Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread

[J. Walter Weatherman]

So, we're agreed then: Kris Bryant will start the season in Iowa.

Good work, everyone.

[R-V]

But how can you state something is an absolute when we have a huge time period between here and there filled with variables?

when the time comes, if the Cubs want to keep him on the roster, they'll have the resources to make it happen.

Money is absolute. Humans aren't.

And you can guarantee that with all of the renovations and whatnot and a rebuild that still is completely unproven and stuff that the Cubs will have enough money to outbid the Yankees or Red Sox or Angels or Dodgers six years from now? This is dumb.

How so? The Cubs are currently running relatively lean financially, even with the Lester and Jackson deals. Jackson rolls off in a couple years.

The Cubs will have fuckloads of money, because the Ricketts family has fuckloads of money - regardless of potential future revenue sources. If Bryant winds up being a superstar and decides to ply his trade elsewhere, it won't be because the Cubs can't afford him.

Dammit Fork, now Chuck is going to feel the need to contribute to this discussion.

[Oleg]

I find this thread weird and scary.

[PenFoe]

This thread is the dumbest thing since the Bears gave Eddie Royal $10MM guaranteed.

[Quality Start Machine]

But how can you state something is an absolute when we have a huge time period between here and there filled with variables?

when the time comes, if the Cubs want to keep him on the roster, they'll have the resources to make it happen.

Money is absolute. Humans aren't.

And you can guarantee that with all of the renovations and whatnot and a rebuild that still is completely unproven and stuff that the Cubs will have enough money to outbid the Yankees or Red Sox or Angels or Dodgers six years from now? This is dumb.

How so? The Cubs are currently running relatively lean financially, even with the Lester and Jackson deals. Jackson rolls off in a couple years.

The Cubs will have fuckloads of money, because the Ricketts family has fuckloads of money - regardless of potential future revenue sources. If Bryant winds up being a superstar and decides to ply his trade elsewhere, it won't be because the Cubs can't afford him.

Right but why not put that off till 2021 instead of 2020 anyway? The fact that you feel confident you might be able to re-sign him is no reason to bring that decision about any sooner than you have to. That's all any of us are trying to say. Scott Boras is just one factor in that decision, but he's definitely a factor.

I'm simply saying worry about it when it's time to worry about it. For now, Scott Boras doesn't matter until it's time to sit down and talk turkey. and if Bryant Priors out, that might not even happen.

And I never said keeping him down isn't a good idea, it's using the system as designed. if the MLBPA wants to bitch, too bad. They signed the CBA, and either they didn't understand this risk, or they accepted it. Bryant is neither the first nor the last who will have to spend more time than is necessary in order to be under control by their team for an extra year.

[Bort]

so I capitalize first letters for emphasis instead.

That makes No sense.

I have told Sko this so Many times.

[Saul Goodman]

Since a lot of his homers have come against bums this spring, how about a two-run shot off Felix Damn Hernandez. That do anything for you?

[SKO]

Had to go to dinner with my wife's boss last night for a work thing she had. Her boss brought up Kris Bryant and I had to suffer through him saying the following

1) Why would they send him to the minors? That's so dumb

I explain team control

2)Well you just know if the Cubs do that they'll miss the playoffs by 1 game

3)You know even if he turns out good they'll just trade him like they did Samardzija and every other good player they had the last few years.

4) Lol Cubs DERP DERP goat DERP DERP

Fortunately real life SKO has far more restraint than Internet SKO becuase otherwise I think my wife would be unemployed this morning.

[PenFoe]

Had to go to dinner with my wife's boss last night for a work thing she had. Her boss brought up Kris Bryant and I had to suffer through him saying the following

1) Why would they send him to the minors? That's so dumb

I explain team control

2)Well you just know if the Cubs do that they'll miss the playoffs by 1 game

3)You know even if he turns out good they'll just trade him like they did Samardzija and every other good player they had the last few years.

4) Lol Cubs DERP DERP goat DERP DERP

Fortunately real life SKO has far more restraint than Internet SKO becuase otherwise I think my wife would be unemployed this morning.

One of my favorites.

[World's #1 Astros Fan]

Had to go to dinner with my wife's boss last night for a work thing she had. Her boss brought up Kris Bryant and I had to suffer through him saying the following

1) Why would they send him to the minors? That's so dumb

I explain team control

2)Well you just know if the Cubs do that they'll miss the playoffs by 1 game

3)You know even if he turns out good they'll just trade him like they did Samardzija and every other good player they had the last few years.

4) Lol Cubs DERP DERP goat DERP DERP

Fortunately real life SKO has far more restraint than Internet SKO becuase otherwise I think my wife would be unemployed this morning.

One of my favorites.

However, shaming said people should be construed as unnecessary.

[PenFoe]

Had to go to dinner with my wife's boss last night for a work thing she had. Her boss brought up Kris Bryant and I had to suffer through him saying the following

1) Why would they send him to the minors? That's so dumb

I explain team control

2)Well you just know if the Cubs do that they'll miss the playoffs by 1 game

3)You know even if he turns out good they'll just trade him like they did Samardzija and every other good player they had the last few years.

4) Lol Cubs DERP DERP goat DERP DERP

Fortunately real life SKO has far more restraint than Internet SKO becuase otherwise I think my wife would be unemployed this morning.

One of my favorites.

However, shaming said people should be construed as unnecessary.

Look, if we're not shaming people anymore, we may as well shut it all down.

[InternetApex]

Had to go to dinner with my wife's boss last night for a work thing she had. Her boss brought up Kris Bryant and I had to suffer through him saying the following

1) Why would they send him to the minors? That's so dumb

I explain team control

2)Well you just know if the Cubs do that they'll miss the playoffs by 1 game

3)You know even if he turns out good they'll just trade him like they did Samardzija and every other good player they had the last few years.

4) Lol Cubs DERP DERP goat DERP DERP

Fortunately real life SKO has far more restraint than Internet SKO becuase otherwise I think my wife would be unemployed this morning.

One of my favorites.

However, shaming said people should be construed as unnecessary.

Look, if we're not shaming people anymore, we may as well shut it all down.

There is a time and place for that sort of behavior. For Huard, it's between the chalk lines of the softball diamond as soon as the shit hits the fan.

[Bort]

Had to go to dinner with my wife's boss last night for a work thing she had. Her boss brought up Kris Bryant and I had to suffer through him saying the following

1) Why would they send him to the minors? That's so dumb

I explain team control

2)Well you just know if the Cubs do that they'll miss the playoffs by 1 game

3)You know even if he turns out good they'll just trade him like they did Samardzija and every other good player they had the last few years.

4) Lol Cubs DERP DERP goat DERP DERP

Fortunately real life SKO has far more restraint than Internet SKO becuase otherwise I think my wife would be unemployed this morning.

HOW DARE HE MENTION SNORK AND BRYANT IN THE SAME SENTENCE?

[Eli]

Had to go to dinner with my wife's boss last night for a work thing she had. Her boss brought up Kris Bryant and I had to suffer through him saying the following

1) Why would they send him to the minors? That's so dumb

I explain team control

2)Well you just know if the Cubs do that they'll miss the playoffs by 1 game

3)You know even if he turns out good they'll just trade him like they did Samardzija and every other good player they had the last few years.

4) Lol Cubs DERP DERP goat DERP DERP

Fortunately real life SKO has far more restraint than Internet SKO becuase otherwise I think my wife would be unemployed this morning.

One of my favorites.

Still true.

[SKO]

Had to go to dinner with my wife's boss last night for a work thing she had. Her boss brought up Kris Bryant and I had to suffer through him saying the following

1) Why would they send him to the minors? That's so dumb

I explain team control

2)Well you just know if the Cubs do that they'll miss the playoffs by 1 game

3)You know even if he turns out good they'll just trade him like they did Samardzija and every other good player they had the last few years.

4) Lol Cubs DERP DERP goat DERP DERP

Fortunately real life SKO has far more restraint than Internet SKO becuase otherwise I think my wife would be unemployed this morning.

One of my favorites.

Still true.

First family reunion I ever went to with my wife's family was in 2011. Her cousin from Denver came wearing a Tebow jersey. He made mention of Tebow being better than Cutler ever was and....I'm not going back to anymore of those reunions, I'll tell you that.