Tonker's Upscale Fast Food Tour and Reviews

[Tonker]

I don't know where to put this, but I had a great experience at mEAT on Chestnut. You order meats by the skewer and share sides a-la-carte. The mac and cheese and brussels sprouts were unreal and the meatballs and pork skewers were definitely solid. My American Mule cocktail and the lady's margarita were also merrily consumed.

Please don't tell me this is another Corner Bakery moment for me.

Nope, that's some fine-assed eating. Next time,  treat yourself to Publican go back and bump this thread for suggestions.

Order!, Order!'d

On another note, I think IAN is ashamed of us.  This is, at least, his second trip to Chicago (if Facebook is to be believed) with IANGF and not one shred of evidence of getting together.

Oh he most definitely is ashamed of you all and he's not wrong

I'm certainly ashamed of the lot of you.  Fortunately, though, STonk is mostly thoroughly ashamed of me, so it all comes out in the wash.

My wife is remarkably tolerant of the whole desipio thing but the one time I brought her to an actual desipio event she had to meet and hear Fro Dog's opinions and Yeti spilled beer all over her feet. I don't blame IAN one bit here.

Point of fact, wasn't that a Hockeenight event?  I don't want Andy taking the fall for Fro's attendance.

It was Tonkfest, in fact.  But there may have been some hockey-related event going on concurrently, I believe.

[Oleg]

I don't know where to put this, but I had a great experience at mEAT on Chestnut. You order meats by the skewer and share sides a-la-carte. The mac and cheese and brussels sprouts were unreal and the meatballs and pork skewers were definitely solid. My American Mule cocktail and the lady's margarita were also merrily consumed.

Please don't tell me this is another Corner Bakery moment for me.

Nope, that's some fine-assed eating. Next time,  treat yourself to Publican go back and bump this thread for suggestions.

Order!, Order!'d

On another note, I think IAN is ashamed of us.  This is, at least, his second trip to Chicago (if Facebook is to be believed) with IANGF and not one shred of evidence of getting together.

Oh he most definitely is ashamed of you all and he's not wrong

I'm certainly ashamed of the lot of you.  Fortunately, though, STonk is mostly thoroughly ashamed of me, so it all comes out in the wash.

My wife is remarkably tolerant of the whole desipio thing but the one time I brought her to an actual desipio event she had to meet and hear Fro Dog's opinions and Yeti spilled beer all over her feet. I don't blame IAN one bit here.

Point of fact, wasn't that a Hockeenight event?  I don't want Andy taking the fall for Fro's attendance.

It was Tonkfest, in fact.  But there may have been some hockey-related event going on concurrently, I believe.

Stuff your wife won't mind...

[SKO]

I don't know where to put this, but I had a great experience at mEAT on Chestnut. You order meats by the skewer and share sides a-la-carte. The mac and cheese and brussels sprouts were unreal and the meatballs and pork skewers were definitely solid. My American Mule cocktail and the lady's margarita were also merrily consumed.

Please don't tell me this is another Corner Bakery moment for me.

Nope, that's some fine-assed eating. Next time,  treat yourself to Publican go back and bump this thread for suggestions.

Order!, Order!'d

On another note, I think IAN is ashamed of us.  This is, at least, his second trip to Chicago (if Facebook is to be believed) with IANGF and not one shred of evidence of getting together.

Oh he most definitely is ashamed of you all and he's not wrong

I'm certainly ashamed of the lot of you.  Fortunately, though, STonk is mostly thoroughly ashamed of me, so it all comes out in the wash.

My wife is remarkably tolerant of the whole desipio thing but the one time I brought her to an actual desipio event she had to meet and hear Fro Dog's opinions and Yeti spilled beer all over her feet. I don't blame IAN one bit here.

Point of fact, wasn't that a Hockeenight event?  I don't want Andy taking the fall for Fro's attendance.

It was Tonkfest, in fact.  But there may have been some hockey-related event going on concurrently, I believe.

It was Tonkfest, indeed. I had to go just so I am officially not being racist when I make jokes about the Welsh, becuase I am personally friends with one in real life.

My wife also thought flannj was quite the handsome older gentleman, and I still laugh at that some times.

[Tonker]

I don't know where to put this, but I had a great experience at mEAT on Chestnut. You order meats by the skewer and share sides a-la-carte. The mac and cheese and brussels sprouts were unreal and the meatballs and pork skewers were definitely solid. My American Mule cocktail and the lady's margarita were also merrily consumed.

Please don't tell me this is another Corner Bakery moment for me.

Nope, that's some fine-assed eating. Next time,  treat yourself to Publican go back and bump this thread for suggestions.

Order!, Order!'d

On another note, I think IAN is ashamed of us.  This is, at least, his second trip to Chicago (if Facebook is to be believed) with IANGF and not one shred of evidence of getting together.

Oh he most definitely is ashamed of you all and he's not wrong

I'm certainly ashamed of the lot of you.  Fortunately, though, STonk is mostly thoroughly ashamed of me, so it all comes out in the wash.

My wife is remarkably tolerant of the whole desipio thing but the one time I brought her to an actual desipio event she had to meet and hear Fro Dog's opinions and Yeti spilled beer all over her feet. I don't blame IAN one bit here.

Point of fact, wasn't that a Hockeenight event?  I don't want Andy taking the fall for Fro's attendance.

It was Tonkfest, in fact.  But there may have been some hockey-related event going on concurrently, I believe.

It was Tonkfest, indeed. I had to go just so I am officially not being racist when I make jokes about the Welsh, becuase I am personally friends with one in real life.

My wife also thought flannj was quite the handsome older gentleman, and I still laugh at that some times.

Flannj is quite the handsome older gentlemen, especially when you bear in mind what poor ESKO has to wake up to every morning.  Put it this way: I'd totes shag Flannj; I'd have to be really, really drunk to sleep with you.

[Quality Start Machine]

I don't know where to put this, but I had a great experience at mEAT on Chestnut. You order meats by the skewer and share sides a-la-carte. The mac and cheese and brussels sprouts were unreal and the meatballs and pork skewers were definitely solid. My American Mule cocktail and the lady's margarita were also merrily consumed.

Please don't tell me this is another Corner Bakery moment for me.

Nope, that's some fine-assed eating. Next time,  treat yourself to Publican go back and bump this thread for suggestions.

Order!, Order!'d

On another note, I think IAN is ashamed of us.  This is, at least, his second trip to Chicago (if Facebook is to be believed) with IANGF and not one shred of evidence of getting together.

Fucker dodged me at a Cub game.

[flannj]

I don't know where to put this, but I had a great experience at mEAT on Chestnut. You order meats by the skewer and share sides a-la-carte. The mac and cheese and brussels sprouts were unreal and the meatballs and pork skewers were definitely solid. My American Mule cocktail and the lady's margarita were also merrily consumed.

Please don't tell me this is another Corner Bakery moment for me.

Nope, that's some fine-assed eating. Next time,  treat yourself to Publican go back and bump this thread for suggestions.

Order!, Order!'d

On another note, I think IAN is ashamed of us.  This is, at least, his second trip to Chicago (if Facebook is to be believed) with IANGF and not one shred of evidence of getting together.

Oh he most definitely is ashamed of you all and he's not wrong

I'm certainly ashamed of the lot of you.  Fortunately, though, STonk is mostly thoroughly ashamed of me, so it all comes out in the wash.

My wife is remarkably tolerant of the whole desipio thing but the one time I brought her to an actual desipio event she had to meet and hear Fro Dog's opinions and Yeti spilled beer all over her feet. I don't blame IAN one bit here.

Point of fact, wasn't that a Hockeenight event?  I don't want Andy taking the fall for Fro's attendance.

It was Tonkfest, in fact.  But there may have been some hockey-related event going on concurrently, I believe.

It was Tonkfest, indeed. I had to go just so I am officially not being racist when I make jokes about the Welsh, becuase I am personally friends with one in real life.

My wife also thought flannj was quite the handsome older gentleman, and I still laugh at that some times.

Flannj is quite the handsome older gentlemen, especially when you bear in mind what poor ESKO has to wake up to every morning.  Put it this way: I'd totes shag Flannj; I'd have to be really, really drunk to sleep with you.

Both ESKO and Tonks need a trip to the optometrist.

[Quality Start Machine]

I don't know where to put this, but I had a great experience at mEAT on Chestnut. You order meats by the skewer and share sides a-la-carte. The mac and cheese and brussels sprouts were unreal and the meatballs and pork skewers were definitely solid. My American Mule cocktail and the lady's margarita were also merrily consumed.

Please don't tell me this is another Corner Bakery moment for me.

Nope, that's some fine-assed eating. Next time,  treat yourself to Publican go back and bump this thread for suggestions.

Order!, Order!'d

On another note, I think IAN is ashamed of us.  This is, at least, his second trip to Chicago (if Facebook is to be believed) with IANGF and not one shred of evidence of getting together.

Oh he most definitely is ashamed of you all and he's not wrong

I'm certainly ashamed of the lot of you.  Fortunately, though, STonk is mostly thoroughly ashamed of me, so it all comes out in the wash.

My wife is remarkably tolerant of the whole desipio thing but the one time I brought her to an actual desipio event she had to meet and hear Fro Dog's opinions and Yeti spilled beer all over her feet. I don't blame IAN one bit here.

Point of fact, wasn't that a Hockeenight event?  I don't want Andy taking the fall for Fro's attendance.

It was Tonkfest, in fact.  But there may have been some hockey-related event going on concurrently, I believe.

It was Tonkfest, indeed. I had to go just so I am officially not being racist when I make jokes about the Welsh, becuase I am personally friends with one in real life.

My wife also thought flannj was quite the handsome older gentleman, and I still laugh at that some times.

Flannj is quite the handsome older gentlemen, especially when you bear in mind what poor ESKO has to wake up to every morning.  Put it this way: I'd totes shag Flannj; I'd have to be really, really drunk to sleep with you.

Both ESKO and Tonks need a trip to the optometrist.

No, just higher standards.

[Powdered Toast Man]

I don't know where to put this, but I had a great experience at mEAT on Chestnut. You order meats by the skewer and share sides a-la-carte. The mac and cheese and brussels sprouts were unreal and the meatballs and pork skewers were definitely solid. My American Mule cocktail and the lady's margarita were also merrily consumed.

Please don't tell me this is another Corner Bakery moment for me.

Nope, that's some fine-assed eating. Next time,  treat yourself to Publican go back and bump this thread for suggestions.

Order!, Order!'d

On another note, I think IAN is ashamed of us.  This is, at least, his second trip to Chicago (if Facebook is to be believed) with IANGF and not one shred of evidence of getting together.

Fucker dodged me at a Cub game.

I really wish I had the opportunity to meet you and LFork that day. I was unfortunately one pawn in a long line of IANGF family members trapsing through God-knows-where in Wrigleyville to some bar IANGF's brother's wife's family owns.

Point being, this was the first time I met these fine folks and I was going to say "Hold up, my internet friend who likes to dance in public wants to meet up!" It just didn't work out and I'm more ashamed that we didn't get to say hi.

Oh, and I'm certainly ashamed of all of you. That's a fact.

[ChuckD]

I don't know where to put this, but I had a great experience at mEAT on Chestnut. You order meats by the skewer and share sides a-la-carte. The mac and cheese and brussels sprouts were unreal and the meatballs and pork skewers were definitely solid. My American Mule cocktail and the lady's margarita were also merrily consumed.

Please don't tell me this is another Corner Bakery moment for me.

Nope, that's some fine-assed eating. Next time,  treat yourself to Publican go back and bump this thread for suggestions.

Order!, Order!'d

On another note, I think IAN is ashamed of us.  This is, at least, his second trip to Chicago (if Facebook is to be believed) with IANGF and not one shred of evidence of getting together.

Fucker dodged me at a Cub game.

I really wish I had the opportunity to meet you and LFork that day. I was unfortunately one pawn in a long line of IANGF family members trapsing through God-knows-where in Wrigleyville to some bar IANGF's brother's wife's family owns.

Point being, this was the first time I met these fine folks and I was going to say "Hold up, my internet friend who likes to dance in public wants to meet up!" It just didn't work out and I'm more ashamed that we didn't get to say hi.

Oh, and I'm certainly ashamed of all of you. That's a fact.

So ... sister-in-law? (If you're in to brevity.) Or "sister" if you're in Louisiana *rimshot*.

[Powdered Toast Man]

I don't know where to put this, but I had a great experience at mEAT on Chestnut. You order meats by the skewer and share sides a-la-carte. The mac and cheese and brussels sprouts were unreal and the meatballs and pork skewers were definitely solid. My American Mule cocktail and the lady's margarita were also merrily consumed.

Please don't tell me this is another Corner Bakery moment for me.

Nope, that's some fine-assed eating. Next time,  treat yourself to Publican go back and bump this thread for suggestions.

Order!, Order!'d

On another note, I think IAN is ashamed of us.  This is, at least, his second trip to Chicago (if Facebook is to be believed) with IANGF and not one shred of evidence of getting together.

Fucker dodged me at a Cub game.

I really wish I had the opportunity to meet you and LFork that day. I was unfortunately one pawn in a long line of IANGF family members trapsing through God-knows-where in Wrigleyville to some bar IANGF's brother's wife's family owns.

Point being, this was the first time I met these fine folks and I was going to say "Hold up, my internet friend who likes to dance in public wants to meet up!" It just didn't work out and I'm more ashamed that we didn't get to say hi.

Oh, and I'm certainly ashamed of all of you. That's a fact.

So ... sister-in-law? (If you're in to brevity.) Or "sister" if you're in Louisiana *rimshot*.

IF there was a ring on IANGF...but alas there isn't. Yet.

[SKO]

I don't know where to put this, but I had a great experience at mEAT on Chestnut. You order meats by the skewer and share sides a-la-carte. The mac and cheese and brussels sprouts were unreal and the meatballs and pork skewers were definitely solid. My American Mule cocktail and the lady's margarita were also merrily consumed.

Please don't tell me this is another Corner Bakery moment for me.

Nope, that's some fine-assed eating. Next time,  treat yourself to Publican go back and bump this thread for suggestions.

Order!, Order!'d

On another note, I think IAN is ashamed of us.  This is, at least, his second trip to Chicago (if Facebook is to be believed) with IANGF and not one shred of evidence of getting together.

Fucker dodged me at a Cub game.

I really wish I had the opportunity to meet you and LFork that day. I was unfortunately one pawn in a long line of IANGF family members trapsing through God-knows-where in Wrigleyville to some bar IANGF's brother's wife's family owns.

Point being, this was the first time I met these fine folks and I was going to say "Hold up, my internet friend who likes to dance in public wants to meet up!" It just didn't work out and I'm more ashamed that we didn't get to say hi.

Oh, and I'm certainly ashamed of all of you. That's a fact.

So ... sister-in-law? (If you're in to brevity.) Or "sister" if you're in Louisiana *rimshot*.

IF there was a ring on IANGF...but alas there isn't. Yet.

Right but that would still make "IANGF's brother's wife" IANGF's sister-in-law.

[Powdered Toast Man]

Right.

<---Idito

[CT III]

I don't know where to put this, but I had a great experience at mEAT on Chestnut. You order meats by the skewer and share sides a-la-carte. The mac and cheese and brussels sprouts were unreal and the meatballs and pork skewers were definitely solid. My American Mule cocktail and the lady's margarita were also merrily consumed.

Please don't tell me this is another Corner Bakery moment for me.

Nope, that's some fine-assed eating. Next time,  treat yourself to Publican go back and bump this thread for suggestions.

Order!, Order!'d

On another note, I think IAN is ashamed of us.  This is, at least, his second trip to Chicago (if Facebook is to be believed) with IANGF and not one shred of evidence of getting together.

Fucker dodged me at a Cub game.

I really wish I had the opportunity to meet you and LFork that day. I was unfortunately one pawn in a long line of IANGF family members trapsing through God-knows-where in Wrigleyville to some bar IANGF's brother's wife's family owns.

Point being, this was the first time I met these fine folks and I was going to say "Hold up, my internet friend who likes to dance in public wants to meet up!" It just didn't work out and I'm more ashamed that we didn't get to say hi.

Oh, and I'm certainly ashamed of all of you. That's a fact.

So ... sister-in-law? (If you're in to brevity.) Or "sister" if you're in Louisiana *rimshot*.

IF there was a ring on IANGF...but alas there isn't. Yet.

Right but that would still make "IANGF's brother's wife" IANGF's sister-in-law.

Still, I side with IAN here, the joke was overly complicated and required a reread of the paragraph. 

3/10, would not read again.

[Saul Goodman]

Right.

<---Idito

Leave Kris out of this.

[Tonker]

A couple more entries:

Ricobene's.  HOLY SHIT WHAT A FUCKEN SAMMICH.  That thing was fucking HUGE and I only had the regular.  It was really, really, REALLY good, too.  Like, "I'm totally going to make the trip down to DA SOUT SIDE MY FRENT to get another one next time I'm in town" good.  The fries were also excellent, but they were gilding the lily, really.  Yuge thanks to Fork and Larry for going out of their way to make sure I filled in a gap of which - in hindsight - I should have been thoroughly ashamed.

Gene and Jude's.  Once again, Fork's Culinary Tours came up trumps and this little beauty filled the gap between second lunch and high tea very nicely indeed.  It's a bit weird in that they bill themselves as a hot dog place but there's no poppy seed buns, no green relish, no tomato and if I remember rightly, not even a pickle spear.  Still, what they do is very good and almost embarrassingly cheap.  And not a bottle of ketchup in sight, so it gets the Huey seal of approval, too.

I had a couple of pizzas, too, but there was so much confusion with regard to where they had come from (I think we nearly ate somebody else's pizza at one point on Saturday night), that I can't really review them.

Also, Fork's BBBQ is the balls, and Hawk and NHawk are just ridiculously, fantastically gracious, generous and above all, delicious hosts.

And as for that cake, Chuck?  I'm not exaggerating, that thing had to have been twenty thousand calories.  I could hardly eat it all.