Ryan Dempster - Someone Else's Problem

[World's #1 Astros Fan]

Hey look, Ryan Dempster shitting the bed and walking the world in an important game. Who could've guessed.

Are you having a stroke?

He's pitching for Team Canada.
They played Team USA yesterday and he managed to record one out while letting a lot of guys on base and a handful of them to score.

Ah.

Yeah, see I give zero fucks about the WBC.

The WBC has been all sorts of fun.  If you're into the whole baseball thing.

I like that the Dominican team is stocked with studs but that the US team has a bunch of losers.   Seems even.

The pitching is a little light but if you're telling me this lineup has a bunch of losers...uhhh:

C Buster Posey
1B Paul Goldschmidt
2B Ian Kinsler/Daniel Murphy
3B Nolan Arenado
SS Brandon Crawford
LF Christian Yelich
CF Adam Jones
RF Giancarlo Stanton

What the fuck are you smoking? That is the best catcher in the game playing next to potentially the best first baseman (partial to Rizzo myself for obvious reasons), the two best offensive second basemen in the game not named Jose Altuve, a third baseman who is only not the best at his spot in the NL because Kris Bryant exists, a shortstop who has been worth ten wins the last two years, a 5 win left fielder, and Giancarlo fucking Stanton in RF. Center Field is kinda meh with Jones and McCutchen both being in their decline phase but that roster would win like 110 games.

That is pretty good.  I just assumed that no Bryant, no Harper and no Trout meant ALL SCHLUBS.

I apologize for the oversight but still ain't watching this.  GIMME CUB BASEBAW

[Saul Goodman]

Hey look, Ryan Dempster shitting the bed and walking the world in an important game. Who could've guessed.

Are you having a stroke?

He's pitching for Team Canada.
They played Team USA yesterday and he managed to record one out while letting a lot of guys on base and a handful of them to score.

Ah.

Yeah, see I give zero fucks about the WBC.

The WBC has been all sorts of fun.  If you're into the whole baseball thing.

I like that the Dominican team is stocked with studs but that the US team has a bunch of losers.   Seems even.

The pitching is a little light but if you're telling me this lineup has a bunch of losers...uhhh:

C Buster Posey
1B Paul Goldschmidt
2B Ian Kinsler/Daniel Murphy
3B Nolan Arenado
SS Brandon Crawford
LF Christian Yelich
CF Adam Jones
RF Giancarlo Stanton

What the fuck are you smoking? That is the best catcher in the game playing next to potentially the best first baseman (partial to Rizzo myself for obvious reasons), the two best offensive second basemen in the game not named Jose Altuve, a third baseman who is only not the best at his spot in the NL because Kris Bryant exists, a shortstop who has been worth ten wins the last two years, a 5 win left fielder, and Giancarlo fucking Stanton in RF. Center Field is kinda meh with Jones and McCutchen both being in their decline phase but that roster would win like 110 games.

That is pretty good.  I just assumed that no Bryant, no Harper and no Trout meant ALL SCHLUBS.

I apologize for the oversight but still ain't watching this.  GIMME CUB BASEBAW

How about Javier Baez launching a dong for Team Puerto Rico? That do anything for you?

[Oleg]

Hey look, Ryan Dempster shitting the bed and walking the world in an important game. Who could've guessed.

Are you having a stroke?

He's pitching for Team Canada.
They played Team USA yesterday and he managed to record one out while letting a lot of guys on base and a handful of them to score.

Ah.

Yeah, see I give zero fucks about the WBC.

The WBC has been all sorts of fun.  If you're into the whole baseball thing.

I like that the Dominican team is stocked with studs but that the US team has a bunch of losers.   Seems even.

The pitching is a little light but if you're telling me this lineup has a bunch of losers...uhhh:

C Buster Posey
1B Paul Goldschmidt
2B Ian Kinsler/Daniel Murphy
3B Nolan Arenado
SS Brandon Crawford
LF Christian Yelich
CF Adam Jones
RF Giancarlo Stanton

What the fuck are you smoking? That is the best catcher in the game playing next to potentially the best first baseman (partial to Rizzo myself for obvious reasons), the two best offensive second basemen in the game not named Jose Altuve, a third baseman who is only not the best at his spot in the NL because Kris Bryant exists, a shortstop who has been worth ten wins the last two years, a 5 win left fielder, and Giancarlo fucking Stanton in RF. Center Field is kinda meh with Jones and McCutchen both being in their decline phase but that roster would win like 110 games.

That is pretty good.  I just assumed that no Bryant, no Harper and no Trout meant ALL SCHLUBS.

I apologize for the oversight but still ain't watching this.  GIMME CUB BASEBAW

How about Javier Baez launching a dong for Team Puerto Rico? That do anything for you?

That double-play combo is sick, as we suspected they would be during the WS last year.  Saw them turn a double play yesterday that teh camera couldn't keep up with.

[Canadouche]

Hey look, Ryan Dempster shitting the bed and walking the world in an important game. Who could've guessed.

Are you having a stroke?

He's pitching for Team Canada.
They played Team USA yesterday and he managed to record one out while letting a lot of guys on base and a handful of them to score.

Ah.

Yeah, see I give zero fucks about the WBC.

The WBC has been all sorts of fun.  If you're into the whole baseball thing.

I like that the Dominican team is stocked with studs but that the US team has a bunch of losers.   Seems even.

The pitching is a little light but if you're telling me this lineup has a bunch of losers...uhhh:

C Buster Posey
1B Paul Goldschmidt
2B Ian Kinsler/Daniel Murphy
3B Nolan Arenado
SS Brandon Crawford
LF Christian Yelich
CF Adam Jones
RF Giancarlo Stanton

What the fuck are you smoking? That is the best catcher in the game playing next to potentially the best first baseman (partial to Rizzo myself for obvious reasons), the two best offensive second basemen in the game not named Jose Altuve, a third baseman who is only not the best at his spot in the NL because Kris Bryant exists, a shortstop who has been worth ten wins the last two years, a 5 win left fielder, and Giancarlo fucking Stanton in RF. Center Field is kinda meh with Jones and McCutchen both being in their decline phase but that roster would win like 110 games.

That is pretty good.  I just assumed that no Bryant, no Harper and no Trout meant ALL SCHLUBS.

I apologize for the oversight but still ain't watching this.  GIMME CUB BASEBAW

How about Javier Baez launching a dong for Team Puerto Rico? That do anything for you?

I just bought my first Baez Cubs jersey. Now I want a Baez Puerto Rico jersey.

[Saul Goodman]

Former Cubs pitcher Ryan Dempster stepped in with a stand-up routine and singled out Schwarber for his troubles in left field. "I love the comment that you made that you want to win the Gold Glove. That is so good. Shaw, 'Matrix,' I want to play in the NBA. You can help me out — Kyle's gonna win a Gold Glove."

Dempster asked Bryant if he borrowed his jacket from "Game of Thrones." "You're like Ned Stark and Tommy La Stella is Tyrion Lannister, right? Just a little cute guy. (Blanks) off for a few weeks, and you don't know where he went, then he comes back, all of a sudden he's getting big base hits."

That had the cadence of a joke.

[SKO]

Former Cubs pitcher Ryan Dempster stepped in with a stand-up routine and singled out Schwarber for his troubles in left field. "I love the comment that you made that you want to win the Gold Glove. That is so good. Shaw, 'Matrix,' I want to play in the NBA. You can help me out — Kyle's gonna win a Gold Glove."

Dempster asked Bryant if he borrowed his jacket from "Game of Thrones." "You're like Ned Stark and Tommy La Stella is Tyrion Lannister, right? Just a little cute guy. (Blanks) off for a few weeks, and you don't know where he went, then he comes back, all of a sudden he's getting big base hits."

That had the cadence of a joke.

He also made a bad joke on air about a beloved bat-retrieving dog for the minor league Trenton Thunder dying of cancer. He's the absolute worst.

[Saul Goodman]

Former Cubs pitcher Ryan Dempster stepped in with a stand-up routine and singled out Schwarber for his troubles in left field. "I love the comment that you made that you want to win the Gold Glove. That is so good. Shaw, 'Matrix,' I want to play in the NBA. You can help me out — Kyle's gonna win a Gold Glove."

Dempster asked Bryant if he borrowed his jacket from "Game of Thrones." "You're like Ned Stark and Tommy La Stella is Tyrion Lannister, right? Just a little cute guy. (Blanks) off for a few weeks, and you don't know where he went, then he comes back, all of a sudden he's getting big base hits."

That had the cadence of a joke.

He also made a bad joke on air about a beloved bat-retrieving dog for the minor league Trenton Thunder dying of cancer. He's the absolute worst.

Oh and he also cheated on his wife, with the nanny if I remember correctly. Hopefully the moral cleansing currently going on in our culture will result in no more camera time or ink spilled on him. His comedy "career" certainly doesn't warrant it.

[Chuck to Chuck]

Former Cubs pitcher Ryan Dempster stepped in with a stand-up routine and singled out Schwarber for his troubles in left field. "I love the comment that you made that you want to win the Gold Glove. That is so good. Shaw, 'Matrix,' I want to play in the NBA. You can help me out — Kyle's gonna win a Gold Glove."

Dempster asked Bryant if he borrowed his jacket from "Game of Thrones." "You're like Ned Stark and Tommy La Stella is Tyrion Lannister, right? Just a little cute guy. (Blanks) off for a few weeks, and you don't know where he went, then he comes back, all of a sudden he's getting big base hits."

That had the cadence of a joke.

He also made a bad joke on air about a beloved bat-retrieving dog for the minor league Trenton Thunder dying of cancer. He's the absolute worst.

Oh and he also cheated on his wife, with the nanny if I remember correctly. Hopefully the moral cleansing currently going on in our culture will result in no more camera time or ink spilled on him. His comedy "career" certainly doesn't warrant it.

Wasn't it Dempster's wife who had an affair with a White Sox player?

[Brownie]

Former Cubs pitcher Ryan Dempster stepped in with a stand-up routine and singled out Schwarber for his troubles in left field. "I love the comment that you made that you want to win the Gold Glove. That is so good. Shaw, 'Matrix,' I want to play in the NBA. You can help me out — Kyle's gonna win a Gold Glove."

Dempster asked Bryant if he borrowed his jacket from "Game of Thrones." "You're like Ned Stark and Tommy La Stella is Tyrion Lannister, right? Just a little cute guy. (Blanks) off for a few weeks, and you don't know where he went, then he comes back, all of a sudden he's getting big base hits."

That had the cadence of a joke.

He also made a bad joke on air about a beloved bat-retrieving dog for the minor league Trenton Thunder dying of cancer. He's the absolute worst.

Oh and he also cheated on his wife, with the nanny if I remember correctly. Hopefully the moral cleansing currently going on in our culture will result in no more camera time or ink spilled on him. His comedy "career" certainly doesn't warrant it.

Wasn't it Dempster's wife who had an affair with a White Sox player?

Snopes said that was unproven.

[Quality Start Machine]

Former Cubs pitcher Ryan Dempster stepped in with a stand-up routine and singled out Schwarber for his troubles in left field. "I love the comment that you made that you want to win the Gold Glove. That is so good. Shaw, 'Matrix,' I want to play in the NBA. You can help me out — Kyle's gonna win a Gold Glove."

Dempster asked Bryant if he borrowed his jacket from "Game of Thrones." "You're like Ned Stark and Tommy La Stella is Tyrion Lannister, right? Just a little cute guy. (Blanks) off for a few weeks, and you don't know where he went, then he comes back, all of a sudden he's getting big base hits."

That had the cadence of a joke.

How Schwarber didn't rip Dempster's arm off and beat him to death with it will remain one of the world's great tragedies.

[Wheezer]

Former Cubs pitcher Ryan Dempster stepped in with a stand-up routine and singled out Schwarber for his troubles in left field. "I love the comment that you made that you want to win the Gold Glove. That is so good. Shaw, 'Matrix,' I want to play in the NBA. You can help me out — Kyle's gonna win a Gold Glove."

Dempster asked Bryant if he borrowed his jacket from "Game of Thrones." "You're like Ned Stark and Tommy La Stella is Tyrion Lannister, right? Just a little cute guy. (Blanks) off for a few weeks, and you don't know where he went, then he comes back, all of a sudden he's getting big base hits."

That had the cadence of a joke.

How Schwarber didn't rip Dempster's arm off and beat him to death with it will remain one of the world's great tragedies.

That's not a valid exercise in using your Mother Tongue.

[CBStew]

Former Cubs pitcher Ryan Dempster stepped in with a stand-up routine and singled out Schwarber for his troubles in left field. "I love the comment that you made that you want to win the Gold Glove. That is so good. Shaw, 'Matrix,' I want to play in the NBA. You can help me out — Kyle's gonna win a Gold Glove."

Dempster asked Bryant if he borrowed his jacket from "Game of Thrones." "You're like Ned Stark and Tommy La Stella is Tyrion Lannister, right? Just a little cute guy. (Blanks) off for a few weeks, and you don't know where he went, then he comes back, all of a sudden he's getting big base hits."

That had the cadence of a joke.

How Schwarber didn't rip Dempster's arm off and beat him to death with it will remain one of the world's great tragedies.

That's not a valid exercise in using your Mother Tongue.

Maybe it makes sense if you understand Canadian.

[Bort]

This thread title is the most blatant case of false advertising since my successful suit against the makers of The Neverending Story.

[Tonker]

This thread title is the most blatant case of false advertising since my successful suit against the makers of The Neverending Story.

I have similar suits in against the makers of "48 Hours", "Another 48 Hours", "11 Days 11 Nights", "9 1/2 Weeks", 'From Here to Eternity" and "About Last Night".

[flannj]

This thread title is the most blatant case of false advertising since my successful suit against the makers of The Neverending Story.

I have similar suits in against the makers of "48 Hours", "Another 48 Hours", "11 Days 11 Nights", "9 1/2 Weeks", 'From Here to Eternity" and "About Last Night".

You already won the case against "The Endless Summer"?