Bearbonnais 2012: Emstink is Wonderful.

[CT III]

Bears name J'Marcus Webb 2nd worst LT in the league.  Chris Williams takes the top spot.

http://blogs.suntimes.com/bears/2012/08/jmarcus_webb_and_gabe_carimi_w.html

It's not the beginning of the end it's the end of the beginning or something Tice, schemes, something else, jew penises.

That's probably still the right call. Chris Williams at this point is probably the less mistake-prone player, but J'Marcus still has a ton of talent. I'm not a big Webb defender, but if you want to make the most of this news, Webb's biggest issue is stupidity, not consistency. I've mentioned before that, while Pro Football Focus had him ranked low overall on the season, he was a solid run blocker and his pass blocking was average or above average in most of his games. Unfortunately, the games where he graded out poorly were utter fucking disasters like Detroit, KC, Denver, and Seattle. Understandably, the Bears are thinking that if he was a respectable tackle most of the time who merely fucked up tremendously when he was put in bad situations, you reduce the number of bad situations and hope all goes well from there. I still think they'll be able to patchwork their way through this season at LT and then make that their top offseason priority. If Carimi stays healthy they've got more than enough depth at the other four spots on the line to be a productive offense. You can hide a LT if you have to, especially if you're going to be running a decent amount of bootlegs with a right handed passer.

Wow, this is midseason bullshit toleration in early August.  Bravo.

[Slaky]

Here's where I'm at: Urlacher is clearly hurt and it's a matter of time before he goes on IR. There is no reasonable back up plan.

DOOM

[Brownie]

Here's where I'm at: Urlacher is clearly hurt and it's a matter of time before he goes on IR. There is no reasonable back up plan.

DOOM

Chris Williams drops 65 pounds over the next four weeks and converts to middle linebacker. SUPA BEARS SUPA BOWL!

[World's #1 Astros Fan]

Here's where I'm at: Urlacher is clearly hurt and it's a matter of time before he goes on IR. There is no reasonable back up plan.

DOOM

Chris Williams drops 65 pounds over the next four weeks and converts to middle linebacker. SUPA BEARS SUPA BOWL!

WE HADNT HAD A TWO WAY PLAYER LIKE DAT SINCE GEORGE CONNORS CAME OUTTA NORTER DAME!

[R-V]

Here's where I'm at: Urlacher is clearly hurt and it's a matter of time before he goes on IR. There is no reasonable back up plan.

DOOM

Chris Williams drops 65 pounds over the next four weeks and converts to middle linebacker. SUPA BEARS SUPA BOWL!

Why bother with Chris Williams when Chris Zorich is available to play MLB?

[Internet Apex]

Here's where I'm at: Urlacher is clearly hurt and it's a matter of time before he goes on IR. There is no reasonable back up plan.

DOOM

Chris Williams drops 65 pounds over the next four weeks and converts to middle linebacker. SUPA BEARS SUPA BOWL!

Why bother with Chris Williams when Chris Zorich is available to play MLB?

Rick Noach's football I.Q. will drink the blood of the non-believers.

[Internet Apex]

Brad Biggs has Tweeted that the Bears have re-signed Alex Brown so that he can retire a Bear. He recovered a fumble in the Super Bowl for all the good it did him. Go Gata.

[CBStew]

Brad Biggs has Tweeted that the Bears have re-signed Alex Brown so that he can retire a Bear. He recovered a fumble in the Super Bowl for all the good it did him. Go Gata.

There is a cottage industry in here.   How about paying a fee to the Cubs/Bears/Marlins/whoever and in return you get signed to a contract employing you and simultaneously accepting your resignation/retirement without benefits or other compensation?  You can say that you retired as a member of the New York Jets!  No danger of raiding the pension plan since no contributions were ever made on your behalf.  Of course there would be a finder's fee, (agent commission), for the guy who brokers the deal.  Kind of like Rudy.

[CT III]

Brad Biggs has Tweeted that the Bears have re-signed Alex Brown so that he can retire a Bear. He recovered a fumble in the Super Bowl for all the good it did him. Go Gata.

There is a cottage industry in here.   How about paying a fee to the Cubs/Bears/Marlins/whoever and in return you get signed to a contract employing you and simultaneously accepting your resignation/retirement without benefits or other compensation?  You can say that you retired as a member of the New York Jets!  No danger of raiding the pension plan since no contributions were ever made on your behalf.  Of course there would be a finder's fee, (agent commission), for the guy who brokers the deal.  Kind of like Rudy.

I've read this several times and somebody's going to have to convince me that it isn't fucking brilliant.

[Saul Goodman]

There are so many Cubs fans who would shell out for this that Theo can sign all the Carl Crawfords and John Lackeys he wants. /shudder

[Chuck to Chuck]

Brad Biggs has Tweeted that the Bears have re-signed Alex Brown so that he can retire a Bear. He recovered a fumble in the Super Bowl for all the good it did him. Go Gata.

There is a cottage industry in here.   How about paying a fee to the Cubs/Bears/Marlins/whoever and in return you get signed to a contract employing you and simultaneously accepting your resignation/retirement without benefits or other compensation?  You can say that you retired as a member of the New York Jets!  No danger of raiding the pension plan since no contributions were ever made on your behalf.  Of course there would be a finder's fee, (agent commission), for the guy who brokers the deal.  Kind of like Rudy.

I've read this several times and somebody's going to have to convince me that it isn't fucking brilliant.

It's as least as brilliant as the Packers selling colored paper for $100 per sheet and calling it stock.

[Quality Start Machine]

Brad Biggs has Tweeted that the Bears have re-signed Alex Brown so that he can retire a Bear. He recovered a fumble in the Super Bowl for all the good it did him. Go Gata.

There is a cottage industry in here.   How about paying a fee to the Cubs/Bears/Marlins/whoever and in return you get signed to a contract employing you and simultaneously accepting your resignation/retirement without benefits or other compensation?  You can say that you retired as a member of the New York Jets!  No danger of raiding the pension plan since no contributions were ever made on your behalf.  Of course there would be a finder's fee, (agent commission), for the guy who brokers the deal.  Kind of like Rudy.

You can actually take the concept and build it out - the basic "retirement package" includes contract and termination.

For additional fees, they can include things like uniform, locker nameplate, doing the ceremonial coinflip, football card, team meal etc.

Port this over to other sports (with appropriate adjustments for that sport), and you could even make the Phoenix Coyotes profitable.

[J. Walter Weatherman]

Brad Biggs has Tweeted that the Bears have re-signed Alex Brown so that he can retire a Bear. He recovered a fumble in the Super Bowl for all the good it did him. Go Gata.

There is a cottage industry in here.   How about paying a fee to the Cubs/Bears/Marlins/whoever and in return you get signed to a contract employing you and simultaneously accepting your resignation/retirement without benefits or other compensation?  You can say that you retired as a member of the New York Jets!  No danger of raiding the pension plan since no contributions were ever made on your behalf.  Of course there would be a finder's fee, (agent commission), for the guy who brokers the deal.  Kind of like Rudy.

You can actually take the concept and build it out - the basic "retirement package" includes contract and termination.

For additional fees, they can include things like uniform, locker nameplate, doing the ceremonial coinflip, football card, team meal etc.

Port this over to other sports (with appropriate adjustments for that sport), and you could even make the Phoenix Coyotes profitable.

Who wants to retire as a Coyote?

[J. Walter Weatherman]

Brad Biggs has Tweeted that the Bears have re-signed Alex Brown so that he can retire a Bear. He recovered a fumble in the Super Bowl for all the good it did him. Go Gata.

There is a cottage industry in here.   How about paying a fee to the Cubs/Bears/Marlins/whoever and in return you get signed to a contract employing you and simultaneously accepting your resignation/retirement without benefits or other compensation?  You can say that you retired as a member of the New York Jets!  No danger of raiding the pension plan since no contributions were ever made on your behalf.  Of course there would be a finder's fee, (agent commission), for the guy who brokers the deal.  Kind of like Rudy.

I've read this several times and somebody's going to have to convince me that it isn't fucking brilliant.

It's as least as brilliant as the Packers selling colored paper for $100 per sheet and calling it stock.

4 Fans Sake!

[Quality Start Machine]

Brad Biggs has Tweeted that the Bears have re-signed Alex Brown so that he can retire a Bear. He recovered a fumble in the Super Bowl for all the good it did him. Go Gata.

There is a cottage industry in here.   How about paying a fee to the Cubs/Bears/Marlins/whoever and in return you get signed to a contract employing you and simultaneously accepting your resignation/retirement without benefits or other compensation?  You can say that you retired as a member of the New York Jets!  No danger of raiding the pension plan since no contributions were ever made on your behalf.  Of course there would be a finder's fee, (agent commission), for the guy who brokers the deal.  Kind of like Rudy.

You can actually take the concept and build it out - the basic "retirement package" includes contract and termination.

For additional fees, they can include things like uniform, locker nameplate, doing the ceremonial coinflip, football card, team meal etc.

Port this over to other sports (with appropriate adjustments for that sport), and you could even make the Phoenix Coyotes profitable.

Who wants to retire as a Coyote?

The same guys who still buy Hartford Whalers shit.