Cubs' Prospects FUTUREBONER thread

[ChuckD]

Not that I'm not excited about Eloy Jimenez but on a scale from whatever the heck that "test cricket" is that I saw Tonk refer to on facebook to a CFL preseason game, where do extended spring training stats rank? I'm gonna say "low."

I heard he just crushed some balls off a tee in the cage yesterday.

I say we pencil him in for CF next year pending a BMI evaluation.

25.0

But he's a rightfielder.

In case you've never seen this, dude is huge. 

I had seen that around and thought it was supposed to be Soler making Manny fucking Ramirez look small. Didn't realize it was Eloy. My God. There's two of them.

[PenFoe]

Not that I'm not excited about Eloy Jimenez but on a scale from whatever the heck that "test cricket" is that I saw Tonk refer to on facebook to a CFL preseason game, where do extended spring training stats rank? I'm gonna say "low."

I heard he just crushed some balls off a tee in the cage yesterday.

I say we pencil him in for CF next year pending a BMI evaluation.

25.0

But he's a rightfielder.

In case you've never seen this, dude is huge. 

I had seen that around and thought it was supposed to be Soler making Manny fucking Ramirez look small. Didn't realize it was Eloy. My God. There's two of them.

That's Eloy at 17, btw.
Safe to assume he's not 100% done growing.

[Tonker]

Eloy's coming.

The Eloy Jimenez HR gives him the team lead with two, and he is now hitting 317/348/583 in 19 Cactus League EXST games (66 PA). In addition to the two home runs, Eloy also has four doubles and is tied for the team lead in triples with three (tied with Kevin Encarnacion), and he leads the team in RBI (15 ) and in runs scored (11). He has three walks and ten strikeouts in the 66 PA, and he has also stolen three bases (no CS).    

But seriously, Eloy is fucking coming, y'all.

[quote = Yesterday's box score]
Eloy Jimenez, RF: 3-3 (1B, HR, 2B, 2 R, 6 RBI)

SKO'd.

Not that I'm not excited about Eloy Jimenez but on a scale from whatever the heck that "test cricket" is that I saw Tonk refer to on facebook to a CFL preseason game, where do extended spring training stats rank? I'm gonna say "low."

Ironically, "test" cricket is the highest level of cricket.

[Tonker]

Eloy's coming.

The Eloy Jimenez HR gives him the team lead with two, and he is now hitting 317/348/583 in 19 Cactus League EXST games (66 PA). In addition to the two home runs, Eloy also has four doubles and is tied for the team lead in triples with three (tied with Kevin Encarnacion), and he leads the team in RBI (15 ) and in runs scored (11). He has three walks and ten strikeouts in the 66 PA, and he has also stolen three bases (no CS).    

But seriously, Eloy is fucking coming, y'all.

[quote = Yesterday's box score]
Eloy Jimenez, RF: 3-3 (1B, HR, 2B, 2 R, 6 RBI)

SKO'd.

Not that I'm not excited about Eloy Jimenez but on a scale from whatever the heck that "test cricket" is that I saw Tonk refer to on facebook to a CFL preseason game, where do extended spring training stats rank? I'm gonna say "low."

Ironically, "test" cricket is the highest level of cricket.

Intrepid reader: SKO

Huh, that sucks.  Yay for 'Murica, fuck everything that's not 'Murica, etc. etc. etc.

[SKO]

Eloy's coming.

The Eloy Jimenez HR gives him the team lead with two, and he is now hitting 317/348/583 in 19 Cactus League EXST games (66 PA). In addition to the two home runs, Eloy also has four doubles and is tied for the team lead in triples with three (tied with Kevin Encarnacion), and he leads the team in RBI (15 ) and in runs scored (11). He has three walks and ten strikeouts in the 66 PA, and he has also stolen three bases (no CS).    

But seriously, Eloy is fucking coming, y'all.

[quote = Yesterday's box score]
Eloy Jimenez, RF: 3-3 (1B, HR, 2B, 2 R, 6 RBI)

SKO'd.

Not that I'm not excited about Eloy Jimenez but on a scale from whatever the heck that "test cricket" is that I saw Tonk refer to on facebook to a CFL preseason game, where do extended spring training stats rank? I'm gonna say "low."

Ironically, "test" cricket is the highest level of cricket.

Intrepid reader: SKO

Huh, that sucks.  Yay for 'Murica, fuck everything that's not 'Murica, etc. etc. etc.

I just googled test cricket and it sounds grueling. How the hell do people play that many hours a day for five days in a row without dying in fucking India?

[Tonker]

Eloy's coming.

The Eloy Jimenez HR gives him the team lead with two, and he is now hitting 317/348/583 in 19 Cactus League EXST games (66 PA). In addition to the two home runs, Eloy also has four doubles and is tied for the team lead in triples with three (tied with Kevin Encarnacion), and he leads the team in RBI (15 ) and in runs scored (11). He has three walks and ten strikeouts in the 66 PA, and he has also stolen three bases (no CS).    

But seriously, Eloy is fucking coming, y'all.

[quote = Yesterday's box score]
Eloy Jimenez, RF: 3-3 (1B, HR, 2B, 2 R, 6 RBI)

SKO'd.

Not that I'm not excited about Eloy Jimenez but on a scale from whatever the heck that "test cricket" is that I saw Tonk refer to on facebook to a CFL preseason game, where do extended spring training stats rank? I'm gonna say "low."

Ironically, "test" cricket is the highest level of cricket.

Intrepid reader: SKO

Huh, that sucks.  Yay for 'Murica, fuck everything that's not 'Murica, etc. etc. etc.

I just googled test cricket and it sounds grueling. How the hell do people play that many hours a day for five days in a row without dying in fucking India?

Because they break for lunch, and afternoon tea, every day.  And they have drinks brought out onto the field every hour or so.  I'm not kidding.

[SKO]

Eloy's coming.

The Eloy Jimenez HR gives him the team lead with two, and he is now hitting 317/348/583 in 19 Cactus League EXST games (66 PA). In addition to the two home runs, Eloy also has four doubles and is tied for the team lead in triples with three (tied with Kevin Encarnacion), and he leads the team in RBI (15 ) and in runs scored (11). He has three walks and ten strikeouts in the 66 PA, and he has also stolen three bases (no CS).    

But seriously, Eloy is fucking coming, y'all.

[quote = Yesterday's box score]
Eloy Jimenez, RF: 3-3 (1B, HR, 2B, 2 R, 6 RBI)

SKO'd.

Not that I'm not excited about Eloy Jimenez but on a scale from whatever the heck that "test cricket" is that I saw Tonk refer to on facebook to a CFL preseason game, where do extended spring training stats rank? I'm gonna say "low."

Ironically, "test" cricket is the highest level of cricket.

Intrepid reader: SKO

Huh, that sucks.  Yay for 'Murica, fuck everything that's not 'Murica, etc. etc. etc.

I just googled test cricket and it sounds grueling. How the hell do people play that many hours a day for five days in a row without dying in fucking India?

Because they break for lunch, and afternoon tea, every day.  And they have drinks brought out onto the field every hour or so.  I'm not kidding.

That's amazing.

[ChuckD]

Eloy's coming.

The Eloy Jimenez HR gives him the team lead with two, and he is now hitting 317/348/583 in 19 Cactus League EXST games (66 PA). In addition to the two home runs, Eloy also has four doubles and is tied for the team lead in triples with three (tied with Kevin Encarnacion), and he leads the team in RBI (15 ) and in runs scored (11). He has three walks and ten strikeouts in the 66 PA, and he has also stolen three bases (no CS).    

But seriously, Eloy is fucking coming, y'all.

[quote = Yesterday's box score]
Eloy Jimenez, RF: 3-3 (1B, HR, 2B, 2 R, 6 RBI)

SKO'd.

Not that I'm not excited about Eloy Jimenez but on a scale from whatever the heck that "test cricket" is that I saw Tonk refer to on facebook to a CFL preseason game, where do extended spring training stats rank? I'm gonna say "low."

Ironically, "test" cricket is the highest level of cricket.

Intrepid reader: SKO

Huh, that sucks.  Yay for 'Murica, fuck everything that's not 'Murica, etc. etc. etc.

I just googled test cricket and it sounds grueling. How the hell do people play that many hours a day for five days in a row without dying in fucking India?

Because they break for lunch, and afternoon tea, every day.  And they have drinks brought out onto the field every hour or so.  I'm not kidding.

Like Hi-C? Maybe some orange slices?

[Tonker]

Eloy's coming.

The Eloy Jimenez HR gives him the team lead with two, and he is now hitting 317/348/583 in 19 Cactus League EXST games (66 PA). In addition to the two home runs, Eloy also has four doubles and is tied for the team lead in triples with three (tied with Kevin Encarnacion), and he leads the team in RBI (15 ) and in runs scored (11). He has three walks and ten strikeouts in the 66 PA, and he has also stolen three bases (no CS).    

But seriously, Eloy is fucking coming, y'all.

[quote = Yesterday's box score]
Eloy Jimenez, RF: 3-3 (1B, HR, 2B, 2 R, 6 RBI)

SKO'd.

Not that I'm not excited about Eloy Jimenez but on a scale from whatever the heck that "test cricket" is that I saw Tonk refer to on facebook to a CFL preseason game, where do extended spring training stats rank? I'm gonna say "low."

Ironically, "test" cricket is the highest level of cricket.

Intrepid reader: SKO

Huh, that sucks.  Yay for 'Murica, fuck everything that's not 'Murica, etc. etc. etc.

I just googled test cricket and it sounds grueling. How the hell do people play that many hours a day for five days in a row without dying in fucking India?

Because they break for lunch, and afternoon tea, every day.  And they have drinks brought out onto the field every hour or so.  I'm not kidding.

Like Hi-C? Maybe some orange slices?

These days, I presume it's energy drinks.  I did see one of the players drinking Red Bull on the field the other day.  It used to be perfectly acceptable to smoke during play.

The schedule goes something like this:

11:00 Start
11:30 Drinks
12:00 Drinks
12:30 Drinks
13:00 Lunch
13:40 Restart
14:10 Drinks
14:40 Drinks
15:10 Drinks
15:40 Tea
16:20 Restart
16:40 Drinks
17:10 Drinks
17:40 Drinks
18:10 Finish for the day
18:11 Urinating.  Lots and lots of urinating.
18:15 Beer

Day 2: Rinse, repeat.
Day 3: Rinse, repeat.
Day 4: Rinse, repeat.
Day 5: Match finishes in a draw.

[PenFoe]

Eloy's coming.

The Eloy Jimenez HR gives him the team lead with two, and he is now hitting 317/348/583 in 19 Cactus League EXST games (66 PA). In addition to the two home runs, Eloy also has four doubles and is tied for the team lead in triples with three (tied with Kevin Encarnacion), and he leads the team in RBI (15 ) and in runs scored (11). He has three walks and ten strikeouts in the 66 PA, and he has also stolen three bases (no CS).    

But seriously, Eloy is fucking coming, y'all.

[quote = Yesterday's box score]
Eloy Jimenez, RF: 3-3 (1B, HR, 2B, 2 R, 6 RBI)

SKO'd.

Not that I'm not excited about Eloy Jimenez but on a scale from whatever the heck that "test cricket" is that I saw Tonk refer to on facebook to a CFL preseason game, where do extended spring training stats rank? I'm gonna say "low."

Ironically, "test" cricket is the highest level of cricket.

Intrepid reader: SKO

Huh, that sucks.  Yay for 'Murica, fuck everything that's not 'Murica, etc. etc. etc.

I just googled test cricket and it sounds grueling. How the hell do people play that many hours a day for five days in a row without dying in fucking India?

Because they break for lunch, and afternoon tea, every day.  And they have drinks brought out onto the field every hour or so.  I'm not kidding.

Like Hi-C? Maybe some orange slices?

These days, I presume it's energy drinks.  I did see one of the players drinking Red Bull on the field the other day.  It used to be perfectly acceptable to smoke during play.

The schedule goes something like this:

11:00 Start
11:30 Drinks
12:00 Drinks
12:30 Drinks
13:00 Lunch
13:40 Restart
14:10 Drinks
14:40 Drinks
15:10 Drinks
15:40 Tea
16:20 Restart
16:40 Drinks
17:10 Drinks
17:40 Drinks
18:10 Finish for the day
18:11 Urinating.  Lots and lots of urinating.
18:15 Beer

Day 2: Rinse, repeat.
Day 3: Rinse, repeat.
Day 4: Rinse, repeat.
Day 5: Match finishes in a draw.

Eloy would fucking own that.  

[SKO]

Eloy's coming.

The Eloy Jimenez HR gives him the team lead with two, and he is now hitting 317/348/583 in 19 Cactus League EXST games (66 PA). In addition to the two home runs, Eloy also has four doubles and is tied for the team lead in triples with three (tied with Kevin Encarnacion), and he leads the team in RBI (15 ) and in runs scored (11). He has three walks and ten strikeouts in the 66 PA, and he has also stolen three bases (no CS).    

But seriously, Eloy is fucking coming, y'all.

[quote = Yesterday's box score]
Eloy Jimenez, RF: 3-3 (1B, HR, 2B, 2 R, 6 RBI)

SKO'd.

Not that I'm not excited about Eloy Jimenez but on a scale from whatever the heck that "test cricket" is that I saw Tonk refer to on facebook to a CFL preseason game, where do extended spring training stats rank? I'm gonna say "low."

Ironically, "test" cricket is the highest level of cricket.

Intrepid reader: SKO

Huh, that sucks.  Yay for 'Murica, fuck everything that's not 'Murica, etc. etc. etc.

I just googled test cricket and it sounds grueling. How the hell do people play that many hours a day for five days in a row without dying in fucking India?

Because they break for lunch, and afternoon tea, every day.  And they have drinks brought out onto the field every hour or so.  I'm not kidding.

Like Hi-C? Maybe some orange slices?

These days, I presume it's energy drinks.  I did see one of the players drinking Red Bull on the field the other day.  It used to be perfectly acceptable to smoke during play.

The schedule goes something like this:

11:00 Start
11:30 Drinks
12:00 Drinks
12:30 Drinks
13:00 Lunch
13:40 Restart
14:10 Drinks
14:40 Drinks
15:10 Drinks
15:40 Tea
16:20 Restart
16:40 Drinks
17:10 Drinks
17:40 Drinks
18:10 Finish for the day
18:11 Urinating.  Lots and lots of urinating.
18:15 Beer

Day 2: Rinse, repeat.
Day 3: Rinse, repeat.
Day 4: Rinse, repeat.
Day 5: Match finishes in a draw.

Eloy would fuck own that.  

Well since half the sport appears to be eating, drinking, and apparently in the old days smoking cigarettes, I feel like David Wells chose the wrong sport.

[SKO]

I am legitimately baffled about the differences between Americans and the rest of the world sometimes. Half of this country thinks hockey, which to me is the most stressful sport of all to watch, "boring" because it's comparatively low-scoring and yet the rest of the world can watch test cricket. I have no idea why we're so different, it's just interesting.

[PenFoe]

I am legitimately baffled about the differences between Americans and the rest of the world sometimes. Half of this country thinks hockey, which to me is the most stressful sport of all to watch, "boring" because it's comparatively low-scoring and yet the rest of the world can watch test cricket. I have no idea why we're so different, it's just interesting.

MODS!

[SKO]

I am legitimately baffled about the differences between Americans and the rest of the world sometimes. Half of this country thinks hockey, which to me is the most stressful sport of all to watch, "boring" because it's comparatively low-scoring and yet the rest of the world can watch test cricket. I have no idea why we're so different, it's just interesting.

MODS!

Sorry. In honor of this thread's humble beginnings I'll get us back on track by pointing out that Mack Seizure hit a game winning homer for Iowa.

[PenFoe]

I am legitimately baffled about the differences between Americans and the rest of the world sometimes. Half of this country thinks hockey, which to me is the most stressful sport of all to watch, "boring" because it's comparatively low-scoring and yet the rest of the world can watch test cricket. I have no idea why we're so different, it's just interesting.

MODS!

Sorry. In honor of this thread's humble beginnings I'll get us back on track by pointing out that Mack Seizure hit a game winning homer for Iowa.

A 3-run homer when they were down 2-0 and were getting 3-hit through the first 8 innings. 

Gotta sell that shit, man.