do not play home games in Tom Tunney's Ward:

Reds: 8-4   (1-6 vs. Cubs)  (3-0 vs. PHI, 2-1 vs. PIT, 1-2 vs. STL, 2-1 vs. COL)
Cardinals: 9-6  (1-2 vs. Cubs)  (0-2 vs. Pit, 3-0 vs. Atl, 2-1 vs. mil, 2-1 vs Cin, 2-1 vs. SD)
Rockies: 7-8   (2-1 vs. Cubs)   (2-1 vs. Ariz, 1-2 vs SD, 2-1 vs. SF, 1-2 vs Cin, 1-2 vs LA)
Diamondbacks: 9-7  (1-3 vs. Cubs)  (1-2 vs. LA, 1-2 vs. Col, 3-0 vs. SD, 4-0 vs. SF, 1-2 vs. PIT)
Angels: 8-9  (0-2 vs. Cubs)  (2-2 vs. Tex, 3-0 vs. Oak, 0-3 vs. Min, 2-2 vs. Sox, 1-2 vs. Seattle)

Total: 41-34

OK, suppose you take out their records in games played against each other...
Reds: 5-1
Cardinals: 7-5
Rockies: 4-5
Diamondbacks: 8-5
Angels: 8-9
Total: 32-25

Records vs. non-garbage, non-common opponents (PIT, Oak, LA, Texas, Sox, SF):
Reds: 2-1
Cards: 0-2
Rockies: 3-3
Dbacks: 6-4
Angels: 7-4
Total: 18-14

Maybe not as rancid trash as we thought. Except for the Reds and Cardinals?

[Quality Start Machine]

He caught Joe Hardy Trevor Story. Now he gets 6 games of feasting on Brewers/Braves pitching.

I know baseball and baseball things happen (hence Lackey shitting the tub against the Reds the other night), but I'm not going to lie...I am expecting them to win every single game against these two at home, and will be mildly disappointed if they do not go 6-0.

Which would put them 15 games over before May 1.

This.

Fucking.

Team.

I'm eager to see the Pirates and Nationals series. Not that this start isn't impressive, but they've only had 3 games against non-garbage teams so far. Facing some kind of test will be good for them.

Fuck that. The Cubs are the test now.

[SKO]

OPS is back north 1.000 after that dong. Tony is the best.

[InternetApex]

OPS is back north 1.000 after that dong. Tony is the best.

Hey Hey, holy mackerel! No doubt about it.

[Quality Start Machine]

He caught Joe Hardy Trevor Story. Now he gets 6 games of feasting on Brewers/Braves pitching.

I know baseball and baseball things happen (hence Lackey shitting the tub against the Reds the other night), but I'm not going to lie...I am expecting them to win every single game against these two at home, and will be mildly disappointed if they do not go 6-0.

Which would put them 15 games over before May 1.

This.

Fucking.

Team.

I'm eager to see the Pirates and Nationals series. Not that this start isn't impressive, but they've only had 3 games against non-garbage teams so far. Facing some kind of test will be good for them.

Fuck that. The Cubs are the test now.

[Saul Goodman]

He caught Joe Hardy Trevor Story. Now he gets 6 games of feasting on Brewers/Braves pitching.

I know baseball and baseball things happen (hence Lackey shitting the tub against the Reds the other night), but I'm not going to lie...I am expecting them to win every single game against these two at home, and will be mildly disappointed if they do not go 6-0.

Which would put them 15 games over before May 1.

This.

Fucking.

Team.

I'm eager to see the Pirates and Nationals series. Not that this start isn't impressive, but they've only had 3 games against non-garbage teams so far. Facing some kind of test will be good for them.

Fuck that. The Cubs are the test now.

#pankquote

[Quality Start Machine]

He caught Joe Hardy Trevor Story. Now he gets 6 games of feasting on Brewers/Braves pitching.

I know baseball and baseball things happen (hence Lackey shitting the tub against the Reds the other night), but I'm not going to lie...I am expecting them to win every single game against these two at home, and will be mildly disappointed if they do not go 6-0.

Which would put them 15 games over before May 1.

This.

Fucking.

Team.

I'm eager to see the Pirates and Nationals series. Not that this start isn't impressive, but they've only had 3 games against non-garbage teams so far. Facing some kind of test will be good for them.

Fuck that. The Cubs are the test now.

#pankquote

Nope, just reiterating my previous point. The Cubs are now 5 games up for best record in the NL. They're the yardstick.

[InternetApex]

He caught Joe Hardy Trevor Story. Now he gets 6 games of feasting on Brewers/Braves pitching.

I know baseball and baseball things happen (hence Lackey shitting the tub against the Reds the other night), but I'm not going to lie...I am expecting them to win every single game against these two at home, and will be mildly disappointed if they do not go 6-0.

Which would put them 15 games over before May 1.

This.

Fucking.

Team.

I'm eager to see the Pirates and Nationals series. Not that this start isn't impressive, but they've only had 3 games against non-garbage teams so far. Facing some kind of test will be good for them.

Fuck that. The Cubs are the test now.

#pankquote

Nope, just reiterating my previous point. The Cubs are now 5 games up for best record in the NL. They're the yardstick.

We'll see how they look against the AL All-Stars in July.