Jake Arrieta 2017 Salary Drive Sploogefest

[Bort]

By far, the most effective insult Pirates fans have against the Cubs is that we're overly excited about a third-place team. Devastating.

Yeah, they're really nailing us to the wall.

[Shooter]

Jake Arrieta has pendulous balls. https://twitter.com/JArrieta34/status/650799923017945088

I have just spontaneously ejaculated sperm into my undergarments.

And the Pirates Twittersphere has exploded with glorious asshurt.  Everyone wins.

AHAHAHAHAHAHA!

I love how boastful Pirates fans are of their playoff experience giving them the edge, when 50% of their playoff experience is losing the wildcard game at home.

MLB let them play some more games after the won the wild card game in 2013.

[InternetApex]

Jake Arrieta has pendulous balls. https://twitter.com/JArrieta34/status/650799923017945088

I have just spontaneously ejaculated sperm into my undergarments.

And the Pirates Twittersphere has exploded with glorious asshurt.  Everyone wins.

AHAHAHAHAHAHA!

I love how boastful Pirates fans are of their playoff experience giving them the edge, when 50% of their playoff experience is losing the wildcard game at home.

MLB let them play some more games after the won the wild card game in 2013.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KjKRQ_OqCCw

[Saul Goodman]

Some Pissburgh nobody named David Whatever is trying to start a #WeMatter hashtag to intimidate Jake and soothe their butthurt. (Even though Jake was saying their hope doesn't matter, not them personally, but it's Pissburgh we're talking about.) Our hero's response:

David. Bring out all the reinforcements. I need it LOUD.

I need new pants, please.

[Saul Goodman]

DPD. Jake's confidence is already inspiring some choice takes.

Doesn't the statute of limitations on playoff trash-talking expire a century after a franchise's last championship, @JArrieta34? #1908

Amazing it took this long for someone to realize 1908 could be used as an insult, really. Dejan is a pioneer. (It also makes no sense, so there's that.)

[Shooter]

DPD. Jake's confidence is already inspiring some choice takes.

Doesn't the statute of limitations on playoff trash-talking expire a century after a franchise's last championship, @JArrieta34? #1908

Amazing it took this long for someone to realize 1908 could be used as an insult, really. Dejan is a pioneer. (It also makes no sense, so there's that.)

Isn't it sort of weird for a beat writer to get involved in something like this?

[Canadouche]

Some Pissburgh nobody named David Whatever is trying to start a #WeMatter hashtag to intimidate Jake and soothe their butthurt. (Even though Jake was saying their hope doesn't matter, not them personally, but it's Pissburgh we're talking about.) Our hero's response:

David. Bring out all the reinforcements. I need it LOUD.

I need new pants, please.

This is one of those times when I really wish I could fastforward my life. Wednesday night can't get here fast enough.

[Quality Start Machine]

he's fucking striking out 23 Pirates.

[Saul Goodman]

DPD. Jake's confidence is already inspiring some choice takes.

Doesn't the statute of limitations on playoff trash-talking expire a century after a franchise's last championship, @JArrieta34? #1908

Amazing it took this long for someone to realize 1908 could be used as an insult, really. Dejan is a pioneer. (It also makes no sense, so there's that.)

Isn't it sort of weird for a beat writer to get involved in something like this?

I thought the same thing.  I'm sure it's happened but I can't think of any right now.  I remember this, but that's it at the moment.



Leaves out the fact that only one team did it on purpose.

[World's #1 Astros Fan]

DPD. Jake's confidence is already inspiring some choice takes.

Doesn't the statute of limitations on playoff trash-talking expire a century after a franchise's last championship, @JArrieta34? #1908

Amazing it took this long for someone to realize 1908 could be used as an insult, really. Dejan is a pioneer. (It also makes no sense, so there's that.)

Isn't it sort of weird for a beat writer to get involved in something like this?

I hope this has been pointed out on teh Twits, jesus what a clown.

[PenFoe]

Jonah Keri's final ballot.

He's got Jake 3rd for Cy Young and 4th for MVP. 

[Tonker]

Jonah Keri's final ballot.

He's got Jake 3rd for Cy Young and 4th for MVP. 

Jonah Keri is a fucking moron.  Except, you know... when he's predicting three Cubs in the MVP top ten.

[SKO]

Jonah Keri's final ballot.

He's got Jake 3rd for Cy Young and 4th for MVP. 

Jonah Keri is a fucking moron.  Except, you know... when he's predicting three Cubs in the MVP top ten.

I wouldn't put Greinke over Jake but I can't quibble with Kershaw.

[Tonker]

Jonah Keri's final ballot.

He's got Jake 3rd for Cy Young and 4th for MVP. 

Jonah Keri is a fucking moron.  Except, you know... when he's predicting three Cubs in the MVP top ten.

I wouldn't put Greinke over Jake but I can't quibble with Kershaw.

ShutupshutupshutUP!

[Brownie]

DPD. Jake's confidence is already inspiring some choice takes.

Doesn't the statute of limitations on playoff trash-talking expire a century after a franchise's last championship, @JArrieta34? #1908

Amazing it took this long for someone to realize 1908 could be used as an insult, really. Dejan is a pioneer. (It also makes no sense, so there's that.)

Isn't it sort of weird for a beat writer to get involved in something like this?

I thought the same thing.  I'm sure it's happened but I can't think of any right now.  I remember this, but that's it at the moment.



Leaves out the fact that only one team did it on purpose.

Just getting to it now, but Maddon DID NOT LEAVE OUT THE FACT THAT MATT HOLLIDAY was hit in the head. She sucks and has no credibility.