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Author Topic: The Adventures of Li'lbitch  ( 6,049 )

CBStew

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The Adventures of Li'lbitch
« on: April 04, 2013, 12:11:58 PM »
Doesn't this colossal blunder deserve its own thread?
If I had known that I was going to live this long I would have taken better care of myself.   (Plagerized from numerous other folks)

Tonker

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Re: The Adventures of Li'lbitch
« Reply #1 on: April 04, 2013, 12:21:05 PM »
I especially enjoyed the way he struck out with his bat on his shoulder and the bases loaded, two out, last night - to a curve ball, right down the middle.  And then set off for first base, only to have a little toddler-tantrum when the ump called him out.
Your toilet's broken, Dave, but I fixed it.

Internet Apex

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Re: The Adventures of Li'lbitch
« Reply #2 on: April 04, 2013, 12:48:23 PM »
In what month will he get his first hit as a Cub?
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Gilgamesh

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Re: The Adventures of Li'lbitch
« Reply #3 on: April 04, 2013, 01:33:30 PM »
Quote from: Internet Apex on April 04, 2013, 12:48:23 PM
In what month will he get his first hit as a Cub?

Smarch.
This is so bad, I'd root for the Orioles over this fucking team, but I can't. Because they're a fucking drug and you can't kick it and they'll never win anything and they'll always suck, but it'll always be sunny at Wrigley and there will be tits and ivy and an old scoreboard and fucking Chads.

Saul Goodman

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Re: The Adventures of Li'lbitch
« Reply #4 on: April 04, 2013, 02:30:54 PM »
Quote from: CBStew on April 04, 2013, 12:11:58 PM
Doesn't this colossal blunder deserve its own thread?

Are we talking about yesterday, today, ...?
You two wanna go stick your wangs in a hornet's nest, it's a free country.  But how come I always gotta get sloppy seconds, huh?

Eli

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Re: The Adventures of Li'lbitch
« Reply #5 on: April 04, 2013, 03:26:38 PM »
Oh, I get it. Because his name is Lillibridge. Clever.

CubFaninHydePark

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Re: The Adventures of Li'lbitch
« Reply #6 on: April 04, 2013, 03:28:04 PM »
Quote from: Tonker on April 04, 2013, 12:21:05 PM
I especially enjoyed the way he struck out with his bat on his shoulder and the bases loaded, two out, last night - to a curve ball, right down the middle.  And then set off for first base, only to have a little toddler-tantrum when the ump called him out.

That was an absolutely filthy pitch that just caught the top edge of the zone - and one he had no reason to believe he'd throw as the 10th pitch of the AB after fouling off fastball after fastball and an AB prior where Hairston was frozen on two fastballs that were much, much more obvious strikes.

If you're going to criticize an AB of anyone who got out that inning, his would be the last to criticize.
Those Cardinals aren't red, they're yellow.  Like the Spanish!

Tonker

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Re: The Adventures of Li'lbitch
« Reply #7 on: April 04, 2013, 03:36:16 PM »
Quote from: CubFaninHydePark on April 04, 2013, 03:28:04 PM
Quote from: Tonker on April 04, 2013, 12:21:05 PM
I especially enjoyed the way he struck out with his bat on his shoulder and the bases loaded, two out, last night - to a curve ball, right down the middle.  And then set off for first base, only to have a little toddler-tantrum when the ump called him out.

That was an absolutely filthy pitch that just caught the top edge of the zone - and one he had no reason to believe he'd throw as the 10th pitch of the AB after fouling off fastball after fastball and an AB prior where Hairston was frozen on two fastballs that were much, much more obvious strikes.

If you're going to criticize an AB of anyone who got out that inning, his would be the last to criticize.

Top edge of the zone, my arse - but be that as it may.  If it was anywhere NEAR the fucking zone, he needed to get the fucking bat off his shoulder.  You can NOT let that pitch by you.  The end.
Your toilet's broken, Dave, but I fixed it.

CubFaninHydePark

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Re: The Adventures of Li'lbitch
« Reply #8 on: April 04, 2013, 03:58:53 PM »
Quote from: Tonker on April 04, 2013, 03:36:16 PM
Quote from: CubFaninHydePark on April 04, 2013, 03:28:04 PM
Quote from: Tonker on April 04, 2013, 12:21:05 PM
I especially enjoyed the way he struck out with his bat on his shoulder and the bases loaded, two out, last night - to a curve ball, right down the middle.  And then set off for first base, only to have a little toddler-tantrum when the ump called him out.

That was an absolutely filthy pitch that just caught the top edge of the zone - and one he had no reason to believe he'd throw as the 10th pitch of the AB after fouling off fastball after fastball and an AB prior where Hairston was frozen on two fastballs that were much, much more obvious strikes.

If you're going to criticize an AB of anyone who got out that inning, his would be the last to criticize.

Top edge of the zone, my arse - but be that as it may.  If it was anywhere NEAR the fucking zone, he needed to get the fucking bat off his shoulder.  You can NOT let that pitch by you.  The end.

Some days you just have to tip the hat to the pitcher for throwing his very best pitch of the game as his last pitch of the game.  It was a fantastic AB with two near-misses down the LF line.  He took him to 10 pitches, fouling off a lot of close ones.

Much better hitters than him have had their knees buckled on a 3-2 curve ball in a bases-loaded, 1-out spot when they've been sitting dead red.  It was borderline - it started high, broke late, and didn't drop that much.  Don't rip on Lil'Bitch near as much as give credit to the magic wand for pulling one final rabbit out of his hat.
Those Cardinals aren't red, they're yellow.  Like the Spanish!

Internet Apex

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Re: The Adventures of Li'lbitch
« Reply #9 on: April 04, 2013, 04:35:25 PM »
Quote from: CubFaninHydePark on April 04, 2013, 03:58:53 PM
Quote from: Tonker on April 04, 2013, 03:36:16 PM
Quote from: CubFaninHydePark on April 04, 2013, 03:28:04 PM
Quote from: Tonker on April 04, 2013, 12:21:05 PM
I especially enjoyed the way he struck out with his bat on his shoulder and the bases loaded, two out, last night - to a curve ball, right down the middle.  And then set off for first base, only to have a little toddler-tantrum when the ump called him out.

That was an absolutely filthy pitch that just caught the top edge of the zone - and one he had no reason to believe he'd throw as the 10th pitch of the AB after fouling off fastball after fastball and an AB prior where Hairston was frozen on two fastballs that were much, much more obvious strikes.

If you're going to criticize an AB of anyone who got out that inning, his would be the last to criticize.

Top edge of the zone, my arse - but be that as it may.  If it was anywhere NEAR the fucking zone, he needed to get the fucking bat off his shoulder.  You can NOT let that pitch by you.  The end.

Some days you just have to tip the hat to the pitcher for throwing his very best pitch of the game as his last pitch of the game.  It was a fantastic AB with two near-misses down the LF line.  He took him to 10 pitches, fouling off a lot of close ones.

Much better hitters than him have had their knees buckled on a 3-2 curve ball in a bases-loaded, 1-out spot when they've been sitting dead red.  It was borderline - it started high, broke late, and didn't drop that much.  Don't rip on Lil'Bitch near as much as give credit to the magic wand for pulling one final rabbit out of his hat.

He was 0-for-9 with 4 Ks and no walks in the series. Fuck Wandy too.
The 37th Tenet of Pexism:  Apestink is terrible.

Quality Start Machine

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Re: The Adventures of Li'lbitch
« Reply #10 on: April 04, 2013, 05:06:40 PM »
What an unskilled little twerp.
TIME TO POST!

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Saul Goodman

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Re: The Adventures of Li'lbitch
« Reply #11 on: April 04, 2013, 05:06:46 PM »
Quote from: CubFaninHydePark on April 04, 2013, 03:28:04 PM
Quote from: Tonker on April 04, 2013, 12:21:05 PM
I especially enjoyed the way he struck out with his bat on his shoulder and the bases loaded, two out, last night - to a curve ball, right down the middle.  And then set off for first base, only to have a little toddler-tantrum when the ump called him out.

That was an absolutely filthy pitch that just caught the top edge of the zone - and one he had no reason to believe he'd throw as the 10th pitch of the AB after fouling off fastball after fastball and an AB prior where Hairston was frozen on two fastballs that were much, much more obvious strikes.

If you're going to criticize an AB of anyone who got out that inning, his would be the last to criticize.


BRENT LILLIBRIDGE IS BEYOND REPROACH
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CBStew

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Re: The Adventures of Li'lbitch
« Reply #12 on: April 04, 2013, 06:11:30 PM »
The Cubs have their very own Johnnie Lemaster.

"LeMaster's claim to be the worst player was sealed by one game in 1979. Giants fans loved to hate LeMaster, booing him frequently and giving him the moniker "Johnnie Disaster." LeMaster appeared for his pregame warm-ups in a home game at Candlestick Park with the name on the back of his uniform replaced by word "Boo," demonstrating to fans that he had a sense of humor and was understood that he was not the second coming of Honus Wagner."

Many is the time that I saw Lemaster return to the duggout after striking out, defiantly raising his middle finger while a chorus of "boo" filled the Candlestick air.
If I had known that I was going to live this long I would have taken better care of myself.   (Plagerized from numerous other folks)

Slaky

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Re: The Adventures of Li'lbitch
« Reply #13 on: April 05, 2013, 09:27:05 AM »
Quote from: CBStew on April 04, 2013, 06:11:30 PM
The Cubs have their very own Johnnie Lemaster.

"LeMaster's claim to be the worst player was sealed by one game in 1979. Giants fans loved to hate LeMaster, booing him frequently and giving him the moniker "Johnnie Disaster." LeMaster appeared for his pregame warm-ups in a home game at Candlestick Park with the name on the back of his uniform replaced by word "Boo," demonstrating to fans that he had a sense of humor and was understood that he was not the second coming of Honus Wagner."

Many is the time that I saw Lemaster return to the duggout after striking out, defiantly raising his middle finger while a chorus of "boo" filled the Candlestick air.

We've had the humorless version of LeMaster at least three times that I can count off the top of my head. Probably more. That's just in the last 10 years.

PenFoe

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Re: The Adventures of Li'lbitch
« Reply #14 on: April 05, 2013, 10:22:21 AM »
Quote from: Slaky on April 05, 2013, 09:27:05 AM
Quote from: CBStew on April 04, 2013, 06:11:30 PM
The Cubs have their very own Johnnie Lemaster.

"LeMaster's claim to be the worst player was sealed by one game in 1979. Giants fans loved to hate LeMaster, booing him frequently and giving him the moniker "Johnnie Disaster." LeMaster appeared for his pregame warm-ups in a home game at Candlestick Park with the name on the back of his uniform replaced by word "Boo," demonstrating to fans that he had a sense of humor and was understood that he was not the second coming of Honus Wagner."

Many is the time that I saw Lemaster return to the duggout after striking out, defiantly raising his middle finger while a chorus of "boo" filled the Candlestick air.

We've had the humorless version of LeMaster at least three times that I can count off the top of my head. Probably more. That's just in the last 10 years.

How about an entire starting lineup?

Round the horn...

Catcher


First Base


Second Base


Shortstop


Third Base


Left Field (No, Chuck)


Center Field


Right Field

I can't believe I even know these people. I'm ashamed of my internet life.