Morning in America: Butthurt Achieved

[Quality Start Machine]

https://twitter.com/BarackObama/status/382621635280252928

"Not only are premiums lower than they were, they're lower than the most optimistic predictions." —President Obama on Obamacare #CGI2013

https://twitter.com/AriFleischer/statuses/382632760315486209

Question to @gov:  how come @BarackObama 's last tweet was more than 140 characters?  Does he play by different rules???

https://twitter.com/AriFleischer/status/388119998432296960

If John Boehner changed his 1st name from "Speaker" to "Mullah", Pres O wld b eager 2negotiate w him. I'll be on @FoxNews @seanhannity 2nite

Apparently all it will take to end the shutdown is a sub rosa shipment of anti-tank missiles.

It comes in handy having the first name "Speaker" if that's what you want to be when you grow up. Unfortunately for Fleischer, his first name is "Asscastle".

[Chuck to Chuck]

Da Coach's regrets?

Not winning another title? No.
Having Doug Flutie over for Thanksgiving dinner? No.
Trading a whole draft for Ricky Williams? No.
No asswhupping Obama in 2004? Yes!

[Gilgamesh]

Da Coach's regrets?

Not winning another title? No.
Having Doug Flutie over for Thanksgiving dinner? No.
Trading a whole draft for Ricky Williams? No.
No asswhupping Obama in 2004? Yes!

This is just going to start the "Jeri Ryan is the reason for President Obama" causal chain again.

[Chuck to Chuck]

Da Coach's regrets?

Not winning another title? No.
Having Doug Flutie over for Thanksgiving dinner? No.
Trading a whole draft for Ricky Williams? No.
No asswhupping Obama in 2004? Yes!

This is just going to start the "Jeri Ryan is the reason for President Obama" causal chain again.

Perhaps, but the real chain starts with Clarence Thomas.

[J. Walter Weatherman]

Da Coach's regrets?

Not winning another title? No.
Having Doug Flutie over for Thanksgiving dinner? No.
Trading a whole draft for Ricky Williams? No.
No asswhupping Obama in 2004? Yes!

This is just going to start the "Jeri Ryan is the reason for President Obama" causal chain again.

Will the Jeri Ryan Shutdown lead to a second Jeri Ryan Recession?

[Gilgamesh]

Da Coach's regrets?

Not winning another title? No.
Having Doug Flutie over for Thanksgiving dinner? No.
Trading a whole draft for Ricky Williams? No.
No asswhupping Obama in 2004? Yes!

This is just going to start the "Jeri Ryan is the reason for President Obama" causal chain again.

Will the Jeri Ryan Shutdown lead to a second Jeri Ryan Recession?

That picture kind of looks like what Jack Ryan had in mind for his wife before they got divorced.

And how does Clarence Thomas play into the chain, Chuck?

[Quality Start Machine]

And how does Clarence Thomas play into the chain, Chuck?

C'mon...

Long Dong Silver = LDS
Latter Day Saints = LDS
Republicans run a member of the LDS Church, who gets caught "accidentally" disparaging the electorate enough to lose handily.

The truth is out there.

[Brownie]

Da Coach's regrets?

Not winning another title? No.
Having Doug Flutie over for Thanksgiving dinner? No.
Trading a whole draft for Ricky Williams? No.
No asswhupping Obama in 2004? Yes!

This is just going to start the "Jeri Ryan is the reason for President Obama" causal chain again.

Will the Jeri Ryan Shutdown lead to a second Jeri Ryan Recession?

That picture kind of looks like what Jack Ryan had in mind for his wife before they got divorced.

And how does Clarence Thomas play into the chain, Chuck?

Alan Dixon voted for Clarence Thomas' confirmation, producing Carol Mosely-Braun.

Carol Mosely-Braun's term of incompetence produced Peter Fitzgerald.

Peter Fitzgerald produced Patrick Fitzgerald.

Patrick Fitzgerald produced an irate George Ryan and Michael Madigan.

An irate George Ryan pushed for Judy Baar Topinka to consider primarying Peter Fitzgerald's ass.

Peter Fitzgerald decided not to run for re-election.

An irate Michael Madigan sang the blues to Emil Jones who encouraged his political godson to run for U.S. Senate.

A bunch of people decided to run from both parties: Gery Chico, Maria Pappas, Nancy Skinner, Blair Hull, Steve Rauschenberger, Jack Ryan, John Borling, John Cox, Jim Oberweis, etc. etc. I think there were a total of 20 from both parties.

Blair Hull was mopping up the Democratic field three weeks before the primary.

Hull's divorce files revealed he hit his wife several times.

Obama won the Democratic primary, Jack Ryan the Republican primary.

Jeri Ryan stuff comes out in June after a big buildup.

Jack Ryan decides to leave race.

8 weeks elapse and nobody wants to run. There was a pro-Ditka movement, and 1963 Bears ballboy Sen. George Allen Jr. even tried talking him into it in his capacities as RSCC Chair.

After awhile Judy Baar Topinka comes back with ... Alan Fucking Keyes.

Libertarian candidate Jerry Kohn doesn't get enough traction.

[J. Walter Weatherman]

That picture kind of looks like what Jack Ryan had in mind for his wife before they got divorced.

This was precisely my reaction, too.

I also thought it was funny that that's the very first image result Google gave me.

[Gilgamesh]

Da Coach's regrets?

Not winning another title? No.
Having Doug Flutie over for Thanksgiving dinner? No.
Trading a whole draft for Ricky Williams? No.
No asswhupping Obama in 2004? Yes!

This is just going to start the "Jeri Ryan is the reason for President Obama" causal chain again.

Will the Jeri Ryan Shutdown lead to a second Jeri Ryan Recession?

That picture kind of looks like what Jack Ryan had in mind for his wife before they got divorced.

And how does Clarence Thomas play into the chain, Chuck?

Alan Dixon voted for Clarence Thomas' confirmation, producing Carol Mosely-Braun.

Carol Mosely-Braun's term of incompetence produced Peter Fitzgerald.

Peter Fitzgerald produced Patrick Fitzgerald.

Patrick Fitzgerald produced an irate George Ryan and Michael Madigan.

An irate George Ryan pushed for Judy Baar Topinka to consider primarying Peter Fitzgerald's ass.

Peter Fitzgerald decided not to run for re-election.

An irate Michael Madigan sang the blues to Emil Jones who encouraged his political godson to run for U.S. Senate.

A bunch of people decided to run from both parties: Gery Chico, Maria Pappas, Nancy Skinner, Blair Hull, Steve Rauschenberger, Jack Ryan, John Borling, John Cox, Jim Oberweis, etc. etc. I think there were a total of 20 from both parties.

Blair Hull was mopping up the Democratic field three weeks before the primary.

Hull's divorce files revealed he hit his wife several times.

Obama won the Democratic primary, Jack Ryan the Republican primary.

Jeri Ryan stuff comes out in June after a big buildup.

Jack Ryan decides to leave race.

8 weeks elapse and nobody wants to run. There was a pro-Ditka movement, and 1963 Bears ballboy Sen. George Allen Jr. even tried talking him into it in his capacities as RSCC Chair.

After awhile Judy Baar Topinka comes back with ... Alan Fucking Keyes.

Libertarian candidate Jerry Kohn doesn't get enough traction.

Well done, sir.

[Chuck to Chuck]

Da Coach's regrets?

Not winning another title? No.
Having Doug Flutie over for Thanksgiving dinner? No.
Trading a whole draft for Ricky Williams? No.
No asswhupping Obama in 2004? Yes!

This is just going to start the "Jeri Ryan is the reason for President Obama" causal chain again.

Will the Jeri Ryan Shutdown lead to a second Jeri Ryan Recession?

That picture kind of looks like what Jack Ryan had in mind for his wife before they got divorced.

And how does Clarence Thomas play into the chain, Chuck?

Alan Dixon voted for Clarence Thomas' confirmation, producing Carol Mosely-Braun.

Carol Mosely-Braun's term of incompetence produced Peter Fitzgerald.

Peter Fitzgerald produced Patrick Fitzgerald.

Patrick Fitzgerald produced an irate George Ryan and Michael Madigan.

An irate George Ryan pushed for Judy Baar Topinka to consider primarying Peter Fitzgerald's ass.

Peter Fitzgerald decided not to run for re-election.

An irate Michael Madigan sang the blues to Emil Jones who encouraged his political godson to run for U.S. Senate.

A bunch of people decided to run from both parties: Gery Chico, Maria Pappas, Nancy Skinner, Blair Hull, Steve Rauschenberger, Jack Ryan, John Borling, John Cox, Jim Oberweis, etc. etc. I think there were a total of 20 from both parties.

Blair Hull was mopping up the Democratic field three weeks before the primary.

Hull's divorce files revealed he hit his wife several times.

Obama won the Democratic primary, Jack Ryan the Republican primary.

Jeri Ryan stuff comes out in June after a big buildup.

Jack Ryan decides to leave race.

8 weeks elapse and nobody wants to run. There was a pro-Ditka movement, and 1963 Bears ballboy Sen. George Allen Jr. even tried talking him into it in his capacities as RSCC Chair.

After awhile Judy Baar Topinka comes back with ... Alan Fucking Keyes.

Libertarian candidate Jerry Kohn doesn't get enough traction.

I'd have added in one piece for clarity: Alan Dixon voted for Clarence Thomas' confirmation, leading the dems to primary him producing Carol Mosely-Braun's 37% showing. The IL-GOP, liking mini-DINO Dixon was unprepared for Dixon to be out and ran whack job Richard S. Williamson (kind of a lite/white Alan Keyes).

[Brownie]

Da Coach's regrets?

Not winning another title? No.
Having Doug Flutie over for Thanksgiving dinner? No.
Trading a whole draft for Ricky Williams? No.
No asswhupping Obama in 2004? Yes!

This is just going to start the "Jeri Ryan is the reason for President Obama" causal chain again.

Will the Jeri Ryan Shutdown lead to a second Jeri Ryan Recession?

That picture kind of looks like what Jack Ryan had in mind for his wife before they got divorced.

And how does Clarence Thomas play into the chain, Chuck?

Alan Dixon voted for Clarence Thomas' confirmation, producing Carol Mosely-Braun.

Carol Mosely-Braun's term of incompetence produced Peter Fitzgerald.

Peter Fitzgerald produced Patrick Fitzgerald.

Patrick Fitzgerald produced an irate George Ryan and Michael Madigan.

An irate George Ryan pushed for Judy Baar Topinka to consider primarying Peter Fitzgerald's ass.

Peter Fitzgerald decided not to run for re-election.

An irate Michael Madigan sang the blues to Emil Jones who encouraged his political godson to run for U.S. Senate.

A bunch of people decided to run from both parties: Gery Chico, Maria Pappas, Nancy Skinner, Blair Hull, Steve Rauschenberger, Jack Ryan, John Borling, John Cox, Jim Oberweis, etc. etc. I think there were a total of 20 from both parties.

Blair Hull was mopping up the Democratic field three weeks before the primary.

Hull's divorce files revealed he hit his wife several times.

Obama won the Democratic primary, Jack Ryan the Republican primary.

Jeri Ryan stuff comes out in June after a big buildup.

Jack Ryan decides to leave race.

8 weeks elapse and nobody wants to run. There was a pro-Ditka movement, and 1963 Bears ballboy Sen. George Allen Jr. even tried talking him into it in his capacities as RSCC Chair.

After awhile Judy Baar Topinka comes back with ... Alan Fucking Keyes.

Libertarian candidate Jerry Kohn doesn't get enough traction.

I'd have added in one piece for clarity: Alan Dixon voted for Clarence Thomas' confirmation, leading the dems to primary him producing Carol Mosely-Braun's 37% showing. The IL-GOP, liking mini-DINO Dixon was unprepared for Dixon to be out and ran whack job Richard S. Williamson (kind of a lite/white Alan Keyes).

Richard Williamson is a whack job, how?

Richard Williamson's candidacy was hardly like Bernie Epton's or Alan Keyes'. He just didn't have much of an organization, and the party in 1992 was focusing elsewhere.

Also, I speak for Section 242 as well when I say FYC!

[CT III]

Da Coach's regrets?

Not winning another title? No.
Having Doug Flutie over for Thanksgiving dinner? No.
Trading a whole draft for Ricky Williams? No.
No asswhupping Obama in 2004? Yes!

This is just going to start the "Jeri Ryan is the reason for President Obama" causal chain again.

Will the Jeri Ryan Shutdown lead to a second Jeri Ryan Recession?

That picture kind of looks like what Jack Ryan had in mind for his wife before they got divorced.

And how does Clarence Thomas play into the chain, Chuck?

Alan Dixon voted for Clarence Thomas' confirmation, producing Carol Mosely-Braun.

Carol Mosely-Braun's term of incompetence produced Peter Fitzgerald.

Peter Fitzgerald produced Patrick Fitzgerald.

Patrick Fitzgerald produced an irate George Ryan and Michael Madigan.

An irate George Ryan pushed for Judy Baar Topinka to consider primarying Peter Fitzgerald's ass.

Peter Fitzgerald decided not to run for re-election.

An irate Michael Madigan sang the blues to Emil Jones who encouraged his political godson to run for U.S. Senate.

A bunch of people decided to run from both parties: Gery Chico, Maria Pappas, Nancy Skinner, Blair Hull, Steve Rauschenberger, Jack Ryan, John Borling, John Cox, Jim Oberweis, etc. etc. I think there were a total of 20 from both parties.

Blair Hull was mopping up the Democratic field three weeks before the primary.

Hull's divorce files revealed he hit his wife several times.

Obama won the Democratic primary, Jack Ryan the Republican primary.

Jeri Ryan stuff comes out in June after a big buildup.

Jack Ryan decides to leave race.

8 weeks elapse and nobody wants to run. There was a pro-Ditka movement, and 1963 Bears ballboy Sen. George Allen Jr. even tried talking him into it in his capacities as RSCC Chair.

After awhile Judy Baar Topinka comes back with ... Alan Fucking Keyes.

Libertarian candidate Jerry Kohn doesn't get enough traction.

No one?  Point of fact, Jim Oberweis sure as shit wanted to run after finishing 2nd in the primary and everything.  I assume that GOP passed him over because he was the one who publicly hammered Ryan to unseal his divorce file BEFORE the GOP primary in an attempt to score points on him.

[Brownie]

Da Coach's regrets?

Not winning another title? No.
Having Doug Flutie over for Thanksgiving dinner? No.
Trading a whole draft for Ricky Williams? No.
No asswhupping Obama in 2004? Yes!

This is just going to start the "Jeri Ryan is the reason for President Obama" causal chain again.

Will the Jeri Ryan Shutdown lead to a second Jeri Ryan Recession?

That picture kind of looks like what Jack Ryan had in mind for his wife before they got divorced.

And how does Clarence Thomas play into the chain, Chuck?

Alan Dixon voted for Clarence Thomas' confirmation, producing Carol Mosely-Braun.

Carol Mosely-Braun's term of incompetence produced Peter Fitzgerald.

Peter Fitzgerald produced Patrick Fitzgerald.

Patrick Fitzgerald produced an irate George Ryan and Michael Madigan.

An irate George Ryan pushed for Judy Baar Topinka to consider primarying Peter Fitzgerald's ass.

Peter Fitzgerald decided not to run for re-election.

An irate Michael Madigan sang the blues to Emil Jones who encouraged his political godson to run for U.S. Senate.

A bunch of people decided to run from both parties: Gery Chico, Maria Pappas, Nancy Skinner, Blair Hull, Steve Rauschenberger, Jack Ryan, John Borling, John Cox, Jim Oberweis, etc. etc. I think there were a total of 20 from both parties.

Blair Hull was mopping up the Democratic field three weeks before the primary.

Hull's divorce files revealed he hit his wife several times.

Obama won the Democratic primary, Jack Ryan the Republican primary.

Jeri Ryan stuff comes out in June after a big buildup.

Jack Ryan decides to leave race.

8 weeks elapse and nobody wants to run. There was a pro-Ditka movement, and 1963 Bears ballboy Sen. George Allen Jr. even tried talking him into it in his capacities as RSCC Chair.

After awhile Judy Baar Topinka comes back with ... Alan Fucking Keyes.

Libertarian candidate Jerry Kohn doesn't get enough traction.

No one?  Point of fact, Jim Oberweis sure as shit wanted to run after finishing 2nd in the primary and everything.  I assume that GOP passed him over because he was the one who publicly hammered Ryan to unseal his divorce file BEFORE the GOP primary in an attempt to score points on him.

Very true. Except it was John Borling, not Oberweis, who wanted the records opened. I think with Oberweis, people were already weary of his act. He ran to the left of Durkin in the 2002 Senate primary, then he ran to the right of just about everyone, and then did inane prescription drug junkets on buses to Canada with voters, gave out free ice cream and focused on immigration so heavily that his ad in which he was in a helicopter over Soldier Field made me think he was going to pull out a sniper rifle and gun down Roberto Garza and Israel Idonije. I think the GOP would have gone for Rauschenberger, Ron Gidwitz, Jim Edgar or the not as of yet convicted Jim Thompson.

[CT III]

Da Coach's regrets?

Not winning another title? No.
Having Doug Flutie over for Thanksgiving dinner? No.
Trading a whole draft for Ricky Williams? No.
No asswhupping Obama in 2004? Yes!

This is just going to start the "Jeri Ryan is the reason for President Obama" causal chain again.

Will the Jeri Ryan Shutdown lead to a second Jeri Ryan Recession?

That picture kind of looks like what Jack Ryan had in mind for his wife before they got divorced.

And how does Clarence Thomas play into the chain, Chuck?

Alan Dixon voted for Clarence Thomas' confirmation, producing Carol Mosely-Braun.

Carol Mosely-Braun's term of incompetence produced Peter Fitzgerald.

Peter Fitzgerald produced Patrick Fitzgerald.

Patrick Fitzgerald produced an irate George Ryan and Michael Madigan.

An irate George Ryan pushed for Judy Baar Topinka to consider primarying Peter Fitzgerald's ass.

Peter Fitzgerald decided not to run for re-election.

An irate Michael Madigan sang the blues to Emil Jones who encouraged his political godson to run for U.S. Senate.

A bunch of people decided to run from both parties: Gery Chico, Maria Pappas, Nancy Skinner, Blair Hull, Steve Rauschenberger, Jack Ryan, John Borling, John Cox, Jim Oberweis, etc. etc. I think there were a total of 20 from both parties.

Blair Hull was mopping up the Democratic field three weeks before the primary.

Hull's divorce files revealed he hit his wife several times.

Obama won the Democratic primary, Jack Ryan the Republican primary.

Jeri Ryan stuff comes out in June after a big buildup.

Jack Ryan decides to leave race.

8 weeks elapse and nobody wants to run. There was a pro-Ditka movement, and 1963 Bears ballboy Sen. George Allen Jr. even tried talking him into it in his capacities as RSCC Chair.

After awhile Judy Baar Topinka comes back with ... Alan Fucking Keyes.

Libertarian candidate Jerry Kohn doesn't get enough traction.

No one?  Point of fact, Jim Oberweis sure as shit wanted to run after finishing 2nd in the primary and everything.  I assume that GOP passed him over because he was the one who publicly hammered Ryan to unseal his divorce file BEFORE the GOP primary in an attempt to score points on him.

Very true. Except it was John Borling, not Oberweis, who wanted the records opened. I think with Oberweis, people were already weary of his act. He ran to the left of Durkin in the 2002 Senate primary, then he ran to the right of just about everyone, and then did inane prescription drug junkets on buses to Canada with voters, gave out free ice cream and focused on immigration so heavily that his ad in which he was in a helicopter over Soldier Field made me think he was going to pull out a sniper rifle and gun down Roberto Garza and Israel Idonije. I think the GOP would have gone for Rauschenberger, Ron Gidwitz, Jim Edgar or the not as of yet convicted Jim Thompson.

I miss him.