Morning in America: Butthurt Achieved

[J. Walter Weatherman]

This is apparently at least a year old. Which makes me sad that I don't recall seeing it until today...



Thus Esau despised his birthright.

[Yeti]

/TheIllinoisWeOnceKnewAndLoved

[J. Walter Weatherman]

/TheIllinoisWeOnceKnewAndLoved

Something something chosen rebellious lifestyle. Something something "studies". Something something anti-gay meds. Something something just like a retard.

[R-V]

Is there a bigger asshole around than Richard Cohen?

Today's GOP is not racist, as Harry Belafonte alleged about the tea party, but it is deeply troubled — about the expansion of government, about immigration, about secularism, about the mainstreaming of what used to be the avant-garde. People with conventional views must repress a gag reflex when considering the mayor-elect of New York — a white man married to a black woman and with two biracial children. (Should I mention that Bill de Blasio's wife, Chirlane McCray, used to be a lesbian?) This family represents the cultural changes that have enveloped parts — but not all — of America. To cultural conservatives, this doesn't look like their country at all.

[Quality Start Machine]

Is there a bigger asshole around than Richard Cohen?

Today's GOP is not racist, as Harry Belafonte alleged about the tea party, but it is deeply troubled — about the expansion of government, about immigration, about secularism, about the mainstreaming of what used to be the avant-garde. People with conventional views must repress a gag reflex when considering the mayor-elect of New York — a white man married to a black woman and with two biracial children. (Should I mention that Bill de Blasio's wife, Chirlane McCray, used to be a lesbian?) This family represents the cultural changes that have enveloped parts — but not all — of America. To cultural conservatives, this doesn't look like their country at all.

But at least he's not racist.

[CT III]

Is there a bigger asshole around than Richard Cohen?

Today's GOP is not racist, as Harry Belafonte alleged about the tea party, but it is deeply troubled — about the expansion of government, about immigration, about secularism, about the mainstreaming of what used to be the avant-garde. People with conventional views must repress a gag reflex when considering the mayor-elect of New York — a white man married to a black woman and with two biracial children. (Should I mention that Bill de Blasio's wife, Chirlane McCray, used to be a lesbian?) This family represents the cultural changes that have enveloped parts — but not all — of America. To cultural conservatives, this doesn't look like their country at all.

You can't "own" a country, man. 

[J. Walter Weatherman]

Is there a bigger asshole around than Richard Cohen?

Today's GOP is not racist, as Harry Belafonte alleged about the tea party, but it is deeply troubled — about the expansion of government, about immigration, about secularism, about the mainstreaming of what used to be the avant-garde. People with conventional views must repress a gag reflex when considering the mayor-elect of New York — a white man married to a black woman and with two biracial children. (Should I mention that Bill de Blasio's wife, Chirlane McCray, used to be a lesbian?) This family represents the cultural changes that have enveloped parts — but not all — of America. To cultural conservatives, this doesn't look like their country at all.

Richard Cohen sure loves him a parenthetical zinger and thoughtful aside...

And the more literate of them — that's not you, Palin — must have chortled over post-election newspaper columns extolling Christie as precisely the sort of candidate the GOP ought to run in 2016.

Christie can passably argue that he is that, but no one is going to call him a Christian conservative. After all, he opposed same-sex marriage in New Jersey, but he acquiesced. Cruz would not to do that. He'd still be talking — and Steve would still be single.

http://voices.washingtonpost.com/postpartisan/2009/09/let_polanski_go_--_but_first_l.html

Polanski is a great film director -- although the much-acclaimed "Chinatown" has a muddled script -- but his true talent is to make fools of his friends.

He seduced -- if that can possibly be the word -- the 13-year-old Samantha Geimer with all the power and authority of a 44-year-old movie director who could make her famous.

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2006/05/03/AR2006050302202.html

First, let me state my credentials: I am a funny guy. This is well known in certain circles, which is why, even back in elementary school, I was sometimes asked by the teacher to "say something funny" -- as if the deed could be done on demand.

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2006/05/08/AR2006050801323.html

Kapow! Within a day, I got more than 2,000 e-mails. A day later, I got 1,000 more. By the fourth day, the number had reached 3,499 -- a figure that does not include the usual offers of nubile Russian women or loot from African dictators.

http://www.washingtonpost.com/opinions/richard-cohen-miley-cyrus-steubenville-and-culture-run-amok/2013/09/02/1cecafa6-11af-11e3-bdf6-e4fc677d94a1_story.html

So now back to Miley Cyrus and her twerking. I run the risk of old-fogeyness for suggesting the girl's a tasteless twit — especially that bit with the foam finger. (Look it up, if you must.)

http://www.washingtonpost.com/opinions/richard-cohen-racism-vs-reality/2013/07/15/4f419eb6-ed7a-11e2-a1f9-ea873b7e0424_story.html

Crime where it intersects with race is given the silent treatment. Everything else is discussed — and if it isn't, there's a Dr. Phil or an Oprah saying that it should be.

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2009/07/27/AR2009072701904.html

I checked my records and diaries and discovered that I had been offered many opportunities to exclusively interview the president, but only after he had been exclusively interviewed by all the other columnists and bloggers and, of course, the anchors of all the networks, including cable -- basic as well as premium.

For a person of my age, this was a sea change, or maybe a watershed or even a tsunami -- something big and aquatic.

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/blog/2006/02/15/BL2006021501989.html

I confess to be one of those people who hate math. I can do my basic arithmetic all right (although not percentages) but I flunked algebra (once), barely passed it the second time -- the only proof I've ever seen of divine intervention -- somehow passed geometry and resolved, with a grateful exhale of breath, that I would never go near math again.

Most of math can now be done by a computer or a calculator. On the other hand, no computer can write a column or even a thank-you note -- or reason even a little bit.

http://articles.washingtonpost.com/2008-07-22/opinions/36844855_1_tattoos-wino-forever-disposable-income

Seize the day -- laser tomorrow.

It's like he vaguely remembers Jack Benny taking a beat once and decided that punchlines and witty bon mots live between the em dashes.

[Saul Goodman]

First, let me state my credentials: I am a funny guy. This is well known in certain circles, which is why, even back in elementary school, I was sometimes asked by the teacher to "say something funny" -- as if the deed could be done on demand.

HOW MANY TIMES DOES RICHARD COHEN HAVE TO TELL YOU, RICHARD COHEN DOES NOT TAKE REQUESTS.

[Gilgamesh]

Is there a bigger asshole around than Richard Cohen?

Today's GOP is not racist, as Harry Belafonte alleged about the tea party, but it is deeply troubled — about the expansion of government, about immigration, about secularism, about the mainstreaming of what used to be the avant-garde. People with conventional views must repress a gag reflex when considering the mayor-elect of New York — a white man married to a black woman and with two biracial children. (Should I mention that Bill de Blasio's wife, Chirlane McCray, used to be a lesbian?) This family represents the cultural changes that have enveloped parts — but not all — of America. To cultural conservatives, this doesn't look like their country at all.

You can't "own" a country, man. 

I was going to come on here and comment on this, but I'm glad to see RV has already done so.

I don't know how one goes from this rather unsupported premise to this completely ass-backward and insulting conclusion.  Is "people with conventional views" supposed to mean people who are concerned about the very things that he divined or is he using some other definition?

Aside from its offensiveness, it doesn't even make fucking sense.

[Quality Start Machine]

Is there a bigger asshole around than Richard Cohen?

Today's GOP is not racist, as Harry Belafonte alleged about the tea party, but it is deeply troubled — about the expansion of government, about immigration, about secularism, about the mainstreaming of what used to be the avant-garde. People with conventional views must repress a gag reflex when considering the mayor-elect of New York — a white man married to a black woman and with two biracial children. (Should I mention that Bill de Blasio's wife, Chirlane McCray, used to be a lesbian?) This family represents the cultural changes that have enveloped parts — but not all — of America. To cultural conservatives, this doesn't look like their country at all.

You can't "own" a country, man. 

I was going to come on here and comment on this, but I'm glad to see RV has already done so.

I don't know how one goes from this rather unsupported premise to this completely ass-backward and insulting conclusion.  Is "people with conventional views" supposed to mean people who are concerned about the very things that he divined or is he using some other definition?

Aside from its offensiveness, it doesn't even make fucking sense.

Plus, people with these types of "conventional views" will also refer to anyone named Cohen as "east coast elite".

[CBStew]

What was muddled about the script of "Chinatown"?  Or was that a racist comment?

[Gilgamesh]

Is there a bigger asshole around than Richard Cohen?

Today's GOP is not racist, as Harry Belafonte alleged about the tea party, but it is deeply troubled — about the expansion of government, about immigration, about secularism, about the mainstreaming of what used to be the avant-garde. People with conventional views must repress a gag reflex when considering the mayor-elect of New York — a white man married to a black woman and with two biracial children. (Should I mention that Bill de Blasio's wife, Chirlane McCray, used to be a lesbian?) This family represents the cultural changes that have enveloped parts — but not all — of America. To cultural conservatives, this doesn't look like their country at all.

You can't "own" a country, man. 

I was going to come on here and comment on this, but I'm glad to see RV has already done so.

I don't know how one goes from this rather unsupported premise to this completely ass-backward and insulting conclusion.  Is "people with conventional views" supposed to mean people who are concerned about the very things that he divined or is he using some other definition?

Aside from its offensiveness, it doesn't even make fucking sense.

Plus, people with these types of "conventional views" will also refer to anyone named Cohen as "east coast elite".

And here's Slate in time to completely miss the point *and* liberally toss around the racist label: http://www.slate.com/blogs/outward/2013/11/12/richard_cohen_s_racist_interracial_marriage_gag_column_analyzing_conventions.html

[Bort]

What was muddled about the script of "Chinatown"?  Or was that a racist comment?

Nothing. Cohen is dumber than a roomful of Farnsworths.

[Internet Apex]

Caucasian-American icon George Zimmerman arrested again.

http://news.yahoo.com/george-zimmerman-arrested-florida-following-disturbance-call-191020842--abc-news-topstories.html?soc_src=mediacontentstory

Hopefully a date with Gen Pop finally awaits.

[BBM]

What was muddled about the script of "Chinatown"?  Or was that a racist comment?

Nothing. Cohen is dumber than a roomful of Farnsworths.

WERNSTROM!