The Hobbit

[J. Walter Weatherman]

Saw it last night. I think Tonks has it right.  It's fine.  Nothing more.  And it's way too long in the beginning and it's far too derivative of the first movies.  I was half expecting Gandalf to scream "YOU SHALL NOT PASS!" at Turkey Wattle Goblin.

Last thing: Bunny sleds are worse than Ewoks.

You know, that was like 30 fucking years ago.  Maybe it's time you just got over it.

30 fucking years ago in a movie aimed at children.

Two movies aimed at kids.

[Chuck to Chuck]

Saw it last night. I think Tonks has it right.  It's fine.  Nothing more.  And it's way too long in the beginning and it's far too derivative of the first movies.  I was half expecting Gandalf to scream "YOU SHALL NOT PASS!" at Turkey Wattle Goblin.

Last thing: Bunny sleds are worse than Ewoks.

You know, that was like 30 fucking years ago.  Maybe it's time you just got over it.

30 fucking years ago in a movie aimed at children.

Two movies aimed at kids.

I went with my kids.

[J. Walter Weatherman]

For the record, this is what was "worse than Ewoks":



Goddammit, Chuck.

[Bort]

For the record, this is what was "worse than Ewoks":



Goddammit, Chuck.

I sometimes assume he's an elaborate troll.

[Bort]

Okay, as I'm up at an ungodly hour, I thought I'd address two Chuckian wrongs from the first page. I guess Tonk is also in on the first wrong, but not as obnoxiously so.

*snorts*

*adjusts glasses*

1. The Eagles do not work for Gandalf and have no stake in what happens to humans, elves, dwarves et al. They do favors for him out of long friendship. He cannot send them in to Mordor any more than we could order France to invade Belgium.  They would almost certainly have been shot the shit down had they flown directly to Mordor, as only the huge battle and fall of Sauron got them in in the first place.

2. Jesus fucking Christ, Chuck. The eagles are not "America." Tolkein hated allegory so much he went out if his way to talk about it in the paperback intro that has been in every edition since the 60s.

Now if you excuse me, I have some Superman back issues to catalog while drinking Mountain Dew.

[Tonker]

Okay, as I'm up at an ungodly hour, I thought I'd address two Chuckian wrongs from the first page. I guess Tonk is also in on the first wrong, but not as obnoxiously so.

*snorts*

*adjusts glasses*

1. The Eagles do not work for Gandalf and have no stake in what happens to humans, elves, dwarves et al. They do favors for him out of long friendship. He cannot send them in to Mordor any more than we could order France to invade Belgium.  They would almost certainly have been shot the shit down had they flown directly to Mordor, as only the huge battle and fall of Sauron got them in in the first place.

2. Jesus fucking Christ, Chuck. The eagles are not "America." Tolkein hated allegory so much he went out if his way to talk about it in the paperback intro that has been in every edition since the 60s.

Now if you excuse me, I have some Superman back issues to catalog while drinking Mountain Dew.

My point was more that, if Gandalf could get the eagles to take them to within sight of whatever the fuck that mountain is called, it would have been polite of them to a) pick them up from the Shire in the first place and b) drop them on the doorstep rather than on top of a stone pillar fifty miles away.  It's just a question of common courtesy.

[Chuck to Chuck]

Jesus fucking Christ, Chuck. The eagles are not "America." Tolkein hated allegory so much he went out if his way to talk about it in the paperback intro that has been in every edition since the 60s.

Fine.

The bunnies are America.

[Quality Start Machine]

Okay, as I'm up at an ungodly hour, I thought I'd address two Chuckian wrongs from the first page. I guess Tonk is also in on the first wrong, but not as obnoxiously so.

*snorts*

*adjusts glasses*

1. The Eagles do not work for Gandalf and have no stake in what happens to humans, elves, dwarves et al. They do favors for him out of long friendship. He cannot send them in to Mordor any more than we could order France to invade Belgium.  They would almost certainly have been shot the shit down had they flown directly to Mordor, as only the huge battle and fall of Sauron got them in in the first place.

2. Jesus fucking Christ, Chuck. The eagles are not "America." Tolkein hated allegory so much he went out if his way to talk about it in the paperback intro that has been in every edition since the 60s.

Now if you excuse me, I have some Superman back issues to catalog while drinking Mountain Dew.

My point was more that, if Gandalf could get the eagles to take them to within sight of whatever the fuck that mountain is called, it would have been polite of them to a) pick them up from the Shire in the first place and b) drop them on the doorstep rather than on top of a stone pillar fifty miles away.  It's just a question of common courtesy.

and the eagles should have worn cabbie hats at a jaunty angle.

[SKO]

Okay, as I'm up at an ungodly hour, I thought I'd address two Chuckian wrongs from the first page. I guess Tonk is also in on the first wrong, but not as obnoxiously so.

*snorts*

*adjusts glasses*

1. The Eagles do not work for Gandalf and have no stake in what happens to humans, elves, dwarves et al. They do favors for him out of long friendship. He cannot send them in to Mordor any more than we could order France to invade Belgium.  They would almost certainly have been shot the shit down had they flown directly to Mordor, as only the huge battle and fall of Sauron got them in in the first place.

2. Jesus fucking Christ, Chuck. The eagles are not "America." Tolkein hated allegory so much he went out if his way to talk about it in the paperback intro that has been in every edition since the 60s.

Now if you excuse me, I have some Superman back issues to catalog while drinking Mountain Dew.

Which of his seventeen countries does Tonker side with in that scenario?

[SKO]

Pretty good explanations all around: http://www.examiner.com/article/tolkien-101-why-doesn-t-frodo-just-ride-an-eagle-to-mount-doom

[Tonker]

Pretty good explanations all around: http://www.examiner.com/article/tolkien-101-why-doesn-t-frodo-just-ride-an-eagle-to-mount-doom

Again, we're not talking about Frodo and Mount Doom, we're talking about Bilbo and the Dwarves' home mountain, towards which the eagles took them most of the way anyway.  Why not just extend that journey a little at both ends and be done with it?

[R-V]

I feel like this thread is a parody of the internet.

[SKO]

Pretty good explanations all around: http://www.examiner.com/article/tolkien-101-why-doesn-t-frodo-just-ride-an-eagle-to-mount-doom

Again, we're not talking about Frodo and Mount Doom, we're talking about Bilbo and the Dwarves' home mountain, towards which the eagles took them most of the way anyway.  Why not just extend that journey a little at both ends and be done with it?

"The Eagles intervened because they hate Wargs and Orcs, but they refused to take Gandalf and the others very far, because the Eagles have their own business to take care of and don't exist for the convenience others. " That's what they've got.

[SKO]

I feel like this thread is a parody of the internet.

I always enjoy it when one of the Desipio internet ghey nerds acts surprised when he realizes he spends all of his time on a ghey internet messageboard for ghey internet nerds.

[J. Walter Weatherman]

I feel like this thread is a parody of the internet.

I always enjoy it when one of the Desipio internet ghey nerds acts surprised when he realizes he spends all of his time on a ghey internet messageboard for ghey internet nerds.

That doesn't mean RV's wrong.