Cubs' Prospects FUTUREBONER thread

[Quality Start Machine]

If I didn't WANT to run naked through Lincoln Park, I wouldn't have made such a stupid bet. Olt's solid. This should go well up until the point that I welch on the bet by blaring Linkin Park through my bedroom and running around with all kinds of crazy messages inscribed on my derriere. I once threatened to run through Grant Park naked with "FUCK DALY" painted on my ass if the Bears lost to Brian Griese's Tampa Bay Bucs. Then that happened and I turtled.

Anyway. What were we talking about?

Too bad.  I would have loved seeing some meatball mis-spelling the mayor's name on his derriere as he pranced around the museum campus.

Says the expert on misspelling.

But not a meatball.

[World's #1 Astros Fan]

If I didn't WANT to run naked through Lincoln Park, I wouldn't have made such a stupid bet. Olt's solid. This should go well up until the point that I welch on the bet by blaring Linkin Park through my bedroom and running around with all kinds of crazy messages inscribed on my derriere. I once threatened to run through Grant Park naked with "FUCK DALY" painted on my ass if the Bears lost to Brian Griese's Tampa Bay Bucs. Then that happened and I turtled.

Anyway. What were we talking about?

Too bad.  I would have loved seeing some meatball mis-spelling the mayor's name on his derriere as he pranced around the museum campus.

Says the expert on misspelling mashing his sausage-like digits on the computer keyboard like a common PANK.

But not a meatball.

Typo'd.

[InternetApex]

If I didn't WANT to run naked through Lincoln Park, I wouldn't have made such a stupid bet. Olt's solid. This should go well up until the point that I welch on the bet by blaring Linkin Park through my bedroom and running around with all kinds of crazy messages inscribed on my derriere. I once threatened to run through Grant Park naked with "FUCK DALY" painted on my ass if the Bears lost to Brian Griese's Tampa Bay Bucs. Then that happened and I turtled.

Anyway. What were we talking about?

Too bad.  I would have loved seeing some meatball mis-spelling the mayor's name on his derriere as he pranced around the museum campus.

Says the expert on misspelling mashing his sausage-like digits on the computer keyboard like a common PANK.

But not a meatball.

Typo'd.

My narrow ass is only good for four letters a cheek. Some assumptions have to be made that I was angry at our ex-mayor and not the plump, wild pants-wearing golfer.

[CBStew]

If I didn't WANT to run naked through Lincoln Park, I wouldn't have made such a stupid bet. Olt's solid. This should go well up until the point that I welch on the bet by blaring Linkin Park through my bedroom and running around with all kinds of crazy messages inscribed on my derriere. I once threatened to run through Grant Park naked with "FUCK DALY" painted on my ass if the Bears lost to Brian Griese's Tampa Bay Bucs. Then that happened and I turtled.

Anyway. What were we talking about?

Too bad.  I would have loved seeing some meatball mis-spelling the mayor's name on his derriere as he pranced around the museum campus.

Says the expert on misspelling mashing his sausage-like digits on the computer keyboard like a common PANK.

But not a meatball.

Typo'd.

My narrow ass is only good for four letters a cheek. Some assumptions have to be made that I was angry at our ex-mayor and not the plump, wild pants-wearing golfer.

This thread is causing images in my head that I will never be able to erase.

[Quality Start Machine]

Just to make our FUTUREBONERS throb a little harder, imagine Maddon rolling this out at some point this Spring...

1-Fowler CF
2-Castro SS
3-Bryant 3B
4-Rizzo 1B
5-Soler RF
6-SKOWarber DH
7-Baez 2B
8-Denorfia LF
9-Montero C

Getting to the 8th spot in the lineup would be pretty much a matter of survival for pitchers.

[World's #1 Astros Fan]

Just to make our FUTUREBONERS throb a little harder, imagine Maddon rolling this out at some point this Spring...

1-Fowler CF
2-Castro SS
3-Bryant 3B
4-Rizzo 1B
5-Soler RF
6-SKOWarber DH
7-Baez 2B
8-Denorfia LF
9-Montero C

Getting to the 8th spot in the lineup would be pretty much a matter of survival for pitchers.

Provided Soler and Bryant continue to hit as well as they did last year, Baez hits much better than he did last year, and Schwarber fulfills his optimal projection, which seems far from being confirmed at this point, yeah I'm right there with you.

[PenFoe]

Just to make our FUTUREBONERS throb a little harder, imagine Maddon rolling this out at some point this Spring...

1-Fowler CF
2-Castro SS
3-Bryant 3B
4-Rizzo 1B
5-Soler RF
6-SKOWarber DH
7-Baez 2B
8-Denorfia LF
9-Montero C

Getting to the 8th spot in the lineup would be pretty much a matter of survival for pitchers.

Provided Soler and Bryant continue to hit as well as they did last year, Baez hits much better than he did last year, and Schwarber fulfills his optimal projection, which seems far from being confirmed at this point, yeah I'm right there with you.

Assuming everyone doesn't die, Eli Eli Eli Eli.

[Slaky]

Just to make our FUTUREBONERS throb a little harder, imagine Maddon rolling this out at some point this Spring...

1-Fowler CF
2-Castro SS
3-Bryant 3B
4-Rizzo 1B
5-Soler RF
6-SKOWarber DH
7-Baez 2B
8-Denorfia LF
9-Montero C

Getting to the 8th spot in the lineup would be pretty much a matter of survival for pitchers.

Provided Soler and Bryant continue to hit as well as they did last year, Baez hits much better than he did last year, and Schwarber fulfills his optimal projection, which seems far from being confirmed at this point, yeah I'm right there with you.

Assuming everyone doesn't die, Eli Eli Eli Eli.

I would say I'm most excited about Chris Denorfia

[Eli]

Just to make our FUTUREBONERS throb a little harder, imagine Maddon rolling this out at some point this Spring...

1-Fowler CF
2-Castro SS
3-Bryant 3B
4-Rizzo 1B
5-Soler RF
6-SKOWarber DH
7-Baez 2B
8-Denorfia LF
9-Montero C

Getting to the 8th spot in the lineup would be pretty much a matter of survival for pitchers.

Provided Soler and Bryant continue to hit as well as they did last year, Baez hits much better than he did last year, and Schwarber fulfills his optimal projection, which seems far from being confirmed at this point, yeah I'm right there with you.

Assuming everyone doesn't die, Eli Eli Eli Eli.

Yeah, being cautious and reasonable in one's expectations is way more dumb than assuming every prospect in the system will hit their best-case projection.

[Quality Start Machine]

Just to make our FUTUREBONERS throb a little harder, imagine Maddon rolling this out at some point this Spring...

1-Fowler CF
2-Castro SS
3-Bryant 3B
4-Rizzo 1B
5-Soler RF
6-SKOWarber DH
7-Baez 2B
8-Denorfia LF
9-Montero C

Getting to the 8th spot in the lineup would be pretty much a matter of survival for pitchers.

Provided Soler and Bryant continue to hit as well as they did last year, Baez hits much better than he did last year, and Schwarber fulfills his optimal projection, which seems far from being confirmed at this point, yeah I'm right there with you.

Assuming everyone doesn't die, Eli Eli Eli Eli.

Yeah, being cautious and reasonable in one's expectations is way more dumb than assuming every prospect in the system will hit their best-case projection.

Reality is for the regular season. Fuck that shit now, we've got 9 Babe Ruths.

[SKO]

So at the risk of sounding like a common Chuck who basically gave Javy a week before deciding he wanted him dead, what are the odds Javy gets traded before he appears in a Cub uniform again? Really wouldn't be surprising if Epstein and Co. decided Javy could only lower his trade value by playing in the majors and repeating last year's performance, and that they've decided Addison Russell is the future.

Makes me kinda sad if so, though, because if Javy does pan out at all I think he'd be all kinds of fun.

[Eli]

So at the risk of sounding like a common Chuck who basically gave Javy a week before deciding he wanted him dead, what are the odds Javy gets traded before he appears in a Cub uniform again?

Like 10 percent? They're not going to get anything of substantial value for him right now, so I can't imagine they'll just unload him for the sake of doing so.

[SKO]

So at the risk of sounding like a common Chuck who basically gave Javy a week before deciding he wanted him dead, what are the odds Javy gets traded before he appears in a Cub uniform again?

Like 10 percent? They're not going to get anything of substantial value for him right now, so I can't imagine they'll just unload him for the sake of doing so.

No I don't think they'll just dump him or anything, but I wonder if it's safe to say (or maybe it always was) Addison might be the guy to get the first crack at the big league 2B job this year between the two.

[Quality Start Machine]

So at the risk of sounding like a common Chuck who basically gave Javy a week before deciding he wanted him dead, what are the odds Javy gets traded before he appears in a Cub uniform again?

Like 10 percent? They're not going to get anything of substantial value for him right now, so I can't imagine they'll just unload him for the sake of doing so.

I also think the Cubs have nothing to lose by seeing if Baez can figure it out in Iowa. He's currently low risk with a still-existing potential for high reward.

[World's #1 Astros Fan]

So at the risk of sounding like a common Chuck who basically gave Javy a week before deciding he wanted him dead, what are the odds Javy gets traded before he appears in a Cub uniform again?

Like 10 percent? They're not going to get anything of substantial value for him right now, so I can't imagine they'll just unload him for the sake of doing so.

My mantra has been since last summer that nobody has to get dealt yet.

That time's coming, but it still isn't here yet.  Baez is better off restoring his value off of AAA tomato cans for the time being.