Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread

[Eli]

Everyone is speculating now that it'll be Friday with all the injuries and roster crunch going on.

And I know it's less clear than just dividing his expected WAR by 162 (which I still think is a poor way to measure the impact of him being sent down), but man, it sure SEEMS like he could've made a big difference in last night's game. Maybe that should go in the "I Admit It" thread, but I'll just leave it here.

[Yeti]

Everyone is speculating now that it'll be Friday with all the injuries and roster crunch going on.

And I know it's less clear than just dividing his expected WAR by 162 (which I still think is a poor way to measure the impact of him being sent down), but man, it sure SEEMS like he could've made a big difference in last night's game. Maybe that should go in the "I Admit It" thread, but I'll just leave it here.

Well, he would have hit an Aroldis pitch halfway up the block on Kenmore. I can guarantee that

[SKO]

Everyone is speculating now that it'll be Friday with all the injuries and roster crunch going on.

And I know it's less clear than just dividing his expected WAR by 162 (which I still think is a poor way to measure the impact of him being sent down), but man, it sure SEEMS like he could've made a big difference in last night's game. Maybe that should go in the "I Admit It" thread, but I'll just leave it here.

I have to admit I had spent most of this first week hoping the Cubs lost by more than one run in any game they lost, because you just know last night's the game they're gonna point to if the Cubs miss the playoffs by a hair.

[Slaky]

La Stella's injury couple with Olt's means Bryant has to come up soon. You can't just keep trotting Herrera out at third base. They won't.

[World's #1 Astros Fan]

La Stella's injury couple with Olt's means Bryant has to come up soon. You can't just keep trotting Herrera out at third base. They won't.

One more game ought to do it.  Tomorrow's a day off so...

[Eli]

Everyone is speculating now that it'll be Friday with all the injuries and roster crunch going on.

And I know it's less clear than just dividing his expected WAR by 162 (which I still think is a poor way to measure the impact of him being sent down), but man, it sure SEEMS like he could've made a big difference in last night's game. Maybe that should go in the "I Admit It" thread, but I'll just leave it here.

Well, he would have hit an Aroldis pitch halfway up the block on Kenmore. I can guarantee that

Or Soler would have first, since they probably wouldn't pitch around him with Bryant on deck.

[R-V]

Everyone is speculating now that it'll be Friday with all the injuries and roster crunch going on.

And I know it's less clear than just dividing his expected WAR by 162 (which I still think is a poor way to measure the impact of him being sent down), but man, it sure SEEMS like he could've made a big difference in last night's game. Maybe that should go in the "I Admit It" thread, but I'll just leave it here.

Well, he would have hit an Aroldis pitch halfway up the block on Kenmore. I can guarantee that

Or Soler would have first, since they probably wouldn't pitch around him with Bryant on deck.

I thought we were all reasonable people who could agree that Chris Coghlan is the ideal cleanup hitter? Jesus Eli, you really are a negative Ned.

[Chuck to Chuck]

Everyone is speculating now that it'll be Friday with all the injuries and roster crunch going on.

And I know it's less clear than just dividing his expected WAR by 162 (which I still think is a poor way to measure the impact of him being sent down), but man, it sure SEEMS like he could've made a big difference in last night's game. Maybe that should go in the "I Admit It" thread, but I'll just leave it here.

Well, he would have hit an Aroldis pitch halfway up the block on Kenmore. I can guarantee that

Or Soler would have first, since they probably wouldn't pitch around him with Bryant on deck.

Given Bryant's MiLB K%, they're going to pitch around to Bryant a lot.

At first.

[Saul Goodman]

Everyone is speculating now that it'll be Friday with all the injuries and roster crunch going on.

And I know it's less clear than just dividing his expected WAR by 162 (which I still think is a poor way to measure the impact of him being sent down), but man, it sure SEEMS like he could've made a big difference in last night's game. Maybe that should go in the "I Admit It" thread, but I'll just leave it here.

Well, he would have hit an Aroldis pitch halfway up the block on Kenmore. I can guarantee that

Or Soler would have first, since they probably wouldn't pitch around him with Bryant on deck.

Given Bryant's MiLB K%, they're going to pitch around to Bryant a lot.

At first.

wat

[Eli]

Everyone is speculating now that it'll be Friday with all the injuries and roster crunch going on.

And I know it's less clear than just dividing his expected WAR by 162 (which I still think is a poor way to measure the impact of him being sent down), but man, it sure SEEMS like he could've made a big difference in last night's game. Maybe that should go in the "I Admit It" thread, but I'll just leave it here.

Well, he would have hit an Aroldis pitch halfway up the block on Kenmore. I can guarantee that

Or Soler would have first, since they probably wouldn't pitch around him with Bryant on deck.

Given Bryant's MiLB K%, they're going to pitch around to Bryant a lot.

At first.

wat

He means they'll pitch around Soler to get to Bryant, which is still wrong.

[SKO]

Everyone is speculating now that it'll be Friday with all the injuries and roster crunch going on.

And I know it's less clear than just dividing his expected WAR by 162 (which I still think is a poor way to measure the impact of him being sent down), but man, it sure SEEMS like he could've made a big difference in last night's game. Maybe that should go in the "I Admit It" thread, but I'll just leave it here.

Well, he would have hit an Aroldis pitch halfway up the block on Kenmore. I can guarantee that

Or Soler would have first, since they probably wouldn't pitch around him with Bryant on deck.

Given Bryant's MiLB K%, they're going to pitch around to Bryant a lot.

At first.

wat

He means they'll pitch around Soler to get to Bryant, which is still wrong.

God, Chuck

[Chuck to Chuck]

Everyone is speculating now that it'll be Friday with all the injuries and roster crunch going on.

And I know it's less clear than just dividing his expected WAR by 162 (which I still think is a poor way to measure the impact of him being sent down), but man, it sure SEEMS like he could've made a big difference in last night's game. Maybe that should go in the "I Admit It" thread, but I'll just leave it here.

Well, he would have hit an Aroldis pitch halfway up the block on Kenmore. I can guarantee that

Or Soler would have first, since they probably wouldn't pitch around him with Bryant on deck.

Given Bryant's MiLB K%, they're going to pitch around to Bryant a lot.

At first.

wat

He means they'll pitch around Soler to get to Bryant, which is still wrong.

Their going to pitch around Soler a lot until Bryant makes them pay. They did it last night bottom 8 with Rizzo on first.

I think Bryant is going to make them pay.  Quickly.  But it's pretty clear that Soler is the most feared hitter on the team right now.

[Tonker]

Everyone is speculating now that it'll be Friday with all the injuries and roster crunch going on.

And I know it's less clear than just dividing his expected WAR by 162 (which I still think is a poor way to measure the impact of him being sent down), but man, it sure SEEMS like he could've made a big difference in last night's game. Maybe that should go in the "I Admit It" thread, but I'll just leave it here.

Well, he would have hit an Aroldis pitch halfway up the block on Kenmore. I can guarantee that

Or Soler would have first, since they probably wouldn't pitch around him with Bryant on deck.

Given Bryant's MiLB K%, they're going to pitch around to Bryant a lot.

At first.

wat

He means they'll pitch around Soler to get to Bryant, which is still wrong.

Their going to pitch around Soler a lot until Bryant makes them pay. They did it last night bottom 8 with Rizzo on first.

I think Bryant is going to make them pay.  Quickly.  But it's pretty clear that Soler is the most feared hitter on the team right now.

Nice gerund.

[InternetApex]

Everyone is speculating now that it'll be Friday with all the injuries and roster crunch going on.

And I know it's less clear than just dividing his expected WAR by 162 (which I still think is a poor way to measure the impact of him being sent down), but man, it sure SEEMS like he could've made a big difference in last night's game. Maybe that should go in the "I Admit It" thread, but I'll just leave it here.

Well, he would have hit an Aroldis pitch halfway up the block on Kenmore. I can guarantee that

Or Soler would have first, since they probably wouldn't pitch around him with Bryant on deck.

Given Bryant's MiLB K%, they're going to pitch around to Bryant a lot.

At first.

wat

He means they'll pitch around Soler to get to Bryant, which is still wrong.

Their going to pitch around Soler a lot until Bryant makes them pay. They did it last night bottom 8 with Rizzo on first.

I think Bryant is going to make them pay.  Quickly.  But it's pretty clear that Soler is the most feared hitter on the team right now.

Fuck. Even you know you're wrong.

[Eli]

Their going to pitch around Soler a lot until Bryant makes them pay. They did it last night bottom 8 with Rizzo on first.

I think Bryant is going to make them pay.  Quickly.  But it's pretty clear that Soler is the most feared hitter on the team right now.

What does "make them pay" even mean? Does he just need to make one team pay for all the others to not pitch around Soler, or will he need to go on a league-wide tour of payuppance with stops at each individual team before they stop pitching around Soler?

Anyway, Maddon will probably hit Bryant leadoff or something weird, making this all moot.