The Anthony Rizzo DongFest Thread

[Canadouche]

Any time this guy misses significant time, I get afraid the Hodgkin's is back.

So, you've had this concern for the first time ever since last week?

No.

I didn't realize missing a game (or was it maybe two?) for a sore back constituted as "significant time."

I apologize for the person who pissed in your cornflakes today.

Just pointing out that he's rarely been out of the lineup. Until now, he hasn't missed any significant time since 2014, when he was out for the first half of September - with a mild back strain.

It would be easier for you to find instances on this shit-for-brains site where it's suggested he could use a day or two off.

Caratini looks competent enough to fill in once every couple of weeks for Tony, which I think would help. He's not old but in baseball years he's also not young anymore and the team would probably benefit from him not averaging 155 games a year or whatever he's averaged other than 2014. Keeping him healthy and effective for October (he admitted he was tired in 2016 and that's why he switched to Szczur's lighter bat in the NLCS and then last October he looked...not great) should be a goal.

Especially since he seems to have the tendency to run out of gas in late September.

[SKO]

Any time this guy misses significant time, I get afraid the Hodgkin's is back.

So, you've had this concern for the first time ever since last week?

No.

I didn't realize missing a game (or was it maybe two?) for a sore back constituted as "significant time."

I apologize for the person who pissed in your cornflakes today.

Just pointing out that he's rarely been out of the lineup. Until now, he hasn't missed any significant time since 2014, when he was out for the first half of September - with a mild back strain.

It would be easier for you to find instances on this shit-for-brains site where it's suggested he could use a day or two off.

Caratini looks competent enough to fill in once every couple of weeks for Tony, which I think would help. He's not old but in baseball years he's also not young anymore and the team would probably benefit from him not averaging 155 games a year or whatever he's averaged other than 2014. Keeping him healthy and effective for October (he admitted he was tired in 2016 and that's why he switched to Szczur's lighter bat in the NLCS and then last October he looked...not great) should be a goal.

Especially since he seems to have the tendency to run out of gas in late September.

Indeed, his Sept/Oct OPS, while still a respectable .803 for his career, is his lowest of any month, and he's got a career postseason line of .216/.300/.396 (although worth noting his line for the 2016 NLCS/WS was a boner-ific .340/.431/.620)

So yeah I mean among other reasons why it would be good to see the Cubs overcome this slow start and cruise to the division lead like they did in 2016 is that it'd probably pay off to be able to give Tony more breathers than he's used to.

[CBStew]

Any time this guy misses significant time, I get afraid the Hodgkin's is back.

So, you've had this concern for the first time ever since last week?

No.

I didn't realize missing a game (or was it maybe two?) for a sore back constituted as "significant time."

I apologize for the person who pissed in your cornflakes today.

Just pointing out that he's rarely been out of the lineup. Until now, he hasn't missed any significant time since 2014, when he was out for the first half of September - with a mild back strain.

It would be easier for you to find instances on this shit-for-brains site where it's suggested he could use a day or two off.

Caratini looks competent enough to fill in once every couple of weeks for Tony, which I think would help. He's not old but in baseball years he's also not young anymore and the team would probably benefit from him not averaging 155 games a year or whatever he's averaged other than 2014. Keeping him healthy and effective for October (he admitted he was tired in 2016 and that's why he switched to Szczur's lighter bat in the NLCS and then last October he looked...not great) should be a goal.

Especially since he seems to have the tendency to run out of gas in late September.

I ran out of gas in 1992, right around Thanksgiving.

[SKO]

Any time this guy misses significant time, I get afraid the Hodgkin's is back.

So, you've had this concern for the first time ever since last week?

No.

I didn't realize missing a game (or was it maybe two?) for a sore back constituted as "significant time."

I apologize for the person who pissed in your cornflakes today.

Just pointing out that he's rarely been out of the lineup. Until now, he hasn't missed any significant time since 2014, when he was out for the first half of September - with a mild back strain.

It would be easier for you to find instances on this shit-for-brains site where it's suggested he could use a day or two off.

Caratini looks competent enough to fill in once every couple of weeks for Tony, which I think would help. He's not old but in baseball years he's also not young anymore and the team would probably benefit from him not averaging 155 games a year or whatever he's averaged other than 2014. Keeping him healthy and effective for October (he admitted he was tired in 2016 and that's why he switched to Szczur's lighter bat in the NLCS and then last October he looked...not great) should be a goal.

Especially since he seems to have the tendency to run out of gas in late September.

I ran out of gas in 1992, right around Thanksgiving.

I'd have figured you were an old enough model that you ran on steam.

[Quality Start Machine]

There is nothing as much fun as watching Tony vaporize baseballs.

[Shooter]

Bump

[Saul Goodman]

And what a magnificent dong it was.  No cheapies for our boy Tony.

[Saul Goodman]

He's been hitting the shit out of the ball lately, most recently that scalding 109-mph RBI double off Syndergaard.  That's worth a bump.

[Yeti]

Remember when he wasn't good at baseball?

[Saul Goodman]

Remember when he wasn't good at baseball?

The Padres remember.

[Saul Goodman]

FUCK YOU JOSH HADER