Jorge Soler Zero Percent Financing Thud On The Shower Door SPLOOGE Fest

[PenFoe]

He really, really needs to start fouling those borderline pitches off.

He was 28-100 with three dongs in May and K'd 32 times. It seemed a whole lot worse didn't it?

Bryant was 27-100 with seven dongs and K'd 39. I know Bryant had a much greater month, but if that was Soler "struggling" to adjust to MLB pitching, the Cubs are going to win four or five World Series.

He was abysmal the last two weeks or so of April and about the first week or so of May, and then slowly worked his way back, and now I'd say he's ready to tear the cover off of the ball all summer. He had one yesterday that would have been out almost any other day.

Soler is that dude who's gonna get so shit-white hot he's going to blind a few motherfuckers with the explosions he's going to cause.

A locked in Soler is the scariest thing in the world because his swing is so beautifully violent I fear for the life of anyone in the path of a ball from his bat.

Your shit is white?

[InternetApex]

He really, really needs to start fouling those borderline pitches off.

He was 28-100 with three dongs in May and K'd 32 times. It seemed a whole lot worse didn't it?

Bryant was 27-100 with seven dongs and K'd 39. I know Bryant had a much greater month, but if that was Soler "struggling" to adjust to MLB pitching, the Cubs are going to win four or five World Series.

He was abysmal the last two weeks or so of April and about the first week or so of May, and then slowly worked his way back, and now I'd say he's ready to tear the cover off of the ball all summer. He had one yesterday that would have been out almost any other day.

Soler is that dude who's gonna get so shit-white hot he's going to blind a few motherfuckers with the explosions he's going to cause.

A locked in Soler is the scariest thing in the world because his swing is so beautifully violent I fear for the life of anyone in the path of a ball from his bat.

Your shit is white?

After it sits out in the sun for a week probably.

[CT III]

He really, really needs to start fouling those borderline pitches off.

He was 28-100 with three dongs in May and K'd 32 times. It seemed a whole lot worse didn't it?

Bryant was 27-100 with seven dongs and K'd 39. I know Bryant had a much greater month, but if that was Soler "struggling" to adjust to MLB pitching, the Cubs are going to win four or five World Series.

He was abysmal the last two weeks or so of April and about the first week or so of May, and then slowly worked his way back, and now I'd say he's ready to tear the cover off of the ball all summer. He had one yesterday that would have been out almost any other day.

Soler is that dude who's gonna get so shit-white hot he's going to blind a few motherfuckers with the explosions he's going to cause.

A locked in Soler is the scariest thing in the world because his swing is so beautifully violent I fear for the life of anyone in the path of a ball from his bat.

Your shit is white?

After it sits out in the sun for a week probably.

Jesus Christ, you need to pick that up with a shopping bag. We're living in a society here, people.

[PenFoe]

DL, shit. 

[SKO]

Goddammit.

[Chuck to Chuck]

DL, shit. 

Baxter to replace him. For 6 days if I calculated Baez's service time correctly.

[SKO]

According to Gordo the time table is about 6 weeks, so it's probably a stupid high ankle sprain. Dammit all to hell.

[R-V]

According to Gordo the time table is about 6 weeks, so it's probably a stupid high ankle sprain. Dammit all to hell.

Whoa whoa whoa - according to this guy, Jorge will be fine in about 10 days.

Let's give Fork a chance to weigh in before we finalize the timetable.

[SKO]

According to Gordo the time table is about 6 weeks, so it's probably a stupid high ankle sprain. Dammit all to hell.

Whoa whoa whoa - according to this guy, Jorge will be fine in about 10 days.

Let's give Fork a chance to weigh in before we finalize the timetable.

And Gonzales said in his trib article it could be "up to 3 weeks". So let's hope he comes off the DL on day 16 and we can all laugh at Gordo for being a wrongheaded fuckface again.

[Chuck to Chuck]

According to Gordo the time table is about 6 weeks, so it's probably a stupid high ankle sprain. Dammit all to hell.

Whoa whoa whoa - according to this guy, Jorge will be fine in about 10 days.

Let's give Fork a chance to weigh in before we finalize the timetable.

And Gonzales said in his trib article it could be "up to 3 weeks". So let's hope he comes off the DL on day 16 and we can all laugh at Gordo for being a wrongheaded fuckface again.

Do we have to wait to do that?

[PenFoe]

According to Gordo the time table is about 6 weeks, so it's probably a stupid high ankle sprain. Dammit all to hell.

Whoa whoa whoa - according to this guy, Jorge will be fine in about 10 days.

Let's give Fork a chance to weigh in before we finalize the timetable.

And Gonzales said in his trib article it could be "up to 3 weeks". So let's hope he comes off the DL on day 16 and we can all laugh at Gordo for being a wrongheaded fuckface again.

Do we have to wait to do that?

From the archives

[Quality Start Machine]

According to Gordo the time table is about 6 weeks, so it's probably a stupid high ankle sprain. Dammit all to hell.

Whoa whoa whoa - according to this guy, Jorge will be fine in about 10 days.

Let's give Fork a chance to weigh in before we finalize the timetable.

Never had one of those, so I have no expertise in this particular injury.

[SKO]

The Cubs had an article on their website this weekend about how they and Jorge really feel he'll do his 15 days and be back immediately, which I can't feel like they'd post unless they felt pretty sure it was true, and also unless they wanted to send yet another giant FUCK YOU to Gordo.

[SKO]

Miss youuuuuu

[Chuck to Chuck]

The Cubs had an article on their website this weekend about how they and Jorge really feel he'll do his 15 days and be back immediately, which I can't feel like they'd post unless they felt pretty sure it was true, and also unless they wanted to send yet another giant FUCK YOU to Gordo.

It's going to end up being 4 to 5 weeks.