Morning in America: Butthurt Achieved

[Quality Start Machine]

Hey, Australia's Sarah Palin might even be dumber than ours!

[CBStew]

Hey, Australia's Sarah Palin might even be dumber than ours!

No, Fork.

[Gilgamesh]

Hey, Australia's Sarah Palin might even be dumber than ours!

Do we have information about her uterus too?

[R-V]

http://www.kernelmag.com/comment/analysis/5140/vladimir-putin-king-of-the-trolls/

[morpheus]

http://www.kernelmag.com/comment/analysis/5140/vladimir-putin-king-of-the-trolls/

something something best trolls are better for having trolled something

[Brownie]

http://www.kernelmag.com/comment/analysis/5140/vladimir-putin-king-of-the-trolls/

something something best trolls are better for having trolled something

How does Putin compare to Kierkegaard?

[Quality Start Machine]

http://www.kernelmag.com/comment/analysis/5140/vladimir-putin-king-of-the-trolls/

something something best trolls are better for having trolled something

This guy left out the best part, where Putin mentions God creating everyone equal.

[Gilgamesh]

There might be a government shutdown, or a debt crisis, or whatever, but goddamnit...

OUR LONG NATIONAL HELIUM CRISIS IS ABOUT TO END!!!

http://news.sciencemag.org/policy/2013/09/updated-u.s.-senate-ends-helium-saga

[J. Walter Weatherman]

https://twitter.com/BarackObama/status/382621635280252928

"Not only are premiums lower than they were, they're lower than the most optimistic predictions." —President Obama on Obamacare #CGI2013

https://twitter.com/AriFleischer/statuses/382632760315486209

Question to @gov:  how come @BarackObama 's last tweet was more than 140 characters?  Does he play by different rules???

[ChuckD]

https://twitter.com/BarackObama/status/382621635280252928

"Not only are premiums lower than they were, they're lower than the most optimistic predictions." —President Obama on Obamacare #CGI2013

https://twitter.com/AriFleischer/statuses/382632760315486209

Question to @gov:  how come @BarackObama 's last tweet was more than 140 characters?  Does he play by different rules???

Spoiler Alert: 136

[J. Walter Weatherman]

https://twitter.com/BarackObama/status/382621635280252928

"Not only are premiums lower than they were, they're lower than the most optimistic predictions." —President Obama on Obamacare #CGI2013

https://twitter.com/AriFleischer/statuses/382632760315486209

Question to @gov:  how come @BarackObama 's last tweet was more than 140 characters?  Does he play by different rules???

Spoiler Alert: 136

https://twitter.com/AriFleischer/status/382635153723764736

@gov I retract my tweet. When I copy and pasted, it included the @BarackObama.

[Saul Goodman]

https://twitter.com/BarackObama/status/382621635280252928

"Not only are premiums lower than they were, they're lower than the most optimistic predictions." —President Obama on Obamacare #CGI2013

https://twitter.com/AriFleischer/statuses/382632760315486209

Question to @gov:  how come @BarackObama 's last tweet was more than 140 characters?  Does he play by different rules???

Spoiler Alert: 136

https://twitter.com/AriFleischer/status/382635153723764736

@gov I retract my tweet. When I copy and pasted, it included the @BarackObama.

Finally, someone who's not afraid to ask the REAL QUESTIONS.  Ever since Glenn Beck disappeared that's been sorely lacking.

[J. Walter Weatherman]

Wait, what?

Already, both sides are trying to make sure the other gets blamed for a government shutdown, if it happens. A group of House Republicans met Sunday on the steps of the U.S. Capitol, including Representative Marsha Blackburn.

"This is what President Barack Obama wants. This is all part of his game plan. Shut it down, so he can get the checkbook, and so he, and Attorney General Eric Holder can decide what parts of the federal government are going to stay open," said Blackburn.

The pro-shutdown Republicans are giving me vertigo.

[CBStew]

Wait, what?

Already, both sides are trying to make sure the other gets blamed for a government shutdown, if it happens. A group of House Republicans met Sunday on the steps of the U.S. Capitol, including Representative Marsha Blackburn.

"This is what President Barack Obama wants. This is all part of his game plan. Shut it down, so he can get the checkbook, and so he, and Attorney General Eric Holder can decide what parts of the federal government are going to stay open," said Blackburn.

The pro-shutdown Republicans are giving me vertigo.

Now deceased, Alfred Hitchcock is precluded from seeking royalties.

[Saul Goodman]

(deep breath) DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!!!