Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread

[PenFoe]

I was thinking the same thing Fork about Iowa. I was looking at the league stats for him. .355/458/702/1.160 with 20 2B's, 22 HR's, 58 RBI and 43 walks. He's 30 points higher than 2nd place in batting, 48 pts up in OBA, 105 pts in SLG and a ridiculous difference in OPS with 1.160 to .996 for Jake Lamb. He's 3rd in the league in doubles, 1st in walks, 9 homer lead over 2nd and 1st in RBI. At this pt you'd think they were just trotting out a tee for him. How long before he moves up to Iowa to test himself? Right now he's just making AA pitching look like drooling, mouth-breathing, window-licking, helmet-wearing, shortbus-riding halfwits.

I honestly don't care if he ever plays a game for Iowa. I don't think AAA pitching is that much better than AA pitching. There are plenty of quadruple-A turds in the PCL that wouldn't give Bryant much of a challenge. The arms at AA are much more live, although more mistakes might be made with regard to location and sequence. So, there are big league-ish breaking balls at AAA but not the ones that are going to offer a true test of his mettle. I mean the great Chris Rusin would be on his team so unless they hooked up in a simulated game or something I don't know what there would be to accomplish at that level.

"I think he's going to really dominate Triple-A more than Double-A. I thought Double-A was the hardest level for myself personally, and he's way more polished than I was in the Minor Leagues. He'll see more advanced pitching now. With the bases loaded, guys would rather walk him and give up one run than four. He'll put the finishing touches on his approach and hopefully takes off."

Link

[InternetApex]

I was thinking the same thing Fork about Iowa. I was looking at the league stats for him. .355/458/702/1.160 with 20 2B's, 22 HR's, 58 RBI and 43 walks. He's 30 points higher than 2nd place in batting, 48 pts up in OBA, 105 pts in SLG and a ridiculous difference in OPS with 1.160 to .996 for Jake Lamb. He's 3rd in the league in doubles, 1st in walks, 9 homer lead over 2nd and 1st in RBI. At this pt you'd think they were just trotting out a tee for him. How long before he moves up to Iowa to test himself? Right now he's just making AA pitching look like drooling, mouth-breathing, window-licking, helmet-wearing, shortbus-riding halfwits.

I honestly don't care if he ever plays a game for Iowa. I don't think AAA pitching is that much better than AA pitching. There are plenty of quadruple-A turds in the PCL that wouldn't give Bryant much of a challenge. The arms at AA are much more live, although more mistakes might be made with regard to location and sequence. So, there are big league-ish breaking balls at AAA but not the ones that are going to offer a true test of his mettle. I mean the great Chris Rusin would be on his team so unless they hooked up in a simulated game or something I don't know what there would be to accomplish at that level.

"I think he's going to really dominate Triple-A more than Double-A. I thought Double-A was the hardest level for myself personally, and he's way more polished than I was in the Minor Leagues. He'll see more advanced pitching now. With the bases loaded, guys would rather walk him and give up one run than four. He'll put the finishing touches on his approach and hopefully takes off."

Link

That makes sense. I might be up for a road trip to Des Moines.

[Saul Goodman]

Bryant homered in his first Triple-A game last night, because of course he did.

[Tonker]

Bryant homered in his first Triple-A game last night, because of course he did.

Boner-inducing article and video.

[World's #1 Astros Fan]

Bryant homered in his first Triple-A game last night, because of course he did.

Boner-inducing article and video.

1) In your face, Giancarlo Stanton
2) Color analyst: " (What's) nice about that is he fell behind 0-2 and took all those curveballs that were way outside, didn't chase any, got a pitch he could launch the other way..."
3) Kid's big--after he circles the bases and heads back to the dugout, it seems likehe towers over his little teammates (I'm aware that two of the little 'uns were batboys, which may have amplified the affect for me but still).

Boing.

[Powdered Toast Man]

Bryant homered in his first Triple-A game last night, because of course he did.

Boner-inducing article and video.

1) In your face, Giancarlo Stanton
2) Color analyst: " (What's) nice about that is he fell behind 0-2 and took all those curveballs that were way outside, didn't chase any, got a pitch he could launch the other way..."
3) Kid's big--after he circles the bases and heads back to the dugout, it seems likehe towers over his little teammates (I'm aware that two of the little 'uns were batboys, which may have amplified the affect for me but still).

Boing.

I've fapped so much.

[J. Walter Weatherman]

Bryant homered in his first Triple-A game last night, because of course he did.

Yeah... In his fourth AB. *yawn*

[Yeti]

Bryant homered in his first Triple-A game last night, because of course he did.

Yeah... In his fourth AB. *yawn*

.250 BA. SEND HIM DOWN

[Eli]

1) In your face, Giancarlo Stanton

Intrepid Reader: Giancarlo Stanton

What's Triple-A?

[CT III]

1) In your face, Giancarlo Stanton

Intrepid Reader: Giancarlo Stanton

What's Triple-A?

Intrepid Reader: Fork

It's no place for black guys, that's for sure.

[Quality Start Machine]

1) In your face, Giancarlo Stanton

Intrepid Reader: Giancarlo Stanton

What's Triple-A?

Intrepid Reader: Fork

It's no place for black guys, that's for sure.

For my next impression, Jesse Owens!

[World's #1 Astros Fan]

1) In your face, Giancarlo Stanton

Intrepid Reader: Giancarlo Stanton

What's Triple-A?

For what it's worth the reference was specifically to Stanton's ridiculous line-drive opposite-field homerun against the Cubs last week which is sort of what Bryant's dong-blast reminded me of.

[Slaky]

1) In your face, Giancarlo Stanton

Intrepid Reader: Giancarlo Stanton

What's Triple-A?

For what it's worth the reference was specifically to Stanton's ridiculous line-drive opposite-field homerun against the Cubs last week which is sort of what Bryant's dong-blast reminded me of.

We should expect Kris Bryant to be a slightly better Mark Reynolds.

[Chuck to Chuck]

1) In your face, Giancarlo Stanton

Intrepid Reader: Giancarlo Stanton

What's Triple-A?

For what it's worth the reference was specifically to Stanton's ridiculous line-drive opposite-field homerun against the Cubs last week which is sort of what Bryant's dong-blast reminded me of.

We should expect Kris Bryant to be a slightly better Mark Reynolds.

With more strikeouts.

[Saul Goodman]

1) In your face, Giancarlo Stanton

Intrepid Reader: Giancarlo Stanton

What's Triple-A?

Intrepid Reader: Giancarlo Stanton

(doesn't notice, is too busy plowing whatever Miami's version of Trixies is)