Kris Bryant Firehose of Splooge Thread

[SKO]

What is Internet Chuck doing? Why is he hating on Mark Grace?

When I was a kid, I watched a lot of Cubs baseball and Mark Grace was my favorite baseball player. I played 1B and wore #17 because of him. I was too young to even know or understand what went on in Grace's personal life...I just knew he was a nails 1B. And I liked him. I just liked the guy.

So, I'm just wondering...I know Grace was apparently not a saint, but still...who cares? Don't taint my childhood, Chuck. Or I'll break your internet kneecaps.

This isn't even about Chuck hating on Grace's personal life or whatever. He's apparently upset that a guy who spent 13 years in Chicago and 3 years in Phoenix preferred playing in Chicago. He's upset about this as a guy who lives in Chicago. I...christ even for him this is a new low.

[Powdered Toast Man]

What is Internet Chuck doing? Why is he hating on Mark Grace?

When I was a kid, I watched a lot of Cubs baseball and Mark Grace was my favorite baseball player. I played 1B and wore #17 because of him. I was too young to even know or understand what went on in Grace's personal life...I just knew he was a nails 1B. And I liked him. I just liked the guy.

So, I'm just wondering...I know Grace was apparently not a saint, but still...who cares? Don't taint my childhood, Chuck. Or I'll break your internet kneecaps.

This isn't even about Chuck hating on Grace's personal life or whatever. He's apparently upset that a guy who spent 13 years in Chicago and 3 years in Phoenix preferred playing in Chicago. He's upset about this as a guy who lives in Chicago. I...christ even for him this is a new low.

That's the dumbest thing Chuck has ever Chucked.

[World's #1 Astros Fan]

What is Internet Chuck doing? Why is he hating on Mark Grace?

When I was a kid, I watched a lot of Cubs baseball and Mark Grace was my favorite baseball player. I played 1B and wore #17 because of him. I was too young to even know or understand what went on in Grace's personal life...I just knew he was a nails 1B. And I liked him. I just liked the guy.

So, I'm just wondering...I know Grace was apparently not a saint, but still...who cares? Don't taint my childhood, Chuck. Or I'll break your internet kneecaps.

This isn't even about Chuck hating on Grace's personal life or whatever. He's apparently upset that a guy who spent 13 years in Chicago and 3 years in Phoenix preferred playing in Chicago. He's upset about this as a guy who lives in Chicago. I...christ even for him this is a new low.

1) He said Grace is overrated, which he's not.  Nobody's talking about the guy for HOF.  He collected over 2,000 hits and was a gold glove first baseman.  I'd say as a player Grace was perfectly rated.
2) He calls him a "piece of shit".  I don't know what Grace does that differentiates himself from other pro athletes, but okay.  The guy whored around (again, like most ballplayers).  Is Chuck morally aggrieved?  Who knows? Maybe he's a piece of shit because..
3) He enjoyed losing more in Chicago than winning in AZ....I don't know what the fuck that means. He wasn't the GM--though Chuck undoubtedly feels that as the team leader (with a team that had Dawson and Sandberg when he arrived and, later, Sosa) he should have FORCED his bosses to add talent that they had no ability to discern.  In any event, the guy hit the ever-loving shit out of the ball in the '89 NLCS, maybe he wasn't aware that it was the playoffs?  The dude seemed pretty goddamn happy when the Diamondbacks won the world series in 2001 (particularly since he started the Series-winning rally against the great Mariano Rivera).

Chuck gonna Chuck but even this latest dispensation of fecal-encrusted wisdom is more maddening and nonsensical than most of Chuck's expressed thoughts on sports.

[Tonker]

What is Internet Chuck doing? Why is he hating on Mark Grace?

When I was a kid, I watched a lot of Cubs baseball and Mark Grace was my favorite baseball player. I played 1B and wore #17 because of him. I was too young to even know or understand what went on in Grace's personal life...I just knew he was a nails 1B. And I liked him. I just liked the guy.

So, I'm just wondering...I know Grace was apparently not a saint, but still...who cares? Don't taint my childhood, Chuck. Or I'll break your internet kneecaps.

This isn't even about Chuck hating on Grace's personal life or whatever. He's apparently upset that a guy who spent 13 years in Chicago and 3 years in Phoenix preferred playing in Chicago. He's upset about this as a guy who lives in Chicago. I...christ even for him this is a new low.

1) He said Grace is overrated, which he's not.  Nobody's talking about the guy for HOF.  He collected over 2,000 hits and was a gold glove first baseman.  I'd say as a player Grace was perfectly rated.
2) He calls him a "piece of shit".  I don't know what Grace does that differentiates himself from other pro athletes, but okay.  The guy whored around (again, like most ballplayers).  Is Chuck morally aggrieved?  Who knows? Maybe he's a piece of shit because..
3) He enjoyed losing more in Chicago than winning in AZ....I don't know what the fuck that means. He wasn't the GM--though Chuck undoubtedly feels that as the team leader (with a team that had Dawson and Sandberg when he arrived and, later, Sosa) he should have FORCED his bosses to add talent that they had no ability to discern.  In any event, the guy hit the ever-loving shit out of the ball in the '89 NLCS, maybe he wasn't aware that it was the playoffs?  The dude seemed pretty goddamn happy when the Diamondbacks won the world series in 2001 (particularly since he started the Series-winning rally against the great Mariano Rivera).

Chuck gonna Chuck but even this latest dispensation of fecal-encrusted wisdom is more maddening and nonsensical attention-seeking than most of Chuck's expressed thoughts on sports.

What it's all about'd.

[InternetApex]

What is Internet Chuck doing? Why is he hating on Mark Grace?

When I was a kid, I watched a lot of Cubs baseball and Mark Grace was my favorite baseball player. I played 1B and wore #17 because of him. I was too young to even know or understand what went on in Grace's personal life...I just knew he was a nails 1B. And I liked him. I just liked the guy.

So, I'm just wondering...I know Grace was apparently not a saint, but still...who cares? Don't taint my childhood, Chuck. Or I'll break your internet kneecaps.

This isn't even about Chuck hating on Grace's personal life or whatever. He's apparently upset that a guy who spent 13 years in Chicago and 3 years in Phoenix preferred playing in Chicago. He's upset about this as a guy who lives in Chicago. I...christ even for him this is a new low.

1) He said Grace is overrated, which he's not.  Nobody's talking about the guy for HOF.  He collected over 2,000 hits and was a gold glove first baseman.  I'd say as a player Grace was perfectly rated.
2) He calls him a "piece of shit".  I don't know what Grace does that differentiates himself from other pro athletes, but okay.  The guy whored around (again, like most ballplayers).  Is Chuck morally aggrieved?  Who knows? Maybe he's a piece of shit because..
3) He enjoyed losing more in Chicago than winning in AZ....I don't know what the fuck that means. He wasn't the GM--though Chuck undoubtedly feels that as the team leader (with a team that had Dawson and Sandberg when he arrived and, later, Sosa) he should have FORCED his bosses to add talent that they had no ability to discern.  In any event, the guy hit the ever-loving shit out of the ball in the '89 NLCS, maybe he wasn't aware that it was the playoffs?  The dude seemed pretty goddamn happy when the Diamondbacks won the world series in 2001 (particularly since he started the Series-winning rally against the great Mariano Rivera).

Chuck gonna Chuck but even this latest dispensation of fecal-encrusted wisdom is more maddening and nonsensical attention-seeking than most of Chuck's expressed thoughts on sports.

What it's all about'd.

I have a problem with all the drunk driving business down in Arizona. We know what he got busted for. We know he continued to do it afterward. We can only guess about how bad it actually was or how many times they let him go. I think if we're going to talk greasy about the Cardinals players who did it and what became of them, then we have to be honest about what Grace turned into. I don't want to call him a piece of shit, but I can't say I like him very much anymore.

[Quality Start Machine]

I gladly accept any shit thrown my way for predicting Bryant would be called up on the road. It does not matter. On this day all sins are forgiven and we embark on a new life.   Forgotten are theShane Andrews and Willie Greenesof the world  . Kris Bryant is here to mend all of our broken, stupid hearts.

The solid near-decade of pancake-smashing homeruns that Aramis Ramirez hit already did that for me.

Right? WTF, SKO?

I was just plucking two shitty players out of a bin as representative of our collective fan experience rooting for the Cubs, and commenting on how Bryant will end this century of failure. It wasn't meant to rate him as the only good 3B the Cubs have had in our lifetimes and send Aramis into the land of the forgotten. MY BAD.

It's fine.  It's just that I had gotten so tired of "Geez, the Cubs have had so many shitty 3rd baseman since RON SANTO" that it was just another reason to love Aramis.  Never forget.

We actually had one really fucking good one IMMEDIATELY AFTER SANTO, who exercised the poor judgement of having a white wife.

[SKO]

What is Internet Chuck doing? Why is he hating on Mark Grace?

When I was a kid, I watched a lot of Cubs baseball and Mark Grace was my favorite baseball player. I played 1B and wore #17 because of him. I was too young to even know or understand what went on in Grace's personal life...I just knew he was a nails 1B. And I liked him. I just liked the guy.

So, I'm just wondering...I know Grace was apparently not a saint, but still...who cares? Don't taint my childhood, Chuck. Or I'll break your internet kneecaps.

This isn't even about Chuck hating on Grace's personal life or whatever. He's apparently upset that a guy who spent 13 years in Chicago and 3 years in Phoenix preferred playing in Chicago. He's upset about this as a guy who lives in Chicago. I...christ even for him this is a new low.

1) He said Grace is overrated, which he's not.  Nobody's talking about the guy for HOF.  He collected over 2,000 hits and was a gold glove first baseman.  I'd say as a player Grace was perfectly rated.
2) He calls him a "piece of shit".  I don't know what Grace does that differentiates himself from other pro athletes, but okay.  The guy whored around (again, like most ballplayers).  Is Chuck morally aggrieved?  Who knows? Maybe he's a piece of shit because..
3) He enjoyed losing more in Chicago than winning in AZ....I don't know what the fuck that means. He wasn't the GM--though Chuck undoubtedly feels that as the team leader (with a team that had Dawson and Sandberg when he arrived and, later, Sosa) he should have FORCED his bosses to add talent that they had no ability to discern.  In any event, the guy hit the ever-loving shit out of the ball in the '89 NLCS, maybe he wasn't aware that it was the playoffs?  The dude seemed pretty goddamn happy when the Diamondbacks won the world series in 2001 (particularly since he started the Series-winning rally against the great Mariano Rivera).

Chuck gonna Chuck but even this latest dispensation of fecal-encrusted wisdom is more maddening and nonsensical attention-seeking than most of Chuck's expressed thoughts on sports.

What it's all about'd.

I have a problem with all the drunk driving business down in Arizona. We know what he got busted for. We know he continued to do it afterward. We can only guess about how bad it actually was or how many times they let him go. I think if we're going to talk greasy about the Cardinals players who did it and what became of them, then we have to be honest about what Grace turned into. I don't want to call him a piece of shit, but I can't say I like him very much anymore.

That's honestly fine, but I don't think anything Chuck said indicates that he has butthurt over Grace being a fucking drunk driver. He appears to hate Mark Grace the baseballer and that's unforgiveable.

[InternetApex]

What is Internet Chuck doing? Why is he hating on Mark Grace?

When I was a kid, I watched a lot of Cubs baseball and Mark Grace was my favorite baseball player. I played 1B and wore #17 because of him. I was too young to even know or understand what went on in Grace's personal life...I just knew he was a nails 1B. And I liked him. I just liked the guy.

So, I'm just wondering...I know Grace was apparently not a saint, but still...who cares? Don't taint my childhood, Chuck. Or I'll break your internet kneecaps.

This isn't even about Chuck hating on Grace's personal life or whatever. He's apparently upset that a guy who spent 13 years in Chicago and 3 years in Phoenix preferred playing in Chicago. He's upset about this as a guy who lives in Chicago. I...christ even for him this is a new low.

1) He said Grace is overrated, which he's not.  Nobody's talking about the guy for HOF.  He collected over 2,000 hits and was a gold glove first baseman.  I'd say as a player Grace was perfectly rated.
2) He calls him a "piece of shit".  I don't know what Grace does that differentiates himself from other pro athletes, but okay.  The guy whored around (again, like most ballplayers).  Is Chuck morally aggrieved?  Who knows? Maybe he's a piece of shit because..
3) He enjoyed losing more in Chicago than winning in AZ....I don't know what the fuck that means. He wasn't the GM--though Chuck undoubtedly feels that as the team leader (with a team that had Dawson and Sandberg when he arrived and, later, Sosa) he should have FORCED his bosses to add talent that they had no ability to discern.  In any event, the guy hit the ever-loving shit out of the ball in the '89 NLCS, maybe he wasn't aware that it was the playoffs?  The dude seemed pretty goddamn happy when the Diamondbacks won the world series in 2001 (particularly since he started the Series-winning rally against the great Mariano Rivera).

Chuck gonna Chuck but even this latest dispensation of fecal-encrusted wisdom is more maddening and nonsensical attention-seeking than most of Chuck's expressed thoughts on sports.

What it's all about'd.

I have a problem with all the drunk driving business down in Arizona. We know what he got busted for. We know he continued to do it afterward. We can only guess about how bad it actually was or how many times they let him go. I think if we're going to talk greasy about the Cardinals players who did it and what became of them, then we have to be honest about what Grace turned into. I don't want to call him a piece of shit, but I can't say I like him very much anymore.

That's honestly fine, but I don't think anything Chuck said indicates that he has butthurt over Grace being a fucking drunk driver. He appears to hate Mark Grace the baseballer and that's unforgiveable.

Where did Chuck make these comments?

[Eli]

Chuck gonna Chuck but even this latest dispensation of fecal-encrusted wisdom is more maddening and nonsensical attention-seeking than most of Chuck's expressed thoughts on sports.

What it's all about'd.

Yup.

[Chuck to Chuck]

I have a problem with all the drunk driving business down in Arizona. We know what he got busted for. We know he continued to do it afterward.

I lost a friend in a drunk driving accident. She was sideswiped and pushed into oncoming traffic and hit a semi head on. The guy, when caught, was charged with:

Reckless homicide
Leaving the scene of a fatal accident
DUI
And...
Driving on a license suspended from a prior DUI.

He's a fucking piece of shit who is very lucky that he hasn't killed some innocent like what happened to Jackie. Multiple DUIs? Four months wasn't enough.

:::UPDATE:::

Looks like I misremembered semi-truck for pickup truck.

http://articles.chicagotribune.com/1988-06-22/news/8801090573_1_license-accident-car-trouble

[SKO]

Ignoring the garbage above.

HE'S BATTING FOURTH, MOTHER FUCKERS.

[World's #1 Astros Fan]

What is Internet Chuck doing? Why is he hating on Mark Grace?

When I was a kid, I watched a lot of Cubs baseball and Mark Grace was my favorite baseball player. I played 1B and wore #17 because of him. I was too young to even know or understand what went on in Grace's personal life...I just knew he was a nails 1B. And I liked him. I just liked the guy.

So, I'm just wondering...I know Grace was apparently not a saint, but still...who cares? Don't taint my childhood, Chuck. Or I'll break your internet kneecaps.

This isn't even about Chuck hating on Grace's personal life or whatever. He's apparently upset that a guy who spent 13 years in Chicago and 3 years in Phoenix preferred playing in Chicago. He's upset about this as a guy who lives in Chicago. I...christ even for him this is a new low.

1) He said Grace is overrated, which he's not.  Nobody's talking about the guy for HOF.  He collected over 2,000 hits and was a gold glove first baseman.  I'd say as a player Grace was perfectly rated.
2) He calls him a "piece of shit".  I don't know what Grace does that differentiates himself from other pro athletes, but okay.  The guy whored around (again, like most ballplayers).  Is Chuck morally aggrieved?  Who knows? Maybe he's a piece of shit because..
3) He enjoyed losing more in Chicago than winning in AZ....I don't know what the fuck that means. He wasn't the GM--though Chuck undoubtedly feels that as the team leader (with a team that had Dawson and Sandberg when he arrived and, later, Sosa) he should have FORCED his bosses to add talent that they had no ability to discern.  In any event, the guy hit the ever-loving shit out of the ball in the '89 NLCS, maybe he wasn't aware that it was the playoffs?  The dude seemed pretty goddamn happy when the Diamondbacks won the world series in 2001 (particularly since he started the Series-winning rally against the great Mariano Rivera).

Chuck gonna Chuck but even this latest dispensation of fecal-encrusted wisdom is more maddening and nonsensical attention-seeking than most of Chuck's expressed thoughts on sports.

What it's all about'd.

I have a problem with all the drunk driving business down in Arizona. We know what he got busted for. We know he continued to do it afterward. We can only guess about how bad it actually was or how many times they let him go. I think if we're going to talk greasy about the Cardinals players who did it and what became of them, then we have to be honest about what Grace turned into. I don't want to call him a piece of shit, but I can't say I like him very much anymore.

That's honestly fine, but I don't think anything Chuck said indicates that he has butthurt over Grace being a fucking drunk driver. He appears to hate Mark Grace the baseballer and that's unforgiveable.

Where did Chuck make these comments?

Don't say you weren't warned.

[Powdered Toast Man]

Go go gadget DONGBAND!

[ChuckD]

Go go gadget DONGBAND!

And once they slot Addison Russell in at #2, get rid of Herrera, and move #3-#8 down a spot? Would investing in whoever manufactures Jergens and Lubriderm be insider trading at that point?

[Quality Start Machine]

Go go gadget DONGBAND!

And once they slot Addison Russell in at #2, get rid of Herrera, and move #3-#8 down a spot? Would investing in whoever manufactures Jergens and Lubriderm be insider trading at that point?

Have you noticed Morph's been quiet lately?