Jake Arrieta 2017 Salary Drive Sploogefest

[InternetApex]

I take back what I said, and reiterate: Jake Arrieta is the greatest Cubs pitcher I've ever seen. Greg Maddux can suck it.

THIS.

Greg Maddux is the best Braves pitcher I've ever seen. Take his fucking retired number down and quit pretending like it belongs there you fucking dipshits.

[Brownie]

I take back what I said, and reiterate: Jake Arrieta is the greatest Cubs pitcher I've ever seen. Greg Maddux can suck it.

THIS.

Greg Maddux is the best Braves pitcher I've ever seen. Take his fucking retired number down and quit pretending like it belongs there you fucking dipshits.

Warren Spahn wants a word with you.

[Oleg]

I take back what I said, and reiterate: Jake Arrieta is the greatest Cubs pitcher I've ever seen. Greg Maddux can suck it.

THIS.

Greg Maddux is the best Braves pitcher I've ever seen. Take his fucking retired number down and quit pretending like it belongs there you fucking dipshits.

Warren Spahn wants a word with you.

I expected to get all indignant about this post.  On a per year basis, Maddux was amazing.  But Spahn pitched for many more years with The Braves than Maddux had.

[InternetApex]

I take back what I said, and reiterate: Jake Arrieta is the greatest Cubs pitcher I've ever seen. Greg Maddux can suck it.

THIS.

Greg Maddux is the best Braves pitcher I've ever seen. Take his fucking retired number down and quit pretending like it belongs there you fucking dipshits.

Warren Spahn wants a word with you.

I expected to get all indignant about this post.  On a per year basis, Maddux was amazing.  But Spahn pitched for many more years with The Braves than Maddux had.

I never saw Warren Spahn tho, so...

I did call his wife up on the phone and talk to her once. Swear to God. I used to conduct surveys for Cummins Engine Co. and the Spahns had a motor home with a Signature 600 diesel under the hood. Those were so cutting edge they blew the rest of the heavy duty diesel competition out of the market. Anyway, Spahn had one of the first ones. He was on my list to call. I'm sure it was him because of his home address and whatever. Anyway. I called. His wife answered and that old lady was fucking pissed that anybody had their number and called them. She/he/they did not participate in that very important customer satisfaction assessment. No they did not.

[flannj]

I take back what I said, and reiterate: Jake Arrieta is the greatest Cubs pitcher I've ever seen. Greg Maddux can suck it.

THIS.

Greg Maddux is the best Braves pitcher I've ever seen. Take his fucking retired number down and quit pretending like it belongs there you fucking dipshits.

Warren Spahn wants a word with you.

I expected to get all indignant about this post.  On a per year basis, Maddux was amazing.  But Spahn pitched for many more years with The Braves than Maddux had.

I never saw Warren Spahn tho, so...

I did call his wife up on the phone and talk to her once. Swear to God. I used to conduct surveys for Cummins Engine Co. and the Spahns had a motor home with a Signature 600 diesel under the hood. Those were so cutting edge they blew the rest of the heavy duty diesel competition out of the market. Anyway, Spahn had one of the first ones. He was on my list to call. I'm sure it was him because of his home address and whatever. Anyway. I called. His wife answered and that old lady was fucking pissed that anybody had their number and called them. She/he/they did not participate in that very important customer satisfaction assessment. No they did not.

I love this Pexstory.

[Quality Start Machine]

I take back what I said, and reiterate: Jake Arrieta is the greatest Cubs pitcher I've ever seen. Greg Maddux can suck it.

THIS.

Greg Maddux is the best Braves pitcher I've ever seen. Take his fucking retired number down and quit pretending like it belongs there you fucking dipshits.

Warren Spahn wants a word with you.

I expected to get all indignant about this post.  On a per year basis, Maddux was amazing.  But Spahn pitched for many more years with The Braves than Maddux had.

I never saw Warren Spahn tho, so...

I did call his wife up on the phone and talk to her once. Swear to God. I used to conduct surveys for Cummins Engine Co. and the Spahns had a motor home with a Signature 600 diesel under the hood. Those were so cutting edge they blew the rest of the heavy duty diesel competition out of the market. Anyway, Spahn had one of the first ones. He was on my list to call. I'm sure it was him because of his home address and whatever. Anyway. I called. His wife answered and that old lady was fucking pissed that anybody had their number and called them. She/he/they did not participate in that very important customer satisfaction assessment. No they did not.

I love this Pexstory.

And that's why Ken Burns left Spahn out of "Baseball".

[CBStew]

I take back what I said, and reiterate: Jake Arrieta is the greatest Cubs pitcher I've ever seen. Greg Maddux can suck it.

THIS.

Greg Maddux is the best Braves pitcher I've ever seen. Take his fucking retired number down and quit pretending like it belongs there you fucking dipshits.

Warren Spahn wants a word with you.

I expected to get all indignant about this post.  On a per year basis, Maddux was amazing.  But Spahn pitched for many more years with The Braves than Maddux had.

I never saw Warren Spahn tho, so...

I did call his wife up on the phone and talk to her once. Swear to God. I used to conduct surveys for Cummins Engine Co. and the Spahns had a motor home with a Signature 600 diesel under the hood. Those were so cutting edge they blew the rest of the heavy duty diesel competition out of the market. Anyway, Spahn had one of the first ones. He was on my list to call. I'm sure it was him because of his home address and whatever. Anyway. I called. His wife answered and that old lady was fucking pissed that anybody had their number and called them. She/he/they did not participate in that very important customer satisfaction assessment. No they did not.

Call me at dinner (or any time) with a survey and you will get the same reaction from me.  AND STAY OFF MY LAWN!

[ChuckD]

I take back what I said, and reiterate: Jake Arrieta is the greatest Cubs pitcher I've ever seen. Greg Maddux can suck it.

THIS.

Greg Maddux is the best Braves pitcher I've ever seen. Take his fucking retired number down and quit pretending like it belongs there you fucking dipshits.

Warren Spahn wants a word with you.

I expected to get all indignant about this post.  On a per year basis, Maddux was amazing.  But Spahn pitched for many more years with The Braves than Maddux had.

I never saw Warren Spahn tho, so...

I did call his wife up on the phone and talk to her once. Swear to God. I used to conduct surveys for Cummins Engine Co. and the Spahns had a motor home with a Signature 600 diesel under the hood. Those were so cutting edge they blew the rest of the heavy duty diesel competition out of the market. Anyway, Spahn had one of the first ones. He was on my list to call. I'm sure it was him because of his home address and whatever. Anyway. I called. His wife answered and that old lady was fucking pissed that anybody had their number and called them. She/he/they did not participate in that very important customer satisfaction assessment. No they did not.

I once received a call from Amaury Telemaco. I don't know if it was the Amaury Telemaco, but ... how many could there possibly be? I can't remember particulars, but I think he wanted to know when his car parts were going to be delivered.

I also called Eric Crouch's (I assume) mom and tried to get her to switch to MCI long distance. This was right around when the Worldcom scandal was happening. I don't think she switched. It was a woman with a last name of Crouch who lived on "7 Eric Crouch" Lane/Place/Way somewhere around Omaha.

[/penstory]

[Bort]

I take back what I said, and reiterate: Jake Arrieta is the greatest Cubs pitcher I've ever seen. Greg Maddux can suck it.

THIS.

Greg Maddux is the best Braves pitcher I've ever seen. Take his fucking retired number down and quit pretending like it belongs there you fucking dipshits.

Warren Spahn wants a word with you.

I expected to get all indignant about this post.  On a per year basis, Maddux was amazing.  But Spahn pitched for many more years with The Braves than Maddux had.

I never saw Warren Spahn tho, so...

I did call his wife up on the phone and talk to her once. Swear to God. I used to conduct surveys for Cummins Engine Co. and the Spahns had a motor home with a Signature 600 diesel under the hood. Those were so cutting edge they blew the rest of the heavy duty diesel competition out of the market. Anyway, Spahn had one of the first ones. He was on my list to call. I'm sure it was him because of his home address and whatever. Anyway. I called. His wife answered and that old lady was fucking pissed that anybody had their number and called them. She/he/they did not participate in that very important customer satisfaction assessment. No they did not.

I once received a call from Amaury Telemaco. I don't know if it was the Amaury Telemaco, but ... how many could there possibly be? I can't remember particulars, but I think he wanted to know when his car parts were going to be delivered.

I also called Eric Crouch's (I assume) mom and tried to get her to switch to MCI long distance. This was right around when the Worldcom scandal was happening. I don't think she switched. It was a woman with a last name of Crouch who lived on "7 Eric Crouch" Lane/Place/Way somewhere around Omaha.

[/penstory]

I briefly worked at an eBay storefront fly-by-night company about 10 years ago, where I sold Mike Ditka's wife's golf clubs.

Damn it, this PenStory sucks worse than a real one.

[Oleg]

This is from Friday...I just read it now.  But if it doesn't give you the warm fuzzies in your underpants, fuck off.

[Tonker]

I take back what I said, and reiterate: Jake Arrieta is the greatest Cubs pitcher I've ever seen. Greg Maddux can suck it.

THIS.

Greg Maddux is the best Braves pitcher I've ever seen. Take his fucking retired number down and quit pretending like it belongs there you fucking dipshits.

Warren Spahn wants a word with you.

I expected to get all indignant about this post.  On a per year basis, Maddux was amazing.  But Spahn pitched for many more years with The Braves than Maddux had.

I never saw Warren Spahn tho, so...

I did call his wife up on the phone and talk to her once. Swear to God. I used to conduct surveys for Cummins Engine Co. and the Spahns had a motor home with a Signature 600 diesel under the hood. Those were so cutting edge they blew the rest of the heavy duty diesel competition out of the market. Anyway, Spahn had one of the first ones. He was on my list to call. I'm sure it was him because of his home address and whatever. Anyway. I called. His wife answered and that old lady was fucking pissed that anybody had their number and called them. She/he/they did not participate in that very important customer satisfaction assessment. No they did not.

I once received a call from Amaury Telemaco. I don't know if it was the Amaury Telemaco, but ... how many could there possibly be? I can't remember particulars, but I think he wanted to know when his car parts were going to be delivered.

I also called Eric Crouch's (I assume) mom and tried to get her to switch to MCI long distance. This was right around when the Worldcom scandal was happening. I don't think she switched. It was a woman with a last name of Crouch who lived on "7 Eric Crouch" Lane/Place/Way somewhere around Omaha.

[/penstory]

I briefly worked at an eBay storefront fly-by-night company about 10 years ago, where I sold Mike Ditka's wife's golf clubs.

Damn it, this PenStory sucks worse than a real one.

I once spoke to Lawrie McMenemy on the phone.  I was calling Southampton FC about tickets, and I think he picked up to make an outgoing call just as I rang in.  Safe to say that whoever it was he was expecting to talk to, it wasn't me.  He did ask me who I was, but even when I told him, it didn't really seem to clear anything up for him.  I think he was a bit confused, to be honest.  Not by my phone call, particularly: just in general.

[Oleg]

I take back what I said, and reiterate: Jake Arrieta is the greatest Cubs pitcher I've ever seen. Greg Maddux can suck it.

THIS.

Greg Maddux is the best Braves pitcher I've ever seen. Take his fucking retired number down and quit pretending like it belongs there you fucking dipshits.

Warren Spahn wants a word with you.

I expected to get all indignant about this post.  On a per year basis, Maddux was amazing.  But Spahn pitched for many more years with The Braves than Maddux had.

I never saw Warren Spahn tho, so...

I did call his wife up on the phone and talk to her once. Swear to God. I used to conduct surveys for Cummins Engine Co. and the Spahns had a motor home with a Signature 600 diesel under the hood. Those were so cutting edge they blew the rest of the heavy duty diesel competition out of the market. Anyway, Spahn had one of the first ones. He was on my list to call. I'm sure it was him because of his home address and whatever. Anyway. I called. His wife answered and that old lady was fucking pissed that anybody had their number and called them. She/he/they did not participate in that very important customer satisfaction assessment. No they did not.

I once received a call from Amaury Telemaco. I don't know if it was the Amaury Telemaco, but ... how many could there possibly be? I can't remember particulars, but I think he wanted to know when his car parts were going to be delivered.

I also called Eric Crouch's (I assume) mom and tried to get her to switch to MCI long distance. This was right around when the Worldcom scandal was happening. I don't think she switched. It was a woman with a last name of Crouch who lived on "7 Eric Crouch" Lane/Place/Way somewhere around Omaha.

[/penstory]

I briefly worked at an eBay storefront fly-by-night company about 10 years ago, where I sold Mike Ditka's wife's golf clubs.

Damn it, this PenStory sucks worse than a real one.

I once spoke to Lawrie McMenemy on the phone.  I was calling Southampton FC about tickets, and I think he picked up to make an outgoing call just as I rang in.  Safe to say that whoever it was he was expecting to talk to, it wasn't me.  He did ask me who I was, but even when I told him, it didn't really seem to clear anything up for him.  I think he was a bit confused, to be honest.  Not by my phone call, particularly: just in general.

I assume a 'McMenemy" is a Irish male enemy.

[SKO]

This is from Friday...I just read it now.  But if it doesn't give you the warm fuzzies in your underpants, fuck off.

This article by Trueblood cites that article: http://wrigleyville.locals.baseballprospectus.com/2016/04/21/can-jake-arrieta-keep-this-up-data-instead-of-history-might-hold-the-answer/ and is actually really good.

[Chuck to Chuck]

I take back what I said, and reiterate: Jake Arrieta is the greatest Cubs pitcher I've ever seen. Greg Maddux can suck it.

THIS.

Greg Maddux is the best Braves pitcher I've ever seen. Take his fucking retired number down and quit pretending like it belongs there you fucking dipshits.

Warren Spahn wants a word with you.

I expected to get all indignant about this post.  On a per year basis, Maddux was amazing.  But Spahn pitched for many more years with The Braves than Maddux had.

I never saw Warren Spahn tho, so...

I did call his wife up on the phone and talk to her once. Swear to God. I used to conduct surveys for Cummins Engine Co. and the Spahns had a motor home with a Signature 600 diesel under the hood. Those were so cutting edge they blew the rest of the heavy duty diesel competition out of the market. Anyway, Spahn had one of the first ones. He was on my list to call. I'm sure it was him because of his home address and whatever. Anyway. I called. His wife answered and that old lady was fucking pissed that anybody had their number and called them. She/he/they did not participate in that very important customer satisfaction assessment. No they did not.

I once received a call from Amaury Telemaco. I don't know if it was the Amaury Telemaco, but ... how many could there possibly be? I can't remember particulars, but I think he wanted to know when his car parts were going to be delivered.

I also called Eric Crouch's (I assume) mom and tried to get her to switch to MCI long distance. This was right around when the Worldcom scandal was happening. I don't think she switched. It was a woman with a last name of Crouch who lived on "7 Eric Crouch" Lane/Place/Way somewhere around Omaha.

[/penstory]

I briefly worked at an eBay storefront fly-by-night company about 10 years ago, where I sold Mike Ditka's wife's golf clubs.

Damn it, this PenStory sucks worse than a real one.

I once spoke to Lawrie McMenemy on the phone.  I was calling Southampton FC about tickets, and I think he picked up to make an outgoing call just as I rang in.  Safe to say that whoever it was he was expecting to talk to, it wasn't me.  He did ask me who I was, but even when I told him, it didn't really seem to clear anything up for him.  I think he was a bit confused, to be honest.  Not by my phone call, particularly: just in general.

I assume a 'McMenemy" is a Irish male enemy.

I used to work in Deerfield at Service Merchandise, right next to the Multiplex where the Bulls worked out. I once sold Mike Smrek an answering machine. Also waited on Scottie Pippen and Dallas Green (when I asked, "Can I help you"? He said "Not right now." Another customer said to him, "You did enough. You signed Sutcliffe." Pretty sure he was talking to Green). Also, while subbing in the Merchandise Pick Up area, I helped an 8 months pregnant Kim Singletary load two chaise lounge chairs into the back seat of her two door Cadillac Riviera.  That was hard because there were two huge watermelons in the rear foot wells.

Heady times!

[Brownie]

I take back what I said, and reiterate: Jake Arrieta is the greatest Cubs pitcher I've ever seen. Greg Maddux can suck it.

THIS.

Greg Maddux is the best Braves pitcher I've ever seen. Take his fucking retired number down and quit pretending like it belongs there you fucking dipshits.

Warren Spahn wants a word with you.

I expected to get all indignant about this post.  On a per year basis, Maddux was amazing.  But Spahn pitched for many more years with The Braves than Maddux had.

I never saw Warren Spahn tho, so...

I did call his wife up on the phone and talk to her once. Swear to God. I used to conduct surveys for Cummins Engine Co. and the Spahns had a motor home with a Signature 600 diesel under the hood. Those were so cutting edge they blew the rest of the heavy duty diesel competition out of the market. Anyway, Spahn had one of the first ones. He was on my list to call. I'm sure it was him because of his home address and whatever. Anyway. I called. His wife answered and that old lady was fucking pissed that anybody had their number and called them. She/he/they did not participate in that very important customer satisfaction assessment. No they did not.

I once received a call from Amaury Telemaco. I don't know if it was the Amaury Telemaco, but ... how many could there possibly be? I can't remember particulars, but I think he wanted to know when his car parts were going to be delivered.

I also called Eric Crouch's (I assume) mom and tried to get her to switch to MCI long distance. This was right around when the Worldcom scandal was happening. I don't think she switched. It was a woman with a last name of Crouch who lived on "7 Eric Crouch" Lane/Place/Way somewhere around Omaha.

[/penstory]

I briefly worked at an eBay storefront fly-by-night company about 10 years ago, where I sold Mike Ditka's wife's golf clubs.

Damn it, this PenStory sucks worse than a real one.

I once spoke to Lawrie McMenemy on the phone.  I was calling Southampton FC about tickets, and I think he picked up to make an outgoing call just as I rang in.  Safe to say that whoever it was he was expecting to talk to, it wasn't me.  He did ask me who I was, but even when I told him, it didn't really seem to clear anything up for him.  I think he was a bit confused, to be honest.  Not by my phone call, particularly: just in general.

I assume a 'McMenemy" is a Irish male enemy.

I used to work in Deerfield at Service Merchandise, right next to the Multiplex where the Bulls worked out. I once sold Mike Smrek an answering machine. Also waited on Scottie Pippen and Dallas Green (when I asked, "Can I help you"? He said "Not right now." Another customer said to him, "You did enough. You signed Sutcliffe." Pretty sure he was talking to Green). Also, while subbing in the Merchandise Pick Up area, I helped an 8 months pregnant Kim Singletary load two chaise lounge chairs into the back seat of her two door Cadillac Riviera.  That was hard because there were two huge watermelons in the rear foot wells.

Heady times!

Dallas Green would have loved you, Chuck.