2014 WORLD CUP - SOCCER IS GHEY PART DOIS.

[Tony]

Soccer's clock confuses me and until that is fixed I'm not interested.

[Tonker]

But really I just respect soccer fans at this point. How you muster up that much excitement for something that appears to be so uneventful is beyond me. I don't even say that as an insult or whatever. I gather that to soccer fans there's a million things going in in that seemingly interminable distance between goals that will never make sense to me or excite me. Yet most of the world lives and dies for it. Good on you.

I think the rest of the world probably says the same thing about American football.

Even if you take out the beer commercials altogether, the majority of your time spent watching the game is occupied by players shuffling on and off the field, standing around for a bit, maybe having a group hug in the backfield then standing together in lines facing each other while pointing and shouting at various people. Followed by a quick man-pile somewhere. Unstack man-pile. Wash. Rinse. Repeat.

Obviously, to our eyes, those incessant 40-second breaks in the action are where a lot of the game lives. Personnel and formations. Down and distance. Anticipation of play calls in the context of the game and history. But, if you don't have the familiarity with the sport for any of that context to register, any drama that might be found in the gaps is lost on you and it just looks like a whole lot of standing around punctuated by bouts of unintelligible chaos and man-piles. Whistle, dancing robot, beer ad.

And that's one of our most exciting American sports.

This is a fucking outstanding post.  Seriously.

[SKO]

But really I just respect soccer fans at this point. How you muster up that much excitement for something that appears to be so uneventful is beyond me. I don't even say that as an insult or whatever. I gather that to soccer fans there's a million things going in in that seemingly interminable distance between goals that will never make sense to me or excite me. Yet most of the world lives and dies for it. Good on you.

I think the rest of the world probably says the same thing about American football.

Even if you take out the beer commercials altogether, the majority of your time spent watching the game is occupied by players shuffling on and off the field, standing around for a bit, maybe having a group hug in the backfield then standing together in lines facing each other while pointing and shouting at various people. Followed by a quick man-pile somewhere. Unstack man-pile. Wash. Rinse. Repeat.

Obviously, to our eyes, those incessant 40-second breaks in the action are where a lot of the game lives. Personnel and formations. Down and distance. Anticipation of play calls in the context of the game and history. But, if you don't have the familiarity with the sport for any of that context to register, any drama that might be found in the gaps is lost on you and it just looks like a whole lot of standing around punctuated by bouts of unintelligible chaos and man-piles. Whistle, dancing robot, beer ad.

And that's one of our most exciting American sports.

I'm not disagreeing. I was mostly just saying that I don't know what it is they see in those gaps. The football comparison is good. I know what I see in those gaps. I've even tried to have soccer fans watch a game with me and explain what it is I'm supposed to be seeing. I'm not saying "HOW CAN ANYONE ENJOY THIS?" I'm saying that I, personally, cannot see it, but it's obviously there.

[Powdered Toast Man]

I don't hate soccer, and I don't hate foreigners for liking soccer so much.

Soccer's just boring. It's really, really boring. And, you know, since foreigners do like it so much, it kind of makes it gay. That's all.

Well, if a guy who wears pink, slim-fit polo shirts isn't Desipio's foremost expert on masculinity, I don't know who is.

They're button ups, goddammit.

[J. Walter Weatherman]

I don't hate soccer, and I don't hate foreigners for liking soccer so much.

Soccer's just boring. It's really, really boring. And, you know, since foreigners do like it so much, it kind of makes it gay. That's all.

You also think hockey is "boooooooooooooooooooooooooring". Which may be all that needs saying about your judgements on this count.

Also: when I first saw baseball, I thought it was really, really boring.  Then I started to understand the intricacies of it a bit, and I realised that it wasn't necessarily boring at all: indeed, sometimes it could be really quite exciting!

Just sayin'.

But, baseball is beautiful. Like a pretty lady that has nice gams, a flat tummy and big hogans. Soccer is a concave chested emo dude who cuts himself.

They don't call baseball "The Beautiful Game" for nothing.

[J. Walter Weatherman]

Soccer's clock confuses me and until that is fixed I'm not interested.

Also: where are my damn beer commercials?

[Yeti]

But really I just respect soccer fans at this point. How you muster up that much excitement for something that appears to be so uneventful is beyond me. I don't even say that as an insult or whatever. I gather that to soccer fans there's a million things going in in that seemingly interminable distance between goals that will never make sense to me or excite me. Yet most of the world lives and dies for it. Good on you.

I think the rest of the world probably says the same thing about American football.

Even if you take out the beer commercials altogether, the majority of your time spent watching the game is occupied by players shuffling on and off the field, standing around for a bit, maybe having a group hug in the backfield then standing together in lines facing each other while pointing and shouting at various people. Followed by a quick man-pile somewhere. Unstack man-pile. Wash. Rinse. Repeat.

Obviously, to our eyes, those incessant 40-second breaks in the action are where a lot of the game lives. Personnel and formations. Down and distance. Anticipation of play calls in the context of the game and history. But, if you don't have the familiarity with the sport for any of that context to register, any drama that might be found in the gaps is lost on you and it just looks like a whole lot of standing around punctuated by bouts of unintelligible chaos and man-piles. Whistle, dancing robot, beer ad.

And that's one of our most exciting American sports.

What helps football is that the networks have turned it into a great TV entertainment piece. Despite the shithole announcers you may get for your team's game, they're going to throw replays, graphics, stats, and interviews at you to make it feel like there's action the whole time.

[Tonker]

But really I just respect soccer fans at this point. How you muster up that much excitement for something that appears to be so uneventful is beyond me. I don't even say that as an insult or whatever. I gather that to soccer fans there's a million things going in in that seemingly interminable distance between goals that will never make sense to me or excite me. Yet most of the world lives and dies for it. Good on you.

I think the rest of the world probably says the same thing about American football.

Even if you take out the beer commercials altogether, the majority of your time spent watching the game is occupied by players shuffling on and off the field, standing around for a bit, maybe having a group hug in the backfield then standing together in lines facing each other while pointing and shouting at various people. Followed by a quick man-pile somewhere. Unstack man-pile. Wash. Rinse. Repeat.

Obviously, to our eyes, those incessant 40-second breaks in the action are where a lot of the game lives. Personnel and formations. Down and distance. Anticipation of play calls in the context of the game and history. But, if you don't have the familiarity with the sport for any of that context to register, any drama that might be found in the gaps is lost on you and it just looks like a whole lot of standing around punctuated by bouts of unintelligible chaos and man-piles. Whistle, dancing robot, beer ad.

And that's one of our most exciting American sports.

What helps football is that the networks have turned it into a great TV entertainment piece. Despite the shithole announcers you may get for your team's game, they're going to throw replays, graphics, stats, and interviews at you to make it feel like there's action the whole time.

Man, going to an *actual* football game must fucking suck.

[Powdered Toast Man]

I don't hate soccer, and I don't hate foreigners for liking soccer so much.

Soccer's just boring. It's really, really boring. And, you know, since foreigners do like it so much, it kind of makes it gay. That's all.

You also think hockey is "boooooooooooooooooooooooooring". Which may be all that needs saying about your judgements on this count.

Also: when I first saw baseball, I thought it was really, really boring.  Then I started to understand the intricacies of it a bit, and I realised that it wasn't necessarily boring at all: indeed, sometimes it could be really quite exciting!

Just sayin'.

But, baseball is beautiful. Like a pretty lady that has nice gams, a flat tummy and big hogans. Soccer is a concave chested emo dude who cuts himself.

They don't call baseball "The Beautiful Game" for nothing.

Let me clarify on hockey. I actually think hockee is quite entertaining and I watched a good bit of the Rangers/Whomevers the other night with my dad. Hockeetalk on that shit for brains SBox is boooooooooooooring.

[BH]

There is nothing better than watching soccer in a pub with soccer fans, in the US or abroad. The world cup, takes that and makes it a lot better.
Go watch a World Cup match at small bar, on division if you don't get it. It's fantastic.

[J. Walter Weatherman]

But really I just respect soccer fans at this point. How you muster up that much excitement for something that appears to be so uneventful is beyond me. I don't even say that as an insult or whatever. I gather that to soccer fans there's a million things going in in that seemingly interminable distance between goals that will never make sense to me or excite me. Yet most of the world lives and dies for it. Good on you.

I think the rest of the world probably says the same thing about American football.

Even if you take out the beer commercials altogether, the majority of your time spent watching the game is occupied by players shuffling on and off the field, standing around for a bit, maybe having a group hug in the backfield then standing together in lines facing each other while pointing and shouting at various people. Followed by a quick man-pile somewhere. Unstack man-pile. Wash. Rinse. Repeat.

Obviously, to our eyes, those incessant 40-second breaks in the action are where a lot of the game lives. Personnel and formations. Down and distance. Anticipation of play calls in the context of the game and history. But, if you don't have the familiarity with the sport for any of that context to register, any drama that might be found in the gaps is lost on you and it just looks like a whole lot of standing around punctuated by bouts of unintelligible chaos and man-piles. Whistle, dancing robot, beer ad.

And that's one of our most exciting American sports.

What helps football is that the networks have turned it into a great TV entertainment piece. Despite the shithole announcers you may get for your team's game, they're going to throw replays, graphics, stats, and interviews at you to make it feel like there's action the whole time.

I'm not sure there's anything more responsible for football's rise to prominence than the invention of instant replay.

[SKO]

But really I just respect soccer fans at this point. How you muster up that much excitement for something that appears to be so uneventful is beyond me. I don't even say that as an insult or whatever. I gather that to soccer fans there's a million things going in in that seemingly interminable distance between goals that will never make sense to me or excite me. Yet most of the world lives and dies for it. Good on you.

I think the rest of the world probably says the same thing about American football.

Even if you take out the beer commercials altogether, the majority of your time spent watching the game is occupied by players shuffling on and off the field, standing around for a bit, maybe having a group hug in the backfield then standing together in lines facing each other while pointing and shouting at various people. Followed by a quick man-pile somewhere. Unstack man-pile. Wash. Rinse. Repeat.

Obviously, to our eyes, those incessant 40-second breaks in the action are where a lot of the game lives. Personnel and formations. Down and distance. Anticipation of play calls in the context of the game and history. But, if you don't have the familiarity with the sport for any of that context to register, any drama that might be found in the gaps is lost on you and it just looks like a whole lot of standing around punctuated by bouts of unintelligible chaos and man-piles. Whistle, dancing robot, beer ad.

And that's one of our most exciting American sports.

What helps football is that the networks have turned it into a great TV entertainment piece. Despite the shithole announcers you may get for your team's game, they're going to throw replays, graphics, stats, and interviews at you to make it feel like there's action the whole time.

Man, going to an *actual* football game must fucking suck.

It's pretty inferior to staying at home and viewing the game on a large screen TV with twitter and a million stat-tracking websites and the option of viewing multiple games at the same time. Although there's nothing better than being their live when the awesome plays happen.

[Tonker]

But really I just respect soccer fans at this point. How you muster up that much excitement for something that appears to be so uneventful is beyond me. I don't even say that as an insult or whatever. I gather that to soccer fans there's a million things going in in that seemingly interminable distance between goals that will never make sense to me or excite me. Yet most of the world lives and dies for it. Good on you.

I think the rest of the world probably says the same thing about American football.

Even if you take out the beer commercials altogether, the majority of your time spent watching the game is occupied by players shuffling on and off the field, standing around for a bit, maybe having a group hug in the backfield then standing together in lines facing each other while pointing and shouting at various people. Followed by a quick man-pile somewhere. Unstack man-pile. Wash. Rinse. Repeat.

Obviously, to our eyes, those incessant 40-second breaks in the action are where a lot of the game lives. Personnel and formations. Down and distance. Anticipation of play calls in the context of the game and history. But, if you don't have the familiarity with the sport for any of that context to register, any drama that might be found in the gaps is lost on you and it just looks like a whole lot of standing around punctuated by bouts of unintelligible chaos and man-piles. Whistle, dancing robot, beer ad.

And that's one of our most exciting American sports.

What helps football is that the networks have turned it into a great TV entertainment piece. Despite the shithole announcers you may get for your team's game, they're going to throw replays, graphics, stats, and interviews at you to make it feel like there's action the whole time.

Man, going to an *actual* football game must fucking suck.

It's pretty inferior to staying at home and viewing the game on a large screen TV with twitter and a million stat-tracking websites and the option of viewing multiple games at the same time. Although there's nothing better than being their live when the awesome plays happen.

Whose live?

[J. Walter Weatherman]

Man, going to an *actual* football game must fucking suck.

It's pretty inferior to staying at home and viewing the game on a large screen TV with twitter and a million stat-tracking websites and the option of viewing multiple games at the same time. Although there's nothing better than being their live when the awesome plays happen.

Whose live?

I DON'T CARE WHOSE LIVE JUST SIT THE FUCK DOWN WHEN THE AWESOME PLAYS HAPPEN

[InternetApex]

But really I just respect soccer fans at this point. How you muster up that much excitement for something that appears to be so uneventful is beyond me. I don't even say that as an insult or whatever. I gather that to soccer fans there's a million things going in in that seemingly interminable distance between goals that will never make sense to me or excite me. Yet most of the world lives and dies for it. Good on you.

I think the rest of the world probably says the same thing about American football.

Even if you take out the beer commercials altogether, the majority of your time spent watching the game is occupied by players shuffling on and off the field, standing around for a bit, maybe having a group hug in the backfield then standing together in lines facing each other while pointing and shouting at various people. Followed by a quick man-pile somewhere. Unstack man-pile. Wash. Rinse. Repeat.

Obviously, to our eyes, those incessant 40-second breaks in the action are where a lot of the game lives. Personnel and formations. Down and distance. Anticipation of play calls in the context of the game and history. But, if you don't have the familiarity with the sport for any of that context to register, any drama that might be found in the gaps is lost on you and it just looks like a whole lot of standing around punctuated by bouts of unintelligible chaos and man-piles. Whistle, dancing robot, beer ad.

And that's one of our most exciting American sports.

What helps football is that the networks have turned it into a great TV entertainment piece. Despite the shithole announcers you may get for your team's game, they're going to throw replays, graphics, stats, and interviews at you to make it feel like there's action the whole time.

Man, going to an *actual* football game must fucking suck.

It's pretty inferior to staying at home and viewing the game on a large screen TV with twitter and a million stat-tracking websites and the option of viewing multiple games at the same time. Although there's nothing better than being their live when the awesome plays happen.

I really like going to the games. When the Bears win and I was there to witness it, I have a great feeling that lasts for days. Certain plays like the great Jeffery grabs last year and game-turning picks of the the Lovie era sent the whole crowd into a hysteria that you just can't get at home in your pajamas with all your favorite nerds queering off on Twitter. That's a nice substitute. And the Bears don't always win, that's for sure. But Charles Tillman picking off Favre in the endzone and running it back 95 yards at the end of that half before they beat that motherfucker bloody in the second? I was there and we were fucking insane. All of us. Wild fucking dogs. Salivating... That's living. Fuck Twitter.