Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread

[PenFoe]

I'm actually somewhat worried Kris Bryant is gonna be not that good in the majors. Anyone else have this fear?

I'm afraid of the government. I'm afraid of another global economic collapse. I'm afraid of bringing offspring into this world of shit.

I'm not afraid that Kris Bryant will turn out to be not that great in the majors. Because I'm certain that he will and that for my last several years on this accursed rock I will never experience a day in which I fail to wear an article of clothing that says "Cubs" and "World Series Champions" on it.

the idea of old as shit Apex wearing a different Cubs World Series item every day makes me pretty happy

It'll all  have LeBron James' number on the back though.

If the Cubs sign LeBron... oh, man.

I'll give you this: he couldn't be worse than Jordan.

You know, despite taking like 15 years off baseball, Jordan's OPS at AA was only 49 points lower than Albert Almora's.

Damn it, Eli.

I can't even get upset.  That's high-level trolling.

[Eli]

[Eli]

There is a small kernel of truth in that I think Jordan's minor-league performance was actually amazing, all things considered.

[SKO]

There is a small kernel of truth in that I think Jordan's minor-league performance was actually amazing, all things considered.

Yeah Jordan managing to break the Mendoza line in AA despite having not played a game of baseball in, what, 15 years or more at that point is really fucking impressive. I mean it makes it no less of a bizarre career move but he did fairly well given the odds against anyone being able to do that.

[J. Walter Weatherman]

There is a small kernel of truth in that I think Jordan's minor-league performance was actually amazing, all things considered.

Yeah Jordan managing to break the Mendoza line in AA despite having not played a game of baseball in, what, 15 years or more at that point is really fucking impressive. I mean it makes it no less of a bizarre career move but he did fairly well given the odds against anyone being able to do that.

A MAN WAS DEAD.

[Saul Goodman]

Spring training sploosh.

[ChuckD]

8 for 19. 5 dongs (two of which were opposite fielders), a double, and two walks.

OBP: .476
SLG: 1.263
OPS: 1.739
SPG: INF

[ChuckD]

9 for 20. 6 dongs (at least two of which were opposite fielders), a double, and two walks.

OBP: .500
SLG: 1.400
OPS: 1.900
SPG: INF * INF * INF

Corrected.

[Brownie]

9 for 20. 6 dongs (at least two of which were opposite fielders), a double, and two walks.

OBP: .500
SLG: 1.400
OPS: 1.900
SPG: INF * INF * INF

Corrected.

Yeah, overshadowing Kyle Hendricks' 5 perfect innings. Epstink is terrible.

[Quality Start Machine]

Nailing a virgin on prom night wasn't as tough a sell as sending Bryant to Iowa is going to be.

[Eli]

Nailing a virgin on prom night wasn't as tough a sell as sending Bryant to Iowa is going to be.

He's had some rough plays in the field. They'll mention his defense (if they have to even say anything publicly at all) and maybe needing to get some reps in left field. It's not any harder of a sell than it was before spring training.

[CBStew]

Nailing a virgin on prom night wasn't as tough a sell as sending Bryant to Iowa is going to be.

He's had some rough plays in the field. They'll mention his defense (if they have to even say anything publicly at all) and maybe needing to get some reps in left field. It's not any harder of a sell than it was before spring training.

Does anyone really believe that one player would make a significant difference during a 13 day period in April?  It is not as though the cubs plan to start Elmer Fudd in place of Bryant in the games played in those 13 days.  Hell, at least 25 % of those games will be rained (snowed) out anyway.

[Eli]

Does anyone really believe that one player would make a significant difference during a 13 day period in April? 

Apparently so.

There are a lot of people pointing to the Braves calling up Jason Heyward in his rookie year and extrapolating that his Opening Day home run is why they made the playoffs by a single game (which is quite a stretch for a number of reasons, not the least of which is they won on that game by 11 runs).

Those people also ignore that he's no longer a Brave after they traded him due to his impending free agency. Which, of course, came a year earlier than it could have.

[Quality Start Machine]

Does anyone really believe that one player would make a significant difference during a 13 day period in April? 

Apparently so.

There are a lot of people pointing to the Braves calling up Jason Heyward in his rookie year and extrapolating that his Opening Day home run is why they made the playoffs by a single game (which is quite a stretch for a number of reasons, not the least of which is they won on that game by 11 runs).

Those people also ignore that he's no longer a Brave after they traded him due to his impending free agency. Which, of course, came a year earlier than it could have.

The Braves were a playoff contender both before and during Heyward's rookie season. The Cubs could possibly contend this year, but they'd need to have pretty much everything go right for that to happen. Not to mention, we saw the Cubs do this exact same thing with Baez last season, and with Rizzo a few years ago. And Rizzo got extended before he even became arbitration eligible. There's no reason to believe the Cubs won't do the same thing with Bryant if he proves to be the real deal.

In the 18 days that Bryant would be cooling his heels, there are only three games that could have significant downstream impact, the three against the Cardinals to open the season. Cubs are better off sticking to the plan.

[SKO]

Does anyone really believe that one player would make a significant difference during a 13 day period in April? 

Apparently so.

There are a lot of people pointing to the Braves calling up Jason Heyward in his rookie year and extrapolating that his Opening Day home run is why they made the playoffs by a single game (which is quite a stretch for a number of reasons, not the least of which is they won on that game by 11 runs).

Those people also ignore that he's no longer a Brave after they traded him due to his impending free agency. Which, of course, came a year earlier than it could have.

The Braves were a playoff contender both before and during Heyward's rookie season. The Cubs could possibly contend this year, but they'd need to have pretty much everything go right for that to happen. Not to mention, we saw the Cubs do this exact same thing with Baez last season, and with Rizzo a few years ago. And Rizzo got extended before he even became arbitration eligible. There's no reason to believe the Cubs won't do the same thing with Bryant if he proves to be the real deal.

In the 18 days that Bryant would be cooling his heels, there are only three games that could have significant downstream impact, the three against the Cardinals to open the season. Cubs are better off sticking to the plan.

I don't think there's even a remote similarity between how Baez and Rizzo were handled and how Bryant is being handled. Javy was called up once he hit their threshold for AAA AB's and he'd overcome his early season awfulness. Rizzo was also called up once he had enough seasoning AAA they felt he could be called up and not repeat the struggles of his first call up with the Padres.


Bryant has already got a half season at AAA. This is solely about control, not development, so yeah, that comparison sucks.

Also the extensions Rizzo and Castro signed are irrelevant as well, because the main reason control IS so important with Bryant is because Boras is his agent and he is extremely unlikely to sign an extension that may lead to him getting paid below market value.