Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread

[Eli]

Bryant to Iowa tomorrow according to the twits. Looks like Iowa is finally the place to be.

They let him participate in the AA All-Star Game stuff first. Makes sense. Now what can we be angry at Epstink about?

Drafting Almora. He blows.

Well ... he might.

[R-V]

Bryant to Iowa tomorrow according to the twits. Looks like Iowa is finally the place to be.

They let him participate in the AA All-Star Game stuff first. Makes sense. Now what can we be angry at Epstink about?

Drafting Almora. He blows.

Well ... he might.

I think you're embracing the Eli the Wet Blanket mantle a bit too eagerly.

[Eli]

Bryant to Iowa tomorrow according to the twits. Looks like Iowa is finally the place to be.

They let him participate in the AA All-Star Game stuff first. Makes sense. Now what can we be angry at Epstink about?

Drafting Almora. He blows.

Well ... he might.

I think you're embracing the Eli the Wet Blanket mantle a bit too eagerly.

Just responding to BH's apparent implication that it's IMPOSSIBLE to imagine that Almora isn't awesome. There's a decent chance he'll be fine, but why be so flippant and pretend like his terrible start is meaningless?

[R-V]

Bryant to Iowa tomorrow according to the twits. Looks like Iowa is finally the place to be.

They let him participate in the AA All-Star Game stuff first. Makes sense. Now what can we be angry at Epstink about?

Drafting Almora. He blows.

Well ... he might.

I think you're embracing the Eli the Wet Blanket mantle a bit too eagerly.

Just responding to BH's apparent implication that it's IMPOSSIBLE to imagine that Almora isn't awesome. There's a decent chance he'll be fine, but why be so flippant and pretend like his terrible start is meaningless?

I don't think BH was saying that Almora is awesome and you shut your damn pie hole if you think otherwise. I think he was saying that dismissing him entirely because he's having a bad year (which you're not doing) is bonkers.

[Quality Start Machine]

Bryant to Iowa tomorrow according to the twits. Looks like Iowa is finally the place to be.

They let him participate in the AA All-Star Game stuff first. Makes sense. Now what can we be angry at Epstink about?

Drafting Almora. He blows.

Well ... he might.

I think you're embracing the Eli the Wet Blanket mantle a bit too eagerly.

Just responding to BH's apparent implication that it's IMPOSSIBLE to imagine that Almora isn't awesome. There's a decent chance he'll be fine, but why be so flippant and pretend like his terrible start is meaningless?

Looking at everyone's offensive numbers in Daytona, I think a better idea might be finding out who the hitting coach is and launching him into the sun.

[Yeti]

Bryant to Iowa tomorrow according to the twits. Looks like Iowa is finally the place to be.

They let him participate in the AA All-Star Game stuff first. Makes sense. Now what can we be angry at Epstink about?

Drafting Almora. He blows.

Well ... he might.

I think you're embracing the Eli the Wet Blanket mantle a bit too eagerly.

Just responding to BH's apparent implication that it's IMPOSSIBLE to imagine that Almora isn't awesome. There's a decent chance he'll be fine, but why be so flippant and pretend like his terrible start is meaningless?

Looking at everyone's offensive numbers in Daytona, I think a better idea might be finding out who the hitting coach is and launching him into the sun.

Mariano Duncan? But he communicates with the latin players so well!

[Powdered Toast Man]

Bryant to Iowa tomorrow according to the twits. Looks like Iowa is finally the place to be.

They let him participate in the AA All-Star Game stuff first. Makes sense. Now what can we be angry at Epstink about?

Drafting Almora. He blows.

Well ... he might.

I think you're embracing the Eli the Wet Blanket mantle a bit too eagerly.

Just responding to BH's apparent implication that it's IMPOSSIBLE to imagine that Almora isn't awesome. There's a decent chance he'll be fine, but why be so flippant and pretend like his terrible start is meaningless?

Looking at everyone's offensive numbers in Daytona, I think a better idea might be finding out who the hitting coach is and launching him into the sun.

Mariano Duncan? But he communicates with the latin players so well!

Where's Rudy Jaramillo when you need him?

[PenFoe]

Bryant to Iowa tomorrow according to the twits. Looks like Iowa is finally the place to be.

They let him participate in the AA All-Star Game stuff first. Makes sense. Now what can we be angry at Epstink about?

Drafting Almora. He blows.

Well ... he might.

I think you're embracing the Eli the Wet Blanket mantle a bit too eagerly.

Just responding to BH's apparent implication that it's IMPOSSIBLE to imagine that Almora isn't awesome. There's a decent chance he'll be fine, but why be so flippant and pretend like his terrible start is meaningless?

Looking at everyone's offensive numbers in Daytona, I think a better idea might be finding out who the hitting coach is and launching him into the sun.

Mariano Duncan? But he communicates with the latin players so well!

Where's Rudy Jaramillo when you need him?

That's BH's line.

[InternetApex]

Can't wait to see Bryant's numbers in the notoriously hitter-friendly PCL. Fucking Nintendo numbers. 

[SKO]

Can't wait to see Bryant's numbers in the notoriously hitter-friendly PCL. Fucking Nintendo numbers. 

Just like Baez.

[Slaky]

Can't wait to see Bryant's numbers in the notoriously hitter-friendly PCL. Fucking Nintendo numbers. 

Just like Baez.

Baez sucks now. And Almora is Doug Dascenzo.

[SKO]

Can't wait to see Bryant's numbers in the notoriously hitter-friendly PCL. Fucking Nintendo numbers. 

Just like Baez.

Baez sucks now. And Almora is Doug Dascenzo.

Epstink is a nightmare from which we will  never awake.

[PenFoe]

Can't wait to see Bryant's numbers in the notoriously hitter-friendly PCL. Fucking Nintendo numbers. 

I know the PCL has that reputation for being hitter friendly, but the entire Iowa team is hitting for shit this year.

[Powdered Toast Man]

Can't wait to see Bryant's numbers in the notoriously hitter-friendly PCL. Fucking Nintendo numbers. 

I know the PCL has that reputation for being hitter friendly, but the entire Iowa team is hitting for shit this year.

Well, the AAA team is a bunch of old prospects that died. Brett Jackson, Josh Vitters, something called a Lars Anderson, Matt Szeurukafrurur. I could keep going, but you get the idea. This is not a roster of Kris Bryants and Kyle Schwarbers.






















Yet.

[Chuck to Chuck]

Well, the AAA team is a bunch of old prospects that died Jim Hendry draftees. Brett Jackson, Josh Vitters, something called a Lars Anderson, Matt Szeurukafrurur. I could keep going, but you get the idea. This is not a roster of Kris Bryants and Kyle Schwarbers.