2013 Bears: Emstink and Trestink's World Premiere

[Internet Apex]

DOOOOOOOOOOM!!!!!! That's it! SEASON OVER!!! TRADE LITERALLY EVERYTHING!!!!

http://espn.go.com/blog/chicago/bears/post/_/id/4684336/lb-williams-carted-off-practice-field

Train wreck

Not a bad thing. What if Cutler plays reasonably well and they still lose 13 games? He signs here for less than what he would if they are contenders, the draft picks to put the defense back together are better. I'm ok with this. Basketball season starts in November anyway.

[Slaky]

DOOOOOOOOOOM!!!!!! That's it! SEASON OVER!!! TRADE LITERALLY EVERYTHING!!!!

http://espn.go.com/blog/chicago/bears/post/_/id/4684336/lb-williams-carted-off-practice-field

Train wreck

Not a bad thing. What if Cutler plays reasonably well and they still lose 13 games? He signs here for less than what he would if they are contenders, the draft picks to put the defense back together are better. I'm ok with this. Basketball season starts in November anyway.

I would be ok with it, too. Finishing in the 6-9 win range is the worst.

[CT III]

DOOOOOOOOOOM!!!!!! That's it! SEASON OVER!!! TRADE LITERALLY EVERYTHING!!!!

http://espn.go.com/blog/chicago/bears/post/_/id/4684336/lb-williams-carted-off-practice-field

Train wreck

Not a bad thing. What if Cutler plays reasonably well and they still lose 13 games? He signs here for less than what he would if they are contenders, the draft picks to put the defense back together are better. I'm ok with this. Basketball season starts in November anyway.

What?  No way does Mr. Cutler end up giving a discount.  If things go sideways he'll probably end up with the franchise tag (which is fine).

[Internet Apex]

DOOOOOOOOOOM!!!!!! That's it! SEASON OVER!!! TRADE LITERALLY EVERYTHING!!!!

http://espn.go.com/blog/chicago/bears/post/_/id/4684336/lb-williams-carted-off-practice-field

Train wreck

Not a bad thing. What if Cutler plays reasonably well and they still lose 13 games? He signs here for less than what he would if they are contenders, the draft picks to put the defense back together are better. I'm ok with this. Basketball season starts in November anyway.

What?  No way does Mr. Cutler end up giving a discount.  If things go sideways he'll probably end up with the franchise tag (which is fine).

I'm not suggesting a discount on his part but I feel like the market for him would be slightly better if they go deep in the playoffs. Maybe this is wrong of me, given Romo's contract. I don't know. What if he gets hurt and shows them nothing? The team goes 1-15 and has the No. 1 pick. That would be interesting. I think the real trainwreck in this scenario is 8-8 with Cutler doing reasonably well and the defense falling completely apart. Cutler getting franchised, forcing them to pay Melton, get a shitty draft position and start completely over in football hell. But anyway. Basketball. November. 3-Peat. Hockee etc. Fuck it.

[CT III]

DOOOOOOOOOOM!!!!!! That's it! SEASON OVER!!! TRADE LITERALLY EVERYTHING!!!!

http://espn.go.com/blog/chicago/bears/post/_/id/4684336/lb-williams-carted-off-practice-field

Train wreck

Not a bad thing. What if Cutler plays reasonably well and they still lose 13 games? He signs here for less than what he would if they are contenders, the draft picks to put the defense back together are better. I'm ok with this. Basketball season starts in November anyway.

What?  No way does Mr. Cutler end up giving a discount.  If things go sideways he'll probably end up with the franchise tag (which is fine).

I'm not suggesting a discount on his part but I feel like the market for him would be slightly better if they go deep in the playoffs. Maybe this is wrong of me, given Romo's contract. I don't know. What if he gets hurt and shows them nothing? The team goes 1-15 and has the No. 1 pick. That would be interesting. I think the real trainwreck in this scenario is 8-8 with Cutler doing reasonably well and the defense falling completely apart. Cutler getting franchised, forcing them to pay Melton, get a shitty draft position and start completely over in football hell. But anyway. Basketball. November. 3-Peat. Hockee etc. Fuck it.

I guess I'm just looking at some of the turds who are penciled in at starting QB this year and thinking some team would be willing to break the bank if Cutler hit the open market.

[Internet Apex]

DOOOOOOOOOOM!!!!!! That's it! SEASON OVER!!! TRADE LITERALLY EVERYTHING!!!!

http://espn.go.com/blog/chicago/bears/post/_/id/4684336/lb-williams-carted-off-practice-field

Train wreck

Not a bad thing. What if Cutler plays reasonably well and they still lose 13 games? He signs here for less than what he would if they are contenders, the draft picks to put the defense back together are better. I'm ok with this. Basketball season starts in November anyway.

What?  No way does Mr. Cutler end up giving a discount.  If things go sideways he'll probably end up with the franchise tag (which is fine).

I'm not suggesting a discount on his part but I feel like the market for him would be slightly better if they go deep in the playoffs. Maybe this is wrong of me, given Romo's contract. I don't know. What if he gets hurt and shows them nothing? The team goes 1-15 and has the No. 1 pick. That would be interesting. I think the real trainwreck in this scenario is 8-8 with Cutler doing reasonably well and the defense falling completely apart. Cutler getting franchised, forcing them to pay Melton, get a shitty draft position and start completely over in football hell. But anyway. Basketball. November. 3-Peat. Hockee etc. Fuck it.

I guess I'm just looking at some of the turds who are penciled in at starting QB this year and thinking some team would be willing to break the bank if Cutler hit the open market.

I thought everybody had agreed that he was terrible and would never, ever amount to shit.

[Quality Start Machine]

DOOOOOOOOOOM!!!!!! That's it! SEASON OVER!!! TRADE LITERALLY EVERYTHING!!!!

http://espn.go.com/blog/chicago/bears/post/_/id/4684336/lb-williams-carted-off-practice-field

Train wreck

Not a bad thing. What if Cutler plays reasonably well and they still lose 13 games? He signs here for less than what he would if they are contenders, the draft picks to put the defense back together are better. I'm ok with this. Basketball season starts in November anyway.

What?  No way does Mr. Cutler end up giving a discount.  If things go sideways he'll probably end up with the franchise tag (which is fine).

I'm not suggesting a discount on his part but I feel like the market for him would be slightly better if they go deep in the playoffs. Maybe this is wrong of me, given Romo's contract. I don't know. What if he gets hurt and shows them nothing? The team goes 1-15 and has the No. 1 pick. That would be interesting. I think the real trainwreck in this scenario is 8-8 with Cutler doing reasonably well and the defense falling completely apart. Cutler getting franchised, forcing them to pay Melton, get a shitty draft position and start completely over in football hell. But anyway. Basketball. November. 3-Peat. Hockee etc. Fuck it.

I guess I'm just looking at some of the turds who are penciled in at starting QB this year and thinking some team would be willing to break the bank if Cutler hit the open market.

I thought everybody had agreed that he was terrible and would never, ever amount to shit.

Next year he'll back up Tebow in New England after Brady gets hit by lightning.

[SKO]

http://t.co/9vjpKb1iQB Emstink is wonderful, says Bill Barnwell.

Great article, but also totally PLAGIARIZED from this brilliant mind: http://t.co/vRMzNojf71

[J. Walter Weatherman]

Great article, but also totally PLAGIARIZED from this brilliant mind: http://t.co/vRMzNojf71

Have you considered getting yourself a blog to publish that stuff on?

[Gilgamesh]

Que SKO's preseason butthurt or preemptive Cutleboner?

http://sports.yahoo.com/blogs/nfl-shutdown-corner/32-1-presenting-shutdown-corner-preseason-power-rankings-151028053.html

[World's #1 Astros Fan]

http://t.co/9vjpKb1iQB Emstink is wonderful, says Bill Barnwell.

Great article, but also totally PLAGIARIZED from this brilliant mind: http://t.co/vRMzNojf71

The Bears had been surpassed in the division they used to rule by the Vikings

The NFC Central had only been around since 1967, during which time the Bears had gone 38-72 at the time of the Finks hire.

/late-to-the-party-pedant

[CubFaninHydePark]

I feel like I'm betraying SKO here because we usually see eye to eye on things.

Anyone else getting a train wreck vibe from this team?

I'm getting a "this team is going to put a fuckload of points on the board" vibe.

The schedule is extremely rough-looking on paper. The perception of it will change dramatically between now and October, but that's one cause for concern.

If it is a trainwreck and everybody is in the last year of their deals, I don't think that's a terrible thing really. It would be far worse if they finish with 6-9 wins. If they don't make the playoffs, sign me up for trainwreck/rebuild. No need to firebarn either. Most of these guys served the team admirably and will be remembered somewhat fondly as they decline rapidly in mental and physical health before dying young.

I don't think the schedule is that rough - we drew the right home/road splits for the AFC North, and I like Cincy in Week 1 at home, rather than later in the season when they'll have really had a chance to get in sync and be the frontrunners for the AFC North.  The Steelers are going to be down this season.  And drawing Baltimore at home is really nice - Baltimore's home/road splits last season were insane (two miraculous special-teams TDs at Denver were a fluke to get them to the Super Bowl, and then they still damn near pissed it away.  They needed another miracle to win at San Diego.  Oh, and I'm so not sold on Joe Flacco.  Dave Wannstedt was right, he's no Tyler Palko.  But really, I'm not sold on Flacco as a franchise QB.)

Also, when 2 of your other 3 non-division road games are @ Philly and @ St. Louis, what's not to like?  Especially since Philly comes right before Christmas when the Eagles will probably be so demoralized and terrible that Alabama could beat them in the BCS title game.  RGIII may be a one-legged QB in an ass-kicking contest by Week 7, and Kurt Cousins and Mike Shannahan don't really scare me.  So of the non-division road games, this schedule really worked out well.

AP can be stopped, especially now that Ponder has lost Harvin and replaced him with an aging Greg Jennings.  Detroit is still Detroit, and they may have mortgaged Stafford in order to pay the rent for landing on Boardwalk with a hotel by week 4.  We get the Aints, Giants and Cowboys at home.  It's awesome that our only road game against the NFC East is against its weakest team.  Fer chrissakes, we're at Green Bay after our bye week.

What am I missing?  Given the teams on the schedule, everything came up Millhouse.

[SKO]

I feel like I'm betraying SKO here because we usually see eye to eye on things.

Anyone else getting a train wreck vibe from this team?

I'm getting a "this team is going to put a fuckload of points on the board" vibe.

The schedule is extremely rough-looking on paper. The perception of it will change dramatically between now and October, but that's one cause for concern.

If it is a trainwreck and everybody is in the last year of their deals, I don't think that's a terrible thing really. It would be far worse if they finish with 6-9 wins. If they don't make the playoffs, sign me up for trainwreck/rebuild. No need to firebarn either. Most of these guys served the team admirably and will be remembered somewhat fondly as they decline rapidly in mental and physical health before dying young.

I don't think the schedule is that rough - we drew the right home/road splits for the AFC North, and I like Cincy in Week 1 at home, rather than later in the season when they'll have really had a chance to get in sync and be the frontrunners for the AFC North.  The Steelers are going to be down this season.  And drawing Baltimore at home is really nice - Baltimore's home/road splits last season were insane (two miraculous special-teams TDs at Denver were a fluke to get them to the Super Bowl, and then they still damn near pissed it away.  They needed another miracle to win at San Diego.  Oh, and I'm so not sold on Joe Flacco.  Dave Wannstedt was right, he's no Tyler Palko.  But really, I'm not sold on Flacco as a franchise QB.)

Also, when 2 of your other 3 non-division road games are @ Philly and @ St. Louis, what's not to like?  Especially since Philly comes right before Christmas when the Eagles will probably be so demoralized and terrible that Alabama could beat them in the BCS title game.  RGIII may be a one-legged QB in an ass-kicking contest by Week 7, and Kurt Cousins and Mike Shannahan don't really scare me.  So of the non-division road games, this schedule really worked out well.

AP can be stopped, especially now that Ponder has lost Harvin and replaced him with an aging Greg Jennings.  Detroit is still Detroit, and they may have mortgaged Stafford in order to pay the rent for landing on Boardwalk with a hotel by week 4.  We get the Aints, Giants and Cowboys at home.  It's awesome that our only road game against the NFC East is against its weakest team.  Fer chrissakes, we're at Green Bay after our bye week.

What am I missing?  Given the teams on the schedule, everything came up Millhouse.

You're planning on doing a lot of travelling this year.

I just don't sweat balls about schedules, period, because in the NFL half of the playoff teams are new each year and it's impossible to figure out exactly which of those teams will still be threatening when that game actually comes around. Just going off last year's schedule, though, I find it amusing that our natural inferiority complex has Bears fans rating a 10-6 team with the #3 defense in the NFL below teams like the Steelers and the Giants and the Saints, all of whom were worse than that.

This team could go belly up, stranger things have happened. I just can't understand people who are so willing to write off the season already based on no logical premise. There's not a single part of the roster that isn't, on paper, upgraded this year. We should at least wait and let them earn our disappointment.

[Internet Apex]

I feel like I'm betraying SKO here because we usually see eye to eye on things.

Anyone else getting a train wreck vibe from this team?

I'm getting a "this team is going to put a fuckload of points on the board" vibe.

The schedule is extremely rough-looking on paper. The perception of it will change dramatically between now and October, but that's one cause for concern.

If it is a trainwreck and everybody is in the last year of their deals, I don't think that's a terrible thing really. It would be far worse if they finish with 6-9 wins. If they don't make the playoffs, sign me up for trainwreck/rebuild. No need to firebarn either. Most of these guys served the team admirably and will be remembered somewhat fondly as they decline rapidly in mental and physical health before dying young.

I don't think the schedule is that rough - we drew the right home/road splits for the AFC North, and I like Cincy in Week 1 at home, rather than later in the season when they'll have really had a chance to get in sync and be the frontrunners for the AFC North.  The Steelers are going to be down this season.  And drawing Baltimore at home is really nice - Baltimore's home/road splits last season were insane (two miraculous special-teams TDs at Denver were a fluke to get them to the Super Bowl, and then they still damn near pissed it away.  They needed another miracle to win at San Diego.  Oh, and I'm so not sold on Joe Flacco.  Dave Wannstedt was right, he's no Tyler Palko.  But really, I'm not sold on Flacco as a franchise QB.)

Also, when 2 of your other 3 non-division road games are @ Philly and @ St. Louis, what's not to like?  Especially since Philly comes right before Christmas when the Eagles will probably be so demoralized and terrible that Alabama could beat them in the BCS title game.  RGIII may be a one-legged QB in an ass-kicking contest by Week 7, and Kurt Cousins and Mike Shannahan don't really scare me.  So of the non-division road games, this schedule really worked out well.

AP can be stopped, especially now that Ponder has lost Harvin and replaced him with an aging Greg Jennings.  Detroit is still Detroit, and they may have mortgaged Stafford in order to pay the rent for landing on Boardwalk with a hotel by week 4.  We get the Aints, Giants and Cowboys at home.  It's awesome that our only road game against the NFC East is against its weakest team.  Fer chrissakes, we're at Green Bay after our bye week.

What am I missing?  Given the teams on the schedule, everything came up Millhouse.

You're planning on doing a lot of travelling this year.

I just don't sweat balls about schedules, period, because in the NFL half of the playoff teams are new each year and it's impossible to figure out exactly which of those teams will still be threatening when that game actually comes around. Just going off last year's schedule, though, I find it amusing that our natural inferiority complex has Bears fans rating a 10-6 team with the #3 defense in the NFL below teams like the Steelers and the Giants and the Saints, all of whom were worse than that.

This team could go belly up, stranger things have happened. I just can't understand people who are so willing to write off the season already based on no logical premise. There's not a single part of the roster that isn't, on paper, upgraded this year. We should at least wait and let them earn our disappointment.

I'm asking because I really don't know. How are the secondary and defensive lines upgraded this year? No matter who they added, the lynchpins of both groups (Peppers and Tillman) are a year older. They lost the defensive coaches who helped make them the top 3 defense they were. I don't understand how people can discount that factor in evaluating that defense's chances of being competent. Again, I know jack shit about all of this, as I've proven time and again. So I'm asking. How?

[Slaky]

I feel like I'm betraying SKO here because we usually see eye to eye on things.

Anyone else getting a train wreck vibe from this team?

I'm getting a "this team is going to put a fuckload of points on the board" vibe.

The schedule is extremely rough-looking on paper. The perception of it will change dramatically between now and October, but that's one cause for concern.

If it is a trainwreck and everybody is in the last year of their deals, I don't think that's a terrible thing really. It would be far worse if they finish with 6-9 wins. If they don't make the playoffs, sign me up for trainwreck/rebuild. No need to firebarn either. Most of these guys served the team admirably and will be remembered somewhat fondly as they decline rapidly in mental and physical health before dying young.

I don't think the schedule is that rough - we drew the right home/road splits for the AFC North, and I like Cincy in Week 1 at home, rather than later in the season when they'll have really had a chance to get in sync and be the frontrunners for the AFC North.  The Steelers are going to be down this season.  And drawing Baltimore at home is really nice - Baltimore's home/road splits last season were insane (two miraculous special-teams TDs at Denver were a fluke to get them to the Super Bowl, and then they still damn near pissed it away.  They needed another miracle to win at San Diego.  Oh, and I'm so not sold on Joe Flacco.  Dave Wannstedt was right, he's no Tyler Palko.  But really, I'm not sold on Flacco as a franchise QB.)

Also, when 2 of your other 3 non-division road games are @ Philly and @ St. Louis, what's not to like?  Especially since Philly comes right before Christmas when the Eagles will probably be so demoralized and terrible that Alabama could beat them in the BCS title game.  RGIII may be a one-legged QB in an ass-kicking contest by Week 7, and Kurt Cousins and Mike Shannahan don't really scare me.  So of the non-division road games, this schedule really worked out well.

AP can be stopped, especially now that Ponder has lost Harvin and replaced him with an aging Greg Jennings.  Detroit is still Detroit, and they may have mortgaged Stafford in order to pay the rent for landing on Boardwalk with a hotel by week 4.  We get the Aints, Giants and Cowboys at home.  It's awesome that our only road game against the NFC East is against its weakest team.  Fer chrissakes, we're at Green Bay after our bye week.

What am I missing?  Given the teams on the schedule, everything came up Millhouse.

You're planning on doing a lot of travelling this year.

I just don't sweat balls about schedules, period, because in the NFL half of the playoff teams are new each year and it's impossible to figure out exactly which of those teams will still be threatening when that game actually comes around. Just going off last year's schedule, though, I find it amusing that our natural inferiority complex has Bears fans rating a 10-6 team with the #3 defense in the NFL below teams like the Steelers and the Giants and the Saints, all of whom were worse than that.

This team could go belly up, stranger things have happened. I just can't understand people who are so willing to write off the season already based on no logical premise. There's not a single part of the roster that isn't, on paper, upgraded this year. We should at least wait and let them earn our disappointment.

I'm asking because I really don't know. How are the secondary and defensive lines upgraded this year? No matter who they added, the lynchpins of both groups (Peppers and Tillman) are a year older. They lost the defensive coaches who helped make them the top 3 defense they were. I don't understand how people can discount that factor in evaluating that defense's chances of being competent. Again, I know jack shit about all of this, as I've proven time and again. So I'm asking. How?

I also don't see how they're better on defense. Worse? Not necessarily. But I don't see upgrades.