Systems of Football: The All-Purpose Bears Game Thread

[Saul Goodman]

Cutler is out four weeks

Intrepid Readers: Meatballs

[World's #1 Astros Fan]

Cutler is out four weeks per the internet, television and the radio on my desk. Listening to the TrEmstink press conferences, I'm convinced that nothing is fucked here and the Bears are totally going to rip Green Bay a new asshole in two weeks.

Probably just drinking the anti-Slaky kool-aid here, but I like to think that yesterday will turn out to represent the nadir of the Trestman era.

*chest bumps Apex*

[SKO]

Cutler is out four weeks per the internet, television and the radio on my desk. Listening to the TrEmstink press conferences, I'm convinced that nothing is fucked here and the Bears are totally going to rip Green Bay a new asshole in two weeks.

Probably just drinking the anti-Slaky kool-aid here, but I like to think that yesterday will turn out to represent the nadir of the Trestman era.

*chest bumps Apex*

In Slaky's defense, this team is a trainwreck, although I somehow doubt he meant "EVERY ONE WILL GET HURT OR DIE" when he said that.

[World's #1 Astros Fan]

Cutler is out four weeks per the internet, television and the radio on my desk. Listening to the TrEmstink press conferences, I'm convinced that nothing is fucked here and the Bears are totally going to rip Green Bay a new asshole in two weeks.

Probably just drinking the anti-Slaky kool-aid here, but I like to think that yesterday will turn out to represent the nadir of the Trestman era.

*chest bumps Apex*

In Slaky's defense, this team is a trainwreck, although I somehow doubt he meant "EVERY ONE WILL GET HURT OR DIE" when he said that.

Yeah now they're a trianwreck, thanks mostly to injuries but I don't think they were a trainwreck in August to the degree that would justify leaving the country for 6 weeks, returning only when it appeared that perhaps they weren't such a damn mess.

[SKO]

Cutler is out four weeks per the internet, television and the radio on my desk. Listening to the TrEmstink press conferences, I'm convinced that nothing is fucked here and the Bears are totally going to rip Green Bay a new asshole in two weeks.

Probably just drinking the anti-Slaky kool-aid here, but I like to think that yesterday will turn out to represent the nadir of the Trestman era.

*chest bumps Apex*

In Slaky's defense, this team is a trainwreck, although I somehow doubt he meant "EVERY ONE WILL GET HURT OR DIE" when he said that.

Yeah now they're a trianwreck, thanks mostly to injuries but I don't think they were a trainwreck in August to the degree that would justify leaving the country for 6 weeks, returning only when it appeared that perhaps they weren't such a damn mess.

If everyone is healthy I'd say this is an 11-5 team with a top ten offense and a bottom half defense. Where they're at now I would say 6-10 is likely.

[Chuck to Chuck]

Cutler is out four weeks per the internet, television and the radio on my desk. Listening to the TrEmstink press conferences, I'm convinced that nothing is fucked here and the Bears are totally going to rip Green Bay a new asshole in two weeks.

Probably just drinking the anti-Slaky kool-aid here, but I like to think that yesterday will turn out to represent the nadir of the Trestman era.

*chest bumps Apex*

In Slaky's defense, this team is a trainwreck, although I somehow doubt he meant "EVERY ONE WILL GET HURT OR DIE" when he said that.

That would create a lot of cap room.

[Internet Apex]

Cutler is out four weeks per the internet, television and the radio on my desk. Listening to the TrEmstink press conferences, I'm convinced that nothing is fucked here and the Bears are totally going to rip Green Bay a new asshole in two weeks.

Probably just drinking the anti-Slaky kool-aid here, but I like to think that yesterday will turn out to represent the nadir of the Trestman era.

*chest bumps Apex*

In Slaky's defense, this team is a trainwreck, although I somehow doubt he meant "EVERY ONE WILL GET HURT OR DIE" when he said that.

Yeah now they're a trianwreck, thanks mostly to injuries but I don't think they were a trainwreck in August to the degree that would justify leaving the country for 6 weeks, returning only when it appeared that perhaps they weren't such a damn mess.

It's not trainwreck if it continues to score points at this clip. The offense lost Cutler yesterday and still moved the ball in ways we've never seen from the Bears. We all talked about how old the defense was and how susceptible they were to season-altering injuries. But if Trestman is the coach he seems to be, this team has the foundation of a very good professional organization. Emery has brought in quality receivers and tight ends. He fixed the offensive line. He hired the right coach. Fix the defense? Yes please. Most of those guys are in the last year of their deals. In today's NFL you don't even need, nor can expect to build a dominant defense like the ones we grew up watching. You just need to hold an opposing team under 30 points and throw the ball all over the fucking field. Yay?

But that's not a trainwreck. The trainwreck would be that Trestman can't coach NFL offense, that he was some goofball stuck up in Canada because everybody knew he was incompetent. Or that Kyle Long couldn't play dead and none of the other signings on the O-Line panned out. If Martellus Bennett was another useless goof who other teams let go because he sucked stir-fried bunghole.

No, no, no. First year head coach. Roster in flux. Arrow pointing up. Bear the fuck down.

[SKO]

Cutler is out four weeks per the internet, television and the radio on my desk. Listening to the TrEmstink press conferences, I'm convinced that nothing is fucked here and the Bears are totally going to rip Green Bay a new asshole in two weeks.

Probably just drinking the anti-Slaky kool-aid here, but I like to think that yesterday will turn out to represent the nadir of the Trestman era.

*chest bumps Apex*

In Slaky's defense, this team is a trainwreck, although I somehow doubt he meant "EVERY ONE WILL GET HURT OR DIE" when he said that.

That would create a lot of cap room.

I no longer think cap room is an issue. Cutler should be back either at the Tag price or for a reduced price on an extension, and then all of the defensive FAs are either leaving or have played poorly enough that Phil can pretty much dictate what price they would return at, I think. My guess is still extend Cutler/Slauson and then see if Phil can drag the defense out of the bottom of the league as quickly as he did the offense given the chance to use all of his FA $ and draft picks on that side of the ball.

[Eli]

Cutler is out four weeks per the internet, television and the radio on my desk. Listening to the TrEmstink press conferences, I'm convinced that nothing is fucked here and the Bears are totally going to rip Green Bay a new asshole in two weeks.

Probably just drinking the anti-Slaky kool-aid here, but I like to think that yesterday will turn out to represent the nadir of the Trestman era.

*chest bumps Apex*

In Slaky's defense, this team is a trainwreck, although I somehow doubt he meant "EVERY ONE WILL GET HURT OR DIE" when he said that.

Yeah now they're a trianwreck, thanks mostly to injuries but I don't think they were a trainwreck in August to the degree that would justify leaving the country for 6 weeks, returning only when it appeared that perhaps they weren't such a damn mess.

I support this and would like all of us to begin a permanent Desipio Meme that Marc Trestman is why Slaky moved to Norway.

[SKO]

Cutler is out four weeks per the internet, television and the radio on my desk. Listening to the TrEmstink press conferences, I'm convinced that nothing is fucked here and the Bears are totally going to rip Green Bay a new asshole in two weeks.

Probably just drinking the anti-Slaky kool-aid here, but I like to think that yesterday will turn out to represent the nadir of the Trestman era.

*chest bumps Apex*

In Slaky's defense, this team is a trainwreck, although I somehow doubt he meant "EVERY ONE WILL GET HURT OR DIE" when he said that.

Yeah now they're a trianwreck, thanks mostly to injuries but I don't think they were a trainwreck in August to the degree that would justify leaving the country for 6 weeks, returning only when it appeared that perhaps they weren't such a damn mess.

I support this and would like all of us to begin a permanent Desipio Meme that Marc Trestman is why Slaky moved to Norway.

If we are going to salvage anything from this season, let it be this.

[CT III]

Cutler is out four weeks per the internet, television and the radio on my desk. Listening to the TrEmstink press conferences, I'm convinced that nothing is fucked here and the Bears are totally going to rip Green Bay a new asshole in two weeks.

Probably just drinking the anti-Slaky kool-aid here, but I like to think that yesterday will turn out to represent the nadir of the Trestman era.

*chest bumps Apex*

In Slaky's defense, this team is a trainwreck, although I somehow doubt he meant "EVERY ONE WILL GET HURT OR DIE" when he said that.

Yeah now they're a trianwreck, thanks mostly to injuries but I don't think they were a trainwreck in August to the degree that would justify leaving the country for 6 weeks, returning only when it appeared that perhaps they weren't such a damn mess.

I support this and would like all of us to begin a permanent Desipio Meme that Marc Trestman is why Slaky moved to Norway.

If we are going to salvage anything from this season, let it be this.

Is Trestman also the reason he moved back?

[SKO]

Cutler is out four weeks per the internet, television and the radio on my desk. Listening to the TrEmstink press conferences, I'm convinced that nothing is fucked here and the Bears are totally going to rip Green Bay a new asshole in two weeks.

Probably just drinking the anti-Slaky kool-aid here, but I like to think that yesterday will turn out to represent the nadir of the Trestman era.

*chest bumps Apex*

In Slaky's defense, this team is a trainwreck, although I somehow doubt he meant "EVERY ONE WILL GET HURT OR DIE" when he said that.

Yeah now they're a trianwreck, thanks mostly to injuries but I don't think they were a trainwreck in August to the degree that would justify leaving the country for 6 weeks, returning only when it appeared that perhaps they weren't such a damn mess.

I support this and would like all of us to begin a permanent Desipio Meme that Marc Trestman is why Slaky moved to Norway.

If we are going to salvage anything from this season, let it be this.

Is Trestman also the reason he moved back?

No, he didn't want to miss out on the launch of the as-yet-unnamed fourth Doritos Locos Taco.

[Saul Goodman]

Cutler is out four weeks per the internet, television and the radio on my desk. Listening to the TrEmstink press conferences, I'm convinced that nothing is fucked here and the Bears are totally going to rip Green Bay a new asshole in two weeks.

Probably just drinking the anti-Slaky kool-aid here, but I like to think that yesterday will turn out to represent the nadir of the Trestman era.

*chest bumps Apex*

In Slaky's defense, this team is a trainwreck, although I somehow doubt he meant "EVERY ONE WILL GET HURT OR DIE" when he said that.

Yeah now they're a trianwreck, thanks mostly to injuries but I don't think they were a trainwreck in August to the degree that would justify leaving the country for 6 weeks, returning only when it appeared that perhaps they weren't such a damn mess.

I support this and would like all of us to begin a permanent Desipio Meme that Marc Trestman is why Slaky moved to Norway.

I met a Norwegian in the visiting student program.  She's very cute and her accent is nice.  #coolstorysterling.  Are you still over there, Slak, or did you move back?

[J. Walter Weatherman]

Yeah now they're a trianwreck, thanks mostly to injuries but I don't think they were a trainwreck in August to the degree that would justify leaving the country for 6 weeks, returning only when it appeared that perhaps they weren't such a damn mess.

I support this and would like all of us to begin a permanent Desipio Meme that Marc Trestman is why Slaky moved to Norway.

If we are going to salvage anything from this season, let it be this.

Is Trestman also the reason he moved back?

No, he didn't want to miss out on the launch of the as-yet-unnamed fourth Doritos Locos Taco.

The Tatoey Doritos® Locos Taco Supreme? Live Más!

[Slaky]

Cutler is out four weeks per the internet, television and the radio on my desk. Listening to the TrEmstink press conferences, I'm convinced that nothing is fucked here and the Bears are totally going to rip Green Bay a new asshole in two weeks.

Probably just drinking the anti-Slaky kool-aid here, but I like to think that yesterday will turn out to represent the nadir of the Trestman era.

*chest bumps Apex*

In Slaky's defense, this team is a trainwreck, although I somehow doubt he meant "EVERY ONE WILL GET HURT OR DIE" when he said that.

Yeah now they're a trianwreck, thanks mostly to injuries but I don't think they were a trainwreck in August to the degree that would justify leaving the country for 6 weeks, returning only when it appeared that perhaps they weren't such a damn mess.

I support this and would like all of us to begin a permanent Desipio Meme that Marc Trestman is why Slaky moved to Norway.

I met a Norwegian in the visiting student program.  She's very cute and her accent is nice.  #coolstorysterling.  Are you still over there, Slak, or did you move back?

I'm back.

I have to admit I was encouraged by the offense on Sunday. The defense is in flux but that's what happens when you rely on old, fat guys to be the core. They're hurt and then they're out and you're left with..that.

I really love Emery's decision not to extend anyone. At this point get everyone the fuck out of here and start over.