Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread

[Eli]

DOOOOOM.

He isn't coming up this year and their season is two weeks from being over plus playoffs. Sit him down. Who cares.

At least it's not his wrist or hand.

Now they can cite missed development time as a reason to keep him down to start next season.

How do we know Theo didn't sneak into his room while he was sleeping and break his toe with a hammer?  Does Bryant's apartment complex have surveillance footage?

We don't know that. I think we have to assume he did, actually, until he proves otherwise.

[Saul Goodman]

DOOOOOM.

He isn't coming up this year and their season is two weeks from being over plus playoffs. Sit him down. Who cares.

At least it's not his wrist or hand.

Now they can cite missed development time as a reason to keep him down to start next season.

How do we know Theo didn't sneak into his room while he was sleeping and break his toe with a hammer?  Does Bryant's apartment complex have surveillance footage?

We don't know that. I think we have to assume he did, actually, until he proves otherwise.

Agreed.  I for one am glad Theo will stop at nothing to win.  Edwin Jackson had better invest in a really great lock.

[Quality Start Machine]

DOOOOOM.

He isn't coming up this year and their season is two weeks from being over plus playoffs. Sit him down. Who cares.

At least it's not his wrist or hand.

Now they can cite missed development time as a reason to keep him down to start next season.

How do we know Theo didn't sneak into his room while he was sleeping and break his toe with a hammer?  Does Bryant's apartment complex have surveillance footage?

I'm pretty sure IAN has cameras mounted there.

[CBStew]

I am shocked, SHOCKED, I tell you, to read that Scot Boras thinks that the Cubs should call up Kris Bryant.

[Quality Start Machine]

This is to prepare you for full immersion into the MIKE OLT! experience.

[InternetApex]

This is to prepare you for full immersion into the MIKE OLT! experience.

You misspelled Addison Russell but yeah. I remember how a couple of years ago I would achieve full-on pulsating asshurt at the idea of the DH coming to the NL. Now I want that rule changed as soon as Kyle Schwarber is ready begin Babe Fucking Ruthage in the bigs. 

[Quality Start Machine]

This is to prepare you for full immersion into the MIKE OLT! experience.

You misspelled Addison Russell but yeah. I remember how a couple of years ago I would achieve full-on pulsating asshurt at the idea of the DH coming to the NL. Now I want that rule changed as soon as Kyle Schwarber is ready begin Babe Fucking Ruthage in the bigs. 

Russell will cause Castro to move. I don't think he has any bearing on Bryant.

For the record, Olt has no bearing on anything Bryant-related either. I just like joking about Mike Olt and how I once thought he could be like Jim Presley. I was so young and foolish then.

[Saul Goodman]

This is to prepare you for full immersion into the MIKE OLT! experience.

You misspelled Addison Russell but yeah. I remember how a couple of years ago I would achieve full-on pulsating asshurt at the idea of the DH coming to the NL. Now I want that rule changed as soon as Kyle Schwarber is ready begin Babe Fucking Ruthage in the bigs. 

That would change everything, now they don't have to trade DANVO GELBOCK.

[InternetApex]

This is to prepare you for full immersion into the MIKE OLT! experience.

You misspelled Addison Russell but yeah. I remember how a couple of years ago I would achieve full-on pulsating asshurt at the idea of the DH coming to the NL. Now I want that rule changed as soon as Kyle Schwarber is ready begin Babe Fucking Ruthage in the bigs. 

Russell will cause Castro to move. I don't think he has any bearing on Bryant.

For the record, Olt has no bearing on anything Bryant-related either. I just like joking about Mike Olt and how I once thought he could be like Jim Presley. I was so young and foolish then.

Castro has the better arm. Neither guy hits for a ton of power. Russell seems like a natural fit at 2nd or CF.

I have no idea what's going to happen but I see so many good options that don't involve trading for some cunt pitcher that get me really excited.

[Eli]

This is to prepare you for full immersion into the MIKE OLT! experience.

You misspelled Addison Russell but yeah. I remember how a couple of years ago I would achieve full-on pulsating asshurt at the idea of the DH coming to the NL. Now I want that rule changed as soon as Kyle Schwarber is ready begin Babe Fucking Ruthage in the bigs. 

Russell will cause Castro to move. I don't think he has any bearing on Bryant.

For the record, Olt has no bearing on anything Bryant-related either. I just like joking about Mike Olt and how I once thought he could be like Jim Presley. I was so young and foolish then.

I think Russell could potentially wind up at third. Coming out of high school, he was bulkier and most scouts figured that's where he would end up anyway. But he lost some weight to stick at short, so it might be an easy transition to bulk up to add some power and then just slide over.

[Oleg]

This is to prepare you for full immersion into the MIKE OLT! experience.

You misspelled Addison Russell but yeah. I remember how a couple of years ago I would achieve full-on pulsating asshurt at the idea of the DH coming to the NL. Now I want that rule changed as soon as Kyle Schwarber is ready begin Babe Fucking Ruthage in the bigs. 

Russell will cause Castro to move. I don't think he has any bearing on Bryant.

For the record, Olt has no bearing on anything Bryant-related either. I just like joking about Mike Olt and how I once thought he could be like Jim Presley. I was so young and foolish then.

I think Russell could potentially wind up at third. Coming out of high school, he was bulkier and most scouts figured that's where he would end up anyway. But he lost some weight to stick at short, so it might be an easy transition to bulk up to add some power and then just slide over.

The one thing I got from watching 20 hours per week of MLB Network this winter is that Russell doesn't have the arm to play 3B.  It was mentioned on all the top prospect shows that were done (BA and MLB).  It was also mentioned in the BP top prospects rundown on the site.   But, whatever.  I'm not convinced that Bryant isn't sticking at 3B.

Also, I have developed a white hot hatred for Chris Russo.  He's the baseball equivalent of Screamin' Stephen Smith.

[InternetApex]

This is to prepare you for full immersion into the MIKE OLT! experience.

You misspelled Addison Russell but yeah. I remember how a couple of years ago I would achieve full-on pulsating asshurt at the idea of the DH coming to the NL. Now I want that rule changed as soon as Kyle Schwarber is ready begin Babe Fucking Ruthage in the bigs. 

Russell will cause Castro to move. I don't think he has any bearing on Bryant.

For the record, Olt has no bearing on anything Bryant-related either. I just like joking about Mike Olt and how I once thought he could be like Jim Presley. I was so young and foolish then.

I think Russell could potentially wind up at third. Coming out of high school, he was bulkier and most scouts figured that's where he would end up anyway. But he lost some weight to stick at short, so it might be an easy transition to bulk up to add some power and then just slide over.

The one thing I got from watching 20 hours per week of MLB Network this winter is that Russell doesn't have the arm to play 3B.  It was mentioned on all the top prospect shows that were done (BA and MLB).  It was also mentioned in the BP top prospects rundown on the site.   But, whatever.  I'm not convinced that Bryant isn't sticking at 3B.

Also, I have developed a white hot hatred for Chris Russo.  He's the baseball equivalent of Screamin' Stephen Smith.

ALL OF THI

I've never watched one second of that Russo show but his commercials make me want to quit life.

[Quality Start Machine]

This is to prepare you for full immersion into the MIKE OLT! experience.

You misspelled Addison Russell but yeah. I remember how a couple of years ago I would achieve full-on pulsating asshurt at the idea of the DH coming to the NL. Now I want that rule changed as soon as Kyle Schwarber is ready begin Babe Fucking Ruthage in the bigs. 

Russell will cause Castro to move. I don't think he has any bearing on Bryant.

For the record, Olt has no bearing on anything Bryant-related either. I just like joking about Mike Olt and how I once thought he could be like Jim Presley. I was so young and foolish then.

I think Russell could potentially wind up at third. Coming out of high school, he was bulkier and most scouts figured that's where he would end up anyway. But he lost some weight to stick at short, so it might be an easy transition to bulk up to add some power and then just slide over.

The one thing I got from watching 20 hours per week of MLB Network this winter is that Russell doesn't have the arm to play 3B.  It was mentioned on all the top prospect shows that were done (BA and MLB).  It was also mentioned in the BP top prospects rundown on the site.   But, whatever.  I'm not convinced that Bryant isn't sticking at 3B.

Also, I have developed a white hot hatred for Chris Russo.  He's the baseball equivalent of Screamin' Stephen Smith.

20 hours a week, but you were probably baked for most/all of it.

[Eli]

The one thing I got from watching 20 hours per week of MLB Network this winter is that Russell doesn't have the arm to play 3B.

Really? Most scouting reports I've seen on Russell rate his arm somewhere between above-average or plus. And while 3B might require a slightly stronger arm than short, I don't think the difference is all that significant. But if Baez fits better at 3B than Russell, that's fine. I still don't see Bryant sticking at third for more than 3-4 years, if at all. Especially if he can be a good defender in left field, as a lot of people have said.

[SKO]

The one thing I got from watching 20 hours per week of MLB Network this winter is that Russell doesn't have the arm to play 3B. 

Really? Most scouting reports I've seen on Russell rate his arm somewhere between above-average or plus. And while 3B might require a slightly stronger arm than short, I don't think the difference is all that significant.

Yeah. I also don't know where Apex got the idea that he doesn't have much power, what with the .515 slugging % and 13 homers in just 68 games last year.

Stop telling insidious lies about Addison Russell, you twits.